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Highly Sensitive, Happily Married
49 minutes | Oct 6, 2022
Needs Vs Wants in Marriage
096 In the world of relationship improvement, “needs” gets used a whole lot! If you are using it in your own mind or saying it to your partner a lot, it makes sense...you were taught to. But often when we say needs what we are really talking about is a want. We get these two terms mixed up–and it’s not good for our own emotional well-being, or our marriage, leading to all sorts of power struggles, feelings of resentment, disappointment, and helplessness to make things good between you. In fact, having confusion about the difference–and where our needs and wants get met– can be the downfall of many relationships that would otherwise thrive. So today we are going to bust some of this confusion apart and get you some real clarity about the difference between wants and needs in your marriage. We will also dive into where your true power is to get your emotional needs met–and some of the specific differences we as highly sensitive women have to do around this–so you can have agency over your experience in your relationship–and a better marriage for the rest of your life! What I share today may challenge what you’ve been taught and believed up until now, but it will change everything in your marriage for the better. If you want a light, loving, connected marriage, where you actually enjoy your partner and feel consistently secure and fulfilled , then this is essential listening for you. Dig in. SHOW NOTES Hop on my email list HERE Or grab THE 7 MOST POWERFUL PHRASES TO DEEPEN CONNECTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE
35 minutes | Sep 22, 2022
Conflict Aversion To Conflict Comfort
095 It’s a rare Highly Sensitive Person that enjoys conflict – most of us are pretty averse to it! Because it’s uncomfortable! Lots of big feelings can come up. It can bring old stuff up from the past…and you can go into fight or flight or freeze mode. When it's happening, it can even feel like things are going to fall apart between you and your husband. So I get it if you tend to want to avoid it at all costs. But, rather than helping you avoid conflict or have peace in your marriage, being averse to conflict actually leads to MORE conflict — both internally and between you and your significant other— and less closeness and connection overtime. You can feel so much more comfort and ease when it comes to conflict—and this doesn't mean you will have more of them in your life! You will actually have less conflicts and issues in your marriage, as you will see today. In this episode I share all about: Why and how conflict aversion makes our experience of conflict worse and more damaging to your relationship Why conflict is harder as an HSP My own bad experience and healing journey around conflict and the 5 steps you can take to actually create so much more comfort with conflict, so it can HELP your marriage instead of hurting it. This episode is essential listening if you want your experience of conflict to be so much easier, so conflicts can stop being bigger problems than they need to be, and you can turn conflicts into conversations that actually lead to solutions and feeling closer with your partner and like a team in life together. Dive in. SHOW NOTES Links mentioned: VIDEO: A Tool No HSP Should Live — Or Love — Without Treasured Description Page JOIN TREASURED HERE: Treasured Great Mutual Fit Form DOORS CLOSE SATURDAY, Sept 24th, midnight PST.
46 minutes | Sep 15, 2022
Overcare; A Classic HSP Relationship Snag
094 As highly sensitive women, we tend to be pretty conscientious and pretty great at caring about others. But sometimes we care about and do so much for others that we overlook caring for ourselves. I call this Overcare–when you meet others' needs at your own expense–and I see it all the time in marriages… While it’s well-intentioned, overcare is detrimental to not just you, but to your marriage and your significant other (and even your kids). It leads to resentment, an ongoing sense of burden, and the fun and lightheartedness leaking away in your marriage. In this episode, we look at: why Overcare is so common for HSP women, where it comes from, what it looks like and how to spot it, what you can do to start shifting this long held pattern, so you can feel more connected, nourished, and light in your marriage, and just generally make things so much better in your life. Ever felt like your needs aren’t being met? Then this is a MUST listen episode! I share my own and some of my sensitive clients experiences with being enmeshed in overcare and what life is like now that they are free of it. (Hint: So much more FREE and happy–like I want you to be!) Listen in. SHOW NOTES:Learn about Treasured HERE and join HERE ( doors close Sept. 24th!!)
32 minutes | Sep 8, 2022
4 Keys To Conflict-Proofing Your Marriage
093 Conflict is part of marriage. But how much or how little it's a part of yours, and how hurtful or helpful it is to your marriage depends on how conflict-proof your marriage is. It will come up LESS often, and it will even be GOOD for your marriage, instead of pulling you into a downward spiral, when your marriage is very conflict-proof. But what does that even mean? And how do you conflict-proof your marriage as a highly sensitive person? Dive into this episode, and I will tell you all about it, and give you 4 keys to making your marriage super conflict-proof–even as an HSP who would prefer to not even hear the word conflict! These 4 keys will help you as stop lots of conflicts before they even start, keep conflict from flaring up nearly as often with your husband, make conflict so much easier to navigate when it happens, and help the conflicts that do come up be beneficial to your marriage, deepening the security and love you feel together over time. If everyone understood and LIVED these 4 keys, not only would our marriages be so much more loving and successful, but our whole world would be such a better place. I can’t wait for you to hear and implement these keys.SHOW NOTESLearn about Treasured HERE and join HERE.
35 minutes | Sep 1, 2022
BONUS:The Best Love Comes From Understanding Your Own Brain and Nervous System
Today I am doing something different: giving you a DIRECTORY of episodes to help you understand and work with the most influential thing in your marriage: your own brain and nervous system. Because I want you to have the best kind of love in your marriage–and I want it to last. The best news is that being able to have that is in large part about what goes on in you. Most marriage-unhappiness actually comes from a lack of understanding of how our brains and nervous systems work and how to be in charge of them –how to guide them in such a way that you create a much more loving relationship with your partner. In other words, your own brain and nervous system are the biggest obstacles to the relationship you want, AND the biggest source of the love you want, as well… … when you UNDERSTAND how they work and what they need to support them into it… Today, in this bonus episode, I share why and how that is so, and give you a short directory of which of my podcast episodes will actually help you understand your brain and nervous system and help you begin to USE these amazingly powerful “tools” FOR the love you want in your marriage–and for a life you love. Dig in!SHOW NOTESLearn and join TREASURED, Loving Marriage As A Highly Sensitive Woman HERE.
40 minutes | Aug 25, 2022
Communicate In A Way That Gets Through To Your Husband (3 Keys)
092 You want to get through to your husband about things that matter to you in your relationship. You want his understanding, empathy, support– and more connection. But maybe you’re frustrated, because it doesn't always go over so well when you try to communicate about it. Maybe he gets defensive, or argumentative, or shut down. This is because you both have patterning that isn’t supportive of the best communication and easy flow of support and connection. But that can change. You can learn to communicate in a way that is most effective at getting through to him, and opening his heart. In this episode, I share 3 specific powerful keys as to how you can do that, (they really work!) and help you understand why he isn’t always so good at hearing you, acting on your requests, or meeting those desires of yours (hint: it has to do with shame and conditioning that has wounded him). Don't miss this episode if you want to communicate in a way that touches your husband's true humanity, opens his heart, and has him hearing you —and ultimately being who he really is and who he really WANTS to be with you, the woman he loves.SHOW NOTESLearn about and join Treasured HERE.
30 minutes | Aug 18, 2022
How Self-Love=Better Communication; Kathryn's Story
Today we have another special guest –my client Kathryn! In this episode she shares a bit of the story of her journey from feeling really stuck in her marriage and unhappy with herself –what we playfully called, “I suck syndrome”--to feeling much happier with herself and her marriage. Her story is a great example of how a highly sensitive woman– with classic HSP challenges in relationship–can really improve her marriage by working on herself. She illustrates how you can transform your relationship with yourself, and therefore your communication and ways of relating to your partner (and your whole life), that will lead to way more fun, connection and happiness. We dive into: What NOT loving herself looked like, felt like, and how it affected her marriage How things have shifted for her in terms of her emotions, her marriage, and her general enjoyment of life, now that she’s come a long way in accepting herself and bringing in more self-love. What she did to really improve the communication in her marriage so both her and her husband have much better conversation about the things that matter. How she went from being defended to being vulnerable, and how that led to more connection with her husband. A couple great practices that really worked for her to help her make these big changes in herself and her marriage. And more! Kathryn is down to earth and has a straightforward way of articulating things that will help you get more insight into what self-love really is, what it entails to develop it, and how it will improve everything for the better in your life when you do. You’ll take away so much from this conversation!SHOW NOTESLearn about Treasured Here.
43 minutes | Aug 11, 2022
The Power of Marriage Goals
090 Once we get married, most of us stop having any goals in our marriages. This is one reason marriages often slowly get worse over time, instead of better. Setting marriage goals, and working towards them is a key to actually making your marriage what you want and having the experiences of love, connection, intimacy and fun you most long for. And can be done in a fun and self-honoring way. But here's the thing: we are often (subconsciously or consciously) very resistant to setting and especially working towards goals. This leaves us continuing to have the same old problems in our marriages–or to them getting worse and worse over time, until we feel truly stuck in an unhappy marriage. But you can change that easily, by understanding: what goals will do for your marriage, why our human brains resist them, and what you can do to overcome and work with your brain –so you can start really changing things in the best of ways in your marriage. In this episode, you’ll get a 4 step process to set your goals for your marriage and actually reach them, without letting the normal obstacles that come up get in your way (i.e lack of clarity, doubt, discomfort, fear, and our brains innate laziness). You don’t have to be one of the people who avoid the short-lived discomfort of working towards a goal, only to be left with a lifetime of discomfort in their marriage. No, today we get you all set up to make your marriage one of lifelong love and happiness that GROWs overtime. Don't miss this episode!SHOW NOTES:Learn all about TREASURED Hereand Enroll Here.
34 minutes | Aug 4, 2022
BONUS: Treasured Program Q and A
This is a special bonus episode to help answer any questions you may have about my marriage coaching program, Treasured; Loving Marriage as a Highly Sensitive Woman–so you can make a great informed decision about whether it’s right for you or not. Here are the questions I cover (along with the times I answer them in this episode!) Who is Treasured for and what does it help with? ( at minute 2:07) Why would I want to do this–especially if I’ve tried other things and it hasn't made my marriage what I want it to be? (at minute 9:00) What does Treasured include? (at minute 18:08) How much time will it take (and when does it start)? (at minute 21:56) Why a group program? (at minute 23:37) How do I enroll? (at minute 28:52) How do I know if Treasured is right for me?(at minute 29:45 ) When should I enroll?(at minute 32:19) What are other women's experiences doing this coaching with Hannah? (at minute 33:10) You can find out all about Treasured at the description page HERE. You can enroll HERE.
58 minutes | Jul 28, 2022
Loving Yourself To More Love In Your Marriage (7 Keys)
089 As you may have heard, self-love is key to having deep lasting love and harmony between you and your spouse–in SO many ways. I know you may get that– in theory! But too many highly sensitive people leave it at that--just theory. Understanding this intellectually does not give you what you need to actually FEEL and LIVE FROM that self-love– nor benefit from all it makes possible for you in your marriage and life. And, truth be told, you may not really even know what it MEANS to have self love. I know I was confused for a long time about it, myself. So today I want to help you: understand what self-love is (and isn’t), why it matters in your marriage why it’s normal to lack self-love as an HSP (it’s not your fault!) and why we as adults need to learn how to have this deep fondness for ourselves. understand 7 robust keys to actually develop bone deep self-love, so you can have a marriage you LOVE. I also share my own experience of love and relationships when I lived with a lack of self love, and how my marriage and life changed drastically for the way-better when I developed it. Developing real self love takes learning, practice, and letting go of a lot that gets in the way of FEELing it in your bones. But it is one of the most worthwhile things you will EVER do for yourself, your marriage, and your entire experience of life. These 7 keys will get you on the right path, starting today. This is a hearty, powerful, essential episode, so do not miss it. And bring a pen, you may want to take notes!SHOW NOTES:Learn about and join TREASURED here.Hannah's Website.
44 minutes | Jul 21, 2022
The Power of Self-Love To Heal a Hurting Relationship; Kim’s Story
088 We’ve all heard how Self-Love is important, but actually loving ourselves often remains very mysterious and elusive. So we are embarking today on a series all about self-love––because it is such an essential part of having a great marriage, especially as a highly sensitive person…and I want YOU to reap the huge rewards of having lots of it! My clients actually develop real self-love. And a few of them have agreed to come on the podcast to share their wisdom and experience with self-love with you, so you can begin developing it more, too. Today, my client, Kim, shares her experience of love and life before and after developing real self-love, and offers some really great wisdom around it for you. Listen in to hear: Why she was averse to self-love at first and why is she swears by it now. How developing self love not only seriously benefited her, but how it improved her relationship –and benefitted her fiancé, too. How it ripples out to lots of others in her world, too How incredibly well she fared by doing the work to develop self-love through the traumatic experience of infidelity (betrayal trauma)—as compared to the “norm”. What self-love entails Tips Kim has for you to develop more of it Nuances in self-love for HSPs. How this is a huge piece of Leading Love in your marriage and creating a Revolution of Love in your marriage–and entire life. Kim and I are both excited for you to hear her story, and take away practical insights and emotional shifts around self-love, too. Join us as we laugh, muse, ponder, and actually cry joy-tears together in this powerful interview!SHOW NOTES:Click here to learn about and join TREASURED.
47 minutes | Jul 14, 2022
Interdependent Loving (VS Unconscious Dependence)
087 For most of us highly sensitive women, the ultimate marriage would be one that feels truly, lovingly, interdependent: Where you and your significant other are mutually supportive, you face the daily challenges of living together with a sense of ally-ship, where you lean on each other, and love helping each other grow and evolve and overcome hard moments and old wounds, where you naturally lift each other up, and the daily to-dos get done with ease and collaboration…where you work through hard emotions together and you help each other feel connected and safe. We all want this kind of relationship. But in our eagerness to have that, we often make the mistake that costs us our happiness in marriage–or even our marriage itself… ...the mistake of skipping over the KEY WORK that will actually allow us to have that interdependent love we so desire. And so we unconsciously find ourselves instead in an emotionally dependent relationship, instead–one that is full of struggles, disconnection, and more heartache than we ever asked for. In this episode you’ll learn: what I mean by emotional dependence, if and where you may be falling into that (very normal in our modern world) trap, why it’s taking you further from the marriage you really want, why there’s no need for any shame or self-blame about this and most importantly, what you can do to reverse it and move your marriage toward the lovingly interdependent one you want! (And YES, you have that power!) Listen in to harness that huge influence over how your marriage goes, how loved, secure, and in love you feel, and how lovingly and supportively your partner relates to you. And perk your ears for the big announcement I make that you’ll want to learn all about!SHOW NOTES:Click here to learn about and join TREASURED.
44 minutes | Jun 30, 2022
More Pleasure With Danielle Savory
086 Pleasure, feeling good, sex, and enjoying being in our bodies are such wonderful, beneficial, and important parts of marriage…(and, really, being human beings!). I mean, why bother being married if there' s no pleasure to be had in it? Bringing MORE pleasure into our lives than many of us have currently is revolutionary, not just for our marriages, but for our world. Our pleasure benefits our marriages-- and so much more! Today I talk with a very special guest, Danielle Savory, Sex and Pleasure Coach for women–and fellow highly sensitive woman!-- about how to bring more pleasure into your sex life and your life in general, and WHY it changes everything for the better. Listen in to hear us dive into (with lots of laughter, stories, and fun facts): What true pleasure actually is– and isn't. Why prioritizing pleasure as women is so impactful on our own wellbeing, our love lives, and in our current world –and some of the science behind it. What blocks us from allowing ourselves the tons of pleasure available all around and what gets in the way of having more sexual pleasure in our intimate relationship. How we can open up to more pleasure in the bedroom and in general in our lives, including simple mindset shifts and practices you can apply today. How your sensitivity can help you have more pleasure. A few great tips for better sex as hsp women! And more… This episode is essential listening for any sensitive woman wanting to have a great marriage and to feel better in life–and, by doing so, even contribute to a better world.Show Notes: Danielle’s Website Danielle’s Instagram: @danielle.savory or click here Danielle’s podcast: It’s My Pleasure
39 minutes | Jun 23, 2022
Using Your Time To Support The Marriage And Life You Want
085 We have a limited amount of time in our lives. But how we use our time will determine how fulfilling our lives are–and how fulfilling our marriages are. If we have a mindset that time is scarce, or there's too much to do (which can be really common for us as highly sensitive women )we will keep ourselves from prioritizing the things that most matter to us. . . . . . and end up with a life–and a love life– that is lacking in nourishment, love, connection, joy, and all the things we truly desire, and that bring us the greatest meaning. So if your marriage isn’t as fulfilling and loving as you want it to be, and if your life isn’t as rich and nourishing as you want it to be, it's time to take a look at how you are thinking about and using your time. In this episode, we dive into: determining what really matters to you, noticing whether you are using your time in service of what you most care about, and how you can shift the way you relate to time in a way that makes it possible for you to actually bring to life the marriage (and other life goals) you really want. Buckle up, grab a pen, and be ready to move into a new era of approaching your day-to-day life in a way that's way more aligned with what most matters to you, and that will lead to a future of way more love and fulfillment. SHOW NOTES: Elephant Journal Article Mentioned Hannah's website
22 minutes | Jun 16, 2022
Task Talks: Dry-Toast-Relationship Remediation
If you sometimes (or often) feel like your marriage is more of a business partnership than a romantic relationship, or you go through long phases when things feel kind of dry and dull and between you and your significant other, this episode is a must-listen. It’s so easy– with all the do-to’s of running a life together with careers, a home to take care of, children, extended family, and pets–to fall into spending most of airtime with your partner talking about what needs to get done. Speaking from experience, this, over time, can make your marriage metaphorically shift from being like a juicy mango, to more like a dry piece of toast. Since I know that's not what you want your marriage to feel like, it’s time to put an end to that now. Today you will learn one key practical logistical thing you can do, broken down into 4 simple steps, that will not just make your lives together more organized and efficient, but will actually clear the way for a lot more intimacy, connection, and sense of allyship in your marriage. SHOW NOTES Hop on Hannah's Email List Grab THE 7 MOST POWERFUL PHRASES TO DEEPEN CONNECTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE
37 minutes | Jun 2, 2022
The Love Spectrum Scale
083 Want to be able to guide yourself and your marriage into a place of more love, more connection, more light-heartedness and mutual supportiveness (or what I call the land of Real-Enchantment–or lasting love)? Today I introduce you to a tool that will help you do just that! Because, the truth is, after some years of marriage or partnership, it can take some self-guidance to connect to real love for our partner , and STAY there. The kind of love we want in our marriages isn’t just bestowed upon us magically until the end of time. But it can be lovingly cultivated and deepened until it is sustained. Enter The Love Spectrum Scale, an awareness tool that will help you guide yourself and your marriage ever-more towards the loving, alive, heart-fulfilling experience you want it to be. In this episode, you will learn what the Love Spectrum Scale is, how to make a personal usable version of your own, how to begin using it to help yourself tap into the full range of the most useful emotions in relationships in order to not only make the harder moments in your life with your significant other easier, but to be able to interact with your partner in ways that make your marriage better every day.SHOW NOTES:Hop on Hannah's Email ListHannah's Website
36 minutes | May 26, 2022
Changing Circumstances vs Thoughts
As highly sensitive people (HSPs), we are more sensitive to all the things than non-HSPs. Because of this, some popular advice for HSPs can tend toward finding environments and external circumstances that will support our sensitive systems. That's all fine and good when we can control such things. But when it comes to other people–especially our partner–we can't usually make them “suit” us. We can’t control the “circumstance” of what they do or say. (But boy do some of us try--and it backfires almost always in marriage– ask me how I know!) In fact, in general, relying on changing external circumstances to be well and happy leaves us quite powerless. The good news is that you don't actually have to change circumstances to feel great in your marriage, especially once you’ve developed Emotional Agency–in other words, once you’ve learned how to free your emotions from the circumstances outside of you, and be in charge of them from within. Then you no longer need to try to change or control your significant other (or other things in the world you simply don't have the power to control) in order to feel how you want to feel–and have a great marriage. In today's episode, I share with you a favorite simple tool, called The Model, to start developing this —a tool that will go a huge way in helping you be very empowered around feeling fulfilled, light, connected, and like a team in your relationship with your significant other –without getting him to change at all.SHOW NOTES:Set up your consult with Hannah here.
39 minutes | May 19, 2022
How To Create Emotional Intimacy In Your Marriage
As a highly sensitive woman, you likely love –and want more—emotional intimacy. So you will want to know what creates it between two people, and what leads you further from it in your marriage. In this episode, I share the gold on all of it, and let you in on how to create more emotional intimacy with your husband—even without his active participation. We look together at: What prevents or erodes intimacy in a long-term relationship, where it really comes from, the 2 modes you must operate from to build more of it between you and your significant other, and a couple of surprising not-talked-about truths about what creating that deep loving intimacy really entails--including the very biggest key to it of all. You’ll walk away with so much more clarity on how to bring the love-sustaining nourishment of emotional intimacy into your own marriage. Don’t miss this episode.SHOW NOTES:Set up your consult with Hannah here.
27 minutes | May 5, 2022
HSPs 2 Modes For Best Change In Marriage
If you’ve been listening to this podcast at all, it's because you’re an Highly Sensitive Person who wants to make things better, and stay great, in your relationship or marriage. If so, it’s important that you understand the two modes we, as HSPs, need to move back and forth between in order to best grow, change, and shift things between us and our significant other (and keep things really healthy). If we only stay in one of these modes, we will have a much harder time improving our marriages (and any area of our life!). In this episode, I clue you into what these two modes are, and how you can honor both in order to have the marriage you really want with your partner–and truly, to best make any changes you want in your life as a sensitive soul.lifeisworthloving.com
42 minutes | Apr 28, 2022
Making A Habit Of Love Without Conditions
079 Most of us limit ourselves (unconsciously, of course!) from feeling as much love as we could in our marriages. We therefore not only miss out on all the love available, but we also miss out on the benefits it brings to our marriages, and to our own selves–of which there are SO many, especially for you as a highly sensitive person. Now, you may want to feel more love, but you may also feel like it’s not really up to you. That how much love you feel is contingent on how loving your husband is. You may tend to only experience feeling love when it’s easy to do so, and not so much when your husband does things that make it hard to love. Today, my friend, we begin to change all of this. Because love is always available to you, and you can even love what is hard to love (only if you want to, of course!). But it is a skill you may need to learn, so it can become habit–or simply natural to you. When you make a habit of loving without conditions, only good can come of it. Listen in to this episode to find out what I mean, how it can bring out the gift of your sensitivity, and how you can be empowered to have so much more love in your marriage and life–no matter what your husband is or isn’t doing– by no longer withholding love unconsciously, and instead making unrestricted love a regular and deeply nurturing part of your life. SHOW NOTES:Set up your consult with Hannah here.
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