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You're Welcome with Mel and Patience
27 minutes | Mar 8, 2013
You're Welcome - Episode 23
Where's the cranny granny? I think I have a bladder problem, HALP! I'm an 18 year old native NZ'r and I am holidaying in Brisbane. Where should I go? Dear Mel and Patience, I've just been told that my Grandfather only has 6 months to live. Do you guys have any advice to give me on how to cope with this terrible news. I think I have depression and anxiety and I was wondering if you ladies have any ideas for activities I could do to calm myself in general? I am a Mum who gets sick often. On top of this I get really bummed out when I get sick, do you have any suggestions for brightening my mental outlook when I get sick?
30 minutes | Feb 19, 2013
You're Welcome - Episode 22
I'm starting high school and need some tips! Why do we think of New Zealanders as second class citizens (controversial!)? I'm 23 and have been dating my high school sweetheart for 6 years. My heart's starting to stray and I need some advice. I'm a young lady and I want to donate some of my eggs, and not the kind you keep in the fridge. Reckon I should? Help! My neighbours keep filling up my wheelie bin with their rubbish! In the shower I find stuff in my butt, in this normal? My good friend's turning into a bit of a bad bloke, advice? Mel is suffering from chronic headaches, Dr. Patience, what's the cure?
30 minutes | Dec 12, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 21
Up The Shops or Down The Shops, Mel needs some language advice. I clocked a dodgy looking blokes taking photos of people and laughing, what would you have done in this situation? Patience, before The Grates got famous, would you have considered dating someone you met at a show? Every year it seems I am pressured into buying my friends kids Xmas presents. Any tips on how to give them the hint- don’t get me anything and I’ll return the favour. My cat Fang keeps killing things! Halp! I am the only female at my work and someone is doing number twos in my loo that's not me! Should I let the mystery pooper continue or take a stand?
21 minutes | Nov 21, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 20
A very special pharmaceutical You're Welcome with Living Legend (and pharmacist) Emma. Mel asks Patience about STI checks. Fluconazole vs. Yogurt... where?!? Do you want me to embarrass myself when I by butt cream accidentally at the cosmetics counter? How can pharmacies, hubs of health, sell those dodgy weight loss drugs? When a pharmacist knows best. What is the current legal/PBS status of naltrexone? When can I get the pill without going to the doctor? WTF is period mitigation (no, we asking you listener). Why do I have to wait so long for my awesome pain meds? What is a compounding pharmacy. Mel needs scar help. What gross stuff has walked through those electronic doors to you Emma?
26 minutes | Nov 2, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 19
Mel and Pae solve your life! Part 2 of the 'Scab Gobbler' with John Patterson. Homesickness blues, where there's no kangaroos. I saw a giant poo and now I don't know what to do! Plus no 'number twos' while nervous so how do I continue this service (on Schoolies). Bi-sexual netball coach needs advice on how to approach, getting the best from the team without suppressing her feelings. Kind words for Mrs. Eyeball's ghost from Sydney's Live Minutes show!
25 minutes | Sep 17, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 18
Mel asks for some hair advice and Patience tells of her fantasy hair colour. Help! I am a secret vegetarian, how do I 'come out of the closet' to my folks and boyfriend. I'm 18 and still haven't had my first kiss. I think we have a 'Mrs Eyeball' type cat situation on our hands. Do we go forth and love the kitty or turn a blind eye? Comedy help! I laugh at my own jokes and spoil everything. Patience gives away one of Eileen's secret recipes so grab a pen.
28 minutes | Sep 12, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 17
I'm in year 12 and need 'dress up' ideas from 90s era TV. What to do if you have a prosthetic leg covered in fingernails and eyeballs? Is there a safe way to wear white swimwear. Why do some cans at the supermarket not have ring pulls. Paranormal experiences. H2o: Just Add Water is about mermaids, real mermaids. Creepy babies in ties.
38 minutes | Aug 29, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 16
Patience asks Mel for some sensitive Bridesmaids advice. Vicky needs help dressing 1920s for her University Ball. Kate needs to know how to store bread correctly. Kit wants to bring haters to their knees. Rachael mistakenly bought a pair of pageant mother jeans - is there a way she can wear them? Bear Warrior hates his job but is 2 weeks too early to walk out? Mel has a big package in her lap! What could it be? Special mail box questions answered. An exceptional 'We're Welcome'. And Jonathan is a soon to be an uncle thinking of throwing a surprise baby shower.
41 minutes | Aug 15, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 15
Mel and Patience's 3rd ever live podcast! Recorded live 6:05pm Brisbane time 15/8/2012.
49 minutes | Aug 1, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 14
Mel and Patience's 2nd ever live podcast! Recorded live 5:30pm Brisbane time 2/8/2012.
49 minutes | Jul 18, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 13
Mel and Patience's 1st ever live podcast! Recorded live 4:30pm Brisbane time 18/7/2012.
30 minutes | Jul 4, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 12
Special Guest - Raven Hodgson! Mel has to let a friend down - how should she do it? Fake argument? Free Kitchen Aid? Being an Aunty - how to be a baller babysitter. What should I study in high school? Math or fun? Cardigans - they're not a game. Where to find the pimpest weave? Mallory the cat has named her favourite human, and she goes by the name 'Mel Buttle'. Small time fun. How to keep entertained in a town of fifty? Bin fruit and aprons: Updates from Patience's boi Roy. New segment!'We're Welcome': Patience, Mel and Raven get some sweet gifts from boys.
41 minutes | Jun 20, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 11
The new cat has serious consequences for Patience - is she being single white feline'd? Chokos! A wartime classic, but any ideas for using them in culinâirè 2012? Busted leg, at home with the folks... I got no joy! Ladies help please? I'm moving to Brissy with my better half to make baller level dough. I desire a dog, where should I move too? A precious kitty cat wants to cheat on it's owners with me. Ethical guidance needed. I has trouble going night-night. Tips? I'm barely legal and need ideas to best flaunt my new found adulthood.
48 minutes | Jun 6, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 10
Ladies, I possess no cookery skills but have gone cray for toffee apples, can you help me take this obsession to the next level? Toffee fruit? Patience do you have any magic balms for adult acne? Hola gurlfrens, I'm an American who seeks sun advice from you ladies who hath survived the harsh Australian light. I'm a straight teen, i think, but I'm kinda in love with my best friend, I think... What up with that? Recently my boyfriend has fallen into a gaming hole. He's gaming non-stop. I love him but can't let this go on any longer. Advice? Um, I'm 17 and are these normal symptoms of a painful break up? Hey Mr. Postman! What's this? A hand delivered letter? Yep! You'll have to listen to find out, as we open it live on air!
54 minutes | May 23, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 9
18, out of the closet but in trouble with the folks! They just aren't convinced I'm actually gay. Who are we gonna call? Terry Hodgson. Advice from an actual parent, you're welcome. Mel has insanely itchy legs that can keep her awake at night. What weird and magical cures does Patience have? I *think* I have a GF, but how will I know for sure? I'm a singer songwriter who wants to go to the next level. Advice please Patience (and Mel). Ladies, I've just got braces, they bloody hurt and I've overdosed on jelly. Please list me off some soft foods. I'm in grade 12 and am scared of being with the guy I like, plus, who do I take to the formal? 26, intelligent and bored in a secure part time job. I have bigger plans but these are not endorsed by my Mum. Life help please? Our first HAND WRITTEN LETTER, opened live on air... a question about something that comes out your rear end.
33 minutes | May 9, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 8
The elephant in the room. Could 'Board Game Bars' be a hit in Australia? I'm young, single and beginning IVF a.s.a.p. but my mother is chagrined. Is my band name rad or sad? I love a legit 'perfect' but already taken guy... should I move on or put the moves on? I'm a teenager, in Tasmania and I feel alone - help me ladies with some confidence tips please. Thank you for being a friend.
39 minutes | Apr 25, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 7
Emotional manipulation OMG! My hairdresser hacked too hard and it's party season, help me restore my confidence. I need an injection of new slang words to impress peeps with. Sixteen and stressed out, ladies help me manage. I've been chosen to represent a whole country at an international debating competition but I've never debated! I think I have a Mrs. Eyeball situation on my hands but my parents are not happy. My 21 year old BFF is single and trying to get knocked up! I get hot under the collar when it comes to feet, how do I tell my new GF? Patience I love you and I'm having relationship problems, weird hey?
41 minutes | Apr 11, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 6
Is there a Doctor in the house? YES! Special guest Lindsay 'The Doctor' McDougall (ironically he's sick). Patience asks Lindsay for album writing advice. We help out a 16 year old slaving away in a fish n chip shop. Lindsay tells us about his first job! Ding dong, Seja Vogel drops by (again). What to you do when a friends BF wants to buy you gifts? I'm scared of prematurely becoming a cat lady. How do I avoid this? The gang debate 'the friends zone' - does it exist and more importantly how do you avoid it? Help! I live on an island full of revolting men. Do I leave or do I get more dogs?
34 minutes | Mar 28, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 5
Mel gets advice on lentil cookery from Patience. Special guest Comedian Josh Earl! What should we call our indie, semi-acoustic punk band? Girls always break up with me because I’m too nice, what should I do? I don’t have much money, how can I party with limited funds? Who are our favourite characters from 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation? Patience puts an ‘S’ on everything. Is stealing toilet paper wrong? How should I deal with my sunburnt feet? Question of The Week! My prison penpal won’t write back to me, what should I do?
34 minutes | Mar 14, 2012
You're Welcome - Episode 4
Tom Ballard from Triple J is our special guest! Could you be a good fag hag? I don’t want to go to university, what do I tell my parents? Question of The Week! Did I go to far when I urinated in a girl’s hat at Fall’s Festival? What names did we get called by bullies? Who are our sponsors? I’m tall, is it ok for me to hit the dance floor at concerts? How do you make conversation with famous people? How will we celebrate the 1-year anniversary of The Minutes Podcast? Salt and Pepper, which spice goes in which shaker?
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