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Your Secret Is Safe With Me
35 minutes | Sep 22, 2022
107. Is Monogamy (Un)Natural?
Tune in this week because Dr. Marie Murphy is unpacking the question, “Is monogamy natural or unnatural?” Marie is diving deep into what natural even means, the meaning that gets applied to the word natural, and why it only gets more complicated when you try to bring the natural versus unnatural debate to how you think about your relationships, monogamy, and what you really want in your sexual and romantic life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/107
28 minutes | Sep 15, 2022
106. Ask Yourself the Right Questions
Maybe you want to leave your marriage, but you’re not sure exactly why yet. Perhaps you think your marriage is something you should aspire to and value, but you’re not fully wanting it. Asking yourself, “Why would I want to leave a perfect relationship?” is the wrong question. So, in this episode, Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to ask yourself the right questions that show you what you really want, not what you think you should want. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/106
27 minutes | Sep 8, 2022
105. It May Be Time to Chuck Your Checklist
Tune in this week to discover why your attempts to systematically compare your relationships aren’t helping you make a decision. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing why being in a relationship with more than one wonderful person isn’t some kind of terrible problem that needs resolving immediately, and she’s showing you how to decide what you really want, so you can make a checklist that actually works for you. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/105
28 minutes | Sep 1, 2022
104. The Courage to Make Changes and Choices
Despite what you may have told yourself, it’s your human right to have desires and make choices in the service of what you want, regardless of whether other people like them or not. If you’re in the midst of an infidelity situation, you don’t need anybody telling you what you should be doing. You need to figure out what you want and how to get it, so in this episode, I’m showing you how to cultivate the courage to make new choices that lead to the change you want for your life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/104
42 minutes | Aug 25, 2022
103. Dealing with a Vindictive Affair Partner
Pain and suffering may be inevitable parts of the human experience. But when we can learn to deal with our discomfort differently, we can eliminate unnecessary suffering. So, tune in this week to discover how to deal with a vindictive affair partner, and how to use your thinking to get clear on what exactly it is you’re afraid of, how likely it is that your fears will be realized, and how you would proceed if you didn’t feel so freaked out about the situation becoming volatile. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/103
35 minutes | Aug 18, 2022
102. You Got Caught Cheating
Tune in this week for some non-judgmental advice if you’ve been caught in the act of cheating, or been presented with irrefutable evidence of your cheating. Dr. Marie Murphy is focusing on your feelings about getting caught, dealing with your partner’s response to what’s going on, and how to decide on the way you want to frame your story - what you want to disclose, and thinking carefully about what you want to do next. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/102
34 minutes | Aug 11, 2022
101. What Physical Pain Teaches Us About Emotional Pain
Is emotional discomfort getting in the way of what you want most from your relationships? When faced with a situation that challenges your growth, it is normal to feel discomfort. How can you embrace that discomfort to rebuild your relationship? When transforming your relationship, you need to concede that emotional discomfort — just like physical discomfort — is part of life. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, learning to recognize an emotional experience in constructive ways has profound and broad benefits. Dr. Murphy says these emotions can be lessons and motivators for change to achieve the relationship you desire. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about what we can learn from emotional discomfort. She discusses the correlation between physical and emotional discomfort, why avoiding your emotions can have consequences, and building a new relationship with emotional discomfort.
25 minutes | Aug 4, 2022
100. The Point of Resolving Your Infidelity Situation
Do you find yourself torn between wanting to resolve your relationship worries and being afraid of negative consequences? What is the best way to deal with infidelity drama, uncertainty, and intrusive thoughts? Dr. Marie Murphy says it all starts with being faithful to yourself. She shares her advice on various challenges that could seem terrifying and explains how facing these challenges can bring you peace in your relationships as well as in your everyday life. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about different methods of solving an infidelity situation and understanding the benefits of change. Dr. Murphy explains the importance of recognizing your emotions and needs, how to effect change, and strategies for motivating yourself to live the life you want — without the paralyzing feelings.
24 minutes | Jul 28, 2022
99. What Do You Expect Out of a Romantic Relationship?
When it comes to romantic relationships, what are your expectations and intentions? How can you contribute to your relationship constructively to ensure your needs are met? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, your relationships with others are important, but the relationship you have with yourself is even more significant. How you contribute to a relationship carries the most weight, so it’s crucial to be clear on your understanding of what you expect from yourself and your romantic partner. By establishing and communicating your expectations, Dr. Murphy says you can consciously decide the direction and motives of any relationship you’re part of. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about navigating the beliefs and expectations about romantic partnerships. She discusses understanding people’s opinions of what a relationship is supposed to be, identifying the reasoning behind a romantic relationship, and becoming conscious of your desires and obligations.
36 minutes | Jul 21, 2022
98. Stop Telling Yourself These Three Things Right Now
When confronted with grief, difficult situations, or relationship challenges, it’s easy to convince ourselves of uncertainty or confusion to avoid making tough decisions. Yet, these thoughts are often unproductive and promote stagnancy. So, how can you change your mindset to overcome these difficulties? Dr. Marie Murphy recommends establishing what you know and want so you can begin to make decisions that will satisfy your desires. It’s important to remember that you always have a choice about whether or not to accept challenges. By embracing emotional discomfort and acting on your circumstances, you can redefine your perspective to manage your thoughts and feelings. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in today’s episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, as she discusses turning unproductive statements into effective decisions. Dr. Murphy explains the difference between thoughts and circumstances, how to overcome uncertainty in relationships, and tips for managing your thoughts and emotions.
35 minutes | Jul 14, 2022
97. Re-Engaging in a Relationship After an Affair, Part 2
Why do you want to re-engage in your primary relationship? How can you intentionally generate excitement and a deep passion with your primary partner? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the convenient option of re-engaging with your primary does not mean it is obligatory. While the comfortable and familiar route may be the easiest, it also comes with challenges, difficulties, and awkwardness. Dr. Murphy recommends meeting those challenges with enthusiasm, and to be present and fully honest with yourself to improve your primary relationship. On this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about the process of re-engaging with your primary partner after an affair. Dr. Murphy discusses deciphering whether you have a relationship of convenience or desire, the challenges and emotions around your relationship, and why you need to put in the effort to produce results.
37 minutes | Jul 7, 2022
96. When You Leave Your Marriage but Your Affair Partner Doesn't
When presented with the prospect of dismantling their lives by ending their marriage, people may become dismayed. What happens when your affair partner doesn’t leave their marriage — but you do? It can be easy to downgrade your value and blame your partner’s actions on the explanation that you’re deeply and fatally flawed. When someone makes a choice, Dr. Marie Murphy says you can’t manage what other people do, you can only manage your decisions about how to respond to them. You have the power to recognize and make the best of the situation — and the ability to recognize your romantic future is not determined by the fate of your affair. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about how to decide what you want your romantic future to look like, even without your affair partner. Dr. Murphy explains what happens when your affair partner does not leave their marriage, why you need to get clear about your wants in a relationship, and the importance of recognizing that your affair partner’s decisions do not indicate a flaw with yourself.
44 minutes | Jun 30, 2022
95. Dealing With a Needy Affair Partner
What happens when your affair partner becomes needy of your attention and affection? How can you handle the feelings of discomfort and uncertainty when ending your marriage while being pushed by your affair partner to make a decision? Dr. Marie Murphy says it's all about how you manage your mind and deal with your emotions. You feel good when you’re with your affair partner, so you begin to expect that feeling. But, when things go differently, you may encounter feelings of neediness. What does Dr. Murphy suggest? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about understanding and navigating neediness in your affair. Dr. Murphy discusses decision-making and the effect it can have on your relationships, how to manage conflicting experiences, and understanding the behaviors behind neediness to create a more respectful relationship.
53 minutes | Jun 23, 2022
94. Is It Cheating if Your Spouse Has Alzheimer's?
It’s easy to feel exhausted when you’re constantly at someone else’s disposal. Society’s biases toward a Martyr Complex can make it difficult to talk about — especially when you’re told to sacrifice your own happiness at someone else’s expense. How can you set boundaries to achieve your own happiness, even when it feels difficult? Loretta knows what it is like to face challenges, stigmas, and responsibilities as a caregiver to her husband with Alzheimer's. Since her husband’s diagnosis, she had sacrificed her happiness in and outside of the bedroom — until she made a decision. Are you ready to improve your situation and let go of the guilt holding you back? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy is joined by Loretta to discuss how to create your own happiness and rediscover new joy — regardless of the difficulties in your life. Loretta talks about her husband’s diagnosis with Alzheimer's, why setting boundaries is an incalculable practice in a relationship, and ways to allow growth and happiness into your life through new opportunities while caring for an incapacitated spouse.
41 minutes | Jun 16, 2022
93. Allowing Yourself To Want What You Want
If you’ve ever found yourself staring your desires in the face, it can be challenging to ride the emotional waves that follow. Trying to suppress your desire can be exhausting — but what if there was another way? How can you prioritize the experience of feeling your desires without taking any action? Dr. Marie Murphy recommends practice. Try allowing yourself to feel your desires, even if they lead to disappointment or impatience. Most importantly, Dr. Murphy notes that letting yourself acknowledge your desires does not mean you must take action. So, how do you allow yourself to experience the emotion of desire? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about figuring out the feelings and emotions of your desires. Listen as Dr. Murphy explains the repercussions of neglecting your desire, why honoring your desires can lead to better experiences, and how to practice feeling your desires.
70 minutes | Jun 9, 2022
92. Holding Our Desires Lightly With Katy Dion
Do you struggle with competing desires in your relationship? Do you find yourself unable to reconcile those longings? Desire is a complex emotion that can take many forms, so how do you learn to navigate all of its intricacies? For most of her adult life, Katy Dion internalized stereotypes about motherhood and the ideal relationship, leading to conflicting desires. It wasn’t until she tried to separate those desires that she realized she could change her mindset to accommodate both. Now, Katy uses her learnings as a mindfulness-based life coach and facilitator to help partners clarify what they want. In today’s episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks with Katy Dion, a mindfulness-based life coach, chaplain, facilitator, and writer, about rectifying her own desires. Katy shares her inspiration for writing the Modern Love essay, her journey to motherhood while navigating a complex relationship, and her strategies for sharing your desires with your partner.
36 minutes | Jun 2, 2022
91. The Intensity of a New Affair
Engaging in a new infidelity situation can carry intense and conflicting emotions. How can you handle the magnitude and mixture of your feelings? Is it possible to find clarity during these heightened moments? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the intensity of the emotions accompanying a new relationship is compounded with an infidelity situation — especially if the relationship is forbidden or you have conflicting feelings. Dr. Murphy recommends that you take time to digest these feelings to get clear on what you want from your new affair. Only then can you deal with your emotions clearly and make the right decision for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about the intensity of the emotions that accompany a new infidelity situation. Dr. Murphy explains why you may have conflicting thoughts during the start of an affair, how to find clarity with your uncomfortable feelings, and her tips for achieving the outcome you desire in your infidelity situation.
33 minutes | May 26, 2022
90. Should I Go to Couple's Therapy?
How can you find clarity about your thoughts surrounding couples therapy or counseling? If you already feel sure about ending your relationship, what are your reasons for wanting to go? Before going to couples therapy, you need to have a clear understanding of your reason for attending. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people go into couple’s therapy because they’re looking to stall difficult conversations, they feel obligated to attend, or they want help facilitating a breakup. But Dr. Murphy says that it is not a guaranteed or automatic solution — you will still have feelings of discomfort associated with ending the relationship regardless of what your therapist does. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses how to determine if couple’s therapy or counseling is right for you. Dr. Murphy talks about justifying your reasons for attending counseling, the desire for a deeper understanding before ending a relationship, and the distinction between therapy and coaching.
28 minutes | May 19, 2022
89. Does Having an Affair Doom Your Marriage to Failure?
If you’ve had an affair that’s now ended, you may be worried about what this secret will mean for the future of your marriage. Does keeping your cheating a secret doom your marriage to failure? Do you still deserve love and happiness after your infidelity? Will your marriage still have trust? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, these are all common fears — but none of them are true unless you believe they are. As she says, the future of your marriage depends on what you choose to focus on after your affair has ended. If you believe you’ve doomed your marriage to failure because you cheated, then this may become a reality. But, if you instead focus on shifting your mindset and moving forward, you can cultivate a marriage of love, trust, and happiness. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy addresses the common fears you may have after your secret affair has ended. Dr. Murphy explains why you are in control of whether or not your infidelity poisons your marriage and how to shift your mindset from fear to growth. She also breaks down the “think, feel, act” cycle and shares her advice for moving forward with your marriage.
34 minutes | May 12, 2022
88. When Bad Sh*t Happens
If you experience a major upheaval in your relationship, the disruption can feel like your world is crumbling down. How can you deal with this radical adjustment? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it may feel like bad shit is happening, but through destruction comes opportunities. If you deliberately choose to restructure your life from the rubble, you can build and grow your authentic self. Dr. Murphy says that to ride out uncomfortable or devastating experiences, you should ask yourself why this change is happening for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy pulls out a deck of tarot cards to detail how you can deal with unforeseen change in your infidelity situation. Dr. Murphy explains how The Tower card can be a symbol of opportunity, her tips for navigating difficult upheavals in your relationship, and how to restructure your life for personal growth.
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