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You Had Me at Bigfoot
124 minutes | Mar 11, 2020
Episode 38: You Had Me at the Devil
On this episode, Cincinnati Pink Socks starting pitcher, Tom, and Los Angeles Mungers third baseman, V, tackle the curious case of Benjamin Satan. Tom demonstrates the importance of having a lawyer present for Faustian bargains, and V empties a woman like a tube of toothpaste with a perfectly executed RKO suplex combo.
100 minutes | Mar 4, 2020
Episode 37: You Had Me at Nightmares
On this episode, back door-dreaming nightmare merchant, Tom, and ancient Egyptian lucid dream interpreter, V, discuss the meaning of dreams and how to suppress them with prescription medication. Tom deciphers the prehistoric braille inscriptions on Tulsi Gabbard’s raw meat face and V sings a ballad to pacify the sleep paralysis demon in his room.
50 minutes | Feb 27, 2020
Episode 24: You Had Me at Macho Man Albert Fish
This episode was originally recorded in October of 2019, but V’s audio was not recorded, nor could it be recovered. In an effort to release the episode anyway, a special guest stepped in to take his place: the ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage. In this episode, cannibalistic mad lib enthusiast, Tom, and Santa letter-writing death row inmate, Dustin, are joined by Slim Jim-snapping Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion, V (voiced by Macho Man Randy Savage), as they discuss the life and times of serial rapist and child murderer Albert Fish. Tom serves up a plate of fat ass, Dustin finds himself up piss creek with only a studded spanking paddle, and V shares the emotional strain he suffered from his feuds with Tito Santana and Hulk Hogan. Stay tuned after the episode for a previously unreleased Hidden Poop episode.
112 minutes | Feb 19, 2020
Episode 36: You Had Me at Chupacabra
In this episode, giant hairy Canadian beaver, Tom, and black summoning of death/sempiternal winter funeral, V, are joined by beer fart, Mattsquatch, as they summarize, in five minutes, everything you need to know about the chupacabra. Tom bedazzles his uniform pants, V tries his hand at hentai casting couch direction, and Mattsquatch questions the cultural diversity of Wisconsin in the 1990s.
117 minutes | Feb 12, 2020
Episode 35: You Had Me at [CANCELLED]
On this episode, Old Testament prophet of the Northern Kingdom, Tom, and 14 time Emmy award-winning television producer, V, are joined by Democratic minority leader of the Senate, Yakov Alive as they discuss the reasoning behind some of the more well-known Jewish conspiracies. Tom pledges his allegiance to Big Brother, V sets up a new profile on JDate, and Yakov adamantly insists that the wall is being built along the southern border.
162 minutes | Feb 6, 2020
You Had Me at Pandemic
On this episode, 1950’s African AIDS monkey butcher, Tom, and begrudging $300 hand job-giver, V, discuss the current coronavirus pandemic and the impact it has had on the red light district in Germany. Tom denies banging furry patient zero and V laps up a bowl of bat soup, fangs first.
106 minutes | Jan 29, 2020
Episode 33: You Had Me at Deja Vu
On this episode, shitty alternate reality version of himself, Tom, and late night infomercial fortune teller, V, discuss the various theories regarding deja vu. Tom rips a hole in the fabric of time and space by pulling his penis out during an instance of deja vu and V curses God for not delivering his mutant powers in a timely manner.
126 minutes | Jan 22, 2020
Episode 32: You Had Me at Skippy
On this episode, blood, semen, breast milk and urine donor, Tom, and tobacco spit mason jar preserver, V, are joined by spirit cooking mixologist, Jerry from FOJ Live, as they discuss the failed campaign chair of the Hillary Clinton 2016 presidential campaign, John Podesta, and why he’s a disgusting human being from any objective standpoint. Tom issues a regional amber alert, V reminds the spirit cookers not to forget the piss, and Jerry promotes his unpopular Etsy store.
98 minutes | Jan 13, 2020
Episode 31: You Had Me at Skinwalkers
On this episode, woodland man-deer-tree cryptid, Tom, and infiltrator of the Skywalker Ranch, V, are joined by concert skin flautist, Yakov Alive as they discuss the Navajo taboo topic of the Skinwalker and how it could just be a big, fat government conspiracy. Tom snaps the infinity condom, V is captured masturbating on grainy trail cam footage, and Yakov argues the geopolitical consequences of the Skinwalker nation state.
110 minutes | Jan 9, 2020
Episode 30: You Had Me at Reptoids
On this episode, glitching shapeshifter, Tom, and wax animatronic, V, consider the various theories and origins of reptilians. Tom straddles the fence of belief for the first time, and V goes all the way with a hot alien babe. Join the boys as they recklessly accuse every celebrity and politician of being a slimy lizard person.
114 minutes | Dec 30, 2019
Episode 29: You Had Me at MKULTRA
On this episode, cowardly Broward County Sheriff’s Deputy, Tom, and over-the-top crisis actor, V, discuss the real life dangers of the United States’ favorite alphabet agency, the Central Intelligence Agency, and their darkest project that we know of: MKULTRA. Tom shoots himself in the foot with the heart attack gun and V shacks up with an LSD-dosing hooker in a shady San Francisco hotel room. Join the boys as they REDACTED in the REDACTED with their REDACTED and REDACTED penises.
97 minutes | Dec 17, 2019
Episode 28: You Had Me at Dave Outlandish
On this episode, fan of the Hellboy reboot, Tom, and fan of the original Hellboy, V, are joined by the guy who summons real Hellboys, Dave Outlandish, for his lecture entitled “A Non-Mystical Methodology for Modeling the Paranormal Experience.” Tom exposes his tiny vocabulary, V penetrates some spheres, and Dave sets out on a mission to fight God.
114 minutes | Nov 1, 2019
You Halloween Bigfoot 2019
On this special Halloween episode, falsely accused child murderer and dream demon, Tom, lousy swimmer and hockey mask aficionado, Mattsquatch, and criminal possessing the body of a doll, V, tell their favorite ghost stories from the years they spent investigating the paranormal. Tom competes in a race against blood alcohol content, Mattsquatch has an existential crisis over the time Bigfoot let him live, and V books a trip to the Paris Catacombs.
99 minutes | Oct 28, 2019
Episode 27: You Had Me at Deep State
On this episode, Tom and Ryan, victims of the Clinton Body Count (numbers 23 and 48 respectively), are left high and dry by all other members of the team to talk about an issue that will inevitably result in their suicide by two gunshot wounds to the back of the head: The Deep State. Tom half-assedly describes the most notable political hit jobs over the last few decades and Ryan explains why you should always wear a rubber when dealing with desert women.
102 minutes | Oct 21, 2019
Episode 26: You Had Me at Dogman
In this episode, bird watching pervert, Tom, and the volunteer neighborhood watch official who catches him peeping, Ryan, are joined by the naked lady being spied on through the second story window, Mattsquatch, who explains what the dogman is and how big his theoretical penis could be. Tom shares the story of how he hoaxed sexually assaulting the Beast of Bray Road, Ryan realizes he might need a were-toupée, and Mattsquatch gives tips on manscaping.
129 minutes | Oct 15, 2019
Episode 25: You Had Me at Death and Dying
In this episode, county coroner, Tom, unlicensed medical examiner, Dustin, and the re-animated body of a John Doe homeless man, Mattsquatch, explain the proper way to please your deceased boyfriend. Mattsquatch is reincarnated as a Bavarian king, Tom ejaculates post-mortem, and Dustin makes a pass at a liquified corpse.
104 minutes | Sep 24, 2019
Episode 23: You Had Me at Spectral Assault
In this episode, planet-conquering warlord, Tom, is joined by OT Level 40 Scientologist, V, and the warden of the prison housing Xenu, Mattsquatch, as they discuss the proper way to court a ghost and go all the way on the first date. All three are added to the Spectral Offender Registry and contract venereal disease from a weak-handed handy jay.
119 minutes | Sep 17, 2019
Episode 22: You Had Me at Astral Projection
In this episode, conqueror of The Further, Tom, and spirit realm voyeur, Dustin, discuss all the ethically questionable things your disembodied spirit can do while separated from your body. Tom rants about Stephen King for the 47th time, and Dustin describes how far he’s willing to go with his own clone. His answer may surprise you but probably wont.
116 minutes | Sep 11, 2019
Episode 21: You Had Me at Epstein
In this episode, Republican Senator from Arizona, Tom, and former Democrat Speaker of the House, Fetusberry Crunch, are joined by Green Party Presidential Candidate, Ryan, to talk about the conspiracy surrounding the supposed death of Jeffrey Epstein. This fictional political quorum comes together to shed light on the controversy and bash beloved television programs like Law and Order, CSI, Criminal Minds, and NCIS. Note: None of the men on this program are suicidal, and all three are in exceptionally good health. If something should happen to any of them, investigate thoroughly, and delete their internet browser history.
117 minutes | Mar 9, 2019
Episode 20: You Had Me at Summoning Demons
In this packed house episode, fattest heavyweight champion of the world, Tom, and donkey show promotor, Dustin, are joined, as always, by skinny jeans wearer, Jim, and the only man to ever see Bigfoot with an erection, Mattsquatch, to talk about how to summon a demon. No show about summoning demons would be complete without everyone’s favorite Hell raiser, Dave Outlandish. Dave teaches the crew how to throw a party fit for a demon, and Jamus sings some songs rhyming demon with semen.
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