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It’s been a scary year, so we returned to the loving embrace of Our Lady Nora Roberts. Even though her 1992 novel Divine Evil is about a Satanic cult, we still felt safe in the small town of Emmitsboro, especially with our returning guest, Christine. Listen to this podcast on the long drive back to your charming hometown from the Big City. Content warning: This book contains sexual assault, murder, and potential suicide. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: You’re Wrong About: The Satanic Panic You’re Wrong About Book Club: Michelle Remembers American Hysteria: The Satanic Panic Coming up next: Didn’t See That Coming by Rachel Hollis.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

  We teamed up with Anna and Alene of the Bellwether Friends again! We reconvened the Worst Best Friends to discuss the important topic of Bridgerton. Not the Netflix series, but one of the books that inspired it–The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. Unfortunately, the book is neither as horny nor as diverse as the series, but we persevered. Listen to this episode to drown out the sound of your seven siblings squabbling! Announcement: Worst Bestsellers is doing a live virtual show hosted by Porter Square Books with special guest Margaret H. Willison! It will be Wednesday, March 31st at 8PM ET. And it’s free! Sign up here. Content warning: This book contains child abuse and dubious sexual consent. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “Bridgerton‘s Controversial Sex Scene Needs a Trigger Warning” by McKenzie Jean-Philippe “Bridgerton Has a Lot to Learn About Consent, and So Does Everyone Else” by Princess Weekes “Phoebe Dynevor Responded to All the People Talking About Her Neck on Bridgerton” by Elizabeth Logan “How Bridgerton Officially Became Netflix’s Biggest Hit Ever” by Joanna Robinson Coming up next: Divine Evil by Nora Roberts.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Announcement: On Wednesday, March 31st at 8PM Eastern, we’ll be doing a virtual live show presented by Porter Square Books! Our very special guest Margaret H. Willison will join us to discuss Didn’t See That Coming by Rachel Hollis (aka Girl, Wash Your Divorce). The event is free and will be recorded and archived if you can’t make it on the 31st. Register here!  

  Remember the Left Behind series? Did you know it also had a middle grade spinoff series about what would happen to the ungodly children who were left behind when their parents were Raptured? Well: it did, and we read book #1, The Vanishings by Jerry B. Jenkins & Tim LaHaye, along with our sisters in our cult club, Ashley and Grace. Listen now if you want to be saved! Announcement: Worst Bestsellers is doing a live virtual show hosted by Porter Square Books with special guest Margaret H. Willison! It will be Wednesday, March 31st at 8PM ET. And it’s free! Sign up here. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Parcast Cults podcast American Hysteria podcast Oh No Ross and Carrie podcast “The Trials of the Tribulation” by Michael Joseph Gross “Let’s Punk the Rapture” by Mat Honan Coming up next: The Duke & I (Bridgerton) by Julia Quinn.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

  You’re not dreaming–we did read a bestseller that’s widely considered to be “good,” The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler. We teamed up with Amanda and Geoffrey from the podcast Dirt Cheap to investigate: is it actually a good book? Who is the murderer? Where can a guy find some good pornographic material in this town? Listen to this episode on your next stakeout! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Dirt Cheap  Wolverine: The Long Night podcast Coming up next: The Vanishings (Left Behind: The Kids #1) by Jerry B. Jenkins & Tim LaHaye.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’re back from our hiatus! We spent the off-season training hard so we’d be better at *checks notes* Exy, the cool co-ed sport favored by characters in The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic. We were joined by Rachel and Adrienne of the podcast After Adult to read the first novel by this self-published superstar. Listen to this episode while doing your fake sports warmups. Good hustle! Content warnings: This book contains child abuse, sexual assault, stigmatization of mental health care, and violence. Our discussion of it touches on these topics though not in graphic detail. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: After Adult: Talking Fanfic with Worst Bestsellers Fanfiction 101 “Sports-Themed Queer YA Series an Indie Hit” by Jennifer McCartney Boys In Our Books Q&A With Nora Sakavic The Foxhole Court on Smashwords Candy pairing: Adrienne says Japanese rice cracker candy, Kait says Raven’s Revenge, Rachel says candy cigarettes, Renata says a candy prepared by Bitterblue’s Graced chef for her nemesis. Coming up next: The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

In more precedented years, we’ve picked our favorite and least favorite books that we read each year outside of the podcast. But in 2020, we were too busy just trying to get through the year to do much recreational reading. Instead,  Kait and Renata convened to discuss the top ten things that helped each of them make it through this year. Tune in to hear us discuss all of these things, and keep reading to see links and pictures! Note: after this episode, we’re taking a short hiatus to attempt to recover from 2020. We’ll be back in February 2021! Kait’s Top Ten 2020 All-Stars 10) Gem painting  PaintGem Paint With Diamonds 9) Blackbird Doughnuts 8) Stardew Valley Who Is The Most Eligible Bachelor in Stardew Valley? 7) Jackbox Games Trivia Murder Party Tee-KO Drawful Quiplash 6) Murder shows My Favorite Murder Unsolved Mysteries Vanity Fair Confidential People Magazine Investigates Law and Order: Criminal Intent Criminal Minds 5) The Magnus Archives AO3 works in Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives) 4) Animal Crossing ‘Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ Is the Game We All Need Right Now Why Animal Crossing Is the Game for the Coronavirus Moment 3) Barclay/Indrid AO3 works in Barclay/Indrid Cold (The Adventure Zone) grace coming out of the void The Adventure Zone: Amnesty Why My TAZ Amnesty Ship is Superior to Griffin’s 2) The McElroys The Empty Bowl Sawbones MBaMBaM Animations 1) My nephew   Renata’s Top Ten 2020 All-Stars 10) Old Wii Fitness games Gold’s Gym Cardio Workout Just Dance 2 Get Fit With Mel B 9) Baby Yoda Werner Herzog Was Brought to Tears by Baby Yoda 8) Lady pop stars Taylor Swift – Folklore (and Evermore!) Kesha – High Road Lady Gaga – Chromatica Ariana Grande – Positions 7) Snail mail 6) Who Weekly 5) The Golden Girls Why Gay Men Still Love “The Golden Girls” 4) Greb Comics 3) DC Comics shows Legends of Tomorrow CW Hire Me To Promote Your Shows Please Chosen One Of The Day: Beebo, Your Lord And Master How Legends of Tomorrow Is Subverting Toxic Masculinity At Every Turn Harley Quinn Harley Quinn EPs Talk The Evolution of HarlIvy and Plans For Season 3 Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are Finally Getting the On-Screen Romance They Deserve in DC Universe’s Animated Series Gotham Did you know you can get anything on a yard sign 😷 pic.twitter.com/2ljfxH8PAs — Renata Sancken (@renatasnacks) August 20, 2020 The Harley Quinn show reading its target comic book bro fandom for absolute filth. pic.twitter.com/OQrwEyA0T7 — Huck! The Herald Angels Sing! (@TylerHuckabee) February 22, 2020 2) Animal Crossing 1) Animals generally, Duarte specifically Bodega Cats of Instagram RuPaw’s Drag Race Gary the Cat Kitten Academy Manggo the Cat Cincinnati Zoo (feat Fiona the Hippo) Baby Chip and Mama Latke Possum Every Hour And every Best Listener who’s shared pictures of their pets listening to Duarte’s Corner 😻 PS: my Top Ten Best Books of 2020 are on the blog!

  Per the request of our wonderful Patreon patrons, our editor Becca joined us to discuss the anti-drug cautionary tale Go Ask Alice by Anonymous (aka Beatrice Sparks). Reading it in 2020, we’re not sure what’s harder to believe: that this ever deterred anyone from using drugs, or that anyone ever believed it was actually the diary of a human teenager. We’re grateful to our patrons for supporting us, and just as grateful that we’ve never been invited to any parties where someone slipped LSD into our soda. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Paul F. Tompkins – “Go Ask Alice” “Lines From Go Ask Alice That, In Hindsight, Should Have Tipped Me Off That This Was Not A True Story” by Daniel Lavery “The Book That Defined My Teen Anxiety Turned Out to Be a Lie” by Sloane Tanen “A Queer Reading of Go Ask Alice” by Frankie Thomas Amazon review of Go Ask Alice by the author of Drugs Make You Un-Smarter Candy pairing: Becca says any candy that isn’t secretly acid, Kait says pot gummies, Renata says orange yeast rolls. Coming up next: Bests of 2020.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Like a newborn vampire, we’re always thirsty for more supernatural teen drama around here. We turned to a finely-aged vintage, The Awakening (Vampire Diaries #1) by L. J. Smith, and we were thrilled to be joined by Lily Sparks (@lilyroro), author of non-vampire, but still high stakes, YA novel Teen Killers Club. Join us as we extoll all the ways L. J. Smith’s teen vampires are cooler than Stephenie Meyer’s teen vampires, including the best take on a love triangle we’ve ever seen in our storied history. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Carmilla (YouTube series) “Italy’s annual calcio storico tournament — part football, part MMA — is a brutal sight to behold” by Paolo Bandini Candy pairing: Kait says Hershey’s Special Dark Kisses, Lily says a vanished spicy-sour candy of her youth, Renata says mini Milky Way Midnights. Coming up next: Go Ask Alice by Anonymous.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We read a semi-fictional, semi-self-published, completely bonkers book about the inner workings of the reality show Model Muse which is, of course, legally distinct from the long-running reality show America’s Next Top Model. Bestselling author and ANTM superfan Mackenzi Lee joined us to discuss The Wig, The Bitch, And The Meltdown by Jay Manuel. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 161.5 – Extra Video Footage of Kait, Renata, and Mackenzi discussing The Wig, The Bitch, And The Meltdown “The real reason Jay Manuel from ‘ANTM’ made his debut novel fiction, not a memoir” by KC Ifeanyi “Jay Manuel’s Truth is Out There” by Rich Juzwiak “Jay Manuel’s satirical ‘America’s Next Top Model’ novel angers Tyra Banks’ by Carlos Greer “Tyra Banks Was ‘Hurt’ After Hearing About Jay Manuel’s Novel Inspired by ‘America’s Next Top Model’” by Meredith Nardino “The 15 Craziest Tyra Banks Moments on America’s Next Top Model” by Kelsea Stahler “The real reason why Jay Manuel left America’s Next Top Model” by Brent Furdyk ‘Tyra Banks Wouldn’t Have Made It If Her Mom Didn’t Support Her Booty in ‘Any Shape or Form'” by Stephanie Eckardt Coming up next: The Awakening (Vampire Diaries #1) by L.J. Smith.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.) Audio Player

It’s spooky season, so we revisited a classic of our childhoods: Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn. It was a nice change of pace to read a competently-written book, so we had to spend most of our time raging against the poor parenting on display in this book. Our guest Rebecca Mahoney (@cafecliche)’s debut novel, The Valley and the Flood, comes out in February 2021, so listen to this episode while pre-ordering your copy! PS: Sorry for some extra sound issues on this episode. It was a ghost probably? Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Wait Till Helen Comes movie trailer Candy Pairing:  Kait says a candy apple, Rebecca says Tootsie Roll pops, Renata says sour apple Jolly Ranchers. Coming up next: The Wig, The Bitch, and The Meltdown by Jay Manuel.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We read The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking For Love on Reality TV by Colton Underwood with our special guest Rebecca Kim Wells (@RebeccaWriting), Bachelor fan and the author of Shatter The Sky and Storm The Earth. If you didn’t already know (or guess from the title), Colton was a contestant on The Bachelorette and later a Bachelor who famously told the world via reality television that he was a 26-year-old virgin. Colton brought a lot of baggage to the Bachelor mansion so we have much to unpack! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 04 – I Didn’t Come Here To Make Friends Episode 04.5 – I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends, Part 2 All The Pretty Pandas “Cassie Randolph Says COVID-19 Had ‘Nothing to Do with’ Colton Underwood Split” by Robyn Merrett “Colton Underwood Denies Cassie Randolph’s Accusations That the Former Bachelor Is Trying to ‘Monetize’ Their Split” by Sarah Hearon “Bachelor’s Colton Underwood Explains Where He Stands With Ex Cassie Randolph, the Truth About the New Chapter” by Johnni Macke “Cassie Randolph Files for Restraining Order Against Colton Underwood 3 Months After Split” by Erin Crabtree “Meet Alex Dillon, the Boston woman who dressed as a sloth on ‘The Bachelor’” by Kevin Slane “The 15 Best Looks From Colton’s ‘The Bachelor’ Season Premiere Are So Damn Cute” by Theresa Massony Candy Pairing:  Kait says fundraiser candy for a football team, Rebecca says Three Musketeers, Renata says the cherry on top of a Steak N Shake milkshake. Coming up next: Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

There’s a lot that’s bad about 2020, but hey, we’ve made it to our 6th anniversary! We are feeling extremely #blessed that Stephenie Meyer saw fit to release Midnight Sun just in time for this momentous occasion. Even so, we indulged in some day drinking with our very first guest Carrie to get through this book. We’re planning to record a sober Q&A follow-up episode, so if you have questions about the book that were left unanswered by our tangent-filled episode, please email them to us at worstbestsellers at gmail dot com. Thanks for listening to us for six years (?!) Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes:  In a small effort to give back to the real people whose culture Stephenie Meyer appropriated as part of her saga, we donated $76.98 out of our @Patreon funds, the amount we spent on 3 copies of MIDNIGHT SUN, to the Quileute Tribal Council’s fund. https://t.co/ktT2ylkhkJ pic.twitter.com/jyBpvdYNmn — Worst Bestsellers (@worstbestseller) August 14, 2020 Quileute Move to Higher Ground Worst Bestsellers Drinking Game Episode 133 – The Host Episode 107 – 4th Anniversary Twilight Spectacular Episode 82 – Breaking Dawn Episode 40 – Twilight Life and Death Episode 31 – New Moon Episode 01 – Twilight Griffin and David Present The Phantom Podcast The Batman Teaser Trailer Team Alice Fanart Candy Pairing:  Carrie says candy corn pumpkins, Kait says Twilight-branded Sweethearts, Renata says green apple Skittles. Coming up next: The First Time by Colton Underwood.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)    

Think of the saddest thing you can imagine. No, sadder. Make it fifty times sadder. Okay, you are in the vicinity of comprehending the levels of tragedy porn Wally Lamb has packed into his novel I Know This Much Is True. Because life in 2020 wasn’t already sad enough, and because some of us love Mark Ruffalo, we brought Arielle back to discuss this peak 90s Oprah’s Book Club pick. Content warnings for just about every imaginable potential trigger. We are serious! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “‘This will happen’: Mark Ruffalo moved mountains to make HBO’s new Emmy hopeful” by Meredith Blake “Why I Almost Stopped Watching ‘I Know This Much Is True’ After the First Episode” by Rebecca Chamaa Oprah’s Book Club: The Complete List Candy Pairing:  Arielle says Torrone, Kait says your favorite candy that’s been stomped into the dirt, Renata says generic fundraiser candy. Coming up next: Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Did you ever wonder what Special Agent Dana Scully was like as a teenager? Did you assume she was probably really into taking classes at her small town’s extremely popular New Age shop? No? Well, she was, and meanwhile also the government was doing some kind of shadowy experiments with unknown goals. That’s according to The X-Files Origins: Devil’s Advocate, an X-Files YA prequel novel by Jonathan Maberry. We’re confused as to why this book was published in 2017, but since it was, we read it with Kait’s True Believer cousin, writer Nicole DeGennaro. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “X-Files Origins: Inside The Mind of Young Fox Mulder With Author Kami Garcia” by Chris Longo “X-Files Origins: Author Jonathan Maberry on Young Dana Scully’s Path To Belief” by Chris Longo The Montauk Project on Wikipedia The Adventure Zone: Amnesty This chocolate-covered Brussels sprouts prank is pure evil genius Fanfiction 101 Candy Pairing:  Kait says some dirt, Nicole says Mit-Mats (knock off Kit-Kats), Renata says carob chip cookies. Coming up next: I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Flashback Summer 2020 draws to an end with a return to the 90s, which contains within it a return to the 1940s. Our mysterious guest M joined us to read Ground Zero by Kevin J. Anderson, an X-Files tie-in novel. Come along with us on an X-File unbound by the production costs of a weekly television show, as Mulder and Scully suddenly gain the jurisdiction to investigate nuclear ghosts in glamorous locations like Hawaii, the Marshall Islands, and New Mexico. Be advised, it’s going to take awhile to download this episode over the dialup connection from your clunky government-issue laptop. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “How the Owl Bar’s Green Chile Cheeseburgers Fueled the Atom Bomb Scientists” by Robyn Lee Fanfiction 101 Candy Pairing:  Kait says Dunkaroos, M says malted milk balls, Renata says sunflower seeds. Coming up next: The X-Files Origins: Devil’s Advocate by Jonathan Maberry.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

In an extremely exciting Flashback Summer, we were joined by S. Jae-Jones (aka JJ, aka the New York Times-bestselling author of Wintersong and Shadowsong) to read Redwall by Brian Jacques! Well, it was exciting to talk to JJ. The book itself was…less exciting, although it did raise some questions about how the food chain works in the world of Redwall. Listen on your next journey by horse cart–quickly, before horses get redacted! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Redwall FAQ Definitive Redwall Body Count A Complete Redwall Feast Adapted For Your Kitchen Overdue #307 – Redwall XKCD #370 – Redwall Candy Pairing:  JJ says candied chestnuts, Kait says trail mix,  Renata says #herbs. Coming up next: The X-Files: Ground Zero by Kevin J. Anderson.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Maybe it would be easier to practice social distancing if you knew that someone could literally freeze you solid with a single touch? It’s a theory worth exploring, as our pandemic edition of Flashback Summer continues with Freeze Tag, a Point Horror title by the 90s queen of teen thrillers, Caroline B. Cooney. With our guest Trina (@TrinaMareena) we dug into the story of the ultimate ice queen, and made an important stop along the way to discuss the relative fanciness of Pizza Hut. Stay frosty! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “Point Horror: 25 years on, let us praise a forgotten ’90s craze” by Beth Rodgers “HBO Max to Develop Anthology Series Based on ‘Point Horror’ Books” by Joe Otterson Don’t Point That Horror at Me podcast The Devil’s Elbow (Point Horror recaps) Candy Pairing:  Kait says a Popsicle, Renata says a packet of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, Trina says frozen gummy bears. Coming up next: Redwall by Brian Jacques.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Say hello to your friends! As Flashback Summer continues, we revisited the small, child-friendly town of Stoneybrook. We read Mallory and the Trouble With Twins by Ann M. Martin with returning guest Liz. Join us on a walk around the mall (remember malls?), where we discuss ear piercing, afterschool snacks, and the moral fortitude it takes to identify as a Mallory. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode #53 – Baby-Sitters Club Book Recommendations Based On Your Favorite Babysitters From The Baby-Sitters Club by Alison Doherty Robin Sparkles – Let’s All Go To the Mall Cobie Smulders – Let’s All Stay at Home The Baby-Sitters Club Is a Welcome Surprise and Utter Delight By Kathryn VanArendonk Candy Pairing:  Kait says candy buttons, Liz says a Twix, Renata says a mall pretzel. Coming up next: Freeze Tag by Caroline B. Cooney.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Flashback Summer is off to the races! Well, kind of. We eventually got to the races after a long slog through the wilderness. We read The Black Stallion Revolts by Walter Farley with returning guest Carrie. It’s the classic story … Continue reading →