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Can Aaron run a marathon? Is Alex an Empath? Do either of us have an accurate conception of what we’re capable of? The answers to all of these are no, but you can listen to us anyway as we make arguments for our toxic traits.

Do you have any idea how dominant Joey Chestnut is in the world of competitive eating? Do you understand how much training it takes to reach his level of performance? Well strap in, because you're about to learn all about it. Oh, also we talk nut dragging. That too.

Saying babies are cute is all fine and good. Saying that's the cutest baby you've ever seen? Now that opens up a whole can of worms implying a scale of comparatively uglier babies. We don't think the world is ready for that just yet.

TV show pitch: cop procedural drama, the Bronx, NYC. Word around the precinct is that the old timer, Alex, has a real knack for solving any crime put across his desk. The kicker? He has to lick the entire crime scene head to toe. It's called: Devious Lick.

Has anyone considered that the founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, not as a foundation of democracy, but simply because they were a bunch of earth signs in a silly goofy mood?

You read that right. Mayochup. Yes, it's a licensed combination of mayo and ketchup. Perhaps this has always been the darkest timeline.

Fun fact: 8 mile is actually the first movie in a time traveling franchise where a rapping cow decides that present day rappers just aren't cutting it and he needs to rap battle historical figures. Yes, Eminem is still in it, but it's not about him. Yes, we will be taking questions.

We're finally back! After a bit of a break, we jump right back into the craziness that you all know and love. We cover Remy Buxaplenty, conspiracy theories, Nickelback, and much more!

So we were going to focus on world issues and developmental psych, but instead we discussed minimalist swim attire, hard facts about the sexual preferences of dinosaurs, the Chick-fil-A sauce shortage (aka Biden’s America), a compelling theory on Jojo Siwa’s origins, being named Doug, and how to evolve into Charizard. Hell, we started with a mini crossword for crying out loud. If that doesn’t scream “Wild Episode”, we don’t know what would.

Part 2 of our 50th episode special! To show our appreciation, we've invited onto the show even more friends who've supported us and our silly podcast. If you haven't seen Part 1, why are you here? Go check it out. Today we talked with Ben, James, Anthony, then Ally about car cancel culture, harrowing experiences, popcorn apologies, and hypothetical 3rd graders.

It's Part 1 of our 50th episode special! To show our appreciation, we've invited onto the show some of our friends who've supported us and our silly podcast. Today we talked with Abe, Bernadette, Alon, then J Elizabeth about unexpected things in unexpected places, first dates, sour cream, and an infinite chicken glitch.

Aaron has learned a lot about life in the past year or so - he's proud of the knowledge (like where Florida is and when colors were invented) and is eager to share.

Conspiracy Theory of the Day: Songs About Jane was actually about Ellen DeGeneres and no Maroon 5 album has been as good as Songs About Jane because Ellen has been sabotaging every release. Yes, we did come up with this from her brief inclusion in a Maroon 5 music video. No, we will not be taking any questions.

They say that when you’re on your deathbed and your time has come to pass over to the next life, your eyes slowly begin to close as your soul leaves your body. In some cases, your last thoughts may be that you smell the sweet scent of ribs and hear the undeniable sizzle of burgers somewhere close by. So ask yourself, are you spending your time on earth well enough to be invited to God’s Kickback?

Today we're talking bad dates, and boy have we been on a few. Some were just tough circumstances, but most were completely and undeniably our fault. On God: our bad. But hey, everyone's been there too--right? right??

The books you enjoyed in middle school says a lot about your personality. Keep in mind that there are wrong answers *cough* Divergent *cough*

We'll just be straight up. If God's text messages come in green, then they don't deserve your prayers. Simple as that. What? Are you going to devote your eternal soul to and Android user? Didn't think so.

Can a frog ride a bike? Can the department store staples be classified as "Big Staple?" Why are UK military officials so concerned with Americans bowling? What is the most efficient eating utensil? All of these question addressed, none directly answered!

There's two types of people in this world: you're either the mugger or the muggee, and frankly, we're not trying to get mugged any time soon.

A new Olympic event. 2 doctors. The same heart surgery operation. Head to head. The crowd goes wild. The commentary is off the rails. The stakes have never been higher. Before you ask: yes, the doctors do have to be dentists. No, we won't explain further.