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Have you heard the news? Updates to a few recent episodes. Recorded in the background of our new place in San Leandro New Support Good And Bad

moving to san leandro After two of my friends message me I realize that with my move to San Leandro, my support group will evolve. Which I manage not to mention in the episode, is totally scary! I recorded most of the episode in the backyard, mostly off-the-cuff. The audio track features airplanes and windchimes. STAY TUNED for extended shout-outs.

We son some awards. Bad news first: the kids are bad, they run away. Hoppin Hot Sauce won some awards. We’re still buying a house. This week’s episode takes place in a cable car.

Both What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast SETTING: Shopping Mall, Spooky Castle, “Run In The Wild” by Hot Mops. The BAD: Trigeminal Neuralgia came back. The GOOD: Our offer was accepted, and we’ll purchase a home in San Leandro. I’m the rare disabled person who will own their home. Halloween is coming. BEGIN TRANSCRIPT JOHN HOPPIN: What’s the Matter With Me? What’s up? You are tuned into the What’s the Matter With Me? Podcast. It’s the real deal. This is it. I’m inside. I’m in the house. This is a new jam pumping. I made this, and put it on SoundCloud. It’s called Run in the Wild. I can’t run anywhere. I don’t really have a business making a running song, but I did it anyway. And it’s kind of pointless and meandering, but I made it to relieve stress. That’s how I make this music, and it’s kind of stressed out music. sound of a shopping mall Anyway, let’s go into a shopping mall. Man, good to get out of that stressful music scene, and into the shopping mall. Remember going to the shopping mall? We can’t do that, I guess, or we don’t, or maybe people are going, who knows? I’m not going to the shopping mall, I’ll tell you that, even though my doctor said I could maybe survive Coronavirus. Fundamentally, he’s like, “You aren’t at greater risk for hospitalization. In other words, maybe you’ll survive.” It’s the season. Let’s get spooky. Let’s get spooky. spooky music plays Yeah. All right. Well, it’s that time. In our family, no one’s giving candy, really. It’s a bummer. Halloween is a bummer for the kids, for sure. moaning ghoul Man, that guy was bummed. All those people, they’re bummed out. Anyway, I have good and bad news. That’s what this episode is all about. Things are good and bad. It’s spooky, but it’s good and bad. It’s a mixed bag. A spooky mixed bag. Okay, so I’ve been trying to update this podcast and record a new episode every week. I just want to record more, but the reason why I couldn’t record an episode is I have had a relapse of trigeminal neuralgia, again. They’ve performed surgery on me. They’ve been inside my cranium with micro machines, doing things twice now, and it came back again. In January is when I had my surgery, or February, my second surgery. And at that time, one of the hardest things was not being personally crushed during the relapse of trigeminal neuralgia, because of how much work I’ve put in to get away from it. And it’s still here, shocking me. Thor’s lightning bolt is shocking me in the face. spooky sounds Ooh, spooky, bad. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t eat. I’ve eaten a liquid dinner for the last three nights. And then before that I couldn’t eat anything. I didn’t brush my teeth that night. Come on, I want to brush my teeth. Personally crushing. I got in touch with my doctor. I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday, and the doctor said, “Hey, why don’t you switch your medication? You’re on the second line medication, really for no reason.” So I did that. And the last time I felt any pain was five in the morning, this morning. And it was very slight, it was just a little, which is still a lot. It still hurt like these people. I felt like them. demonic laughter. I mean, that guy’s laughing about it. I didn’t feel like laughing about it. But anyhow, I went to the doctor, switched the medication, and that seems like it’s doing the trick. And it’s not the same as it was before the operation. It’s lower. It’s a three or a two, if before it was a 10. So the pain is different, but it’s still just very intense. And it was crushing to have it come back, right? So that is the bad, but it is on a good foot. It’s going somewhere. I ate oatmeal for breakfast. Last night, they had split pea soup. I wanted to have polenta and mushrooms. I think I could take down some polenta and mushrooms. My mom made shepherd’s pie. And I ate it and it hurt pretty Bad, but it wasn’t awful. And it tasted very good. Okay. So that is the bad stuff, right? That’s all the bad. I had a relapse of trigeminal neuralgia. It’s kind of wrapping up now, but check this out: two weekends ago, I made an offer on a house in San Leandro, and it was accepted. So for the first time in my 41 years, I mean, just in the first time in forever and a half, I’m going to own a home. I’m a first-time homeowner. My wife and I will have a house and that is so rad. And our kids are going to get their own rooms. And it’s this major thing in my life. And I feel really grateful because I’m super lucky. Disabled people like me often can’t have their own home for a variety of reasons. I’m super lucky. So I have to count my blessings on that. Something’s coming. spooky heartbeat Oh, no. Well, Halloween is coming, the good and the bad. I’m going to live in the house that I own. No more landlords. And these people won’t be there, I don’t think. It’s just Halloween stuff. What is that guy laughing about? Anyway, there’s good and the bad. Thanks for tuning into the What’s the Matter With Me? Podcast. My name is John, I’m 41 years old, 42, who even knows? I’m a husband, father, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster. I have MS and trigeminal neuralgia, and I made this podcast to share what I’m going through, and it gets spooky. Let’s go back to the shopping mall, right? Kind of miss the mall. Anyway, you can find all the episodes of the What’s the Matter With Me? Podcast on whatsthematterwithme.org on Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts. And you can tell that so-called smart speaker to shove it. And then you can be like, “Hey, whatever your name is, play the What’s the Matter With Me? Podcast.” It won’t take it personally. You can tell it to shove it, it’ll be fine. All right. See you next time. What’s the Matter With Me? Things are good and bad. Thank you for tuning in.

I got my computer back from the shop, and I’m back up and running again Shout-outs to Etan Rechra I made some production work for KFJC, featuring my buddy Jack Tar JOHN HOPPIN: All right, what’s up? Thank you for tuning in to What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Let me find my notes. It’s good when you have notes. When you make a podcast, you want to put together some notes ahead of the time. Or not, I guess. To each his own, or her own. I think that’s what qualifies as a meandering introduction. Thank you for tuning in to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. My name is John. I’m 41 years old. Husband, a father of two, small business owner, review, DJ, podcaster, and I have Multiple Sclerosis. So, I made this podcast to share what I’m going through. Thanks for tuning in. Past episodes can be found on Apple podcasts, at whatsthematterwithme .org and wherever you want to listen to podcasts. What’s The Matter With Me? is there. I might put myself somewhere. Somewhere peaceful or by a road or in a machine shop or somewhere else even. In the middle of the ocean. I have no idea. I’ve been putting myself somewhere. I don’t have to this time because I got my computer fixed. Thank goodness. Thank goodness. I got my computer fixed. The power button was broken. John-John, my son, got upset. He smashed on the power button. I was, “Stop playing ROBLOX. Turn that off. It’s time to take a bath.” And, he was like, “Aaaah.” He was all grunon. Grunon is grumpy in Spanish. So, it’s a vocabulary word because El Trol is muy grunon. He lives under the bridge, which is called el puente. These are all my Spanish vocab words right now for second grade. The three little pigs and los tres cerditos lopez. I’m not a native Spanish speaker although I speak Spanish as much as I can. But, my son is in dual language Spanish immersion. Anyway, I was, “Turn off that ROBLOX.” And, he was, “Argh!” He was being grunon. Really grunon and he punched on the power button. And, then the thing never turned on again. The guy at the… The computer guy, I’ve got to give him a shout out with his name, man. I already gave him a shout out, but I’ll give him another one, man. Michael Lopez was Super Tech Geek. That’s his name. Super Tech Geek. Look him up, he’s on Google or with the internet. My Super Tech Geek, Michael Lopez. He’s in downtown San Jose. He fixes my computer and this was the second one I brought to him, man. I was concerned that he was going to die of coronavirus and have my computer and I wouldn’t be able to get it back. So, I will warn you, getting computer repair right now will stress you out. You will worry for the health of the computer repair man. You’re like, “I wanted to repair my computer, but I hope he’s not in the computer repair shop too often. I hope he hasn’t seen too many people, even though a lot of people are home and trying to get the computer working for the Zoom or whatever.” Super Tech Geek fixed my stuff. It turns on, so now I’m recording on my regular microphone, my regular way. I don’t actually have to use this sound bed. I don’t know if I’ll use one, that’s some suspense. You’ll see. I’ll probably put a sound effect. Let me get another sound effect. I liked that last time. Here, sound effects. sound effect What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast has a Facebook page. Anyhow, I’ve written on it, “Reply to this post and I’ll give you a shout out in the next episode of What’s The Matter With Me?” And, I think it was a couple episodes ago if I’m honest and so I’m a little bit of a lying slacker. Now, I’m not certain, this is not a real name because it’s Nate Archer backwards, but a thing called Etan Rehcra put, “Keep up the good work.” So, shout out to you, Etan. Etan, that’s what we can all hope in life to be doing. Eat, sun, water. Etan Rehcra. Shout outs. All right, go ahead and get your computer fixed and check out my Facebook page, I guess. Last time I was talking about how my doctor told me, that I personally am not at increased risk for hospitalization from COVID-19. And, that was kind of a relief. So, something I’ve been talking about, my family is all in my bubble, I guess. So, I have to discuss every plan with them, and something I was talking about is returning to the air on KFJC. And, I talked to with Ras Babo who is the fill-in coordinator. He’s in charge of making sure all the air is full and people are DJing. Because of coronavirus, Foothill College has special protocols. I think it’s closed. I have to be on a list, I’m thinking about returning to the airwaves, but I’m now on the list. I think it’s kind of imminent. The other day I was listening on Tuesday and it’s the Blues Collective on Tuesday. It’s fundraiser time and we’d been talking about that. I often host the Blues Collective on Tuesday afternoon. In normal times I often will join my buddy Jack Tar. And, he’s kind of an older guy. He’s older than my parents. He’s just old as hell and I love hanging out with him. It’s so good to hang out with somebody who’s from a totally different place and time. He’s from San Francisco in 1974, I think. That’s when he was shining. That’s his perspective. We hang out, we’re both into blues, we talk about blues records and play them. It’s cool to hang out with somebody and get a different perspective than my friends or my family provides. So, that’s one of the cool things. He’s often dallying; his brain is addled. I mean, seriously! He was on the Blues Collective and he took this break to try and tell people to call in and it veered all these different ways. It’s totally weird. I recorded it off the radio and then I kind of didn’t do much editing really. I just put a couple parts together and then I put a lot of sound effects. One of the things I did at KFJC a lot is production. And, the production manager just passed away in April. At the beginning of all of this., This guy, Roy. He was a really healthy guy, died from mad cow disease or something kind of happened totally out of nowhere and it killed him. And, he was this great guy. He was a randonneur– a long distance bicycle rider. He was a funny kind of guy. He was with his hands pockets, kind of like, “Oh, man. I don’t know..” But, he also just had this hilarious… This great smile and sense of humor. He would do a lot of the advertising at KFJC and so he would always tell me, use more sound effects. So, when you listed to the spot I made with Jack Tar, I used so many sound effects, check it out. JACK TAR: You know what time it is? Yes, you know what time it is. 11 minutes after 10. It’s 10:11 now. Oh my goodness. This is all happening. 10 minutes after 11. That’s right, that’s right. You got it. It’s fundraiser time. Here at KFJC, we only do this once a year, and we try have some fun with it, and people send us lots of money and pretty soon it’s over, and everybody has a good laugh, and we got the money. Okay, so we continue on. Imagine yourself in the Count of Monte Cristo or The Three Musketeers, something by Alexandre Dumas and, what can happen next? Lots of stuff can happen next. And, you’ll just have to roll with it. Mm-hmm, that’s right, including: go to KFJC.org, find out just about how to scroll this way and that way, and donate. By now it’s 10:12. All right. So that’s the spot. It’s Jack Tar, kind of edited together, fundraiser stuff. Sorry to go on about that. But, I think I’m going to return to KFJC. I got my computer fixed and I got to use the sound effect here, so everything’s good. Thank you for tuning into the What’s The Matter With Me? podcast. Give me an email via the contact form. Send me an email, give me a shout out or hit me up on my Facebook page like Etan Rehcra. All right, man. Thanks for tuning in. You can find out everything at whatsthematterwithme.org and then you’ll be set forever. Set for life. Thank you for tuning in. Catch you next time.

Thank you for tuning in to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. It’s kind of loud outside today, so I put myself in an auto body shop Cedar Room reordered Hoppin Hot Sauce KFJC Fundraiser is happening now My telemedecine appointment was a big relief I bought some music from Sahel Sounds’ bandcamp page JOHN HOPPIN: Thank you for tuning in to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. My name is John, I’m 41 years old, husband and father of two. Small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster. And, I have multiple sclerosis, so I made this podcast to share what I’m going through. The old episodes can be found on Apple Podcasts, at whatsthematterwithme.org, wherever you listen to podcasts, it’s there. It’s loud outside today, there’s birds, there’s planes, there’s people in the yard landscaping, blowers and stuff. It’s fall and leaves are falling in the wind so things are happening. So, that means wind chimes. Yeah. So, it’s loud outside today. So, I’m going to put myself in an automotive machine shop to try and cover up the noise. It’s nice out here. It’s sunny. It’s low seventies and it’s not very smoky today. So, I’ll take it. Shout outs to Rocky. Thank you for listening, Rocky. She’s been listening since the first episodes. She was one of the people, I emailed her when I first started this, I didn’t know anything about how podcasts work. So, I just started recording things into my phone and emailing them to people. That’s episode one, check it out, it’s in the back episodes. Last time I talked about the Cedar Room in Campbell, that it was a new account for Hoppin Hot Sauce, well, they reordered and I delivered yesterday. So, shout out. I saw Louis there. Louis is the chef. He’s been my original account at Park Station Hashery. It was good to see him; it was good to see someone you know, even if they have a mask on, in the middle of the delivery. To see a friend of mine was cool. The KFJC fundraiser is going on for the whole month of October, go to KFJC.org/donate and support community adio. You get a cool t-shirt while you’re at it. Shows people you have heard of our radio station and perhaps listen to it even. I told you last time about my telemedicine appointment, it went pretty well. It was kind of weird. Of course, I went to the wrong link and there was an information technology kerfluffle and the lady, the nurse called me and was like, “Where are you?” And, I was like, “What?” I thought…” Anyway, it got figured out it was a good meeting with my doctor. Probably the most interesting thing that happened was when I asked him if I was extra susceptible to coronavirus because of my pre-existing condition of Multiple Sclerosis. You hear about it on the news people with preexisting conditions are vulnerable and I’m thinking, “Well, I have MS.” So, I was freaked out because of the medication. I know that MS is about your immune system and the medication effects that. He gave me good news though, he said that I personally, and I’m not, this is not a prescription for you. This is about me personally. Ask your doctor. He said that I personally am not at increased risk for hospitalization because the medication I take works on my B cells and that part of my immune system. But, that my T cells were not effected and those were the ones that would marshal my immune system response. So, that was a huge relief. I’ve been afraid that if I contracted coronavirus, and my immune system wouldn’t respond and I would die. And, I don’t have any big plans in mind for changing my behavior, it’s all about wash hands and wear a mask. But, that news is a relief. So, it was a good thing. I purchased some music, downloaded it and they’ll be sending me an LP as well from a thing called Sahel Sounds on Band Camp. They were having one of those pay what you will sales. So, they come out with these really interesting compilations of music that I guess they download from Saharan cell phones. I bought a compilation called music from Satharan WhatsApp. I listened to it, it’s amazing. I also bought a record of a guy, he’s from Africa playing electronic music on organ. Kind of minimal unreleased recordings from 1981 to 1984 by this dude. I was, “This is a great sound.” Sahel Sounds. It’s cool sound. So, I’m excited to have that. Anyway, thanks for listening. What’s The Matter With Me? is in there. Just tell your digital assistant to play What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast and it will do it. That is one thing they have figured out. Thank you for tuning into the What’s The Matter With Me? podcast. Catch you next time.

Tuesday Appointment KFJC fundraiser begins today My kids are with my mom and my stepdad Dave Yesterday I sent some hot sauce to a new local account I’m going to have a video meeting with my neurologist on Tuesday JOHN HOPPIN: Yes. Thank you for tuning into the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. My name is John. I’m 41 years old, a husband, father of two, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster, and I have multiple sclerosis, so I made this podcast to share what I’m going through. You probably have noticed I’ve been using sound beds, like the sounds of traffic and a fan. I’ve been using weird sounds because I’m recording all of these episodes on my phone. The power button on my computer is broken and my computer is in the shop. So I have to record this all on my phone and then I put it together on the laptop. So I’ve been putting sound beds. They’re like ambient sound beds and sound effects underneath these episodes for kind of no reason, but I hope you enjoy it. It’s kind of pleasant. It scratches some itch. Check it out. I’m going to put the sound effect right here. sound of a dog barking All right, you like that? I thought so. I’ve got a lot to talk about today. Let’s see, the KFJC fundraiser begins today. My kids are with my mom and my stepdad, Dave. Yesterday, I delivered a case of hot sauce to a new account in Campbell and I’d sent some other ones. I’m going to have a video meeting with my neurologist on Tuesday. Okay, so we got a lot to cover. Let’s get started. Thanks for tuning in to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Old episodes are on whatsthematterwithme.org and on Apple Podcasts and wherever you listen to podcasts. The KFJC fundraiser begins today. This year, I did not do a lot of vocal acting, even though I read you those scripts that I wrote. Now, other people acted them out and read them. I just read them to you to show you that I’m writing. This year I focused more on writing and I did some production. I produced a spot based on a script that I read in the last episode. Do you remember I read something about your participation is not required? Check it out. It’s in the last episode. I contacted a fellow DJ, another DJ at this station, named Phil Phactor. I contacted him and he read this script into his phone and sent it back to me just like I asked him. It’s cool, the internet power of things. So I sent him the script. He read it, he sent it back to me. It sounded good so I put him in a bowling alley, a couple of sound effects, but the bowling alley, it’s for an American Gothic vibe. So I’m going to play it now for you. HIL PHACTOR: In our society, everything is fine. We are free. We are safe. We grow and prosper and we all take part equally. Each person has a voice and none goes unheard. Leadership has our best interest in mind. The best things are the most popular. They are worth the most money. Everything is taken care of. That’s why there is absolutely no need to support a not for profit broadcast FM radio station by donating online at kfjc.org. Your participation is not required. JOHN HOPPIN: Okay, so fundraiser at KFJC is happening now. You can find all about it, kfjc.org. But I just wanted to share that with you and that’s my creative thing. So many shout outs to Phil Phactor, much love from Hemroid The Leader to Phil Phactor. My kids are at my mom’s house and my stepdad, Dave. They’re over there and they take them Fridays after school and return them Saturday after lunch. We’re all under a lot of stress right now. I’m sure you guys are the same. It’s really helpful to break up our family even if it’s just for one day a week, because I mean, we’re all on top of each other, and just one day a week with some different faces is a relief and so I’m so thankful for help from my family. So, I do things for myself. Yesterday, I delivered a case of hot sauce to a new account in Campbell called the Cedar Room. It’s like a restaurant and bar next to the movie theaters in a place called The Pruneyard. They were thinking about using it on chicken wings. That’s what the chef told me, Jeremy. I talked with him about, we spoke about how my Hoppin Hot Sauce contained smoked chiles and it was fun to talk to sell a little bit in person. That’s a rare pleasure nowadays to tell someone, “Hey, this sauce is good.” It was fun. I also shipped a couple of cases across the country to Kittery, Maine to a cool boutique store called Folk run by a friend of mine, Emilia. Kittery, Maine is across a bridge from Portsmouth, New Hampshire. I’m going to have a video meeting with my neurologist on Tuesday. I’ve come way down on pain medication and I think I’m experiencing increased spasticity as a result. My arm is all curled up at night, bent like an L and my fingers in a fist, and I’m sweating in the morning. One thing I’m doing is I’m switching my pain medication. Right now I take it all in the morning. So I’m spacing it out over the day. I’m going to take it in the morning and afternoon and bedtime. So every morning, I’m experiencing a runny nose, but like a faucet. I have to run to the bathroom and blow out like a massive clear mucus. Just maybe spacing out my medication over the day will relieve some of the spasticity in the morning because it will kind of keep me on a more measured dose and I’m excited to hear what my doctor thinks on Tuesday. He’s my MS neurologist. I do a meeting with him I think every year or every six months and it’s going to be a video telemedicine appointment. I’ve never had that before. I’m not really sure what to expect. We will see. So anyway, wish me luck with the doctor’s on Tuesday. Thanks for tuning into the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. All of the episodes can be found on Apple Podcasts, Whatsthematterwithme.org, and wherever you want to listen to podcasts, it’s in there. What’s The Matter With Me? is in there. Just tell your digital assistant to play What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast and it will do it. That’s one thing we’ve all figured out. Just tell it, play the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. You can even tell it like crazy stuff, you can go like, “Play the most recent episode,” or stuff. The thing is a computer that thinks. Oh my goodness. Thank you for tuning into the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. I’ll see you next time.

The annual fundraiser is coming up at KFJC starting at the end of the month. I’ve been recording fundraiser spots for about 6 years. my first one was about a person taking a taxi. I do one or two a year. I always enjoy writing, and every good spot starts with the script. This year, I wrote four, and I read them in this episode, along with an older one from 2016 that resonated with me. Writing these scripts has been a positive creative outlet. BEGIN TRANSCRIPT You are tuned into the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. My name is John. I’m 41 years old, husband, father of two, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster. I have multiple sclerosis, so I made this podcast to share what I’m going through. Fundraiser at KFJC, it’s coming up. I want to focus on the radio this episode, because I’ve been doing a little work with that and I want to share it. Fundraiser is coming up at KFJC at the end of September, to the end of October. I’ve been recording fundraiser spots for KFJC around this time every year for about six years. My first one was about a person taking a taxi. I do one or two every year or so, so I’ve wanted to read you some of the fundraiser scripts. Because we’re kind of distant, I haven’t been able to go into the production studio, so I’ve been producing at home. On Tuesday nights, they’ve been having these production meetings with people that basically gather on Zoom, and then we bang out some spots. I know from some experience that a really useful thing when you’re trying to make fundraiser spots is to have scripts for them. You need something to go. You can’t just make it up. I came to the meeting. I had four scripts ready and I wanted to read them to you here, so hold on a second. I’m reading my KFJC fundraiser spots, the ones that I wrote for this year on the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. On KFJC, they know me as Hemroid the Leader. Hemroid the Leader, I tell them. You are listening, you’re tuned in the KFJC. I am Hemroid the Leader. I came up with that when I was 13 or 14. In the CD, or actually I have it on cassette tape, the insert that came with the album De La Soul Is Dead, which is the second album by De La Soul, what was their hit song? Me, Myself, and I. “Just me, myself, and I.” Anyway, that was their first album. It was a big hit. Their second album was weird and strange. It was not a hit, and inside it… Although it’s totally a great album. I’d recommend De La Soul is Dead. Like a lot of albums that aren’t hits, it’s a really good album. It has in the back, they have skits. A lot of rap records at that time had skits or interludes or whatever, and the skit number five… First of all, the album was almost 30 tracks long. So right there, it’s not a hit. Check the no. Is this enough, 30 tracks? Probably none of them. You hope one. That’s so many tracks to have none of them be a hit. Anyway, on the last skit, skit number five, I think it is, five or six, Prince Paul, who’s a famous rap producer is playing the ringleader of this crew that is starring in all the skits. So it’s like a prog album, and we’re on the fifth skit with this team of guys and they get into an argument. Prince Paul says, “I’m Hemroid. I’m the leader!” And so right then when I was 14 or 15, I got my first radio show on KSCU, Santa Clara University, and I was like, “I’m Hemroid the Leader.” So when I moved back to the Bay area in 2013, 2014, started getting involved with KFJC. And I was like, “My name is Hemroid the Leader.” So this, I want to read to you, are Hemroid the Leader’s fundraiser scripts. I brought them to the meeting on Tuesday, and I was like, “Hey guys, anyone want to record these?” and they did the Zoom screen share thing. I showed the scripts, and I got all different people. I didn’t do any of the voices, which is good. I love hearing people interpret the stuff I write. But anyway, here it is. Here’s the script. I’ll read it to you now. Hold on one second. Hemroid the Leader, switch on. Have you heard of KFJC? Do you listen to KFJC? Are you listening to KFJC right now? Most of us feel that way. In fact, nine out of 12 KFJC listeners reported having heard of, listened to, or are listening to KFJC right now. You too may be listening. Donate at kfjc.org. It’s still the 20th century. The internet and Y2K and the MP3 players do not exist. There’s no guarantee that they ever will. You can still go to an occult bookstore, read a newspaper, or donate to a community radio station during a fundraiser drive. And then I put a note in here for a sound. A sound, a bunch of sounds. Sound of a record needle, slapstick comedy whistle, car crash, back to the present moment. And then a megaphone voice says, “In protest against this terrible millennium, go to kfjc.org and donate today.” Highly contagious and easily transmitted, it’s time for the KFJC fundraiser. Donate at kfjc.org. It’s as easy as being in the same room. That’s how you can get it, if you’re in the same room with someone else and you were just breathing. That’s all you were doing. You were just breathing, and someone else is in the same room and you were both breathing, especially if it’s inside, that’s how it is the easiest. If you’re in the same room together and if all you’re doing is breathing, that’s how it is done. If you’re in the same room, and you’re inside and your breathing and somebody else is there and there’s a radio playing, that’s how it happened. It’s happening to both of you. You are both listening to KFJC. Donate to kfjc.org. That is a weird, creative thing I do, and it’s cool. It raises money for my favorite radio station, KFJC. That’s kind of the weirdest radio station, which of course, I love it. It’s like flexing my creative brain to write scripts, and then to hear people performing, it’s great. Anyway, that’s just something I do. I found this old fundraiser script that I wrote in 2016, and I wanted to just read it, because it’s kind of like it resonates with me. I read it and it resonated. Maybe if you hear it, it’ll resonate with you. In our society, everything is fine. We’re free. We are safe. We grow and prosper, and we all take part equally. Each person has a voice and none goes unheard. Leadership has our best interests in mind. The best things are the most popular and they are worth the most money. Everything is taken care of. That’s why there is absolutely no need to support a not-for-profit FM radio station by calling (650) 941-6800, or donating online at kfjc.org. Your participation is not required. Thank you for tuning in to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Much love, and I’ll see you next time.

I saw the surgeon who performed my microvascular decompression surgery. I went to my Ukrainian dentist a couple of weeks ago, she is the one I called, “The Iron Curtain.”  I am not in trigeminal neuralgia pain anymore , and my life has changed for the better. Now that I can shave my face, I’ve been wearing a mustache. I am a lot happier.

Still under lockdown. Touching base with the podcast, stirring the pot. John John broke the power button on my computer so it’s at the tech support In a week it will be six months of the coronavirus shutdown Shout out to Brian and Katie Mom’s birthday today. Oysters and cake 4th week of school Backgammon The comic garage 10 comics a month 21.99 Spanish posters, letters, numbers, colors, feelings Maps of the world English motivational kindness posters about being a buddy not a bully BEGIN TRANSCRIPT JOHN HOPPIN: You are listening to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Thanks for tuning in. This is really just to touch base because I’ve been out of touch for so long. I wanted to let you know I’m still here. In a week from now, it’ll be six months of the coronavirus shutdown. I remember March 13th was John John and Koko’s last day of school in-person instruction. John John broke the power button on my computer. So it’s at the tech support guy. I used this guy in downtown San Jose. Hey Nami, what’s that guy’s name? Big Tech Geek or something? NAMI: Super Tech Geek. JOHN: Super Tech Geek! This guy supertechgeek.com. Check him out, Super Tech Geek, supertechgeek.com is his website. He’s fixing (my computer) … he’s hacking together a power button. John John broke the power button because he slammed on it in anger, when I told him to stop playing Roblox, and go take a bath. He’s like, struggling with that kind of anger management. So it’s at the tech support. It’s not a great time to have a broken computer, but I have a laptop that I can use to back it up. But, everything is all broken. And I have to do my business. It’s a significant hiccup. I want to give shout outs to Brian and Katie, definitely be sure to email me via the contact form, and I’ll give you a shout out. Thanks for listening. It’s my mom’s birthday today, and so we picked up some oysters and some cake at the supermarket. It’s John John’s fourth week of school. That’s been hard, man. No lie, but it’s hard for everyone. I’ve been trying to invest in the kids. And I really feel like I’m giving John John a lot of stuff. I don’t really know what to get Koko. I think maybe some toys or something. We have backgammon. We found it. I played that with John John. I play some Battleship sometimes. His birthday was at the end of July and I got him a subscription with a place called The Comic Garage and they send him 10 comics a month for 22 bucks. That’s pretty good. I just ordered … I wanted it to be more like school and that educational vibe around here. So I ordered on the online a bunch of Spanish posters with like bright colors and they have the letters and the numbers and your feelings and names of colors. I also got some maps of the world. I got one for Coco and one for John John. So they can look at the world and see where people are in the world. And I got some English motivational kindness posters about being a buddy and not a bully. So that’s kind of it. I’m scrambling. I have a broken computer. It’s still this shut down, uncomfortable thing. I’m trying to get John John through school, it’s working. He’s enjoying reading. The comics thing is really working. He got his first 10 comics on his birthday. And then now a month later, he’s got his second 10 comics. And they came through and he was still stoked and into it. And I hope that the bright colored laminated posters and maps I got will remind the kids of school and make them happy. And that’s kind of all I have to share right now. I’m just trying to stay in touch. People are ordering hot sauce. So, that is busy. Hot sauce is no joke. If you sell a food item thata people can order on the internet, they want it, right now. So, that’s good. I’m thankful for that. A lot of good stuff is going on and the kids are learning and I hope it’s not horrible for everyone. I think it’s kind of working. Anyway, thanks for tuning into the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Back episodes are at whatsthematterwithme.org. You can find the whole thing on Apple podcasts. And this is the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Thank you for tuning in and I’ll be in touch next time. My wife has been putting away the groceries this entire time. In the background, my wife is diligently putting things in the fridge. So I got to go help. All right, you guys, What’s The Matter With Me? Thanks for tuning in.

Disabled voices are just like regular voices, just like anybody. Using our voice makes it stronger, and it's doubly true for disabled people who've been disenfranchised, and hidden away, and censored. I think that's what I was getting at about being an artist. It feels like censorship, to be rendered invisible. I think it's a particular experience to go from being able-bodied and normal to being outside the norm, not pictured or represented, to have yourself kind of … I felt myself being erased and my viewpoint being hidden away, and I felt it live as it happened.

Compounded trauma is when things make us upset, because they remind us of traumatic situations that we've experienced before.

I think we all need to put in effort to get ourselves out there, because it can be hard on your mental health to be so isolated. It's important to be part of a community, and be involved, and have exchange with people.

Day 67 COVID-19 self isolation I'm working in the garden, while wearing my new AFO brace in this episode of the What's The Matter With Me? Podcast.

Two months into coronavirus self-isolation, I'm thinking about how this is an important time, one that we'll remember forever and that our kids will also remember. In this episode of the What's The Matter With Me? Podcast, I'm thinking about the importance of this time.

Welcome back to the What's The Matter With Me? Podcast. Day 42 of Covid-19 Coronavirus quarantine finds me thinking about the value of disabled life. What is the Principle of Non discrimination? The principle of non-discrimination seeks “to guarantee that human rights are exercised without discrimination of any kind based on race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status such as disability, age, marital and family status, sexual orientation and gender identity, health status, place of residence, economic and social situation”.Committee on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights, General Comment No. 20, Non-discrimination in economic, social and cultural rights; 2009. Do disabled people deserve assistance even though they may require more resources than the 'average patient?' (When too many patients are in urgent need at the same time), some are proposing to send the disabled to the back of the line. States across the country are looking to their Crisis Standards of Care plans — documents that explain how medical care changes amid the shortages of an unprecedented catastrophe. While each is different, many have a concerning common attribute: When there isn’t enough lifesaving care to go around, those who need more than others may be in trouble.Ari Ne'eman, 'I Will Not Apologize For My Needs,' New York Times, March 23, 2020. Begin Transcript JOHN HOPPIN: Yes! You are tuned into the What's The Matter With Me? Podcast. My name is John, I'm 40 years old, I have MS (multiple sclerosis), I'm a father and husband, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster. Right now I'm 40 days into this coronavirus quarantine, on week five at school. Anyhow, it just feels like we're inside forever. I think you all know what I'm talking about, so I've wanted to get in touch. I have had some stuff on my mind. First, I want to bring in this idea of the principle of non-discrimination. It's defined by the World Health Organization as, the principle of non-discrimination seeks to guaranteed that human rights are exercised without discrimination of any kind based on race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status, such as disability, age, marital and family status, sexual orientation, gender identity, the health status, place of residence, economic and social situation. That was defined by the Committee on Economic, Social, Cultural rights in 2009. This whole outbreak is going on, and it's made me think about the value of disabled life. First, that a disabled life is worth living. I think it's obvious my life rules and it's worth living. I mean it's my life, you can't take it from me. So why think about this stuff? Well, I've read this article called, I Will Not Apologize For My Needs, by Ari Ne’eman, in the New York Times of March 23rd 2020. He writes: Times of crisis ask us who we are as a country. As hospitals prepare for shortages in ventilators and other scarce medical resources, many people with disabilities are worried about the answer to that question. In Italy, doctors are already rationing access to care on the basis of age and disability. The Washington Post reports that many states are considering how to implement similar rationing measures here. Though almost everyone would agree doctors may deny care that is unlikely to benefit a patient, there may soon be too many patients in urgent need of lifesaving treatment and too few resources to treat them all. When that happens, some are proposing to send the disabled to the back of the line. States across the country are looking to their Crisis Standards of Care plans — documents that explain how medical care changes amid the shortages of an unprecedented catastrophe. While each is different, many have a concerning common attribute: When there isn’t enough lifesaving care to go around,

Day 23 of self-isolation I'm going to try practicing some acceptance to get through this terrible experience of confinement, which is worse than usual. Begin Transcript JOHN HOPPIN: You are listening to the What's The Matter With Me? Podcast. My name is John. I'm 40 years old, husband, father of two, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster, and I have multiple sclerosis. So I made this podcast to share what I'm going through. Let's see. Last episode, recap: I was just rambling about stress. I was stressed out, but I think it's 12 minutes long or something. I couldn't even edit it. I'm not really editing things too much right now. I wanted to talk today about Acceptance. The family is all here. I'm baking bread right now, to teach them how to make bread and how yeast works. Right now it's been punched down and reformed and it'll bake in about an hour. So it's rising, getting ready to bake. I wanted to talk about acceptance. Because of what's going on, it's totally out of my control. So much stress. I wanted to think about acceptance. I've had to focus on that. I'm really uncomfortable in my body a lot of the time. My hand is clenched up and my biceps has spasticity, along with weakness in my right leg, my whole right side really. It's kind of uncomfortable, especially when I'm trying to get comfortable and go sleep, lay there and quiet my mind. Kind of do the same thing I used to do in a yoga. I would think about lengthening my spine and stretching out. It's hard because if I feel really uncomfortable a lot of the time in my own body, then that physical discomfort makes me really upset mentally and I have to deal with that. Hold on a second. I'm going to go inside because I'm cold. All right. I'm in the garage. So, discomfort can kind of take over my thoughts when I'm laying there and I have to practice that yoga lengthening of the spine, meditation and focusing on my breath and I'm trying really hard. But you know what can be really helpful is to practice acceptance and to say, "Hey, this is how I'm feeling right now," and that's what's going on. I'm having feelings and emotions and that's all it's happening. I can be mindful and be accepting of my own feelings and just feel them and it's okay and to move on from that. I wanted to talk about that, after that really stressful episode where I really let it all out. So I want this practice some acceptance. That's what I'm going to try do and try and get through this terrible experience of confinement that is worse than usual. All right. Thank you for listening to the What's The Matter With Me? Podcast You can get past episodes on Apple Podcast and at whatsthematterwithme.org. Thank you for tuning into the What's The Matter With Me? Podcast.

Day 14 in isolation coronavirus isolation has my mind stressing, the amygdala, anion mal brain underneath the hippocampus, the thinking part of my brain. Looking around at the newspaper, it seems like there's a lot of nutso animals on the prowl right now in our culture and around the world. And it's a lot of stress. It creates this stress, it's bad for MS, it's bad for many things. Almost anything that's wrong with you, you could do without some stress to deal with it, you know? So, people are not functioning in their highest level right now because of all the stress. Begin Transcript JOHN HOPPIN: All right, what's up, what's up? Thank you for tuning in to the What's The Matter With Me? podcast. My name is John. I'm a husband, a father, 40 years old. Feels older sometimes. I'm an MS patient, and I'm a small business owner and podcaster/radio DJ. But I'm not really much of anything except a husband and father right now. That's been my focus for the past 14 days I've been at my house. My wife has been doing the grocery stuff and the toilet paper war, and all of this stuff; it sounds horrible. I've been at home with my kids. We go out on a walk and usually, I use my wheelchair and then go around my neighborhood. I told you about that last time. We're still pretty much doing that every day. I had Zoom chats with my kids' school. Hold on a second, it's too cold out here. Sun is shining, but the wind is starting to blow. All right, What's The Matter With Me? podcast, we're back. Thank you for staying with me. I went inside and I got a Pendleton, my Pendleton wool sweater. It's so comfortable and stylish, and it makes me happy. I got that on, I'm in the sun, things are okay, but I just wanted to say it's been two weeks I've been in my house, I'm getting some walks around pretty much on the daily. Today I finally took a walk without the chair, and that made me realize how much I'm missing the YMCA, and I'll get back there. I wanted to make this episode to check in. First of all, I got to give a big shout to Patrick. Thanks for checking with me, shooting me an email. He emailed me via the contact page- email me there, and I will say what's up to you. What's up, Patrick? Patrick's always listening. I also wanted to give a shout-out to Rocky. Rocky is always listening and connected, and shout-outs to all the other people who listen. You know, it's great to hear from people and I wish I could hear from everyone, but it's just the way it always goes in advertising, right? Couple of people write you, you know other people were listening, getting down the same way; they just didn't write you. So, I wanted to give a shout-out to all you silent lurkers. Thank you for listening to the What's The Matter With Me? podcast. Right now, you know, multiple sclerosis can get aggravated under stress, and right now it's a very stressful time, and everyone functions worse under stress. We start getting dominated in our brain by our amygdala, which is like our animal brain, and it releases cortisol, stress hormone. It increases our fight-or-flight response. So, we're not creating positive thoughts, we're not in our hippocampus, we're not in the brainy part of our brain. I know we've talked about it. It's the part on top that looks like a brain. We're instead all operating under stress, we all start operating from that weird, little brain under our big brainy brain. And so, we're all stressed out and fighting or freaking out. At least, I am. I mean, it's a stressful time. I haven't been able to go anywhere. I'm kind of like a nutso animal, right? I think, looking around at the newspaper, it seems like there's a lot of nutso animals on the prowl right now in our culture and around the world. And it's a lot of stress. It creates this stress, it's bad for MS, it's bad for many things. Almost anything that's wrong with you, you could do without some stress to deal with it, you know? So,

I recorded this message on lockdown. I can't go anywhere due to the coronavirus pandemic and my multiple sclerosis condition. I'm in my house with my family, trying tto educate my kids and keep their development on track. It's a crash course in distance learning, e-learning, online education, or whatever it's called, sooner than any of us thought.

The orthotist came up with a second brace concept, and I went back for a fitting that left me feeling a bit dejected. She took a video of me walking in the examination room. She showed it to me after. It was framed from the knee down. Looking at it made me feel really disabled. I felt ashamed of myself. I felt sorry for myself. it was kind of nauseating. I looked at myself as an object. I felt disgusted.I apologized to her for walking so poorly. She was surprised. Raising an eyebrow, she told me I had nothing to apologize for. begin transcript John Hoppin: Yes! You are tuned in to the What's The Matter With Me? Podcast. My name is John. I'm 40 years old, and I have multiple sclerosis. I made this podcast to share what I'm going through. In this episode, New Brace, Part Two, they rethought the whole thing. They fit me for a new type of ankle brace. It's new, and different, and I'm scared of change like anyone, but the energy is still high. What's The Matter With Me? Podcast sponsored by Hoppin Hot Sauce, the best sauce in the world. What up? (singing). Right. Hoppin Hot Sauce, best in the world. Surf it on over to hoppinhotsauce.com. People love Hoppin Hot Sauce. Man, people love it. Shoutouts Yo, shout-outs to Joe. He said he loved all the different theme songs. Check it out. Send an email via the Contact page.. I will give you a shout-out. You don't even have to compliment me, but it helps. Don't become another statistic Last week in the show called Statistics, we took a systematic, numerical, statistical, analytic analysis of the podcasts. And did you know in February we had the most listeners ever? It goes back now a few years, so that's like people almost care about this. So check it out, the episode Statistics. It has all the numbers. New Brace Part 2 Two weeks ago, I was talking about getting a new ankle brace, and it got emotional then. This week, I had a second brace fitting appointment because the orthotist came up with a new concept. She thought about what I needed. She thought, "Maybe you need a brace that can help you walk more." She thought up this carbon fiber brace that may help me walk easier. Upsetting Video While she was fitting me, she took a video of me walking in the examination room. She showed it to me after. I mean, she asked me, "Do you want to see it?" I looked at it. And she had kind of shot it framed from my knee down, looking at it to see how I walked. But watching it for me made me feel kind of really disabled. I know that wasn't her intention at all. It was me. It was self-talk here, but looking at it was tough. It was only a few steps, and I was holding the railing in the exam room. My knee was hyperextended, and my ankle twisting, and my muscles looked atrophied. And instead of stepping forward, my foot would swing out to the side and I would kind of stumble forward slowly, awkwardly, and it was painful-looking. I felt ashamed of myself when I watched it. I felt sorry for myself. It was kind of gross because I was looking at myself as an object. I felt some disgust, and really a lot of judgment on myself. I even turned to the orthotist-- we talked about her before. She's a disabled woman. I apologized to her for walking so poorly while we were watching it together. She was surprised. She raised an eyebrow and told me I had nothing to apologize for. And really, I was freaking out about this. I made a lot of notes for this episode at 3:00 AM the night after I have the appointment because I'm trying to sleep. I wrote, "I'm trying to sleep, and I keep thinking of the video." So you know, it caused some sleepless night or whatever. It upset me. I can't believe I apologized to her though. I mean, come on. Get real. Trust in the process I'm afraid though. I'm afraid the new brace won't work, even though she took extra time and thought about it. She thought more after our original fitting. She thought about it,