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In this episode, Sharon and Kayla discuss 5 types of narcissists they typically deal with. They define the term narcissist, and in this first part of a two part episode, they discuss the most confusing types of narcissists- Vulnerable and Covert. Free 5 Types of Narcissists download available here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/

In this episode, licensed professional counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss coping mechanisms, and the three underlying emotions that usually drive us to employ a defense mechanism. They detail the six ways we tend to respond to these emotions, and why it is important to recognize so we can work to identify the unhealthy defense mechanism and replace it with a healthy coping mechanism.  Free Coping Mechanism download available here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/ 

In this episode, counselors Kayla and Sharon discuss the “inner child”, using simple analogies, stories, and real life examples to aid listeners in understanding this concept.They define the term, note why it is important to understand our inner children, how it impacts us in adulthood, and how to begin healing the inner child. Knowing and recognizing our inner child can help us identify why we react to things the way we do, and start to relearn new and healthy behaviors in response to triggering words or events.  Resources:  Blog: https://insighttimer.com/blog/inner-child-meaning-noticing-healing-freeing/ Podcast: The Inner Child Podcast Books : Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents Paperback Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD, Healing the Wounded Child Within: Heal Your Wounds, Change Your Life by Ricky Roberts III

An agreement is a truth that is decided or agreed. They can be made as the result of some kind of traumatic event, statements or labels from relationships, roles in our childhood homes, or hurts and pains we’ve experienced. These experiences sent some kind of message to ourselves that we then agreed to, and now live our life as if it is truth. When we live our lives as if these agreements were truths, we find that they are binding and limiting as they play out into adulthood. Listen to Kayla and Sharon discuss examples of agreements, how they are formed, why it’s important to understand them, and how to name and break them.

It’s important to know your trauma and story so you can know what triggers you. When you’re able to identify your triggers, you can begin to repave your neural pathways so you can respond differently to what might trigger you in the present. For more information on what triggers are, how to identify them, how they might make you respond, somatic exercises to help you out of a trigger response, and more- listen to Cait and Sharon in our 4th episode of our podcast series, Know Thy Trauma.

Knowing our attachment styles lends us insight into how we view ourselves, relate to other people, and can help us understand our trauma . In this podcast episode, counselors Sharon, Cait and Kayla discuss the importance of knowing your attachment style. They look at the five “A’s” needed in childhood – affection, affirmation, attunement, affect regulation, and attention, how they relate to the five love languages, and describe the different styles of attachment.

The influence of parents is pivotal in child development in cognitive skills, behaviors, social skills, coping skills, and general security.  Therefore it is essential to understand our parent’s story and their trauma to gain a greater understanding of ourselves.  How did their own traumatic experiences influence how they parented us?  How did they model coping skills to us?  As we seek a greater understanding of our functioning in life, it is crucial to trace the roots of the previous generations so that we come to understand some of our beliefs resulting from our parent’s traumatic experiences.  For example, was one of your parents abused, and how does that impact how they under or over-protected us?  Did your parents experience a significant loss that they were never allowed to process?  Was your parent able to handle your losses as a child in a nurturing way, or were you forced to take care of their feelings? Although understanding the traumas of our parents is essential in unraveling our own unhealthy beliefs and coping skills, it does not negate their responsibility to pursue healing for themselves.  Our role is not to devalue our pain because of our parent’s pain, but we can more effectively heal when we understand them and, in turn, understand how to create a healthy foundation based on truth and not our parent’s trauma.

This episode is our introductory recording in our new series, “Know Thy Trauma.” Sharon Wegman, Cait Beiler, and Kalya Seader explain why each person needs to understand their personal trauma history and how it affects our body, mind, emotions, and relationships.   Unknown trauma can evidence itself in depression, anxiety, physical ailments, our ability to focus, our relationships, and a plethora of other symptoms. People fail to understand that the events from their childhood during the critical bonding stage affect them even if they have little memory. Additionally, beliefs formed years in childhood are also part of the foundation from which trauma operates in the person. When an event has occurred, the brain changes to accommodate the sheer amount of loss or transition the body has had to make for the events.  Our trauma events get stored like a disorganized filing cabinet that needs to be reorganized understandably, and therapy helps the brain and body again create the order it requires to function healthily.  Join us as we help people “Know Thy Trauma.” For more more information, visit wellspringssolutions.com or DM us on Instagram or Facebook @wellspringssolutions

At our practice, we see a lot of teenagers and a lot of parents of teenagers. In this podcast, Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman talk about the teen brain and why it is essential to understand what is happening during these developmental years. As therapists, we believe when you can receive knowledge about something, that can bring empowerment. Learning about the brain is so essential! In this podcast, we address why teenagers need stimulation all the time, how to communicate with your teen and some things the teenage brain needs to feel safe. Our brains always take in new information, but they are genuinely not done growing until about 24 years old. That means your teenager is stuck in the middle of the brain still being a kid, but almost being an adult (aka.. it’s a mess)! We hope this podcast leaves you feeling more equipped with tools to communicate and create safety for your teenager that serves both of you.

For a lot of people, the holidays can be a triggering time of year for a variety of reasons. While you may have been practicing how to manage these triggers, one new aspect has been thrown in the mix – COVID. In this episode, Sharon Wegman and Kayla Seader explore triggers such as rejection, fear of missing out, and having to say no, and setting firm boundaries. Sharon and Kayla then go on to explore areas that boundaries may need to be set, how to go about setting and respecting boundaries, and alternatives to still experience aspects of joy in this season.  —

Have you ever thought to yourself, “What is mindfulness?  What does that mean?”  Mindfulness is the process of doing specific exercises to transform how your brain engages with the rest of the world.  We often find that we have an automatic fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response to something that triggers a feeling similar to trauma events from our past.  For example, perhaps we were abandoned by our parents in some way in our childhood, and in turn, when someone behaves in a way that makes us feel the same emotion, we automatically respond in the same manner.  Our emotional brain responds to the trigger as if it is the same wound of our past.   Mindful practices change the emotional brain that reacts to the feeling, while the wise brain chooses to respond differently.   In this podcast, Sharon Wegman and Kayla Seader discuss mindfulness, what mindful practices look like in action, and how to transform how your brain reacts or performs.

Relationships and the associated conflict of relationships can have behavioral reactions that have nothing to do with the person with whom we have strife.  Many of us learned trauma coping skills at a very early age.  If attachment patterns form during 0-3 years and our world view forms during 0-12 years, then much of how we interpret our world occurs before we have adult relationships. HOWEVER, we can heal our brain patterns as we discover the truth and start thinking about our formative memories differently.  Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman discuss common trauma coping responses that people have in relationships based on their past in this episode.  You don’t have to keep repeating cycles in your relationships if you choose to do the work of understanding your personal story.

Shame is the most significant behind the scenes motivator of a lot of the counseling topics that come through our office. It is the enemy of your being. It drives addictions, self-image problems, marriage struggles, depression, anxiety, etc. Whatever problem you name, there is an element of shame that may not have caused the root of the problem, but now exists.

In 1944 there was a famous movie released by the name “Gaslight.”  The film is the story of a man who marries a woman after a whirlwind relationship to manipulate her for financial gain.  Throughout the movie, the husband proceeds to do a variety of deceptive things to convince his wife that she is insane to gain control over her and her wealth.  The movie’s theme slowly created the term gaslighting, to describe a type of manipulative behavior that a person uses to try to deceive another out of truth.  Examples of gaslighting actions might include;  Blatant lying, frequent use of denial, projecting, manipulation of things dear to you, flattery, and a plethora of other manipulation tactics.  The individual who is the victim of gaslighting will often find themselves confused sometimes to the point of developing extreme depression and anxiety.  In the following podcast, Sharon Wegman and Ina Gould describe gaslighting, its effects, and strategies to deal with gaslighting. Gaslighting 101

Self Harm is a growing trend amongst pre-teen and teens, and it is a topic that frequently comes up in the world of counseling. Parents, concerned friends, and even the person doing self-harm, often feel confused regarding the behavior. Self-harm touches all people groups, but it manifests itself in different expressions. Unfortunately, many people learn this behavior from their friends or from websites in which there is a pro-injury theme, and yet many parents feel ill-equipped to handle the discovery when they learn of their child’s self-harm. Below are the statistics of self-harm from 2019 Each year, 1 in 7 seven males and 1-5 females engage in self-harm/injury.Ninety percent of the people who engage in self-harm begin in their teen or pre-teen years. The average of a teen to begin to self-harm is 13 years old.Close to 50 percent of the people who engage in self-harm have experienced abuse in some way.Sixty percent of those that self-harm is female. Self-half harm has become a normalized behavior amongst young adults and teens; however, it is a foreign concept to their parents and grandparents. In this podcast, Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman explain how self-harm often starts and how it continues and experience healing. *2019 APA statistics

Co-dependency was a word that was coined by people working in the field of addictions to describe the behavior of members of an addict’s family that enabled the addict to continue with addict choices.  However, in the world of counseling, we have taken over the term to describe the behaviors of individuals who carry things for others that are not their responsibility. This could look like several things.  Sometimes people can have an unhealthy need for people to make them feel better. For example, if someone struggles with anxiety, they might be dependent on another individual to make them feel peaceful. This relationship struggle can cause people to control others so they don’t feel upset or it could cause people to become “people pleasers” to keep themselves or others from feeling off emotionally.  People tell me all the time that they feel like they have to carry the problems or tasks of others so that they don’t feel anxious. The crux of all co-dependency is that I carry something for someone so that I don’t have to feel _________(fill in the blank) or so that the other person doesn’t have to feel __________(fill in the blank). However, what we all need to understand is that feeling uncomfortable feelings is part of our emotional growth to wholeness; for self and others.  Whether it is our children, friends, co-workers or other family members, if we don’t feel the uncomfortable feelings of our choices, we are likely to not change. In this podcast, Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman discuss what codependency can look like in our everyday life.

The trend and comfort of going to counseling has only developed popularity within the past decade or so. This is a good thing, but as a therapist, I still encounter the negative views or “cliches” people see in counseling. As a culture, we are just now starting to come out of the perspective that going to counseling somehow means “you’re crazy” or “there’s something wrong with you.” In reality, we all go through hard things, and the point is we need support and safe places to process these experiences to stay healthy and receive healing. In this podcast, Sharon and I discuss the different reasons why someone might want to go to counseling and how counseling can aide and support that person in their process of healing. It is possible that as you have gotten older, you have become more increasingly aware of negative patterns you have picked up over time from your childhood. Going to counseling can help you unravel some of these patterns and find new ways to think and see things rather than being stuck in our childhood self. Another reason people might come to counseling is to find help and a safe space to process various types of trauma that have happened to them. Such trauma might include; multiple types of abuse, divorce, poverty, domestic violence, etc. Talking to a counselor can free up some of the weight and struggle you carry from these memories, as well as helping you find healthy ways to cope with your past. Lastly, you might find yourself needing to go to counseling because you have experienced the death of someone close to you. Grief counseling is a massive piece of working through a loss and the grief cycle in a very vulnerable time. All in all, counseling is helpful for any season of life, sometimes as people, we need someone to sit and process with us in a place that feels safe and gives us permission to explore and experience our emotions. A therapist is simply a person whose job is to support and help you work out your feelings and your needs. Therapists are not afraid of the ugly feelings, so you have permission in a counseling office to be your authentic self. A counseling office is a place concerning no judgments or expectations over us, and for most of us, that in itself can be a very healing process.

Anxiety rates are on the rise in the western world. In fact, in 2018 study on anxiety, it was determined that “1 in 5 five individuals deal with some form of anxiety and would be considered the highest prevalent form of mental illness in the United States”. Most people feel a lot of shame about not being able to control their anxiety or the fact that they have anxiety, however as research on this topic evolves we are coming to understand that changes in our culture have strong influences on the development of anxiety in our culture. For example, researchers have determined that 90% of the serotonin receptors are located in the gut. Therefore, the adage that “ you are what you eat” is quite right when it comes to an understanding some of the roots of anxiety in a modern culture which eats many genetically modified and processed foods. Additionally, many therapists would agree that the use of electronics increases social isolation and increases more self-comparison and negative perceptions of self and the world. In this podcast, Cait Beiler, MS and Sharon Wegman, MA, LPC, discuss causes of anxiety and strategies to deal with anxiety. Newman, Tim (2018, May 5) Anxiety in the West: Is it on the rise? Retrieved from URLNaidoo, Uma (2019, March 27) Gut feelings: How food affects your mood. Retrieved from URL

School summer vacation has an immense undercurrent to it these days.  Below the surface of the joy that the children feel about summer vacation from school, there exists a hint of angst when parents think about children being home in summer.  It is rare though when a parent openly shares their negative feelings of shame and guilt associated with children being home. There is less structure, less mom time, and less money available because food, entertainment, camp, and vacation expenses go up. Moms, in particular, feel more guilt and shame over not being able to be the fantastic mom portrayed in social media. Therefore, they find it difficult to focus on the positive aspects of connecting with their children and find summer to be a struggle. Two conflicting emotions are colliding! However, God desires to empower us in all the losses and negative feelings we experience during this season.  We love our children; however, we may need some assistance in processing our feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, and powerlessness that get stirred by the summer break. Join host Sharon Wegman and her guest host Jesukah Beachy (mom of four girls) as they discuss how to bring empowerment to the negative feelings tied to summer break.

How do you relate with others?  Are you secure? Do you struggle with social anxiety?   Sometimes understanding the truth of how we relate to people is the first step to beginning to make the necessary changes in how we relate to people.  Most people fail to understand that attachment takes place in the first three years of a person’s life, and the individual’s world view is primarily established in the first twelve years of a person’s life.  We have very little control over how we learned to attach to and relate to people, but we do have power over how we change to relate to people. In this podcast, Sharon Wegman and Cait Beiler discuss the basics of Attachment theory which was originated by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth and consider how the therapeutic process can bring change to how we relate to people.