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Goddamnit, we missed the "not my first rodeo" jokes. They were right there. "If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said smaller, wetter animals." - Henry Ford Letter one: I don't want my sister pulling a coyote act at the wedding Letter two: Recovering from an Awkward Lie Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Please speak to a doctor if you or a loved one have been unhealthed. Letter one: Help! I’m Sick of My Boyfriend Always Being Sick! Letter two: Why Am I Addicted To Buying Figurative Painting? Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

"I'm normal." - Amelia You can stick a Coexist bumper sticker on a tortoise. They won't notice. Letter one: I Think My Husband’s Constant Demand to Get a Dog Is Sexist Letter two: A husband took his wife’s maiden name as his middle name — but did she uphold her part of the bargain? Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime     Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

"More wolves!" - Gabriella Everyone knows the opposite of sugar is onions, right? Letter one: I Think My Partner’s Reason for Suddenly Wanting Kids Might Be Racist Letter two: Dream Retriever: Being reminded of what’s important Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime     Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Consider: The Portrait Of Dorian Goof. Letter one: Overwhelmed by Ice Cream Letter two: Just a Dab Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Grandpop's in the memory hole, sorry. Sorry, but grandpop's in the hole now. Letter one: Help! My Daughter Won’t Talk to Me Because I Left Her Dog Out of My Will. Letter two: Heartbroken Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Stop what you are doing and record yourself saying "Proorb." Email that recording to welltakethisone@gmail.com. Thank you for your collaboration. Letter one: Don't Worry About That Orb—It's Likely A Spirit Letter two: Help, I’m Losing My Friends To Streaming Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Whether trampled by ferrets or pursued by tiny cars, childhood wonderment is all Alex desires. Letter one: Finder's Keepers? Letter two: Tired of “Moocher” Son-In-Law Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Inexplicable decisions by husbands and ex-coworkers haunt and torment your hosts today on WTTO. Letter one: Man's Territorial Imperative Takes Place in His Front Yard Letter two: My Former Coworker Wants My Company To Sponsor Her Party Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

We get a lil' silly with this one. Keepin' it caj. Cas'? Casual. Gabriella: do not go to the beach during a lightning storm. We are begging you. Letter one: Cleaning Up After Adult Son And His Girlfriend  Letter two: Help! My Roommate Didn’t Come Home One Night. So I Told Her Family She Was Missing. Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Sorry about the extended break while Alex's computer was in the shop! We'll be back to our (more or less) weekly schedule now. Teenagers be problematizing! Yes they do! And rich people? Ooh, buddy, they just can't make us care about their problems. Gabriella has a lot to say about 16th century Italian politics. Alex has less to say about a painting of sheep he has. Letter one: Our age gap bothers my friend  Letter two: Hard Truths: Bad Taste Brother Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Amelia presents her unified theory of the Midwest as we finally get into North American geography. Again. Plus: Dr. Nerdlove, the geek who fucks. Also: Alex does a small labor practices rant. Letter one: What Do You Do About the One Friend You Can’t Stand? Letter two: Why Is My Life So Perfect? Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabri ella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

What IS a Canada anyway? And what is to be done about a precarious boy advice columnist 60 years ago who grew up to be a nightmare person? To handle these questions of youth and young canhood, we brought on young Canadian person and recording artist Sam Aleums. "You Know You Love It!" Letter one: I have a really interesting homework assignment. Letter two+: Selections from "Ask Henry" Buy or stream Sam Aleums' music on Bandcamp Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Yeah, they're still letting Alex name the episodes. After a healthy amount of jazz patter and chocolate thoughts, the three friends talk secret children and their effect on capEx v. OpEx or whatever. Plus, the long-awaited(?) return of Jackie Bryson: Dream Retriever. Letter one: I’m Working Remotely. Can I Keep Hiding My Secret Baby? Letter two: Confusion in house means confusion in life Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Can we trust professors to have normal conversations at parties? No. Plus, tiny church, big percussion. Because God loves a "doink!" Letter one: How does one deal with false modesty? Letter two: Dear Annie: Tone down the tambourine Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

WTTO welcomes UK-based bon vivant Hanny to discuss E-men, Time-traveler disguises, The Dude Guardian, Dad Rent, "The Great Pottery Throwdown's" Rockabilly Guy, and more. Letter one: I hate my husband's centre part. How do I make the best of a stupid situation? Letter two: Wary of Reconciliation Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

EDITOR'S NOTE: Alex takes full responsibility for the title of the episode. Please don't leave us a one star review over it. Letter one: Scuffle over fried pickles leaves bad aftertaste. Letter two: How do my partner and I compromise on a house? Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

Gossipy grandma's gears ground on grandkids' Google-able gabbing! Cardigan cribber creeps out coworker, categorically. EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS EPISODE WAS RECORDED BEFORE THE RECENT ANNOUNCEMENT OF A PARAMOUNT+ EXCLUSIVE FRASIER REBOOT. Letter one: I need to know if I am overreacting or if my daughter is putting her life at risk. Letter two: My Brother’s New Girlfriend Got Drunk at My Birthday and Stole My Cake Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

You've been waiting for this one (probably, if you keep track of viral advice letters)—It's time for some $50 cake from the city. But first: Should managers be allowed to "Ask A Manager"? (No.) Letter one: my employee told me “I prefer not to” when I tried to give him a new project Letter two: My Brother’s New Girlfriend Got Drunk at My Birthday and Stole My Cake Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support

In a very late WTTO, the hosts are skeptical of the feasibility of a teach-abroad ruse and even more skeptical of a house-hungry second wife with a grim view of her husband's kin. Alex requests we embrace the inevitability of death, but like, in a fun way. Letter one: I moved to Dubai but told my parents I’m in Tokyo Letter two: My husband, 67, wants to leave his $2 million estate and home to his disabled daughter and his sister’s kids. Can he do that? I could outlive them Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime   Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime   --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wtto/support