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48 minutes | Oct 22, 2021
Here Comes Some Unfunny Comedy
Episode 193 - Suddenly HumanIn a rare turn of events, we actually spend quite a bit of time talking about Star Trek this week! Topics include: Livingston the Starfleet Fish! The rules of Space Racquetball! Chad Allen and TV's Blonds Of The Late 80s! Squid Game! Will Wheaton getting ice cream thrown in his face by an angry teamster! What is the appropriate amount of Paul Reiser exposure? Squid Game again! The value of Radio Shack's customer database! Okay, so maybe these aren't ALL Star Trek related.Plus: Jake voices an opinion, Erin hears the word Chakotay for the first time, and everyone's thrilled about the Triumphant Return of CONNECT EM ALL UP! (Because the fans demanded it.) All this and more on this week's Warped! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
54 minutes | Oct 15, 2021
Amateur Night at the Chuckle Hut
Episode 192 - BrothersLet's be honest: they can't all be winners. Brent Spiner talks to himself for about 45 minutes this week, leaving the Warped gang confused, unhappy, and hungry for nachos. A boy eats deadly fruit, raising questions about the professionalism of Starfleet's arborists. Data malfunctions (again), raising questions about whether he even belongs on the bridge. Beverly tells a joke, raising questions about her bedside manner. It's so boring the gang starts talking about what happened on LAST week's episode! Remember Worf's chair? We sure do!Topics include: We Are The World! The accuracy of the Flintstones! Behind the curtain with our listener numbers! And finally, drum roll drum roll drum roll.... Old Clothes! Yes. Really.All this plus a shoutout to our newest Patron, this week on Warped! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
47 minutes | Oct 8, 2021
Smokutus, or 4 of 20
Episode 191 - FamilyEveryone's feeling a little off their game this week, which isn't helped when Erin throws us for a loop with an unconventional intro. But we quickly jump back on track as the family drama grabs our attention. This is a great episode of Star Trek and we're all super impressed by it, but sadly that doesn't stop us from talking about a bunch of random nonsense, as usual.Topics include: what's our sexiest planet? Is William McKinley overrepresented in the naming of America's junior high schools? What sound do you make when you eat Rokeg Blood Pie? If there's no money in the Federation, how does owning a giant winery work? Is day drinking okay as long as you wait until noon? Is doing a bunch of drugs in Amsterdam similar to being assimilated? And most important of all, WHAT IS WORF SITTING IN??? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
46 minutes | Oct 1, 2021
Cliffhangers In Those Days! (If you know what I mean)
Episode 190 - The Best of Both Worlds Part IIWhooopieeee!!!! Welcome back, to a new season of Star Trek: TNG. Our Whoop Watch is goin' off and we're here for all of it.It's also the nerd history-making second parter to the Picard/Locutie storyline, which is setting off all sorts of nostalgia waves for the Warped crew. Ride or die along with us, while we reminisce about not just the feels of watching this episode again, but also old school periodicals (TV Guide, yeah!), vee-cee-arrrr's and tape machines.What a bunch of dinosaurs! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
57 minutes | Sep 24, 2021
This Is Too Much You Guys
Episode 189 - Zardoz (Part 2)Flush with excitement after being exposed to the first half of John Boorman's almost too bonkers to believe it existed sci-fi extravaganza, Zardoz, the Warped crew is primed and pumped for Part 2!We were so primed. So pumped! I mean, in the second half we learn that Sean Connery's sweat has magic fuck powers. Cool! There are more tenacious tatas to be titillated by. Alrighty man. Matt even senses that Zardoz is a "personal story" being told with great conviction. And yet... and yet... the sighing and gnashing of our teeth aren't of the good kind.It's as if the magic of last night's debauchery and hedonism have worn off. Now we awaken next to the far too sweaty body of this heaving mass of meat and throbbing man-flesh that is Zardoz. What have we done?! What happened? Where is our underwear? Why are we so old now? Far too many questions. No real desire for answers.Zardoz, it's certainly an experience. We're so thankful we had each other during this time. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
62 minutes | Sep 17, 2021
Gun Is Good! Penis Is Evil! Movie Is Bad!
Episode 188 - Zardoz (Part 1)It's our season break movie watch and, because Erin insisted on it and we always do what she says, we're watching Zardoz! Marvel at Sean Connery being styled to look like Burt Reynolds! Delight in 70s boobs and animated erections! Gasp in astonishment as Shawn guesses the secret of Zardoz 10 minutes into the movie! Tremble in fear as Matt repeatedly says bandolero when he means bandolier! Gaze in awe at a sharpie goatee!All that and so, so much more! Seriously, what a crazy movie. If you know, you know. We're still recovering and this is only part one. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
50 minutes | Sep 10, 2021
Would You Buy A Pontiac From This Man?
Episode 187 - The Best of Both WorldsSooooo, great episode? Or GREATEST EPISODE EVER? It's hard to decide, because this one has it all! Riker's Career Conflicts! The Guy Who Played God Or Whatever In Star Trek V! The Chin Of Dennehy!Erin and Phillipe are full of opinions this week, which is what happens when they watch the episode before we record. For example, is the Borg ship a bad design? And do the characters really care when red shirts die? Does Geordi have a Mourning Visor? And who's responsible for changing the shell in Jean-Luc's ready room?Meanwhile, the rest of us remember that Hedy Lamarr invented SOMETHING, but what??? The mysterious connection between Twains both Mark and Shania is explored. And everyone loves Olympic rock climbing! All this and more on a blockbuster episode of Warped! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
52 minutes | Sep 3, 2021
Everything's Coming Up Geordi
Episode 186 - TransfigurationsShawn isn't quite able to nail our intro, but we've been summer vacationing for the last few weeks. So whaddya-gunna-do? Even Captain Picard got his time off on Risa!Happily this week, Geordi *is* able to nail it! After being touched by the healing spirit of Dr. Crusher's newfound (and very short-lived) love interest, Geordi discovers a confidence and swagger that we sadly won't see much of in later episodes. But we all know LeVar Burton can get some.After that, Crusher's crush goes on to touch many other people on the crew. This is the start of much awkwardness, as we find ourselves simultaneously drawn to and repulsed by the preponderance of male camel-toe. We blame Dr. Crusher for his off-puttingly distracting space attire.But hey, that's love. Whaddya-gunna-do? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
48 minutes | Aug 27, 2021
It's The Best Oo-mox I've Ever Had
Episode 185 - Ménage à Troi"Sexy fun times ahead.. with a title like that, it's gotta be good!"It's a hot, horny, and hilarious episode this week as we gawp at the problematic Star Trek Season 3 episode known as "Ménage à Troi". The themes certainly fuel conversation, from Ferengi sexual proclivities (that'll be a no on oral), to Riker and Troi's open relationship (friends can kiss each other full on the mouth), to wondering about the Warped crew podcasting together naked (hey-ohhh!). We discover Minh is pulling in some big numbers—the safe word is "I'm tired." And as always, consent is necessary.In the end, we bond over the fact that we wouldn't all be here together if we hadn't somehow collided in our collective orbits back in college. What a universe!It certainly *is* the best oo-mox I've ever had! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
48 minutes | Aug 20, 2021
To Us It's a Slime Pit, But To Them It's Home
Episode 184 - SarekSpock's well-sculptured father, Sarek, visits the starship Enterprise to broker a peace treaty with the disco slime Legarans in what may be his very last diplomatic mission. But what the crew of the Enterprise don't realise is that Sarek has come down with a wicked case of the Bendii's (crickey!) and all hell is about to break loose. Thankfully the Warped crew is well-versed in the sins of Hell and it's a rockin' good time as Captain Jean-Luc Picard gets to shake his well-honed and finely muscled theatrical spear. He swallows solar systems whole and shows his crew what it takes to pull in the big bucks. Just be sure not to turn the lights on at the end of our "therapy" session.Happy 100th, Gene! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
48 minutes | Aug 13, 2021
Anything Can Be A Sex Couch If You Try Hard Enough
Episode 183 - The Most ToysWhat's the difference between a hoarder and a collector? Is it just taste? And did Data shoot that guy or what? Opinions differ on this week's episode, but we all agree that Data looks great in lavender. Alien makeup preferences are explored, and Minh takes a bold stance. We question the comfort of beds in the future (square pillows?) but the couches are definitely down to Pon Farr. Meanwhile, Matt describes his favorite fan-Trek video (watch it here, it's hilarious: https://youtu.be/YoZ4dK7JKNg), Phillipe has his trypophobia triggered, and Corrections Corner is brought to you by Goldschlager and Skrewball! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
54 minutes | Aug 6, 2021
This Should Be Called "Your Boss Finds Your Browser History"
Episode 182 - Hollow PursuitsIt's New Faces Week on Warped as the Enterprise welcomes a new crew member and the podcast welcomes a new guest! Kate joins the gang in-studio to discuss the debut of Lieutenant Barclay and the ethics of Holodeck sexy fun times, in an episode that raises all kinds of interesting questions. For example, is anyone in Starfleet a good manager? And has Troi ever even met - much less helped - anyone like Barclay before? Meanwhile, Guinan's #1 Fan Erin has some thoughts about Whoopi's Wobbly Hat, while Phillipe wants to know why you can't Alt-Tab the Holodeck. And we wrap it all up by wondering what happened to brand names in the future. Welcome aboard the U.S.S. Qualcomm, everyone! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
56 minutes | Jul 30, 2021
Voltron Is Like An Orgy
Things get therapeutic this week, as Phillipe reveals why this was his favorite episode of TNG as a lonely kid dreaming of being part of something bigger. Thinking about being part of something bigger naturally leads to an extended digression about Voltron, Jetfire, and the fictional vehicles of our youth. The nostalgia vibes are strong as we remember Knight Rider, Airwolf, The A-Team (apologies in advance for the bad Mr. T impressions), and...The Love Bug?Meanwhile, Matt gets a factoid about Betazoid eyes wrong (we eagerly await your outraged tweets!), Phillipe and Matt geek out about old Starlogs, Shawn reviews a live Beach Boys concert, and Minh nearly derails the show describing something called Downtown Abbey. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
49 minutes | Jul 23, 2021
Episode 180 - Captain's Holiday
Maybe it's because this is our first episode recorded in person back in the studio together, fully vaxed and fully waxed! Maybe it's because Jean-Luc gets to visit Risa! Maybe it's the White Russians and the Margaritas! Whatever the reason, this is a very energetic, and very HORNY conversation! I mean, we all know what happens on Risa stays on Risa, but what happens back on the Enterprise? When Jean-Luc's away, the Riker will play! Minh wonders if Data is a sex robot, Erin admires Jean-Luc's short shorts, Matt reminds us that Riker loves a pleasure planet, and we all cannot stop talking about the insane leisure wear of the future. It's Horga'hns and Pon Farrs and Jamaharons (oh my!) on a Very Listener-Discretion Advised edition of Warped! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
47 minutes | Jul 16, 2021
Episode 179 - Allegiance
Trust. Who has it? Who wants it? And what's it worth to you anyway? These are the tough questions Star Trek tackles this week, while we goof off instead of paying attention!* Minh stumps Shawn in a round of "What Show Is Minh Talking About?" (See if you can guess! I put the answer at the end of the show notes.)* A Bolian, a Fangtooth, and the Sydney Opera House walk into a bar, and we FMK them, which gets weirdly contentious.* Erin teaches us a valuable lesson about hiding dead bodies (hint: don't tell the police where they CAN'T look)!* Fake Picard and Beverly kiss(!) which gives us all Last Starfighter vibes, and raises the question of how do you know your Picard is fake?* Minh tries to avoid playing Shove It In Minh's Mouthhole by changing the subject to possums, which of course works.* Matt makes an embarrassing ukulele confession.* And finally, we introduce a new, soon-to-be regular segment, Marathon Talk!(SPOILER FOR WHAT SHOW IS MINH TALKING ABOUT: The show Minh is talking about is Dollhouse.) See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
51 minutes | Jul 9, 2021
Episode 178 - Sins of the Father
It's a matter of honor (but not "A Matter of Honor" that's episode 143) this week as we begin our deep dive into the murky waters of Klingon politics. Minh kicks things off with a Klingons/Cling-Wrap joke and frankly things don't get any better from there. Worf and Kurn inspire the gang to share their stories of brothers fighting, except for lonely child Matt, who can't relate. Erin has to choose her ride or die cha'DIches. Over in Correction Corner, we ponder how many people can fit inside Jabba the Hutt. And Jake may not remember Numberwang, but he'll tell you all you need to know about siphonophores! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
46 minutes | Jul 2, 2021
Episode 177 - The Offspring
We're keepin' em separated (90s kids will get this reference), as Erin does a new version of the show intro, throwing the rest of the Gang into disarray. Data gets a daughter this week, but in classic TNG fashion, she doesn't stick around. (Remember Deanna's space baby? Deanna doesn't.) We take a peek behind the curtain into the Warped editing process, which frankly probably should have been cut. Meanwhile, Erin remembers taking wood shop at...some point in her schooling? Shawn takes a deep dive into the Frakes Filmography. Matt shouts out his favorite Star Trek Twitter parody accounts (what's up @RikerGoogling and @EnterpriseCPU)! We explore the relative sexiness of Jean-Luc Picard, Patrick Stewart, and Gay Patrick Stewart. And finally, just to tie a bow on the whole thing, we screw up the outro just as bad as we did the intro. Progress! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
46 minutes | Jun 25, 2021
Episode 176 - Yesterday's Enterprise
Great episode, or THE GREATEST EPISODE?!?! We're getting high on our own supply and remembering how much we love Star Trek on this week's episode. Erin gives us a new catchphrase - "Let's get Warped!" - and another variation on the show intro. Shawn and Matt geek out over the changes to the ship and crew in the alternate timeline (I love typing the words "alternate timeline"). For some reason an in-depth conversation about Grease 2 breaks out, threatening to destroy our jolly mood, until we join back together in celebration of how good Guinan and Tasha are together. And we all agree that Star Trek fans are the best! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
49 minutes | Jun 18, 2021
Episode 175 - A Matter of Perspective
Is Riker a Sex Creep? Or does every woman in the world want him? It's all just a matter of perspective on this week's episode! (See what I did there?) It's Space Rashomon as the gang tries to figure out who killed Hector Salamanca, and all they know is it wasn't Gus Fring. That was for all the Breaking Bad fans out there.Meanwhile, Matt praises Ghost of Tsushima! Shawn stands up for Ace Ventura! And we all marvel at The Many Hobbies of Jean-Luc Picard, which leads to a very serious question: why isn't there TV in the future??? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
57 minutes | Jun 11, 2021
Episode 174 - Deja Q
Tensions are running high among the Warped crew, and Erin's mind is blown when all her illusions regarding sour cream distribution methods at fast food Mexican restaurants are exposed. We get some Q side-butt in this episode (Happy Pride, everyone!) but a debate about whether Q or Guinan would be more fun to hang out with turns ugly. Minh and Erin have some problems with butt-faced aliens, forcing us all to realize what bad diplomats we'd make. All this plus: Paddington 2! Hot tubs! And LeVar Burton, Jeopardy host! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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