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39 minutes | May 21, 2021
Beanies Are Good, Actually
We’re back! Now on Fridays! Blair can’t handle her liquor. Dan’s grandma is worried about his socks. At a certain point one of us sings Roundabout. This was supposed to be a podcast about beanies.
41 minutes | May 5, 2021
Fun Words to Say: Pithy, Ampersand, Bubble, Proselytizing
BLAIR AND DAN ARE BACK IN THE SAME ROOM! And we celebrate that by, like usual, being all over the place. Everyone is hungry and a little silly. I can’t believe we’ve done this 30 times!
50 minutes | Apr 1, 2021
The 24th Season of the Bachelor is Good, Actually.
Two episodes where Dan simply talks too much! An extraordinarily long intro with a lot of talk about an American third party bridges to a very long discussion about the most cruel and brilliant invention in the history of reality television. Names will be dropped, segments will be done, and hopefully Blair will get to talk about something that she’s obsessed with one day.
46 minutes | Mar 24, 2021
We Must Protect Phoebe Bridgers at All Costs
Full disclosure, we no longer believe this opinion that we wrote almost a year ago. Phoebe can take care of herself! But if you give a listen, after a few bits about one of the more serious Jewish holidays, we present to you a pretty earnest and passionate discussion of an artist we admire and her work! Dan quotes a lot of lyrics, Blair makes excellent points about the creative process, and we discuss our opposite experiences seeing Fall Out Boy in our adolescence.
47 minutes | Mar 18, 2021
It’s Pronounced “Cran”
Our longest intro ever! We celebrate the birthday week of one of our hosts, and then pivot briefly into discussing the theme of the episode before various tangents. We read a LISTENER opinion!!!! We discuss our complicated feelings about jam bands and Ben & Jerrys! It’s a good time!
49 minutes | Mar 10, 2021
Colin Farrell is the Hottest Person Currently Living
Be warned guys this one is a little THIRSTY!!! Blair and Dan talk about the people and things they find hot, Mamma Mia 2, Pancakes, Dan being sick, and we see a triumphant double dose of Why Am I Like This, our great new segment. We hope you enjoy!
41 minutes | Feb 24, 2021
I Hate That I Don’t Love Broccoli
WELCOME TO THE BRAIN CHASM. Blair loses her shit about ricotta, Dan’s reality TV addiction might have gone too far, and what was the point of this episode? We don’t remember. Chaos encapsulated. No, no, YOU’RE welcome.
47 minutes | Feb 17, 2021
Authorial Intent Doesn’t Matter, But “Death of the Author” is Impossible
It’s a heady opinion, but don’t worry, we don’t stay there for long. We talk about this complicated concept for a second and then, as per usual, break into a bunch of different nonsense, including a brand new, Dan led segment, that may or may not be a winner. Will you listen to this one more than the Twilight one? We’ll see!
59 minutes | Feb 3, 2021
Twilight Should Have Been About Carlisle
THE PROPHESIED DAY HAS ARRIVED! After 22 grueling episodes, Dan is rewarded with an opportunity to talk about Twilight, only for his wifi to go down. After Blair brilliantly stalls for time, this episode gives you a long monologue about Stephanie Meyer’s deeply strange, committed, and arresting fantasy world, as well as, somehow, the state of the Adult Musical. It’s a wild one!
50 minutes | Jan 20, 2021
Viva La Vida is a Great Album
Welcome back! After a week off, Blair regales us with a tale of their digital LSAT experience! We then dig into Britain’s second best blonde tenor-lead rock band, Coldplay! We then end up talking about a lot of stuff including our respective favorite Pokemon, and Dan tells Blair how many canonical Pokemon exist (it’s a lot). All and all, this is everything you should expect from us if you listened to the last 21 episodes.
54 minutes | Jan 6, 2021
Laura Dern Is Our Finest Movie Star, Unquestionably
Happy 21st to the podcast!!! To celebrate, we do what a lot of people do when they turn 21 and then proceed to shout about movies for the better part of 50 minutes! Are there shenanigans? You bet there are shenanigans. Do we talk about the Ratatouille TikTok Musical? You bet we talk about the Ratatouille TikTok Musical. Our best episode, unquestionably.
44 minutes | Dec 30, 2020
Charles Dickens Sucks, But He Has The Best Wikipedia Photo
This episode is… unhinged. Blair has a gender announcement (no, not a baby), we get ASMR of a cat eating, and also a surprise visit from Dan’s sister, Casey! We made 20 episodes in the year 2020, which is pretty neat. Thank you for supporting, for listening, and here’s to a 2021 with a touch more shenanigans.
49 minutes | Dec 23, 2020
We Should Pronounce the “W” in Two
CW: addiction and rehab Ho ho ho! Santa makes an appearance at the beginning of this historic holiday spectacular. We briefly discuss the incredibly silly titular opinion, and then launch for a long time into a dark and sobering conversation encompassing bleak current events, the state of the American education system, and a number of other things. But don’t worry, Santa comes back!
49 minutes | Dec 16, 2020
It’s Ok to Be Mad at People Who Call the Band “Bohn Eye-ver”
This week, we take a turn for the pedantic and discuss our distaste for the way people sometimes pronounce the name of Justin Vernon’s good band! After that, there’s a long discussion of our history with his music, a new segment (!!!!), a LOT of chaos, and we express two deeply cancelable opinions! At this point, we’re never gonna talk about Twilight :(
53 minutes | Dec 9, 2020
There’s No Such Thing As A “Guilty Pleasure”
Okay so Blair left this audio on her other computer and disappeared for three weeks, but now you get an episode from the archives! Recorded shortly after that election, Dan and Blair revel in Guy Fieri again, Blair’s desire to age faster, and much to Dan’s dismay, they do not discuss Twilight.
46 minutes | Dec 2, 2020
We Should Be Allowed to Cite Wikipedia on Academic Papers
We’re back! After an unintentional hiatus we give you an episode with some deeply passionate arguments on the state of citation in academia and the force for good that is Wikipedia. In the middle we go on to discuss family names and expectations, our pasts, and how messed up it is that Taylor was SEVENTEEN when the VMA incident happened. NOTE: This episode aired before Elliot Page had come out with her brave and incredible post, and we want to give you all a content warning, because we do unintentionally deadname him a few times this episode.
46 minutes | Nov 11, 2020
The New Harry Styles Album is Great
Well, I feel like we lost your trust on this one. We got a topic we didn’t want to do yet, and we redid the number generator to get a new one. If you can get past that, enjoy the strange combination of relief and fear of us recording post-election, an extended bit about Jon Ossoff, and a bunch of other stuff that has nothing to do with the title of the episode
45 minutes | Oct 28, 2020
Ban Windowless Offices
Okay, buckle up folks. We start with a saga about the lack of vitamin D in offices and then take a quick turn to Dan promising Blair a TV, Blair learning about the Canadian government, and then a read through a diary all about smoked whitefish. Weird. As per usual!
47 minutes | Oct 21, 2020
We Need More Thomas Kellers and Less Gordon Ramseys
We’re back in Dan’s bedroom and this episode has everything: our God Guy Fieri*, a deep dive into philosophy bros, Ohio voting, eggplant parm, and a healthy dose of Blair’s cynicism. *Guy Fieri is not a guest on this episode we just honor him
42 minutes | Oct 15, 2020
As I Get Older, The Only Thing I Want on my Pizza is Sauce and Cheese, With A Little Blue Cheese on the Side for Dipping
Our longest title! Join Dan and Blair from different states as we discuss our histories with pizza, and then just some general sources of sadness, interest, and hope. Maybe eat a pizza while you listen to this one!
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