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Clisteners, the time has come to say farewell to Undateable. This is our final episode and from the bottom of our hearts, we cannot thank you guys enough for tuning in and supporting us for the last year and a half! Thank you to each and every one of you for writing in, commenting, sending us DM's to commiserate on your dating lives with us. You truly have no idea how amazing it was to hear from you guys.While this is the end of Undateable as we know it, who knows what the future holds for Jasmine and Lauren!Please still keep in touch with us via instagram @lodofasho and @thedoglordThank you again, Clisteners, for making this podcast such a worthwhile journey. We love you.Jasmine and Lauren

EPISODE 56 - The Father, The Son, The Morning Wood⁠⁠This week we're joined by Thomas (@thomas_lewis_). The girls get a university level crash course in gay sex clubs and cruising.⁠⁠Also HUGE TRIGGER WARNING. All three of us are in happy relationships and it's truly disgusting and we're so sorry (but not really).⁠⁠Actual trigger warning: there is a graphic discussion around piss play in this episode so definitely NSFW (as if this show has ever been safe for work).

Oh Heyyy Clisteners! Sorry for being MIA *cough cough* we were sick. And by sick, I mean lazy assholes. But we are backkkkkk and have so much exciting news to share! In this week's episode, we join Leslie from Interstates & Heartbreak pod and dive into why we often feel fuckable but not dateable. We get into the standards society expects us to meet in order to be classified as "wifey material". Listen to us transform our most "undateable" moments into unapologetic confidence. Remember, these sales professionals can spin anything!

The girls are waxed and vaxed and ready to get turnt up! (Eww could we sound anymore cheugy?) Was peeing on a stranger for money the gate way drug to more "controversial" financial opportunities? What CDC and just plain sanitary rules is Lauren breaking now? And get ready to roast Jasmine on her new Florida Boo... Yeah you heard me, Florida! So, tune in as your humbled and hungover/still drunk Clistener Qweens recount their weekend of post-pandemic debauchery. 

Clisteners, it's our lucky day! Leslie, the stunning host of a dating podcast titled Interstates and Heartbreak, joins Jasmine and Lauren to add her take on dating as a millennial in 2021. And as always, the girls unleash more trauma-raumas from the past week, like idk... getting a butt plug stuck in your ass during sex! So tune in now! Before their conscious catches up to them and they delete all content from the internet! Don't forget to listen and subscribe to Interstates and Heartbreak on Spotify and Apple iTunes

In the famous words of Meredith Grey, "Choose me, love me, pick me!" Today we're having a good ol' time roasting the phenomenon that is pick me girls!Let's be honest. We've all been a pick me girl at some point in our lives, but where does this come from? And why are we seeing a bigger resurgence now than before? Catch up with the girls as they discuss their dwindling roster, complaining to an ex about another guy, and cutting off manipulative men.

Stop trying to make the wrong person happen! They're NOT going to happen! Clisteners, welcome back! Apologies for an MIA week from your Clistener Qweens.  Break-ups, food poisoning, life.... it got the best of us! But join us on today's episode where we discuss the Do's and Don't of texting your Bumble/Tinder crush and when to use the age old lesson of Less IS More. 

At this point,  should we  just change the name of the podcast to Updates with Jasmine and Lauren because these two bitches cannot get to the point fast enough! Buckle up and get deep on all things dicks, dating, and everything in between as we update you on the highs and lows of trying to navigate expectations and exclusivity. Plus, we play a fun little fortune teller game you might remember from elementary and middle school!

Have you ever thought about joining a sex cult and cumming in a room with your entire "congregation?" Yeah, neither had Jasmine or Lauren! On this week's episode of Undateable, your Clistener Qweens are joined by Sara, another one of Lauren's childhood Jewish friends, who shares about her 9-month journey in a sex cult and the practice of what "Om" entails. We also find out what that mystery fluid coming out of Lauren's vagina is and Jasmine updates us on the jabroni from last week and hints at a new possible DOD (Dick on Demand). So perk your tits up and your clits up and chant it with us OM.........

It's our official Clitaversary, y'all! We're beyond excited to recap our very first episode with you, dear Clisteners, along with a couple of our fave drunken tales.Catch up with Lauren and Jasmine as they navigate dating new people in all it's emotional, queef-y glory.

Clisten Up! Lauren shares about her slow race towards death with the cocktail of shit she puts in her body daily and Jasmine gets slapped across the face with reality as she re-enters the online dating pool. The girls also discuss their negotiables and non-negotiables. Oh and spoiler alert there is of course a soap box debate and a serenading session from Lauren. 

In a world where your next match is just a swipe away, how do you make a long term relationship work when there's so much distraction to be had? Join us as we welcome Monica Heidt and Cat Chambers as guests to our show! As two women in longterm relationships, they give us the deets about the societal pressure to get married, keeping a relationship going, and how to grow as a couple without losing yourself in the process.

Are you just as confused by the title as we were? On this week's episode, Jasmine and Lauren share about their Valentine's Day weekends, and don't worry there is nothing mushy or lovey about them! Jasmine shares about her almost threesome with 2 cousins while Lauren explodes (literally) about her first weekend away with the new dude. Then it takes a massive right angle turn as the girls try and decode How To Not Die Alone which happens to be a book by Logan Ury. Stay tuned for the end where the girl's share the latest piece of Unsolicited they received from a kindred spirit. Enjoy! 

From a boinking penis to Jasmine looking like she can take a dick, this episode has everything! The girls debating over feminism and men's right; Lauren alluding to having men actually wear condoms; and they even get deep into the subject of Confirmation Bias. Jasmine and Lauren discuss why some of us convince ourselves that our dating relationships will never work out while others will ignore a sea of red flags just to make a relationship "work." We all relate to this in some way so start Clistening now! (PS... I hope you got the Stefan SNL reference) 

Before Jasmine and Lauren quiz one another from Cosmo issues from seasons past, get your fill of sex news, an impromptu intervention, and a whole lot of undateable antics!

In 2021 the dating lives of your Clistener Qweens are looking up!! LOLLLL Fake News! Lauren and Jasmine both get left on read from their supposed to be DODs. Jasmine is still getting harassed by a creepy jabroni and Lauren shoots her shot... but more on that later. This week, the girls dive into their puppy love romances in high school and what they would have told their younger self when going through heartbreak. 

TRIGGER WARNING: ONLINE DATING. We all know that online dating is the ~ absolute worst ~ but why is that? Is it because we end up getting finger cramps from swiping left all day? Or is it because you start talking to someone who seems great only to end up getting ghosted...again.Let's face it. Online dating is exhausting, but Lauren and Jasmine are here to break down the WHY about it. So buckle up as we roast the one thing that allows for dating during a pandemic!

Are you  in the business of convincing yourself you like someone? Have you ever said to yourself: "I mean I’m not attracted to them but that can grow over time right?" "Maybe they're just boring over text." "They're great on paper and technically what I’ve always said I wanted." "Maybe I'm just too picky!" You are not alone! Tune into episode 40 where Jasmine and Lauren get into the coupulous...? copulus amount of times they have convinced themselves to give a guy they didn't like another shot. They get into why most of us do this and how to stop this endless cycle and how to actually start trusting our gut! Enjoy

Welcome to 2021 where everything is magically better and your Clistener Queens are completely renewed!Okay, maybe only part of that is true.Since we couldn't do a traditional NYE countdown (because COVID), we decided to do a countdown of each other's most Undateable moments of 2020.Who will be crowned the Undefeated Undateable Champion? Spoiler alert: it's both of us.

In the last episode of 2020, Jasmine and Lauren ask themselves the age old question, “Are all the good men actually taken," Or, is this something women are told so they settle in their late 20’s, early 30’s? If we believe that only the trash of the species is left, what does that really say about our view of ourselves? Jasmine and Lauren take a break from moaning on air, to dive 10in deep into this rabbit hole we've all found ourselves in before... "Is there really someone out there for me, and if so, will we ever find each other?" So, enjoy the 38th and final episode of the year and just wait for the juicy juice topics your Clistener Qweens have prepared for your earholes in 2021! Cheers to the New Year!