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Two Clowns and a Goat

59 Episodes

99 minutes | Oct 31, 2020
How to meet a Bison
Alex is a buffalo guy. TC is a sad Jets guy. We’re trying to make this consistent we swear
87 minutes | Sep 9, 2020
!kcab era eW | We are back!
After months spent away from the world licking their wounds from the now infamous 'Roast of TC and Alex', the guys courageously enter back into the world of podcasting to try and reclaim their confidence. To do so, they fumble through the complex physics of Tenet and make NFL predictions surely to fall apart by week 2. It's good to be back.
71 minutes | May 13, 2020
The Roast of TC and Alex
After yearsss of waiting, Roast-Master Kaitlyn finally accepted the invitation to join the show. The sting of her quips was dulled only slightly by the coffee cake she served to us as she delivered her blows. Luckily, Dr. Kaitlyn also made an appearance and was there to mend us back together in the end!
69 minutes | Mar 20, 2020
Work from Home LIVE On-the-Job Coronavirus Special
The world is in quarantine. Employees across the globe are now working from home. Fresh out of the shadow of their bosses' supervision, the Clowns coalesce to create their first ever LIVE on-the-job podcast. Goat Arnav joins the special to give his unique perspective inside American hospitals and to help the guys formulate appropriate responses to the emails being received LIVE on-air. To our bosses' dismay, no real work is accomplished. Instead, a podcast is born. Stay healthy, my friends.
109 minutes | Jan 31, 2020
Guys red flags for guys
Alex is viciously attacked by a dog. TC bans Lapkins. We hate lacrosse players
85 minutes | Jan 11, 2020
The Twilight Zone
The guys return to the studio to discuss the perplexing dimension in which they've found themselves, early on in this new decade:  Prince Harry now plays for the Eagles.  Three goats are somehow playing Jeopardy.  Mono runs rampant in the Bachelor mansion. TC goes train hopping with the woman formerly known as the Duchess of Sussex. Alex steals the Mona Lisa. This is the middle ground between light and shadow -- between man's grasp and his reach; between science and superstition; between the pit of his fears and the sunlight of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area that might be called the Twilight Zone.
52 minutes | Dec 22, 2019
Return of the JJ
The end of an era
49 minutes | Dec 8, 2019
The Episode About Nothing
With nothing but a 45 minute timer and a starting point, the guys channel their inner Seinfeld to see just how wide-ranging and pointless their conversation could be.
120 minutes | Nov 15, 2019
To Beard or Not To Beard
Alex faces and age old dilemma. TC fights a dog. We belong on the green grass of Reed Quadrant
103 minutes | Oct 6, 2019
Jokers? Hardly know ers
Alex puts TC to the test. The first quarter of the NFL recap. We remake some movies.
105 minutes | Sep 11, 2019
Work Pictures
TC flirts with the idea of a quid pro quo as he gets involved in a dessert-tasting competition at work. Alex pitches a new movie idea Ferris Bueller would be proud of. The guys discuss the exciting new development that is Gardner Minshew (and other NFL news). The episode wraps up with a couple of new holiday ideas America is sure to fall in love with. 
96 minutes | Aug 27, 2019
Four Months till Star Wars
Alex bakes a brat. TC is attracted to the dark side. Bold predictions, bad takes, and big news galore
112 minutes | Aug 13, 2019
Fruit Snack Equality
Dr. Martin Luther Cain Jr. drops into the studio for his first appearance. The guys explore a new, Food Network-inspired segment they are calling TChopped. The episode wraps up with an exhilarating tour inside the walls of the generic, American work place. Timestamps:  2:10 - 20K+ Email Disaster 9:27 - TC hates Steve Perry's voice 13:53 - Tech Talk 21:13 - Dr. Cain arrives! 31:10 - Football is BACK 1:17:00 - TChopped 1:36:47 - Bachelor Update 1:36:58 - Mount Rushmore of office "guys"
81 minutes | Jul 16, 2019
Eyelins and urinals and funerals, oh my!
Alex gets intimidated. TC climbs a wall. The Area 51 business trip is on the horizon
79 minutes | Jun 28, 2019
Dunk Irk
The boys pitch a new monocle business that the world should keep an eye on. TC continues building his resume for a potential Webster's Dictionary career. A new movie title anagram segment is introduced. Finally, a list of Harry Potter pickup lines sure to work in the muggle world. TimeStamps: 8:30 - What if Prohibition came back? 15:05 - Monocle Business Pitch 25:10 - Shirt Tags 32:40 - Bachelorette 42:30 - NFL 51:20 - Movie Title Anagrams 1:04:56 - Harry Potter Pick-Up Lines
80 minutes | Jun 10, 2019
A High School Musical
The guys welcome on their youngest goats ever
127 minutes | May 15, 2019
Dobby and the Chamber of Secrets
Cain clan comes in full force in this in depth interview. Alex gives a nickname. TC forfeits his first name. Darby tells all. 
90 minutes | May 8, 2019
Mormon Girl
In this wide ranging episode, the guys reveal themselves as anti-dentites and join a book club. TC sends Star Wars memes to girls on Bumble, while Alex preps for a karaoke performance on international waters.  One day, 20 years from now, we will laugh at the descriptions of these episodes. I pray to the gods that our children never discover this treasure chest full of reasons to lose all respect for their old men. Cheers!
60 minutes | May 3, 2019
2019 Draft Recap
This one goes out to all the football adicts out there who just needs a fix. The two clowns and their goat have you this week. Just take a load off sit back with a glass of nice cold eggnog and enjoy.
71 minutes | Apr 24, 2019
Mark Heaths
In this instant classic, the guys interview their first super-fan, Mark Heaths, a man History will not soon forget. After reaching out on Twitter, the California-native makes a shocking revelation that shakes the foundation of the world as we know it. The first shots in a bloody war have been fired. May God watch over our souls.
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