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This is a topic that has been on Leslie and Leslyn’s list since starting the podcast. If you’re in a relationship whether it be only a few months or many, many years, there are challenges to being in a relationship.They start off the episode discussing the relationship issues surrounding fidelity. Leslyn shares that a huge percentage of people who deal with fidelity never even reach counseling for these issues. Those that do, Leslyn starts off the couple’s therapy by stating that if the couple is invested in saving the marriage and they do the work there is a 50% change that they can make that happen. It’s important to note that affairs do not happen in healthy relationship as the relationship is typically not vulnerable to someone outside of marriage if it is healthy. Leslyn continues by stating if we want to take care of something and keep it, it requires maintenance. We maintain our homes, cars, lawn, furnace, and even our own health. Why not a relationship? Everything that we want to keep requires maintenance and relationships should not be different.Bickering is another challenge that can face couples in a relationship. It’s important to understand what connotation bickering may hold for you. Bickering is unhealthy when it includes backstabbing or degrading comments about one another. Leslyn shares a story about a couple who fights all the time. For the husband, he picked up the pattern by watching is parents and saw it as a normal part of the relationship. While the wife had never seen her parents bicker or have a disagreement. You must find a middle ground that is comfortable for both sides.Criticism can often be more subtle downplays than seen in bickering. Criticism over time all by itself can be caner to a relationship, it breaks down the ego and esteem of the person who is being criticized. Leslyn states that no one want to be around you if they will feel less than when they are with you. This can bleed into the next point, name-calling. This can be called contempt and Leslyn believes it is the single most destructive thing that can happen in a relationship. Calling your significant other degrading and inappropriate things can break them down. When we allow ourselves to be treated this way or be disrespected, or if we are the one disrespecting a person who deserves human compassion, we can never start on the right foot. When you are mad if you feel that you must use that language, you can write it down and throw it out but do not speak it to the person that you just said I love you to.Another incredibly destructive thing to relationships is inattention. It often will be seen by one partner as something they were not aware of, which is probably part of the problem that is rising. If you are not paying attention, your partner can feel that. Checking in and making a connection with your loved one is crucial and can prevent things from turning into more of a roommate situation. Roommates will be good co-parents but do not make any time for each other. They are platonically connected but there is no romantic engagement occurring anymore. Absence in physicality can cause issues in a relationship. Without physical connection, problems ensue. Physicality of some kind is important in keeping passion and suggestion more alive in the relationship.Threats to leave is when the idea of plan B comes into play. How can someone feel safe and secure if their partner is threatening to leave or the person feels like they are being pushed away. Threats to leave are not usually coming from a place that the person could not survive without their partner but instead it is used as a control tactic or because fear of not getting what we want so we push people away. Usually the thing that we want is love.The last point, Leslyn shares is something that she would change in the world if she could and that is assumptions. When we make assumptions, we are anticipating a reaction based on an assumption that we have. Assumptions prevent you from living fully and make room for misinterpretations and mistakes. It is important to say that you can make assumptions if you have double checked and validated the assumption. Unvalidated assumptions are routed in discourse and leave the door open for disappointment.Today’s Try This at Home is to make sure that you cover this list with yourself and note if there are any pieces that need maintenance in your relationship. Check in with you partner and seek counseling if necessary.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: How to Maintain a Healthy MarriageOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Episode Notes:Leslie and Leslyn begin the episode explaining their interpretation of ‘life changing’ when it comes to books that have facilitated in personal growth and retrospection. These books did not incite dramatic life changing events but instead planted the seeds to grow.Leslie’s first book recommendation is Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits by Gretchen Rubin. Leslie shares the quote, “How we schedule our days is how we spend our lives.” It’s the biggest thing she learned from the book, as the little things that we do repeatedly everyday make a huge impact in our lives. Leslie also shares the quote, “The biggest waste of time is to do well in the thing that we need to do at all.” The overall message of the book is something that Leslie has thought about countless times.Leslyn’s first book recommendation is Complete Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue by Neale Donald Walsch. Leslyn shares the quote, “Religion asks you to learn from the experience of others, spirituality urges you to seek your own.” This book spoke to Leslyn and helped her seek her own understanding of what it means to be spiritual. Leslyn believes that this book took all the things that Leslyn believed in and loved about her Catholicism and her Christian faith and put it in a way that allowed her to consider a much broader understanding of what it meant for her to be a spiritual person. This is the book that Leslyn has recommended more than any other piece because it allowed her to open her mind.The second book recommendation from Leslie is Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams by Mark Batterson. The main focus of the text is surrounding prayer. Leslie’s takeaway is that before she was not as persistent with prayer as she would like to be. A quote that stood out for Leslie was, “Every miracle starts as a problem.” Often times we do not think about the problems and thing it will turn into something positive. This book, Leslie credits, for changing the way she thought about prayer and the things she saw she could improve and did improve on.Leslyn’s second book recommendation is Messages from the Masters by Brian Weiss. Written by a traditional psychotherapist, he found one of his patients when under hypnosis for pain began to recall past life traumas that seem to be the cause of her recurring nightmares and anxiety attacks. The takeaway for Leslyn is that love is never a dependency and at all times you can practice the experience of love. It helped Leslyn stay focused and grounded in love during some of the toughest time of her life.Leslie’s last book recommendation is Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All by Karen Ehman. Leslie originally became interested in this book as she finds she is a pretty open book about life and she sometimes forgets that not everyone is like that. This book helps a number of practical pieces and let Leslie understand that she didn’t need to tell everyone everything.Leslyn’s last book recommendation, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. The book is described as “a powerful new vision that encourages to dare greatly, to embrace vulnerability, and imperfection to live whole heartedly and courageously engage in our lives.” A powerful ideal, Leslyn shares the book talks about shame and how it is the cornerstone of disfunction. This book helped Leslyn expose herself and learn that it is okay to not hide behind things.This week’s Try This at Home is to discover what book recommendations you can identify with and what you should add to your next book list!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Marriage CancersOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Gretchen Rubin | Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits[https://www.amazon.com/Better-Than-Before-Habits-Procrastinate/dp/0385348630]Neale Donald Walsch The Complete Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue[https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Conversations-Neale-Donald-Walsch/dp/0399153292]Mark Batterson | The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears[https://www.amazon.com/The-Circle-Maker-Mark-Batterson-audiobook/dp/B006RVEP3E]Brian Weiss | Messages from the Masters: Tapping into the Power of Love[https://www.amazon.com/Messages-Masters-Tapping-into-Power/dp/0446676926]Karen Ehman | Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All[https://www.amazon.com/Keep-Shut-What-When-Nothing/dp/0310339642]Brené Brown | Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love Parent, and Lead[https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

On the last episode of Season 2 of Try This at Home, Leslie and Leslyn start off by reviewing some of the changes the podcast has faced in light of the COVID-19 pandemic and move into a reflection of the year as a whole. In the beginning of the second season, Leslie and Leslyn started by catching up and really defining the idea behind Try This at Home. The reasonings behind Try This at Home, and at this point the 80 Try This at Home’s that have been shared over the episodes, is to try to motivate the listener to think about what they can do at home to improve their overall quality of life.This improvement or change is not always an enormous one and often the most lasting changes in life come from the small things we do. Leslyn shares a quote by Confucius, “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” Lasting change is achieved by doing one thing at a time. This is eluded to in a number of the episodes specially seen in the episodes that cover random kindness, friendship, social media, and connection.Leslyn’s favorite episodes of the season were those that focused on deep introspective questions. Episodes such as passive permission, what is truth, and what is normal. While Leslie’s favorite episodes of the seasons revolved around the topics surrounding the pandemic as it has become a part of living history. Leslyn also shares that the podcasts covering pandemic life had the main focus of adaptation and patience. Another favorite of season two were the book review episodes at the beginning of the season. As an avid book lover, Leslie offers a book recommendation for the winter months called Dream Daughter by Diane Chamberlain. Leslyn gives the listeners a movie recommendation titled The Christmas Shoes.While we are still living the pandemic life, Leslie and Leslyn share their plans for the holidays and some of the big plans they have before the year is over. Leslie and Leslyn share that if you find yourself at home over the break and just need a little boost, some heavy thinking time, or even to stimulate some conversation around your dinner table, there are numerous episodes that offer you help on how to apply the little things in your life.By the time this episode is out, the election will be over and regardless of the outcome, you may find yourself needing to go back and listen to some of the Try This at Home’s episodes. Leslie and Leslyn recommend starting with the episodes on communication, negativity, and kindness. It’s important to remember that survival is about adaptation. Peace, love, joy, and connection does not come from defining right and wrong or creating a right or wrong argument. You must learn to look at differences and find a way to respect and accept those differences.This week’s Try This at Home is to pay attention to the little things that you can do to move mountains. What is your contribution to moving the mountains in your world?Join us again for season 3 coming back to your favorite steaming platforms February 2021!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: See You Next Season!!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Leslie’s Book Recommendation: The Dream Daughter by Diane Chamberlain[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37638145-the-dream-daughter]Leslyn’s Movie Recommendation: The Christmas Shoes[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330152/]Episodes to Reflect Back On:Try This at Home’s Episode 234: Coping with Disappointment[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/9/22/coping-with-disappointment]Try This at Home’s Episode 229: Fostering Positivity[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/8/19/229]Try This at Home’s Episode 220: Coping with Negativity[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/6/3/220-coping-with-negativity]Try This at Home’s Episode 202: Random Kindness[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/2/1/202-random-kindness]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Episode Notes:On last week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn shared some of the major problems that married couples can face and decided to continue this topic to focus on some of the healthy relationship aspects that help maintain a happy marriage. Leslie starts off the episode by sharing some advice that has saved her relationship a few times. When Leslie and her husband disagree on something, whoever feels the strongest on the situation will be what they decide on. This requires maturity and a real commitment to being honest about who truly cares more about the situation. Leslyn adds she often advises couples to rank how they feel on a scale of one to ten and the person who ranks high should be the one making the decision. If both parties have strong opinions on the situation a compromise must be created.To have a magic marriage, one must make it their job to learn how to communicate effectively. Leslie and Leslyn explain this point by discussing communication when it comes to wants and needs in the relationship. Following effective communication, magic marriage couples also show daily appreciation. Many couples that Leslyn has in her office often say they do not feel appreciated. Not feeling appreciated, outside of infidelity, is the single biggest complaints seen in unhealthy marriages. People who feel appreciated do not have broken marriages and it is critical to practice daily appreciation with your partner to maintain a healthy relationship.The number one recommendation that Leslyn offers to her couples is that they must have something as a couple to look forward to. This can be a vacation, a project around the house, a weekend away, or even a dinner date night. Couples should find something that they are jointly looking forward to, this can unite the couple to a similar vision of the future. Checking in and making sure you are on the same page with regularity also relates to the last point as being united to a future goal is important. It’s important to connect and check in to make sure that you are on the same page on a regular basis to maintain a healthy, happy relationship.The next way that helps maintain a healthy relationship is to always be invested in sharing at least one interest. As life goes on, it may not even seem obvious when an interest is no longer shared. When this happens, it is important to recognize when an interest has completely diverged, and course correct by reconnecting with another shared interest. Checking in with each other also shows up physically, where Leslyn believes things such as cuddling or checking in, in a similar manner is important to maintaining a happy marriage.Scheduling relationship maintenance time is also crucial to a healthy relationship. This can be in the form of date nights, a weekend away, or checking in with a marriage counselor or coach. Leslyn suggests that this must be on your calendar with a plan in place, a budget to follow, and completion of the time together. Having your partners back and showing loyalty benefit the couple immensely as well as forgiving often when it comes to mistakes. It’s important to remember that accidents and mistakes happen once, but when it repeats that action becomes a choice and now is a problem in the relationship. The last point to maintaining a healthy relationship is to let things go. Bringing up old stuff in the relationship will never amount to moving forward in the relationship.This week’s try this at home is to check in with your relationship to take part in a relationship tune-up. To have a healthy relationship, you communicate well, appreciate each other, have something to look forward to, regularly check in, share interests, cuddle often, have date nights, stay loyal, forgive, and let things go. When you are able to accomplish these things in your relationship, that is when it becomes a magic marriage.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Year End ReviewOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Week’s Try This at Home Episode: The Death of a Relationship[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/10/13/the-death-of-a-relationship]Try This at Home’s Episode 12: Communication Styles[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/16/communication-styles]Try This at Home’s Episode 13: 8 Rules for Better Communication[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/21/8-rules-for-better-communication]Try This at Home’s Episode 14: Getting Defensive – Part 1[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/25/getting-defensive-part-1]Try This at Home’s Episode 15: Getting Defensive – Part 2[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/25/getting-defensive-part-2]Try This at Home’s Episode 16: How to Win Fights[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/5/8/how-to-win-fights]Try This at Home’s Episode 17: Communication Pitfalls[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/5/8/communication-pitfalls]Try This at Home’s Episode 19: Listening Like a Champ[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/6/3/19-listening-like-a-champ]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5Q

In recent TikTok Lives, Leslyn consistently gets the questions ‘how do we find a good therapist’ and ‘can I work with you’. While it is certainly important to find a good therapist, there is a difference between the needs and what professional you should be searching for. Therapists help clients work through their specific issues and often clients go in knowing some of the areas that need to be worked on. While life coaches usually help their clients stay on track with their goals and can be beneficial for continual growth.To determine what professional would be most beneficial, it’s important to understand that there are all kinds of different therapists. Therapy is often called psychotherapy, counseling, or just therapy. Counseling is conducted by someone who is a highly trained and skilled healthcare professional. This healthcare professional receives training in diagnoses, problematic beliefs, behaviors, relationships, feelings, and sometimes even physiological responses. Many of these topics can be paused or triggered by past issues and self-destructive habits making therapy the place to dig under your current emotional spectrum to discover why the problems are there and how to repair them.All types of psychological counseling will be regulated by the state in which you live with most states giving licensure to healthcare professionals. Most often you need at least a master’s degree in a counseling related field this can be degrees such as mental health counseling, social work, marriage and family therapy, or psychology. During and after receiving a graduate degree, a specific number of clinical hours are needed depending on your state this could be anywhere from 2000 to 4000 clinical hours. If a professional has a PhD level often they will have a research and academic focus while PSYD, or doctorate in psychology, will be more clinically oriented. Other types of therapists can be LCSWs, LCPCs, or LPCs. A LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker, LCPC is a licensed clinical professional counselor, and an LPC is a licensed professional counselor. It’s important to really understand that a therapist, psychotherapist, or a mental health counselor who hold a license are highly trained medical professionals with clinical experience.When looking for a therapist, you may come across licensed and non-licensed counselors. A licensed counselor must be stated. If not licensed, anyone can take the title of counselor without even having the education required for licensure. Leslyn urges that if you are seeking counseling/psychotherapy to check out your state board licenses and confirm that the person you are speaking to is licensed in your state.When it comes to life coaches there is not a requirement to begin working as a life coach but Leslie and Leslyn offer a few tips on how to find a good coach. There are life coach programs that award certifications and Leslie think that a good coach would take the steps to go through some program or at least be seriously interested in educating themselves in coaching. Leslyn shares that if you can afford it, seeing someone who is a therapist and a life coach can be beneficial. All therapists can be life coaches as they are trained in the topics but not all life coaches can be therapists. A good life coach will recommend their clients to a specialist if a serious mental health issue is uncovered to consider psychotherapy options.When choosing the right therapist or coach, choose someone based on referrals or after researching and seeing their presence on the Internet. If your coach or therapist, does not have a presence online, reach out and ask for a free consultation. In this consultation you will want to be face-to-face (in-person, or virtually) as you need to establish a connection. Leslie brings a tip when starting therapy that you have to be prepared for some hard truths as sometimes what is most helpful is not the thing that you want to hear.This week’s Try This at Home is to make a mental note that if you are looking to uncover and recover seek a therapist but if you are looking to discover seek a life coach!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Books that Changed Us.One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Psychologist License Lookup State by State[https://www.psychologytoday.com]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Why am I here? It turns out identifying your life’s purpose can actually increase an overall sense of wellbeing. Pablo Picasso believes, “the purpose of life is to give it away.” While Oprah has been quoted saying, “There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling it’s why you were born and how you become most truly alive.” To live your most authentic life you must be your most authentic self. You have to find yourself and ask where you are most engaged in your most authentic self. It’s important to think about what the idea of having a purpose means.It has been established in previous episodes that scientists believe that having a sense of purpose is adaptive in evolutionary sense and helps the species along the way. People who research this idea believe that there are two things that create a sense of purpose. The first being the ways that you use your special gifts. In a previous episode discussion authenticity, and the value and action inventory assessment. In Leslyn’s Elevate class, participants each take the value and action inventory and focus on their top five values. When you integrate your values into your daily life you are going to feel as if you are striving to achieve your purpose. The second way to grow our purpose is through our connection to others.In a 2018 article in Greater Good Magazine, Jeremy Smith shares the six ways to find your purpose in life. The first thing he recommends is to read more. Reading connects people to a common thing and we often see ourselves in much of what we read. Leslyn always believes you should make time for something such as a self-help book, relaxation, or connection to fiction. The second way to find your purpose in life is to turn your hurts into healing. When you turn your hurts into healing often what happens is, we start to share that, and people begin to see a healing process that provides hope. The third thing that you can do to find your purpose in life it to cultivate gratitude. For Leslyn, gratitude is one of the attributes that will help you feel better especially when paired with moments of awe. Gratitude, awe, and altruism help us feel connected to something larger than ourselves.The fourth thing that Jeremy Smith point out that facilitate in finding life’s purpose is to listen to what other people appreciate about us. If we listen to the way that we impact others it can inform the purpose that we are giving the world that we might not personally value or be open to seeing. The next way to foster life’s purpose is to find and build a community. A community is available if you want it to be and is a very important aspect to your own purpose. The last thing that Jeremy recommends is to tell your story. When you tell your story or write it down and expand on it you can see the change and growth that you have accomplished. You can identify the obstacles that you have overcome, and you can truly rewrite the narrative if you need to.This week’s Try This at Home is this, if you have a sense of not knowing your purpose look more into the article referenced in the episode and engage in the process. Think about keeping a journal, strive to pay attention, be in awe, read, actively build a community, and write your own story!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Leslie and Leslyn’s Book Recommendations!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Try This at Home’s Episode #29: Living an Authentic Life[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/8/13/29-living-an-authentic-life]Try This at Home’s Episode #232: Personal Growth – The Elevate Class[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/9/8/personal-growth-the-elevate-class]Value and Action Inventory Assessment[https://www.viacharacter.org/]Jeremy Adam Smith | How to Find Your Purpose in Life[https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_your_purpose_in_life]Rick Warren | The Purpose Driven Life[https://www.amazon.com/Purpose-Driven-Life-What-Earth/dp/031033750X]Robin Sharma | The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari[https://www.amazon.com/Monk-Who-Sold-His-Ferrari/dp/0062515675]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

On this week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn cover the topics surrounding disappointment. Leslyn starts out by saying that disappointment is a fact of life and shares that if the listeners takes anything from this episode it should be that it’s really important to understand that you cannot and will not avoid disappointment.Disappointment is the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations. Leslyn likes to think about the research around disappointment where it is seen as a form of sadness, feeling of loss, or uncomfortable space. Disappointment is the space between our expectations and our reality.Leslie shares an article from the Harvard Business Review that believes we handle disappointment in a few ways. Some people seek to avoid disappointment so much that they basically become underachievers setting the bar low enough that it can be hard to be disappointed. Leslyn adds on this end of the spectrum you have people who do not want to disappoint themselves and therefore do not try. On the other end of the spectrum, you have people who do not want to disappoint others and have this need to be perfect. While underachievers are afraid of disappointing themselves, overachievers are afraid of disappointing someone else.Understanding disappointment can help us learn a lot about ourselves. It turns out that disappointment and expectations go hand in hand as there seems to be a correlation in the data to how much happiness people report in research studies. In essence, we are unhappy because our expectations of reality exceed our experiences of reality.When looking at disappointment it’s critical to understand that many things we often find ourselves expressing disappointment for are things that are completely and totally outside of our control. Sometimes you have to sit back and ask yourself when you are disappointed is this inside or outside of my control.The most important aspect of disappointment for Leslyn is the expectations that we have for ourselves. What are the expectations that you have for yourself? Leslie shares that recently she is disappointed and not reaching her expectation of finishing her to-do lists in the past few months. Leslyn raises ideas from an episode at the beginning of the pandemic, link below. The idea that we have adapted our lives for the shifts occurring during the pandemic, but we did not adapt our expectations of our lives. This is a time that we are all feeling disappointments as life is not the way that it is as well as people are experiencing their own disappointments that we must keep that in mind.This week’s try this at home is to be thoughtful and include a little bit of grace to others and yourself as we adapt to this new world that we live in. Take a moment to look at the things that you are disappointed abut and find those who identify each of those elements of disappointment. Figure out what you have control over and what you don’t. The things you do not have control over, process the sadness, and step away and remember that being disappointed and disappointing other people is a part of being human.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Finding Your PurposeOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Try This at Home’s Episode: Those Who Adapt, Survive[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/8/3/227-those-who-adapt-survive]Harvard Business Review | Dealing with Disappointment[https://hbr.org/2018/08/dealing-with-disappointment]TEDX | Nate Ware: Why We’re Unhappy – The Expectation Gap[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KiUq8i9pbE&ab_channel=TEDxTalks]Glennon Doyle | Untamed[https://www.amazon.com/Untamed-Glennon-Doyle-Melton/dp/1984801252]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

On this week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn tackle regret and the ways that it impacts life and what we can do about it. It is reported that more than 90% of people hold onto a big regret in life. Regret by definition is a negative cognitive or emotional state that consist of blaming ourselves for a bad outcome that occurred, feelings of loss or sorrow on what could have been and wishing that we could undo a previous choice we had made.Leslyn shares that the fact of the matter is, the thing that you may regret you did for a reason. Given the exact same circumstances and no knowledge of what the future holds, many would make the same decision again that they are stuck regretting right now. Leslyn admits that she does feel regret, but she shares that it is important not to hold on to the regret and to keep regretting. If Leslyn feels regret, it’s only momentary and she works to correct the regret she holds. Leslyn challenges the listeners that if they are feeling that they are carrying regret they can follow the following exercise.Close your eyes and take yourself back to that exact moment that you hold regret for. Imagine that you are faced with the decision that you made or didn’t make. Ask yourself, would I do this again if not given any knowledge of the decision’s future consequences?Leslie shares that when we look at short period of time, we often tend to have more regrets. If we look at longer periods of time, more time has gone by and we know that things turned out despite decisions that we had made. It’s all about perspective. Leslie raises the idea that we rarely every regret and think that things in life could have been worse if you would have chosen differently. Leslyn adds that there is a lot to learn from regret as it is a way of saying we need to pay attention. For example, if you have done something that causes pain to someone else, you may feel regretful about that. This is an indication that you can grow and it’s important to reach out and say sorry to that person and do what you can to repair the situation.It’s also incredibly important to learn how to allow us to get it wrong sometimes. You must remember to be kind to yourself when you get it wrong. Regret also appears when we have a sense of loss or sorrow of what might have been. When making a conscientious choice to do one thing and it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to turn out it might feel like you could have had control over the experience. Most of the time you have control over and make decisions in a conscious manner and it’s important to remember that the result can be imperfect sometimes.This week’s Try This at Home is to look at all the things that you regret in life and apply this though process to each one of them. Leslyn tells clients to write down all the things that you think you regret and then go through the exercise understanding the reason why you made the decision you did. Then ask yourself, if you had no knowledge of the future and you had to make the decision again, would you make the same decision? It’s a really good chance that you will make the same decision so it’s important to understand how to make peace with it and move on!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: DisappointmentOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Week’s Episode: Personal Growth- The Elevate Class[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/9/8/personal-growth-the-elevate-class]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

In this episode, we discuss…Show Intro [0:01]Introductions—Elevate! [0:12]Start of the Podcast [0:42]Something Missing in Life Coaching [2:19]Elevate Class Creation [4:53]Maintaining Sustainable Happiness [5:39]Where Counseling Got Its Start [6:59]What Is the Elevate Class? [10:57]Who Is My Best Self? [11:19]VIA Strengths Inventory [17:12]Self-Awareness [18:31]Self-Care [18:48]Mindfulness [20:17]Gratitude [20:43]Belonging [24:25]Love and Relationships [25:14]Spirit Selves [25:28]Redefine Happiness [26:29]Wrapping Up the Course [27:17]Rebrand of the Course [31:21]Try This at Home [32:58]Closing Thoughts [35:03]Outro [37:07]Episode Notes:On this week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn discuss what is missing in life coaching and how Leslyn has created a course to help supplement the space between counseling and life coaching when it comes to personal growth. A major aspect of the Try This at Home podcast is the theme surrounding personal growth and self-awareness. Introspection is an intricate part of growth.Leslyn noticed a few years ago that when she had clients who got to a space where they felt better, their anxiety was managed, depression had lifted, and or the relationships in their lives were working. Her clients often find that there is still this feeling of not knowing what to do from that point. Clients would feel better and stop going to therapy but would still find issues on how to continue that same mental momentum.Leslyn found that life coaching often sits in the arena of career counseling where few clients have access to life coaching that specifically focuses on the self. Leslyn created the Elevate Class to help individuals sustain the good peaceful feeling that has been built when finishing counseling. The Elevate Class largely focuses on teaching people how to sustain a sense of wellbeing in their life.The Elevate Class is a ten-week course that has an hour to hour and a half commitment to developing the skills to sustain happiness. This includes video instruction, articles, and journal prompts to complete. The Elevate Class is a coaching course meaning that every single day for 70 days you are inspired and motivated to work on something that is prompting though about what happiness means in your own life. In the first week, Leslyn focuses on defining happiness by asking the question, who is my best self?In the second week of the course, the VIA Strength Assessment is taken by students to determine their five core strengths in life. Leslyn shares that our core strengths are intrinsic to the person that we are and it’s important to make sure they exist in our day-to-day life. In week three, there is a focus on self-awareness which is reflected in the podcast is incredibly important to both Leslie and Leslyn.In week four, Leslyn shares can be a very interesting week as most people are realizing the amount of work the course takes. Leslie adds that this course acts as the ultimate self-care as it is your daily dose of self-care every day for ten weeks. Leslyn intentionally designs the course to work as a funnel that many students will experience a light bulb moment during. In week five mindfulness is the focus as there is no substitution for the value of deep breath and being able to ground yourself and come to the present.Gratitude is the focus of week six of the course and over the week the impact of gratitude hits the student as through research it is demonstrated that people who practice gratitude are happier. In week seven, the course focuses on belonging. This can be challenging for some Leslyn states as, as humans we are hardwired with the need to belong. This perfectly transitions into week eight of love and relationships.In week nine of the course, the topic surrounds our spirit selves. The research seems clear that people who believe in or have some sort of faith report higher levels of wellbeing. In the last week of the course, Leslyn and the students redefine happiness after nine weeks of introspection.In this week’s Try This at Home invest in personal growth in a way that works for you that can be regular and consistent. Personal growth and personal training for happiness is almost a necessity if you want to be healthy!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: ???One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Leslyn’s The Elevate Class (Class Begins Friday, September 11, 2020!)[https://theelevateclass.com/]VIA Strength Assessment[https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Episode Notes:On this week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn focus predominately on the ladies to ask the question, what does it mean for women to empower women? It’s an extremely interesting topic when really examining, it can get a little complicated. At the core, it’s really about the question, how do we lift one another up? Leslyn states that we often carry the “mean” girls scenario or attitude into adulthood where we try to compete against each other, and it can become really ugly. What is women empowering women then and what impact can it have?Leslyn when she hears women empowering women, she thinks to how life is often a competition to be prettier, more successful, a better mother, and so many other things. We don’t spend enough time actually encouraging one another. Leslie shares that the basic definition of women empowering women is equipping and allowing women to make life-determining decisions through the different problems in society.Leslie questions why we do that when there seems to be much bigger problems that women are facing. Things such as not receiving equal pay as our male counterparts, basic human rights, access to clean water, and more. Leslyn wonders if much of this has to do with this idea that for most of humanity, the opportunities available to women have been extremely limited so we all can get stuck scrambling over each other trying to get to the top.Leslyn believes instead that we should be trying to create a ladder to reach success. Although there have been many opportunities given through the women’s liberation movement, we haven’t quite broke through the glass ceiling of equalization. Leslie shares that on Instagram a hashtag called #communityovercompetition has been started with the purpose to build communities instead of competing against each other.Leslie continues that unfortunately the people in her real life who seem to use that hashtag are often the most cutthroat, competitive, and backstabbing people. Even when we are trying to do the right thing by creating a community of women, it seems that there are still women who will be critical. How do we stop that and instead lift one another up? What would that look like?Leslyn believes that we can really take home the idea of trying to empower, lift up, and encourage the women in our world on the day-to-day. Leslie shares a list of things she believes can help in empowering the women around us. Not commenting on women’s bodies in a negative way and focusing on other attributes she has as well. Leslyn believes that the point is if you are going to make a comment about a women’s body, you want to talk about the positives.Paying women equally is also a big feat that all women might face in their lives. Leslie shares that we should advocate for our female colleagues and friends when needed. If you know that your female counterpart or colleague is being paid less, you should speak up for them. It’s not about the disempowerment of men it’s about lifting up women through empowerment.Helping women by encouraging and supporting them to prioritize their self-care can also be extremely important to a women’s empowerment. This helps also when knowing your own worth. Women empowering women is all about encouragement, support, and motivation. This week’s Try This at Home is to make sure that you are doing something consciously to empower the women in your life. Encourage her to live her dream, motivate her to be her best self, and encourage a positive self-image!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: The Elevate ClassOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Try This at Home’s Episode on Fostering Positivity[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/8/19/229]Try This at Home’s Episode on Self-Care is First Aid[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/2/12/self-care-first-aid]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Recently on TikTok, a creator attempted to explain a side of what is called narcissistic abuse. A lot of viewers, especially those with experience with narcissist felt as though the creator was victim blaming. Victim blaming can be a very serious issue. We all know what victim blaming looks like in cases of assault and abuse but in today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn focus a big part on the victim blaming that is not as overt and in your face. Leslyn continues that we are all victims at some point by definition. Anybody who has harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime or accident, is defined as a victim blaming. Also defined as victim blaming is a person who has been tricked, duped, or lied to. Victim blaming is when we say that somebody else’s behavior somehow generated an action taken.Leslie and Leslyn discuss a video segment discussing the idea of manipulation that occurs in a relationship involving a narcissist. The creator attempted to say the person with the narcissist is also very manipulative. Leslie immediately states that in a lot of these narcissistic relationships, the other person involved is not aware of the narcissistic behaviors immediately and sometimes for a very long time. Leslie continues saying that she feels that this creator’s argument sounds very premeditated but has the feeling that often people aren’t even aware of the behaviors. Leslyn agrees that this is exactly the point. When the word manipulation is used it implies intent.Leslyn gives the example of if a narcissist says that they will go find someone else if the other member of the relationship doesn’t do something. This is going to generate deep-rooted fears in the victim causing the victim to feel fears of being left, being alone, or being unworthy. The victim fears this and that will drive a corresponding behavior to the narcissist. Leslyn goes on to say that generally this is a codependent behavior that is unconscious and often the person is unaware of the behavior.Leslyn shares another TikTok creator’s video on the topic to show how the first video fell flat in its argument. This creator believes that you are not responsible for the way that someone chooses to treat you, but you are responsible for the boundaries, values, and self-defense you put in place. The creator gives the example of leaving your door to your home open and unlocked. You could trust and hope that no one is going to steal and destroy your home but what if they do? What if it continues to happen and you just continue to repair your home without putting consequences on the situation? You must start locking your door. This works similarly to toxic relationships you must take the steps to protect yourself once you are aware of the abuse.Leslie shares that it’s important to remember that even if you leave your front door unlocked and someone comes in and steals, that is still wrong. Leslyn adds but if you continue to leave your door unlocked and continued to feel attacked by someone it never means it is okay but what it does mean is that you need to take steps to protect yourself from it happening again. There are things that we can do to protect ourselves and not be totally at the mercy of how others treat us.Leslyn gives another example. If you are driving down the interstate and are staying in your lane maybe you get distracted and look at your phone, GPS, or someone in the car. If somebody comes across and into your lane and you don’t swerve in time, are you fully a victim? Is there some responsibility needed to be taken for not being attentive enough to be defensive? It’s not your fault of course, but you do need to honor the fact and be honest that you were not paying attention that is not victim blaming.This week’s Try This at Home is to make it your mission to become self-aware. Understand why you allow people to treat you badly and learn how to create healthy boundaries. Understand what that might look like and grow your self-esteem. Don’t allow yourself to be victimized beyond the event that occurred. Take the time that you need to heal because it hurts when you are a victim but then forgive yourself and redirect. Focus on awareness, understanding, and growth!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Women Empowering WomenOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Try This at Home’s Episode on Building Boundaries![https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/8/building-boundaries]Henry Cloud | Boundaries[https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Updated-Expanded-When-Control/dp/0310351804/ref=as_li_ss_tl?keywords=boundaries&qid=1554900990&s=gateway&sr=8-1&linkCode=sl1&tag=thisisleslyn-20&linkId=7d31436c3b0ba142b999703b09950247&language=en_US]Dr. Kristin Neff | Self-Compassion Website[https://self-compassion.org/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Last week, Leslie and Leslyn discussed adaptation. In today’s episode, they focus on the bigger picture by covering the concept of resilience in more detail to facilitate with strengthening the listener’s own resilience. In the current world, it is important to observe that no matter what is happening for you right now, there are at least one or two blessing you can savor allowing you to adjust the lens on your worldview. Like gratitude, emotional awareness and optimism are needed to maintain resilience.Leslie and Leslyn break down resilience into 9 components. Optimism, as Leslyn points out is something that you may feel is hard to achieve especially if you believe that you are not an optimist. What we do know though is that optimism can be learned, and you do not have to necessarily be optimistic by default.Resilience to Leslyn is the ability to bounce back when difficult things are dealt to you. The definition psychologically is the process of adapting while in the face of adversity. Adversity can be defined by a number of factors but ultimately can occur due to any significant source of stress. To have the confidence and to feel like you have the ability to bounce back, you want to differentiate from being exhausted and or unmotivated. When we are tired, we often can find ourselves feeling like we are not strong enough or we cannot do a task. The single most important thing to do is to look at your past and look at all the times that you were able to 100% survive your worst days.To have resilience you must have control of self. Leslyn preaches the idea of self-mastery in many of the discussions as nothing can change unless you get control over how you approach, engage, and reach to situations. The willingness to adapt was discussed in detail in last week’s episode.While the willingness to be flexible can be actively letting go of some of your rigidity in life. Leslyn shares that many of her clients who are depressed or anxious could really benefit from learning how to be flexible. Leslyn gives the example of driving specifically what she calls defensive driving. If someone is not paying attention, you must be able to act quick and at a moment’s notice change lanes or brake if needed. The willingness to be flexible is a lot like defensive driving for your life.Having the ability to solve problems, especially your own problems can lead to resilience. Some problems you will not have the power to solve but there are also times when there are opportunities to collectively contribute to solving problems. Leslyn relates this to Magic Eye books, that are 3D illusion books that you can only identify things if the image is looked at in a certain way. Problem solving to someone else’s problems works a lot like a Magic Eye book. You can see the problem and you want them to see the problem like you do so you often will push for that solution. The person holding the problem may not be looking at the situation in the same way as you. If you allow them the ability to find the solution, they will be able to find their own path to resolving their problem.Emotional awareness is a major foundation to resilience. Leslyn shares that if the listeners remember nothing else, it is important for the listeners to develop a self-awareness as nothing can change without it. With the current times, social support can play a major role in the resilience people have now. People need family and friends for support, but we must remember to engage in ways that protect us and keep our loves ones safe. This week’s try this at home is to go forth and be a weeble as weebles wobble, but they do not fall down! Meaning now more than ever it is important to take our current situations and learn to strengthen and master our resilience.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Fostering Positivity in Your LifeOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Week’s Episode’s 227 Those Who Adapt, Survive[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/8/3/227-those-who-adapt-survive]Magic Eye Books[https://www.magiceye.com/about-lists/]Weebles Wobble Commerical[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq0OQBdIhsc]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn start by discuss Leslyn’s birthday plans for a milestone birthday. Leslyn shares that it is not going as originally planned, she was planning on going to Italy and being surrounded by loved ones. With the pandemic in full swing, her plans have had to change and Leslyn has adapted to an Italian night at home!With the pandemic, Leslyn shares that many seem to be concerned with their drinking and she wonders if it is a subconscious reaction to all of the stress that we are feeling right now. There is an elevated understanding that we are stressed during this time and when we correlate our stress with alcohol we get concerned.There are so many unknowns in the world today. The country has been left questioning many things, but the most important questions right now are surrounding children and whether they should be going back to school. In these times, we are faced with stressors and fears in our personal health but now the added stress of children’s education and safety are coming to the main stage.Leslie shares her discomfort in sending her children back because her school district is not mandating mask wearing for children. Leslyn adds that she has many clients who are teachers and are worried about the risk they will be bringing home to their loved ones. There is also the fears of immunocompromised teachers and children and if they should be back in school. There are worried for parents on how they will juggle e-learning if they do decide to not send their children back. This also has the worries of parents who do not even have the option for their children to do e-learning as they may be essential workers.The fears of the educational impacts that the pandemic will have on children’s learning and if that will cause children to be held back is also a great concern. Leslyn believes that the part for her that is so challenging about this is that there is no answer that solves all the problems that have arose. If you send children back to school, you are putting lives in danger but if you do not send children back to school you are putting people’s livelihoods in danger. Leslyn says that we are back to the topic discussed last week on the human cost that the virus has brought to everyday life.With all of these changes it is important to understand what thriving looks like in this new reality. Thriving is not going to look like what it used to. We must learn to adapt. Adaptation does not mean that you are going to sit around and wait for how things used to be. Instead, adaptation takes a set of circumstances and decides where to go from there to get where you want to be. It’s like learning how to take lemons and make lemonade.Leslyn continues that if we want to talk about thriving, we have to lean into our fears. There are so many conversations right now in Leslyn’s practice that revolve around fear. Franklin Roosevelt said, “There is nothing to fear except for fear itself.” Fear prevents us from moving and if we are not moving, we are not growing.Our new normal is not going to look the way that we thought it would look but it is going to be okay. We work with the best that we have and adapt to the circumstances. Every part our our life right now cannot be based on what we have done or did. It has to be based on the current conditions that we are facing. This week’s try this at home is to really consider what you need to do to stop waiting for things to go “back to normal” and then adapt your life to thrive!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Building ResilienceOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Episode 226: Cancel Culture[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/7/28/226-cancel-culture]Episode 32: Facing Fear[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/8/29/1]The Martian | Movie Trailer[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej3ioOneTy8]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn tackle the term cancel culture coming from their discussion a few weeks back in episode on passive permission. So, what exactly is cancel culture? Leslie pulls a definition from The Telegraph where Tanya Gold defines it as so, “This is cancel culture. The phenomenon where if someone says something you think is appalling you not only protect but you also seek to remove the perpetrators livelihood and sometimes their life. Physical threats are important but are often dismissed because they are online.”Leslie follows this by giving a recent example of this with the company Goya Foods after the president of the company shared a belief that many disagree with. This has caused many to stop buying Goya Foods products and can be a reason why cancel culture can make sense to exist or at least see why people believe it’s viable.Leslie continues that as a small business owner, you realize the impact that your money has when you step into the small business environment. It makes sense that if someone gives you bad service or you do not like something that you can choose to not spend your money with that company. Leslyn adds that like with passive permission, if there is no consequence where is the motivation for the poor behavior to change? Leslie shares an example from involving her own company before posing the questions, when do we allow for change to come in? If someone does something, shouldn’t we give them the opportunity to change? If we take cancel culture to the extreme, what’s next?Leslyn agrees that an all or none mentality is not healthy but gives the example of choosing to go to a restaurant. If you go to a restaurant and they do not provide good service or your server was bad, you may try that restaurant again. But if the same experience of service happens again, you probably will not go back to that restaurant. This is basically boycotting, and in a free market system supply and demand is crucial. In order to generate demand, you must serve your consumer it’s not a new thing.Leslyn continues that in times when we disagree with a company or person but support their product we often are put between a rock and a hard place. Do you sacrifice your value to have the things you love, or do you give up the things you love to support your values? It really depends on the situation and the person choosing to honor their values or look the other way for things they love or want.Leslyn gives another example, if someone says I’m sorry and they won’t do something again, then go on to demonstrate that with their behavior by not doing it again then we can accept that. The problem comes when the person does not change their behavior and the sorry then becomes meaningless, leaving us with a different problem.Leslie shares the example of the actress, Jodie Comer who has been trending on Twitter as people are wanting to cancel her. Not because of anything she has done but because she is dating a Republican, Trump supporter. Jodie Comer herself has not done anything necessarily to be cancelled but she’s dating someone who has political beliefs that are aligning with the president. So where is the line for cancel culture?Leslyn takes this into the arena of what is happening in our worlds right now and the division that is existing. There no longer is a middle of the road position on topics. People have come to the center taken a stand and gone all the way to one side. Going back to the example, Leslyn says psychologically speaking, if you are dating someone who is a Trump supporter that says a lot about your choices and about you as a person. Leslyn thinks that is what is happening here that people are making their values clear due to the actress’s choice.After the last election, Leslyn shares that couple’s therapy went through the roof because someone voted for Trump or a family has ultra conservative parents and super liberal children. It seems upsetting that we would become so unaccepting, but where is the line in all this? If someone is violating your values, you have the right to set a boundary.Leslie shares her fear and worries that nobody would care if people did not think they could get back to where they were after cancel culture. Leslyn replies that when she hears these worries, she thinks of things like prison reform especially for the more socially irresponsible things. That poses the question then, does a felon every have an opportunity for true reform in a world that they have to disclose that they are a felon?Leslie says that knowing that cancel culture exists should be the wake-up call to examine where you are, where you are spending your money, and who you are reporting. Leslie and Leslyn both hope that the listeners will really sit back and think about this idea of cancel culture. Leslyn sees that the values are shifting in our culture. It’s one thing to agree to disagree over something like wall color or piercings but when it comes to a value of humanity it seems a stronger stance is needed. Leslyn continues that she believes what is happening is that we are navigating our values as a society at this moment in time.Leslie and Leslyn hope that they have given you something to think about today when it comes to cancel culture. Listen back to the passive permission episode where Leslie and Leslyn discussed change with our commerce behavior as this is the other side or an extension of this topic. This week’s Try This at Home is to check your value system and your behaviors especially when it comes to your consumer behavior. Notice if it matches your value system and make very conscious and intentional decisions that you can live with!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Women Empowering WomenOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Episode 212: Passive Permission[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/3/15/210-passive-permission-what-is-it]The Telegraph | Much of Cancel Culture is Unserious – but the Effect on Us All is Chilling[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/much-cancel-culture-unserious-effect-us-chilling/]Progressive Shopper | Chrome Extension[https://progressiveshopper.com/]The Stand | Stephen King[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/149267.The_Stand]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn sit down and discuss codependency after last week’s discussion on narcissism. Although we all have a little codependency in us, it can get unhealthy very quick and often times without us even realizing it.Leslyn defines codependency as a behavioral condition in a relationship. Codependency is a relational disorder where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or underachievement. Codependency is an excessive reliance on the other person for approval or sense of identity.In today’s discussion, Leslie and Leslyn focus on the more subtle signs of codependency to make the listeners aware of some of the missed red flags. If you see yourself in any of the signs, don’t panic! Just understand that there may be things that you need to look at in order to get your levels back into a healthy space.Having difficulty identifying your feelings can be produced over time when you feel like your feelings do not matter in the relationship. This can lead to having difficulty making decisions as you become too worried or worried about if your decision is the ‘right’ decision. The classic example of this is choosing where you want to go out to eat. If last time you chose a restaurant your partner complained the whole time and this becomes a pattern, this can leave you to start having difficulties making decisions.Sometimes you can have a difficulty communicating in the relationship because of past experiences with alcoholic or narcissistic parents. Sometimes you go into a relationship as a codependent but sometimes this can develop in a relationship with an alcoholic or narcissistic partner. Over time these patterns develop causing an inability to communicate and your identity and feelings will feel like they are not relevant.Another sign of codependency can be valuing the approval of others more than you value yourself. Think about how many times you have made a decision to go to a party even though you were exhausted because you didn’t want someone else to be mad at you. Over time a lack of trust in yourself and poor self-esteem can develop, and this comes from an absence of validation either during childhood, past events, or during the relationship.Poor self-esteem can make a codependent have feelings of abandonment or excessive need for approval from others. The last sign of codependency is an exaggerated sense of responsibility of other’s actions. Codependents think that they have the capacity to make things better for the other person. Leslyn shares that enabling behavior is rarely seen in a healthy relationship. It’s important to reiterate that there are elements of codependency in all of us it only becomes a problem when it reaches unhealthy levels.So how do you start to discover if you may have some elements of unhealthy codependency?1. Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner’s needs?2. Is it difficult to say no when your partner demands your time and energy?3. Do you cover your partner’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?4. Do you constantly worry about other people’s opinions of you? Do you worry that people will judge you?5. Do you feel trapped in your relationship?6. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?If you see yourself saying yes to most or all of these questions, Leslyn strongly recommends that you check in with a therapist but at the very least check out some of the resources below. First and foremost, you must learn how to set boundaries and the book recommendations below can help you start to develop healthy boundaries. You have Leslie and Leslyn’s support if you need further mental health resources. In today’s Try This at Home, evaluate your level of codependency and if there’s a lot of red flags appearing, make sure that you seek some help.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Cancel Culture and ChangeOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Last Week’s Episode 224: Narcissism[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/7/7/224-narcissism-a-frank-discussion]Melody Beattie | Codependent No More[https://melodybeattie.com/books/codependent-no-stop-controlling-others-start-caring/]Melody Beattie | The New Codependency[https://melodybeattie.com/books/new-codependency-help-guidance-todays-generation/]Episode 11: Building Boundaries[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/8/building-boundaries]Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion | Guided Meditations and Exercises[https://self-compassion.org/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Episode Notes:In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn tackle narcissism. One of the reasons that Leslyn wanted to cover this topic is she has seen a lot of people on TikTok that have been suffering the consequences of having been in a relationship with a narcissist. What really is a narcissist?To be diagnosed as having a narcissistic personality disorder 5 of these traits must be met. Someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder has an exaggerated sense of self-importance. With this, they have a sense of entitlement that needs consistent admiration. A person who has a narcissistic personality disorder is preoccupied with fantasies of power, brilliance, and success. They want to be recognized and believe they are superior to others. This superiority causes them to belittle or look down on people that they perceive as less than. The person may expect special favors and request an unquestioning compliance to their demands. A person with a narcissistic personality disorder may take advantage of others to get what they want and have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the feeling of others. The person may believe people envy them and will behave in an arrogant manner or insist on having the best of anything.Leslie shares that narcissism is pervasive. Anyone can be a star these days on any social media platform. It seems some people are overly interested into this idea and desperately want to be a star themselves. Leslyn explains that these are definitely the kind of things we think about when we think of narcissism but there is one that people often miss. Leslyn wants to look at narcissism in suburbia. This setting for narcissism is more damaging to the emotional psyche, especially to the kids being raised by a narcissistic parent or the partners of narcissistic people.Leslyn encourages the listeners to look up Dr. Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist from Harvard who wrote the book, Rethinking Narcissism. In the book, Dr. Malkin shares a narcissist test that can also be found at his website, or in the links below.Leslyn shares that having confidence does not equate to narcissism. Narcissist though, must get their egos stroked at another people’s expense. In an unhealthy, pathological narcissist, you will often see destruction and a lot of broken people around them. A pathological narcissist does not know how to take a backseat to their children or spouse’s success. There always must be a one-up in the scenario. Leslyn hopes this episode will help the listeners understand that having self-confidence is not narcissistic as long as it is balanced with humility.When living with a narcissist, life is not all gold, it often can be little things that add up to a whole lot of hurt. For Leslyn, her ex-husband was a narcissist. Leslyn ended up giving up her dreams for him to shine and always had to be outranked by him. A lot of people may resonate with this. Leslyn sees women who are active clients who are getting out of narcissistic marriages and are trying to recover their spirit. This has been a long timeframe in their lives of feeling less than so their partner can feel more than. Leslyn adds that in her research the saddest realization is that narcissist often is are the way they are because they feel empty inside.Leslyn shares that codependency and narcissism are both born out of the same deficits and often are drawn together. The problematic elements of codependency are born out of the desire to be loved. A narcissist wants to be loved as well and the codependent is willing to give all admiration to the narcissist while the narcissist won’t give any of that energy back. It can be toxic and destructive. Both codependency and narcissism can be recoverable unless it becomes pathological.If after taking Dr. Craig Malkin’s narcissism test you find out you have some narcissistic tendencies that are unhealthy, you can absolutely reverse those or change those so that they become healthier. Leslie and Leslyn both agree that awareness is the first step. Knowing that you have these narcissist tendencies is super important to make the right steps forward.Would you like the possibility of winning Dr.Craig Malkin’s book Rethinking Narcissism? Reach out to Leslie and Leslyn on social media or on their website and let them know that you have a narcissistic partner and you need to learn more about it. You will be entered into a drawing for a FREE copy of Rethinking Narcissism!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: What is a CoDependent?One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Dr. Craig Malkin | Narcissism Test[http://www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-narcissism-test]Dr. Craig Malkin | Rethinking Narcissism[http://www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book]Dr. Craig Malkin | Website[http://www.drcraigmalkin.com/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher! and iHeart Radio

Episode Notes:In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn share three of their top rules that they live by each day. It’s important to understand your three major values that you try to live by. Leslyn shares her first rule which is to live with integrity. Just like all the life rules shared today, a lot of things in life can fall under the heading of one major life rule.Kindness is one that both Leslie and Leslyn share and try to live by. Try to be kind and look at a situation from every angle while trying to be empathetic. Leslyn shares that kindness to her feels like a basic element of humanity. Can you think of a time when extending kindness could not be a requirement? Leslie shares she has the tendency of giving the benefit of a doubt most of the time but not with people who are not kind. Leslie defines being kind as trying to make life good for other people through the interactions we have. Leslie continues by sharing an example of trying to practice kindness even in a less than pleasant situation.Leslie shares another rule she tries to live by which is to live according to her faith. As a Christian, every aspect of her life she tries to live according to her faith. One of the key elements for Leslie is to surround herself with people who hold similar core principles as her even if that shows up in different ways. Leslyn shares that even though her spiritual practices do not fall under most Christian thinking; she tries to walk the path that Christ demonstrated.Leslyn’s last rule she tries to live by is honesty. For Leslyn, it is less about people lying to her and more about individual’s ability to be honest with themselves. If people, try to stay more honest in their life this can fall under other life rules such as integrity. Leslyn continues that all of her rules seem to fit tightly together. Integrity, honesty, and kindness are interwoven.Leslie shares her last rule is to focus on family. This is something you have to be thoughtful with especially when teaching your children things like what respect means to your family. Leslie and Leslyn suggest that you sit back and put thought into what is important to you and what is the big rule that seems to be at the top of all of your values. Leslyn shares for example that if someone has integrity and kindness, they most likely are also going to be respectful.Leslyn recommends to anyone listening once you have defined your life rules you should communicate them to the people you care about. Such as if you see honesty as a big deal you would want to communicate that and also communicate how to define that.This week’s Try This at Home is to consider what your values are. If you need help, check out the linked values worksheet below! Determine what values are important for you, communicate, and refine them into what you live by. You should also try to communicate those values to the people you love so they can better understand what those values mean to you and how they will show up in their life!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: NarcissismOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Check out #202 on Random Acts of Kindness![https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/2/1/202-random-kindness]Worksheet on Valueshttps://www.banyantherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Partner-Handout-1-%E2%80%93-A-Guide-to-Creating-Values.pdfCan’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher!

Leslie and Leslyn agreed that the podcast needed an episode about something lighter. Our playfulness and silliness often are tampered down when we are adults. We are often told we are supposed to grow up and get serious. Leslyn points out that for some, this can actually bury a part of our personality that we use to cope with things. For the episode, Leslie had the idea of picking a few things on how they are each silly and living joyfully. These days, Leslyn is trying to be more fun and let go, so she created a TikTok!The majority of Leslyn’s TikTok’s are inspirational tidbits on how to communicate or have a better relationship. The essence of TikTok though is to have fun and be silly. Leslyn shares about a TikTok account where Dadosaur came to be and went viral. The father in the account acts silly when his children tell him to become Dadosaur. Leslie shares that her father actually does something similar with her children. Anytime Leslie’s kids shout Grandpa Monster, her Dad will pretend that he’s a monster and be super silly with his grandkids.Leslyn shares that researchers have begun to investigate playfulness and its impact on our lives. People who exhibit high levels of playfulness seem to be those who are predisposed to being spontaneous, outgoing, fun loving, and lighthearted. These people also are usually more capable to cope with stress, more likely to report active lifestyles, and are even more likely to succeed academically! Playfulness is something that seems to be really positive and something that adults should be allowing themselves to take part in.Leslie and Leslyn share a few jokes in the episode that you can share with those that you love as well! For Leslie, she offers the ways that she has allowed herself to be sillier. Leslie allows herself to be a kid sometimes. She watches Disney movies as background noise at work and plays with her kids in the kiddie pool and at the creek getting in the water and having fun with them. She tries not to be just a bystander to all these fun experiences but instead tries to remember that she’s not too old to do those things with her kids. Leslyn adds that the whole point is to not be so serious and is actually one of the suggestions in her book.Leslie also tries to be goofy and less serious with her husband and have more lighthearted experiences in their relationship. Leslyn shares one of her favorite memories with her late husband was when he was dancing, and he thought he had the moves and had no cares about what anyone thought about it. Having these moments of silliness helps not only the person doing it but also in the connections with our loved ones.Some other ways that you can be sillier and let loose are by playing board and yard games. For Leslyn, being silly is not being afraid to let it all hang out. Leslie and Leslyn share some of their favorite board games and some of the yard games that they have been playing with family and friends. Taking the moments to play with family and friends is incredibly important to give opportunities to laugh, have bonding experiences, and reduce stress!This week’s Try This at Home is to make sure that you make some time to lighten up. Find moments in everyday to be a little silly, tell a dumb joke, or dance a little! Next week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn will be sharing six interesting products that they cannot live without!Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: 6 of our Favorite Products!One of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Leslyn’s Book | Be Happier, Healthier, and More Productive: 365 Inspiring Ideas[https://www.amazon.com/Happier-Healthier-More-Productive-Inspiring/dp/1733402004]America’s Funniest Home Videos[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_zEzzq54Rm0iy7lmmZbCIg]Dadosaur on TikTok[https://www.tiktok.com/@frankiemannella?lang=en]Board Games MentionedTelestrations[https://www.amazon.com/USAopoly-Telestrations-Original-Hilarious-Telephone/dp/B001SN8GF4]Taboo[https://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-A4626-Taboo-Board-Game/dp/B00D4NJSBW]Pictionary[https://www.amazon.com/Matel-Game-DKD47-Pictionary-Board/dp/B0145GMV7Y]Yard Games MentionedBadminton Sets[https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Badminton-Sets/b?ie=UTF8&node=3419581]Cornhole Sets[https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Sports-Outdoors-Cornhole-Sets/zgbs/sporting-goods/7427900011]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Negativity can have a major impact on our mental and physical health. It can be an extremely toxic element to our overall wellbeing. In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn discuss some of the types of negativity and how you can cope while neutralizing the negativity that comes your way. Leslyn shares that the most important thing that we can do with negativity is neutralize it. If you hear a negative voice, being able to inject a positive voice is good for your energy. If we do not neutralize the negativity then negativity quickly becomes the only energy in the space. Leslie compares it to playing confirmation bias with negativity.In this time right now, Leslie explains it’s incredibly important to hear that there are good things happening. It’s important to really understand the ways that we experience and feed negativity to change. Self-mastery and self-awareness help us really focus on changing from an inside perspective.Leslyn explains that most of the negativity that we are seeing right now is called individual cynicism. Individual cynicism can be described as a general mistrust of people and their motives. If this sounds familiar, thinking you have a reason to be mistrustful because people hurt or deceive us all the time you must sit back and ask yourself is there a reason why this person hurt me? The point Leslyn wants to make is that it’s important to ask yourself why and what’s going on behind the cynicism and know that you are the only one who can fix that.Hostility is a negative that comes from lack of compassion and anger, that’s usually routed in some other emotion. The best way to address hostility is to surrender to it. The neutralizing effect for hostility is to be kind. Responding with kindness often is a surrender to the instinct of responding to the negativity. Showing kindness is not a weakness instead it shows the strength you have to not contribute to negativity.The next kind of negativity Leslie and Leslyn discuss is filtering. This is when out of all the good things around you, you only notice the bad things. This is one that most people seem to struggle with the most. Which leads into polarized thinking when we believe because something is not perfect then it must not be good enough. It makes you adopt and ‘all or none’ mentality. Think of it like a spectrum, you are only focusing on the ends of that spectrum and not even considering the middle.Another way that negativity can creep into your life is when you jump to conclusions, assuming a bad outcome is going to happen because of something bad that has happened in your past. The way to neutralize that energy is to remember that history does not always repeat itself. This leads into blaming others. Doing this can create a negative energy in your conversation that you can help neutralize by reframing your sentences. Instead of saying “You make me so mad” you could say, “When that happens, I feel mad.”Emotional reasoning is something that Leslie and Leslyn covered in their episode on “What is a ‘Truth’?”. It’s the idea that because you feel a certain way it must be real when in fact it may not be a fact. Emotional reasoning can turn into negativity quick. To neutralize, remember that feeling that way does not make it true. Leslie adds that your feeling is real and valid but that doesn’t necessarily mean what you think about the feelings are true.Leslie and Leslyn share some of the positives that you can implement into your own life to help combat negativity. When you are seeing so much negativity in the media for example, try turning on Youtube and looking for a positive TedTalk on things like gratitude, social change, and happiness. Listening to meditations and speeches can also add some positivity and help you practice gratitude. Leslyn shares that gratitude neutralizes negativity every single time! This week’s Try This at Home is to try to pay attention to what is negative in your life and try some of the neutralizing techniques mentioned today.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: Silliness & Joyful LivingOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Stephen King | The Stand[https://stephenking.com/library/novel/stand_the.html]Last Week’s Episode #219: What You Don’t Know[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/6/3/219-what-you-dont-know]Episode 218 - Finish by Jon Acuff[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/6/2/book-review-finish-by-jon-acuff-a-guide-for-perfectionists]Episode- What is a ‘Truth’?[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/5/20/what-is-a-truth]Episode- Pandemic Life-Our Finest Hour[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/4/7/210-pandemic-life-our-finest-hour]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!TikTok @thisisleslynTwitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]

Leslie and Leslyn begin this episode of Try This at Home with heavy hearts. At the time of recording, there has been over 9 days of significant heartbreak in our country. With that, Leslie and Leslyn wish to discuss how you can start to learn what you do not know. This phrase, “You don’t know what you don’t know” was used in a 2002 speech by Donald Rumsfield.Leslyn shares that when you finally understand the pieces and you realize the range of this issue; you realize that we don’t know what we don’t know. Which means, that we are looking and living blind to other issues that we do not have an experiential base on. Leslyn compares the idea to a woman being curious on what it would be like to be a man. It’s something that you can try to imagine but you cannot truly know what it would be like. Leslyn shares another example of trying to explain the color blue to someone who is blind. They will have a perception of the color blue, but they will not have the ability to actually know what blue is. At least not in the way that you can know what blue is.This is true for anything that you do not have an experiential basis for. This is a super important and relevant idea for what is happening right now in our culture. Specifically, in regard to the lives of people of color. What is it like to be a person of color in our society? What is white privilege?The goal is to continue to learn and understand. Leslyn compares it to two people who have grown up with two totally different ideas about parenting. The only way you can come to a consensus about how you are going to parent your kids is to listen to one another. Understand the pain that you are experiencing as well as the pain of people around you.Leslie and Leslyn discuss some of the reasons people may be experiencing pain around this topic. Especially when accepting aspects of racism that play in everyday life. There is a fear of what you do not know and there is a fear of having to admit that you do not know.Leslyn shares how you can start overcoming these fears. First, you must become aware of what is happening. Take the time to learn about why you feel the way you feel. Second, you must learn that this was your thinking before and now you can feel differently. You do not have to keep the same mindset. You are allowed to learn, grow, and reevaluate your thinking.This starts with self-awareness. You must learn what you do not know and use your body to discover the underlying fears that motivate your behavior. Leslyn encourages you to do this as it will help you discover what fears you hold often times unknowingly. Leslyn shares that racism may exist on a spectrum for some people. The reason that we continuously have an issue with this is because we have not nailed down the first and biggest obstacle. This is that all lives matter ONLY if black lives also matter.We all know of course that all lives matter. But you cannot say that all lives matter when we are not treating everyone equally. You cannot feed everyone at the table and then say you are feeding everyone. This happens not only with race but in other aspects as well. All lives will matter when it is equal across every gender, sexuality, race, and religion.Leslie and Leslyn share three book recommendations for you, the listener. One of the books recommended titled Picking Cotton you have the chance to win! The first person to reach out to Leslyn on social media will receive the book! Leslie and Leslyn wish to have a book review after reading these titles sometime next month. Leslyn shares that the essence of this podcast is to try what we talk about at home. To grow your life and become your best self. Leslyn urges you to continue the conversation so that awareness can be raised on what we do not know in as many ways as we can. This week’s Try This at Home is to become your best self. To do that you have to become aware and it is recommended that you extend kindness to the world and to all people.Subscribe to this channel for new podcasts EVERY WEDNESDAY and Try This at Home!Next Week’s Episode: NegativityOne of our goals this year is to grow the podcast audience and you can help!We would truly appreciate a share or a shout out if you found the ideas here helpful.Don’t forget, you can always touch base with us personally on our Facebook, Instagram, and our website trythisathomepodcast.comLinks to Look At:Book Recommendations:Rebecca Skloot | The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6493208-the-immortal-life-of-henrietta-lacks]Erin Torneo, Jennifer Thompson-Cannino, and Ronald Cotton | Picking Cotton: Out Memoir of Injustice and Redemption[https://www.pickingcottonbook.com/]Robin DiAngelo | White Fragility[https://robindiangelo.com/publications/]Other Useful Resource:Jstor | Institutionalized Racism: A Syllabus[https://daily.jstor.org/institutionalized-racism-a-syllabus/]Can’t Get Enough? Follow us on our other platforms!Twitter: https://twitter.com/TryThisAtHomeP1Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg2RODfYz2Rrc8tUO0ti5QListen to the Podcast at https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/ or on iTunes, Spotify, and Sticher![Show Notes by Abbie Brooks -- https://www.fiverr.com/abjbrook]