019: How To Survive The Emotional Struggles of Single Parenthood w/ Kim Bao
Whether you’ve planned to have kids or not, finding yourself a single parent is not something you set out for with intent. Being a single parent is hard work. And trying to co-parent with your ex can be an even bigger struggle.
As a single parent, you’re going to struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, and pain - and the most likely source of these feelings is you. Single parenthood is a struggle that no one’s going to prepare you for and your relationship with your ex is going to be different from anyone else’s relationship with theirs.
Co-parenting with your ex isn’t always going to be easy. And having an amicable relationship with your ex isn’t a one person decision. The moment you split, there are two different attitudes to parenting, two different lives, and two different opinions that will all have to be taken into account.
In this solo episode, I’m talking about my personal experiences into the crazy hard world of single parenting. I tell you how I knew that my ex wasn’t “the one” and how I wish so much that we had a friendship to fall back to. I’m explaining why it’s so important to get validation from yourself and no one else.
Why the other parent to your children is going to fall into their own unique ex category - and how that’s going to impact you for the rest of your life. Perhaps most importantly, I’m talking about forgiveness: why you need to forgive yourself, your ex, and all the other people that will have an opinion on your broken relationship.
When my son gave his mother’s day project to his dad’s new partner instead of me, I thought my heart was going to fall out of my chest it was so broken. But thanks to my own dad’s tough attitude, I learned that it’s okay for your children to love other people in their lives. You can’t waste time sitting in shit for a long time - there always comes a point where you just have to move forward.
Are you going through a divorce? Do you have children with your ex? How do you talk to your children about love and forgiveness? Leave me a comment on the episode page!
In This Episode:
- Why it’s so important to be friends with someone you’re going to date
- What you need to understand about your own self-validation
- What the different kind of breakups are and how will impact your life going forward
- Why you need to accept that you will have different parenting styles than your ex
- How to parent with intention
- Why you should consider therapy as you go through a divorce
- How important it is to have good friends when going through separation
- Why it’s so incredibly important to practice forgiveness
“Even if you want to be Ned Stark from Game of Thrones, doing the right thing for the right reasons and die with honor - an amicable relationship as a single parent isn’t really a one person decision. It takes two.” (4:35)
“My only job in our interaction at this point was to demonstrate and role model parental behavior. Outside of that, friends or not, I’ve done my job.” (6:27)
“Becoming a single parent, you’re redefining everything. You’re redefining who you are as a person, as a parent and what life looks like in the aftermath.” (11:24)
“Allow people to show as much healthy love to your kids as possible. No matter how much they get on your nerves. And make sure your kids know it’s okay to love them back.” (15:30)
If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: