66 minutes | Feb 19th 2019

018: How To Turn Tragedy Into Fuel For Living Your Best Life w/ Steve Datte

There are some events in life that change you dramatically. The thing you need to remember, though, is how that change will impact you in the long term. My guest today, Steve Datte, is a coach, mentor, and all around wonderful guy who lost his brother to suicide many years ago.

Steve took the most pragmatic approach to this great loss and, instead of letting his brother’s death keep him from enjoying his life, he looked ahead. By picturing himself surviving and even happy 10, 20, 30 years down the road, he knew that the pain he was feeling was only temporary. Steve is one of the most inspiring men I know, and his inspiration reaches through his family, into his fitness center, to his private clients, and beyond.

Today on the show, we’re talking about the loss that rocked Steve’s life and how he didn’t let it draw him down into depression. How taking a balanced approach to suicide helped shape the man he is today. Steve practices picturing life as a game and lives by the thought that we’re all just children in adult bodies.

By holding onto that mantra, Steve looks at life through the eyes of a child, embracing the positive and celebrating the good. This has helped him be a better husband, father, coach, and manager. He believes that it’s never too late to reprogram your life to change the aspects that get you down, and roleplaying is a big part of this!

Have you been affected by suicide? Do you know how to recognize when you’ve had enough of something? How do you prioritize play in your daily life? Leave me a comment on the episode page!


In This Episode

  • Why you need to find a job that you’re passionate about
  • What the “10/20/30 years from now” theory is
  • How to look at suicide pragmatically
  • What happens when you start to picture life as a game
  • What you can do to be a better manager
  • Why you can always reprogram your life to make it more positive
  • How roleplaying can help you work through difficult issues in your life
  • Why it’s important to recognize when you’re done with something



“Ten years from now, what’s this gonna be for me? Will I still be as upset as I am today? And I don’t know many things that 10 years down the road you’re gonna be as upset as in the moment, and if you can get your head there, you can get through just about anything.” (16:35)

“There’s just a point where you’ve gotta let go of the guilt and the angst of what could you have done and where should you have been.” (20:34)

“We get so caught up in what we do versus who we are.” (45:03)

“It’s okay to quit so long as you leave, just don’t quit and stay.” (49:30)

“I’ve had very few people choose to quit anything when they’re succeeding and they have work/life balance. Usually, when someone leaves, they’re either not succeeding or its impacting their life so much that it’s not worth it.” (57:50)

Links Find Steve Datte fitness club, Life Time Athletic on Facebook


If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes:

016: How To Build A Stronger You By Working Through Your Trauma w/ Kim Bao

011: How To Allow Your Passions To Dictate Your Future w/ Wynona Karbo

008: Overcoming Physical & Mental Stressors Through Cryotherapy w/ Joel Cruzada


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Check out the full show notes for this episode!

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