81 minutes | Jan 30th 2019

015: The Trauma Of Divorce From The Male Perspective w/ Mike Kim

Divorce is a truly traumatic experience, but one that we often don’t think of as causing grief in our lives. And going through a divorce can be one of the most difficult things a person can experience. They’re full of heartbreak, hardship, anger, regret, and hatred. My guest today, Mike Kim, is an internationally known branding specialist - but it’s his traumatic divorce that led him to where he is today.

Mike opens up today in this incredibly emotionally raw episode to talk us through what happened to turn his 12-year marriage sour. We’re getting really messy and personal in this look inside the male psyche during a rough divorce. During this time, Mike didn’t know how to cope with his anger and grief and turned to so many other methods to cope with his divorce.

In this episode, we’re talking about blocking and why it’s important to feel your feelings. We also go into how a messy divorce and a spouse who has cheated on you can seriously impact your confidence - not just in getting out and dating new people, but on a business front as well. How do you know when it’s time to seek some outside help to guide you through your trauma?

Have you gone through a divorce? Or are you currently going through one? How do you communicate with your partner through the tough times? What coping mechanisms do you use going through something traumatic? Leave a comment on the episode page!

 

In This Episode:

  • Why it’s so important to feel your feelings, especially anger when going through traumatic experiences
  • How emotional blocking can impede your healing process
  • How going through a divorce can impact your confidence
  • How women and men process trauma differently
  • Why it’s so easy to overlook the fact that divorce is trauma
  • When you should seek outside, neutral help, like a counselor
  • Why you can lash out in anger at the person who hurt you most
  • How to learn not to freak out about finding the next person to build a relationship with
  • How to have the courage to ask for help when you need it

Quotes:

“Women get sad, men get mad. But men get mad because they’re sad. And until men deal with the anger, we can’t actually get to the root of the hurt.” (21:21)

“I have made the decision to not be victimized anymore, to not be traumatized, to not allow people into my life who are going to take advantage of me. Whatever you are going through in your life, you’ve made a decision.” (25:30)

“I was able to finally say something to her after the anger had passed. And I was able to admit: “Hey, I know you actually tried to say sorry, I just couldn’t hear it at the time. And that was on me. But I just couldn’t hear it at the time.” (55:56)

“I didn’t know how to express anger in a healthy way. I just shut completely down.” (1:06:35)

“Life is not meant to be lived by default. It has to be by design.” (1:14:39)

 

Links

Find Mike Kim Online

Follow Mike Kim on Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | Twitter

 

If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes:

007: Reshaping Men’s Presence In The World w/ Sharif Joynson

005: Why You NEED To Learn How To Set & Enforce Strict Boundaries w/ Kyree Oliver

004: Learning To Trust & Love After An Abusive Relationship w/ Melinda Hopper

 

Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy

Check out the full show notes for this episode!

Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph

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