68 minutes | Mar 1, 2021

There's No Chicken Nine Because Chicken Six Seven Ate Nine

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! Lords: Elena Quil Topics: Some people put on music and then just talk over it instead of singing along?? Why Being the only person in a movie theater/concert A Spirograph but for your butt Daniel asks "Legacy board games such as Pandemic Legacy or Gloomhaven." Weird sleeping apparatuses "House Special Live Frog in Hot Stone Pot" on the delivery menu Microtopics: A girl who is raised as a boy in pre-revolutionary France and becomes Marie Antoinette's guard. Turn of the millennium club music. Finding out that Itsy Bitsy Spider has been about perseverance all this time. Having to restrain yourself from singing along when you're at the opera. Trying to eat dinner but you can't eat because you need to sing along to your sea shanty playlist. Trying to eat bites of dinner during the verses because you keep having to sing along to the choruses. Properties of sea shanties. Having a different song for every task. Everybody performing music before recorded music was a thing, because that was how you had music in your life. The horrible historical handwriting that historians never show you. Celebrating the new decade with Cats (2019) and when you walk out of the theater you're the only person in the building. Seeing Pitch Perfect 3 at 10pm on Christmas Eve and probably ruining a bunch of theater employees plans to have a party in that empty theater. When you're the only person in the theater, asking the projectionist to pause the movie while you go to the bathroom. Being the last person seeing an awful live band because everyone else walked out, and realizing that if you too walk out, they'll be playing to an empty room. A drummer and a guitarist who are both playing too loud to hear each other. The only live performance you've ever walked out on. Pooping in a spiral. Nature's sharpie. The origin of topics. A disc that you sit on. A combination nausea inducer and butt spirograph. Cake icing videos. Asking your son what his life is a commentary on. A shark embedded in a formaldehyde solution. Work that aggressively annoys the art community. Ironic cocaine. Sneaking into the museum to hang up your own work. Taking photos of a painting and then destroying the original and then taking photos of the photos and destroying the original artist. Modifying the rules as you play the game. Opening up more and more of your board game every time you play, like an Advent calendar. A board game that you learn like a video game. Memorizing a dozen page book before you can start playing a game. Copyrighting the concept of a legacy. Proposing to your wife by intentionally losing a board game over and over again. The thing you were working towards screwing you over and now you have to undo it. Trying to think of a board game you've played more than a few times. Really looking forward to a board game and finally getting it and deciding to just watch your friends play. Whether it's apparati or apparatodes. The doublet of apparat. Wanting to be hyper correct in everything you do. Buying a tent to go over your bed because your blackout curtains aren't cutting it. Buying a bunch of weird pillows to compensate for the position your arms automatically get into when you sleep. How CPAP machines all have a SIM card and phone home with your sleep behavior and there's no way to turn it off. Nasal pillows. Sleeping with a weird contraption blowing air into your face constantly. Discovering that it is much easier to fall asleep when you are very tired at the end of the day. Ranking your morningness and eveningness. Sleeping in a hammock. Making a nest of pillows around you. Putting on your velcro pajamas and jumping onto the velcro wall to fall asleep. Your velcro bed waking you up with a loud ripping sound every time you switch positions. Time-release velcro. Ice velcro. Making a salt igloo at the salt flats. A weighted blanket that is so heavy you can't get up until a crane rescues you. Sleeping under a chainmail sheet. A quilt made out of beanbags. The first thing you searched for when you got on the internet. Youtube videos about your idealized farm life. Ordering a pet frog from your Szechuan delivery menu. Getting Hot Pot delivered and the Pot arrives cold. Ordering Chicken 65 because there are no other numbered items on the menu. Not wanting to eat animals whole because there's poop in there. Frog Fractions 65. If Chicken 6 was so good, why isn't there a Chicken 6 5? A Kidz Bop version of Ocean's 11. Support Topic Lords
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