Top 8 facts about the walrus (i.e., walrus facts):
8. A walrus can only read italicized fonts.
7. The teeth of a walrus are made out of compacted carpet.
6. Walruses are predominately Presbyterian.
5. Walrus toenails are hallucinogenic.
4. If allowed to use their flippers, a walrus is unbeatable in badminton.
3. Each year there is a gathering of walruses to celebrate Icelandic rock music.
2. Walruses give their bastard children to reindeers in an attempt to let them grow up in a safer neighborhoods.
1. The only ever Michelen five star restaurant rating occurred when a New York restaurant took a walrus egg, hard boiled it, sliced it thinly, and paired it with shaved white truffles, and place on a grilled crustini. It was served as an accompaniment to an equally decadent lobster bisque