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To Be Continued with Cristela Alonzo
36 minutes | Jan 1, 2022
EPISODE 35: It's A Next Year! My List of Five Random Things That I Kind Of Remember From 2021
I just wanted to do a quick episode to say "It's The Next Year!" to everyone. I'm saying this instead of Happy New Year's because why give you the pressure of trying to be happy if you don't feel like it? I decide to randomly do a list of five things I remember of the top of my head about 2021....not good or bad....also, I mention NFTs but I don't know what they are?
44 minutes | Dec 26, 2021
EPISODE 34: Merry Christmas! If I'm Wearing Pantyhose, I'm Robbing A Store
This episode was recorded on Christmas as a Christmas gift to all of my four listeners. In this episode I catch everyone up on where I've been and what my year has been like. It's had ups and downs and guess what? I'm still here. I talk a little bit about writing a Lifetime Christmas movie, hosting Legends of The Hidden Temple and preparing to shoot my second Netflix stand-up special!
49 minutes | Jun 25, 2021
EPISODE 33: Are You Sure You Can Afford That $12 Sports Bra
39 minutes | Jun 18, 2021
EPISODE 32: Why I Hustle in Silence And Let The Lamborghini Make The Noise...
This week, I talk about having a baby...my niece NOT me though I do like to eat for two but that's another story and seriously...can we make a Lego set of Los Bukis a real thing?
44 minutes | Jun 10, 2021
EPISODE 31: Do You Ever Ask Yourself If You're 'Enough?'
I finally made a new episode of my podcast and explain how the struggle I have with doing my podcast is the question that makes me wonder if I'm doing "enough" for people to want to listen. I always catch up everyone on what I've been up to...like writing a Lifetime Christmas movie with a predominately Latino cast, directed by an awesome female director and why I'm so into vintage clothes lately.
45 minutes | Jan 2, 2021
EPISODE 30: Should Birthdays During A Pandemic Count?
This week, my listeners realize I'm back after taking months hiatus to try to help save democracy. Did it work? We still don't know! Starting the year with a new podcast to catch people up. Also, for the first time ever, I talk about my birthday in public and about roller skating.
52 minutes | Aug 6, 2020
EPISODE 29: The Last Four Years Feel Like I Get A Daily Paper Cut And Touch Lemons
In this week's podcast, I talk about what projects I've been working on lately, my work with the Joe Biden campaign and why the Trump presidency feels like what the name of this episode is: The Last Four Years Feels Like I Get A Daily Paper Cut And Touch Lemons!!!
49 minutes | Jul 11, 2020
EPISODE 28: TGIF (Tias, Goya Is Fired) EVERYONE!
This week, I break down why the media is not "a virus" and how I love when I ask people to unfollow me because they support a racist. Also, I talk about the magic of Latino supermarkets and why our spending power is a tool we need to learn how to use more...I'm not talking to Goya anymore, it knows what it did.
42 minutes | Jul 2, 2020
EPISODE 27: Stop The Spreading Of The Karenavirus
It's time we talk about the importance of wearing masks during a pandemic where people are dying....and how not wanting to wear one because it's about freedom is the dumbest thing I've heard. Go run into a burning building after fire fighters tell you not to because of "FREEDOM" then....(insert eye roll here)
35 minutes | Jun 25, 2020
EPISODE 26: How About A Jeffrey Dahmer Statue? He's Part Of Our History Too...
This week, I talk about breaking all of my four listeners' hearts last week when I DIDN'T podcast. Also, I talk about why we like to celebrate the worst parts of our history and pretend like those were the good old days. And....why my VERY Catholic mom taught me to support LGBTQ.
74 minutes | Jun 10, 2020
EPISODE 25: The Person That Knows Me Best...
This week, I introduce my best friend Steve to my four listeners. If you follow me on social media or have seen me on tour, then you know him. We got people from IG to have Steve ask me questions they wanted the answers to because he knows, I don't really like to get too personal...
33 minutes | Jun 4, 2020
EPISODE 24: Black Lives Matter
In this week's episode, I talk about why I support the protests and talk a little about why it's important to support the movement and make sure you don't insert yourself into it. There's really nothing more to say about it.
53 minutes | May 28, 2020
EPISODE 23: I Was Depressed? I Just Thought I Was Poor
This week, I talk about my love of space and science, I break down my breakdown from 2018-2019 because it's Mental Health Awareness Month and the thing I'm into this week is money...YOUR money!
53 minutes | May 20, 2020
EPISODE 22: White People Should Stay Out of Haunted Houses
This week, I dive into why I LOVE scary movies but also what is wrong with them and talk about why I’m wearing workout clothes but not working out. Also, I talk about how I’m the kind of person that makes playlists about playlists.
53 minutes | May 13, 2020
EPISODE 21: St. Vicks Vaporub - The Saint Of Healing On A Budget
This week, I break down low-budget health care and talk about what it was like translating action movies for my mom as a kid. Also, I list all the video game consoles/systems I have and talk about Animal Crossing. Did I mention I'm single? Pew Pew.
44 minutes | May 6, 2020
EPISODE 20: Taking Down My Cinco De Mayo Tree
This week, I talk about the importance of Cinco de Mayo, one of the holiest holidays for my Mexican community and how I'm having a hard time understanding it's May. Also, I go on about comic book movies and how I want to give people bricks.
52 minutes | Apr 29, 2020
EPISODE 19: When My Phone Dies, I Die Too
This week, I talk about how the most helpful thing to get me through a pandemic was growing up poor because I've been going without necessities my entire life. I also talk about how I'm a proud plant mom and talk about what the hell "Planturday" is. Also, I talk about my phone because why on earth would I name my episode that and NOT talk about my phone?
56 minutes | Apr 22, 2020
EPISODE 18: My 80's Movie Makeover
During this time of a global pandemic, I have decided to give myself a makeover because I have great timing. Sure, why not? It turns out, this time has been serving as a reset button for myself and I somehow end up talking about how even Barbie gets in a bad mood sometimes. Trust me, it all makes sense.
60 minutes | Apr 15, 2020
EPISODE 17: Time Doesn't Exist Anymore
This week, I'm at the point where I've lost all concept of time and how because of that, I ended up exploring the world of conspiracy theories. Also, I talk about the resurrection of a long, lost skill I forgot I had.
49 minutes | Apr 9, 2020
EPISODE 16: DOING THE BEST WE CAN
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