3 minutes | Apr 26th 2020

Jesus Vibration

The vibration began in Jesus' pocketIt wouldn't normally be a problembut Jesus was in the middle of a live streamwith his iPhone connected to his AirPodsUnfortunately, there was a bug in the software which sent the vibrating and buzzingover the top of his audible addressto millions of his fans and followersMeanwhile, Kanye had joined the roomand was also live on the voice channelalong with Taylor Swift, who was already thereShe's always been a big fan of JesusThe buzzing didn't stopIndeed, it only got louder across the airwavesawakening in Kanye a certain sense of artistic absurdismHe began to repeat the phrase 'doo doo dum dum?'The pitch went up at the end like thatapparently signifying a questionHe kept saying it, over and overwhile the buzzing continued'doo doo dum dum?'Taylor started gigglingand whispered a question to Jesuswith imitation tears 'Jesus, what are you trying to say to us?'Jesus knew that this entire live streamwas compromised He couldn't work out how to stop the buzzingwhich was still growing louder And Kanye continued, 'doo doo dum dum?'Jesus replied to Taylor with as much authority as he could manageaided by turning up the reverb on his console 'I don't know'The words echoed around the globeFor some followers this was all too much and they tuned outOthers waited to see what would happen next'doo doo dum dum?'Thousands of trolls were now typing into the live chat windowinsensitive comments and hurtful remarkshowever true, difficult to readfor the small number of true followers leftBut none of this had any effect on JesusHe had removed his headphones and was no longer listening, to anyoneHe's been missing ever since
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