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Dear listeners, welcome to the last episode of The Larry Miller Show! We have really enjoyed bringing the show to you and being part of this fun with all of you. For the grand finale, since it is December, we have decided to go out with our annual holiday tradition of Larry re-telling his story, "Does He Drink Coffee?" Plus, Larry does a big tribute to the late, great Sean Connery. Also, Larry tells his favorite joke of all time and recites his favorite Robert Frost poem from memory. As you may have noticed, we haven't had a new episode in a few months. We've been unable to find a way to produce the show safely in these difficult times, as pre-production largely consists of Larry and his producer Colonel Jeff sitting in a small room for half a day, drinking decaf and talking. They talk mostly about Wagon Train, as if that's productive somehow. But that's the process. So, we've decided it's time to roll up the old circus tent. Thanks so much for listening and thanks for all of the yuks you've given us. It's really been a lot of fun bringing you the show and getting to know so many of you for the last 11 seasons. You're a good group! Keep up the good work. And as always, nominum quid geminus?

Larry talks about how much he loves station wagons and Chevelles! Plus crashing his parents' station wagon and buying himself a brand new Mercury Colony Park wagon! Then hear about Larry's friend didn't know he was on fire. Speaking of cars, Larry recounts a great scene from the classic Steve McQueen movie "The Getaway."And now, with further ado. http://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "But he didn't know he was on fire."

Hear about the time Larry hitchhiked to college in western Massachusetts. Did he live to tell the tale? Tune in and find out! Then Larry knocks over tent poles in his family car. And find out what to do if a bully kicks sand in your face at the beach! Finally, we hear about the classic musical "Fiddler on the Roof" and Larry recites the poem " When You Are Old" by Yeats. https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "Fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

It's too hot to be happy. That's all there is to it. Yet, Larry makes mirth with tales of some of the hottest and coldest days of his life. In honor of the scorching sun, Larry recites "Summer Sun" by Robert Louis Stevenson. And he talks about the great World War II movie "They Were Expendable." https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "It's a-hot out there."

Larry tells the story of how he almost had to wear William Conrad's pants during his first appearance on The Tonight Show. Then he talks about his favorite scene from the classic movie "Gentleman Jim." And in honor of the heat wave that's gripping the nation, he recites "I Know I Am But Summer To Your Heart" by Edna St. Vincent Millay. https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "Let's talk about this. Can we turn the cameras off?"

Larry can make a duplicate key by eye, but somehow can't identify his own car. Plus a tribute to Alfred E. Newman and Butterfly McQueen. Then Larry talks about the great war movie "Kelly's Heroes" and recites the poem "A Boy And His Dad" by Edgar Albert Guest. Quote of the week: "Martians could land and say, "German?"

Larry summons Momus, the god of laughter to find out if Mercury is in Uranus. Then Larry talks about the Marx Brothers movie "Room Service" and asks for YOUR help in picking out a wedding present. http://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "They can look at a table leg for seven hours."

Larry gets the perfect present for a dead head's Father's Day! Also in tribute to Dads, Larry recites "Fathers" by Edgar Albert Guest. And we hear a little bit about Larry's time on the set of "Ten Things I Hate About You." http://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "Every Year: Old Spice"

Larry comments on the sad deaths of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, and does a solemn reading of the poem "Despair" by Percy Bysshe Shelley that you won't want to miss. Then he talks about the Clint Eastwood classic "Heartbreak Ridge." Also, he muses on the greatness of naps and wonders if cavemen had time for them. Quote of the week: "We need portholes."

Larry gets a new air conditioner and guess who installed it! Ahem, not him. The we find out if Playboy ever did a "Women of Milleronia" issue. Also, two different waiters tell Larry's he's crazy for asking for herring -- but for opposite reasons. On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the Scarlett Johannsen movie "Lucy." And he recites "A Summer Afternoon" by James Whitcomb Riley. Quote of the week: "This guy really put the wazoo on me." https://LarryMillerShow.com

Larry tells about the many drinking holidays dedicated to him on his remote, secret volcano island. Plus, we hear about Larry's excitement about his family all being under one roof for the summer. Then he talks about the great Henry Fonda movie "The Grapes Of Wrath" and recites the poem "Nature, The Gentlest Mother" by Emily Dickinson. Quote of the week: "I'd just never seen them smile."

When hookers took over Larry's neighborhood in NYC, he didn't even notice. The neighborhood kids definitely noticed and you won't believe what they did! Also hear about Larry's trip to visit his son in Boulder, plus Larry's other son, the Marine, says a quick hello on the air! Then Larry talks about the great William Holden classic movie, "Stalag 17," directed by Billy Wilder. https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "I didn't notice any hookers, isn't that stupid?"

Here's a little secret about guys -- we don't know what we're doing. Yes, Larry recounts his uneventful prom night and uneventful (apparently) romantic encounters during his college years. Then we hear about the great Sam Peckinpah movie "The Wild Bunch." Plus, Larry recites "Come Walk With Me" by Emily Jane Bronte! Quote of the week: "I enjoyed not knowing. Does that make sense?" http://LarryMillerShow.com

Larry gets in line with all of the dumb husbands for Mother's Day. And Larry recites the moving Melville poem "Gettysburg." Then Larry does a loving tribute the classic musical movie "Showboat." Quote of the Week: "Every Father was a chubby comedy writer." https://LarryMillerShow.com

Larry discusses all things donuts after Colonel Jeff's return from his donut expedition to South Florida. And Larry gives a recipe for Milleronia-styled charred kale salad! Is it good? You figure it out. Quote of the week: "I nearly did a chimp flip in my seat."

In tribute to the passing of Bruno Sammartino, Larry talks of his love of wrestling and helping Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart recover from a late night of mirth on the streets of New Orleans! Plus his personal encounters with wrestling legends Hulk Hogan and The Fabulous Moolah. On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the classic "Requiem For A Heavyweight" with Anthony Quinn. Then he recites the poem, "Carpe Diem" by Robert Frost. Quote of the week: "Hey Moolah! Come on up here and get your lunch!" https://LarryMillerShow.com

Hear about the booze / fire alarm in Larry's old frat. Plus tributes to Harry "The Hat" Anderson, Barbara Bush and R. Lee Ermey. Of course, Larry talks about his favorite parts of Full Metal Jacket. He also recites a poem by Harlem Renaissance writer Claude McKay. http://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "Ahhh. Ice cold."

Find out why Larry was happy about getting stuffed into a coffin, covered in gunk and left out in the freezing cold! Surprise, it involves a fraternity. Plus lots of love for Grace Kelly as Larry discusses the movies "High Noon" and a little bit of "Rear Window." And how come nobody puts records on cereal boxes anymore? https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "I'd fly her out to Monaco, too. And I've never been to Monaco."

Larry is almost run over by aggro cyclists and long boats at a regatta in Long Beach! In keeping with the nautical theme, Larry recites, "On The Sea" by John Keats and in keeping with the recent Passover, he talks about the classic movie "The Ten Commandments." Finally, keeping with nothing in particular, he tells a joke about a fainting nun. Quote of the week: "Wow, wow and yikes."

Larry tells us why strippers and comedians get along so well and why Seattle really is the best. And, are there any drive-in movie theaters left? Also, Larry discusses what Soylent Green is made of and recites the lovely poem Paris In Spring by Sara Teasdale. Quote of the week: "I've gotta zip up more."