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This Week in Anguish
75 minutes | May 3, 2022
Ep 155: A Donut Analogy He'd Like You To Consider (2022/05/03)
This week in anguish: - 51 years of season-summating headlines, handily hi-lited for your edification. - A last fond look back at our bygone betters, the boys of 2002. - Talking over the year-end media availabilities, but really just lamenting our inability to give Brock a hug. - A whistlestop tour of Transcarpathian ethnicities, featuring all your favourite Horvats. - How Did We Not Know that Dale Tallon pulverized baby Bobby back in the day? Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
98 minutes | Apr 26, 2022
Ep 154: Opposite of Unsung (2022/04/25)
This week in anguish: - Ever keen to emulate his NHL heroes, Tristan decided to try out this fun new Covid protocol he'd been hearing so much about. - This meant we hadn't recorded in two semi-meaningful weeks, leading to this episode having a pretty prodigious conversational PSI. - You know how people complain about coaches ruining the game with too much structure? Think of this episode as a protest against that. We freewheel for an hour and forty. Firewagon podcasting...is that a thing? Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
74 minutes | Apr 11, 2022
Ep 153: S'up, Playa? (2022/04/11)
This week in anguish: - Breaking down all of Bouce Broudeau's win-the-weeks. - "Hope, persusade, whatever," and other inspirational advice for Patrik Allvin. - Beating the Maple Leafs at franchise records we have carefully hand-selected. - Checking in on the miraculous regular season finish of the 2001/02 Canucks. - Spencer Martin and our expensive goalie severance packages. - Chase Gray saves the orca and the Canucks embarrass themselves with their "offers" to indigenous artists. - How Did I Not Know about Markus Naslund and Peter Forsberg's charitable superteam? - Tristan describes things he saw in Canucks mic'd up videos. What to see Weekend at Petey's for yourself? How about gurning Bo Horvat? Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
69 minutes | Apr 2, 2022
Ep 152: Cheerless Champion (2022/04/02)
This week in anguish: - Is a Frankenstein's miracle of audio stitchery after one of us had issues with their recording. (It was Tristan. It's always Tristan.) If it seems like some sentences end a bit before they should - We cemented our eternal Connecticut Whale credentials in truly Canuckticut fashion by losing a heartbreaking, do-or-die final game to a bunch of jerks from Boston. - Ardella has quizzes! First: ranking the many Marches of the post-2011 Canucks. Who you got? Travis 3? Willie 1? All your favourites are here. - Then: forget March Madness and make way for March Melancholia. Gasp with delight as the Sad Sixteen are whittled down to the Oful Ocho before the Forlorn Four give way to the Troubled Two. Only one will stand as your Cheerless Champion of the sixteen discouraging things that happened this March off the top of Ardella's head! - We take stock of the two sad times we tried and failed to turn ourselves into the team that beat us, the first time as tragedy, the second as farce. - The true inventors of the hockey stick, the greatest Canucks win of all time, and Ardella gets belted by one small difference between beer league and the bigs. Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
101 minutes | Mar 25, 2022
Ep 151: All the Stops (2022/03/25)
This week in anguish: - It finally hits us that the homestand, this season, and maybe even this core are in danger of dying with a whimper. - Like a stone plooshing into a pond, this realization ripples out into three wavefronts of worry, each one more sacrilegious than the last. - We say goodbye to Tyler, tally the Travises, and tie our hopes, once again, around Troy. - Like light from a dying star slowly reaching the earth, this week's lackadaisacal editing schedule puts Tristan in the awkward position of sewering Halak at his moment of greatest Canuck trimph. - Ardella reads over a hundred pages of graduate-level research on the hockey organ. Diapasons of laughter ensue. Charge! - Whale win! Whale win! Your 2022 PHF regular season champion Connecticut Whale are sharpening their baleen while they await the identiy of their first Isobel Cup opponent. Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
82 minutes | Mar 9, 2022
Ep 150: Shaking the Eeyore-ness Out of Him (2022/03/09)
This week in anguish: - Unimaginably, the Canucks (and Brad Hunt) have won yet another week. - Do you know who Nils is, Bruce? Tread carefully. - JT Miller rockets up the body language power rankings. - The paltry archaeological evidence of Dancing Demko. - The Canucks' new Pride jersey, more comments on the Black History Month jersey, and a plea for 41 jerseys a year. - Claude Vilgrain played 145 non-Olympic international games for Team Canada from 1986-1988. How? Huh? Against whom? And other queries resolved. - David Bauer's principles lose Canada the 1964 silver medal. - This Week in Connecticut revels in past dominance and anticipates a consequential showdown. - The First Invitational Sesquicentennial Canucks Games-Played Quiz. Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
87 minutes | Mar 2, 2022
Ep 149: You're a Born Concessionaire (2022/03/02)
This week in anguish: - Winning the week while protecting Christopher Tanev's face and Jacob Markström's pride (and ignoring the ongoing descent to hell in New Jersey) - Ardella slyly coins a wonderful phrase. "At one point there was a scrumble in front of the goalie." Delightful. - Old Man Jannik and the case of the plastic shells. - We talk Black History Month in various forms, including appreciating the Canucks' newest jersey design, going ghost-hunting through Madison Bowie's article, and naming the also-rans in Justin Bailey's chronicle of Black Cancucks. - Nat Bailey's ultimately unsuccessful efforts to torpedo Ernie Dougherty's career. - Slap Shot is 45 years old and there is a great deal we still dont' understand. - Prospect potpourri, including Aidan McDonagh and a plague of Huskies, Gunnarwolfe Fontaine's admission to the all-name team, Klimovich's journey from Pinsk to Minsk, and Lucas Forsell's animorphosis. Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
90 minutes | Feb 22, 2022
Ep 148: Hostile Architecture (2022/02/21)
This week in anguish: - Olympic revelry turns quickly into a search for the Canucks' new (or additional?) mental performance coach. - The Canucks' front office is more available than ever, and we extract insights. Among the most superficial and tangential: Patrick Allvin is the future of ASMR, and Carey Price had the most horrific ears mask of all time. - The view from Section 307 as the boys Eeyore themselves to the brink of playoff irrelevance. - Boudreau (sorry, "Bruce") questions the team's readiness, and after a detour through Michael Jordan's towel-centric process we're poachin' coaches and tip-toeing across Jannik Hansen's lawn. - Ardella is becoming radicalized online and Tristan wishes that he could cut as sharply up the ice as a Tohoku Free Blade. Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
83 minutes | Feb 15, 2022
Ep 147: Me Without Me (2022/02/15)
This week in anguish: - Despite winning the week, we fear we are living in the twilight of the idols. We love our new management group and their putative vision, but who will be the first to go once Jim starts to philosophize with a hammer? - Perhaps, if we all just close our eyes and misunderstand Bayern Munich's slogan hard enough, we can all stay as one big happy family after all. - Welcome Cammi Granato! You have risen to great hockey heights while reflexively batting off prejudiced attacks for over 20 years...but can you withstand our withering critique of your slapdash workflow as a children's author? - Yo Juho, I’m really happy for you, and I'ma let you finish, but the Canucks already had one of the best player-of-the-game objects of all time. One of the best of all time! - If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results, surely our plan to once again draft Elias Petterson in 2022 is flawless. Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
86 minutes | Feb 8, 2022
Ep 146: The Two "S" Rule (2022/02/08)
This week in anguish: - Podz and Högs both get a night in or around the pressbox, and in the latter case we strain to avoid using the term "pork scratchings". - Tallying Bruce's winning weeks. - Huge Hughes news, and a rare point of controversy as we debate player travel during the All-Star break. - Like so many others, we unhinge our jaws and stare agape at just how badly Rocky Wirtz and Gary Bettman are handling life, the universe, and everything. - Passing notions and superficial observations on 50 years of Canuck all-stardom. - Remember the Challenge Cup in 1979? Or Rendez-Vous '87? Wanna? - How to build a cohesive dressing room in two easy steps (and one easy steppe). Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
77 minutes | Jan 31, 2022
Ep 145: She Sells Sanctuary (2022/01/31)
This week in anguish: - Is going description-less for the time being as I'm uploading it eight seconds before having to go to work. - Give it a listen! All shall be revealed.
99 minutes | Jan 24, 2022
Ep 144: We Have Guys That Do All That for Us (2022/01/24)
This week in anguish: - The boys pulled off a successful-on-our-terms road trip and a tremendously gutsy overtime loss to the Panthers, with Petey looking more and more like himself...so we focus on Petey’s less-than-stellar shootout attempt, and move-less attempts in general. - We welcome Rachel Doerrie to the fold with our patended mixture of over-familiarity, hyper-scrutiny, and the belief that quotes should never be burdened down by pesky context. - A journey into the rabbit hole of Ardella's mind, beginning at Ulf Samuelsson and ending with Jesse Boulerice face-sticking Ryan Kesler. - Like buzzards we pick over the verbal remains of Chris Gear and Nolan Baumgartner in the search for nourishing morsels. - The pod has a Pod, the PHF has more cash, the jerseys have more pride, the ECHL all star game has more representation, but most importantly of all... - What's wrong with Lumme? Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
105 minutes | Jan 18, 2022
Ep 143: I Want a Hero (2022/01/18)
This week in anguish: - Begins with twenty-five minutes of handwringing over the state of our Petey. Basically, we fret-manifested his scoring outburst later that morning, no big deal. - Breaking down our goal expectations and making sure the Boudreau bounce doesn't descend into a Desjardins dribble. - "This town ain't big enough for the both of us," said Probity to Competitive Advantage. - Why did there used to be two professional North American women's hockey leagues? Why is there now only one league and one "player's association"? Are we the baddies? A report. - Between the time it took to record and publish this, the PHF has announced their salary cap will more than double next season. This podcast is now basically a vision board.
84 minutes | Jan 11, 2022
Ep 142: The Stecher-Hedican Line (2022/01/11)
This week in anguish: - To paraphrase the dearly departed Jim Benning: "Why isn't anyone talking about Dennis Kearns?" We remedy that in an exhaustive yet bracingly brief retrospective of significant Canuck rearguards. - Ardella dusts off the Canucks Trophy Case, and takes us from the ballyhooed heights of Harts and Lindsays to the depths of the Mark Messier Leadership Award. - Tristan gets his ankles stuck in some bog-standard hockey names, struggling with such basics as Aloysius, Börje, and Dougan. - The Connecticut weather report: flurries of fluff this week, followed by showers of scholarly preparation the next.
70 minutes | Dec 31, 2021
Ep 141: Ufa is the New Örnsköldsvik (2021/12/30)
This week in anguish: - Five hundred! Mediocrity never tasted so sweet. Tristan defends Tanner Pearson, JT Miller censors himself for Ardella's benefit, good chaos, and other thoughts on the OT win vs Anaheim. - Dmitri Zlodeyev is our entry point to From Russia With Love, Ardella's half quiz, half retrospective segment on the finest Canucks you can find west of Kamchatka. - Friendship power rankings. Stocks are rising everywhere, but the ghost of Father Tanev looms large. - How Did We Not Know about Jason Strudwick's relations, and about Frank J. Selke's managerial precociousness? - This Week in Connecticut: boo to the Metropolitan Riveters; yay to the Brass Bonanza. Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
87 minutes | Dec 21, 2021
Ep 140: The Ghost Is Risen (2021/12/21)
This week in anguish: - Betcha forgot about the plight of those plucky '01-'02 Canucks. Well, they didn't forget about you. - Observations deriving from the recent mic'ings up of Messrs. Garland and Miller. - Mocking the prognosticators at the end of Carolina's Rutherford era. - The Smyl Files: The Coaching Years - How Did We Not Know when the Steamer first steamt? - We take one hangdog look back at a fresh-faced Travis Green on the day of his hiring, then immediately jettison him once again and focus more beams of adoration on the Boudreau family, who are bringing niceness back to Minnesota minor hockey. - Remember Scott Walker? So do we...in this portion of the show! - This Week in Connecticut: We stare a gift whale in the mouth, and are delighted by what we find there. Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
66 minutes | Dec 15, 2021
Ep 139: How Low We Had to Go (2021/12/14)
This week in anguish: - Was recorded at 6:30 on Tuesday morning, which explains a) why we didn't mention anything about Covid once again stalking the Canucks, and b) our razor-sharp wits. - We go through the tumultuous week in fine detail, bursting all Joy's grapes upon our palates fine until we find the one that turns to ash in our mouths. Then we focus on that one quite a bit, admittedly. - Extends, as it now always shall, into the great (?) state of Connecticut to check in on our newly-beloved denizens of the Danbury Ice Arena. Go Whale. Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
94 minutes | Dec 6, 2021
Ep 138: Push Both Buttons (2021/12/05)
This week in anguish: - Has achieved peak irrelevance by recording a 1½ hour audio interpretation of a franchise listlessly circling the drain, entirely unaware that massive, long-overdue changes were a few hours away. - Wait - weren't the Abbotsford Canucks supposed to be good at least? - Ardella has a new Google search term emotional temperature: jokes. - We crunch the numbers on Petey's generosity. - Halcyon Canucks quotes from days when we might have sucked nearly as hard, but we still managed to have fun doing it. - Jason Farris is a very smart man who wrote some ostensibly very smart things about the traits of successful hockey organizations. Unfortunately, everything keeps coming up Bowman in the end. - Wait again - what actually went down around the 2015 firings of Laurence Gilman and Lorne Henning? (Sorry, Eric Crawford.) - 15 years of Canucks' talent evaluation misadventures as exemplified by the top 107 current KHL scoring leaders. - Random insights derived from searching the terms "scott melanby" in the Vancouver Sun and Province archives from 2008-2011. - Francesco told us it would be darkest before the dawn. In the dying moments of the Benning era, Tristan carves out a slice of his hockey heart and gives it to another, adopting the Connecticut Whale of the Premier Hockey Federation as his first ever Team I Am Also Cheering For. - I thought we were playing the Boston Pride later that afternoon. Turned out it was the Minnesota Whitecaps. And we won! This concludes Ep. 0 of This Week in Connecticut. Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
77 minutes | Nov 28, 2021
Ep 137: Spats (2021/11/28)
This week in anguish: - We float in a numb purgatory, suffering ever new and ever more bad occurrences, while never getting the cathartic release of the consequences of those occurrences. - In what months are general managers most likely to be fired, and how many NHL games are they most likely to have played in? Behold the dual missing links in our managerial puzzle. - A serious media spat between serious journalists has Tristan asking, "Seriously?" - Is it better for Canuck fans at this stage to just not show up, or to show up and be visibly, vocally ticked off? - The Great Arena Rift between Bo Horvat and JT Miller has us thumbing through the archives and dredging up spats past. - Jockwatch 1984 2021: Still a joke. - Ardella's emotional barometer can be read by her Google search terms of choice. This week? "Worst failures to meet expectations in Canucks history." Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
87 minutes | Nov 23, 2021
Ep 136: Save Yourselves (2021/11/22)
This week in anguish: - Jim Benning, recognizing that we are kinesthetic learners, punches us while we're down with a demonstration of just what a losing culture really looks like. - We want owners who will empower this team to finally win the Stanley Cup, or, in perpetual lieu of that, we want owners we can feel good about. We are often told to be thankful we have local owners. Who are these guys, anyhow? And how do they run the less obsessively-scrutinized businesses in their empire? - Direct your gazes navel-ward as we continue to track this rebuilding(?) team's unbeknownst-to-them quest to live up to the exploits of their double decade forebears, the 2001/02 Canucks. - A little bit of Jannik Hansen? - The time has come, the co-host said, to talk of many things: of shots, and posts, and crossbars whacked, and whither the shooter's ping? - How Did We Manage To Get This Far In Life and not really know how secondary assists are tabulated? Thanks for listening! This episode supports the Hockey4Youth foundation and HerosHockey.
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