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The Wrong Hands: Your Beginners' DnD Podcast

66 Episodes

93 minutes | Aug 18, 2022
And Friends, Ep 20: (NSFW) ”Have you ever jerked off a lion man?”
Site E7 has become the strangest insight into this primitive time we've uncovered so far. The large quantity of fluids we believe were stored at this site is evidenced in the glass vials we found and the traces within them. The trace analysis reveals that reproductive fluid of some kind, from a highly evolved creature, at some point resided in these vials. I can only speculate what they must have been doing with it at a venue seemingly based on entertainment. - Archaeologist Ankil's log, 2341 D
135 minutes | Jul 5, 2022
Group 2, Ep 22: ”I didn’t realize I pooped”
Wow, that took a while but I found them. Irritatingly, still alive. But, no matter. I can map around them. It looks like they're heading towards our tenant, so I won't have to deal with them too much longer. Hopefully, they haven't permanently damaged anything that would require a map change, I know master hates map changes. - Withers' journal
134 minutes | Feb 22, 2022
Group 2, Ep 21: ”Mrs. Chameleon”
Where did they go?! I know every inch of this place....don't I? How long has it been since I did my mapping run? Perhaps master will be able to tell me. Although, he'll expect me to have handled those details. I may be inviting trouble if I ask him. It's time for a new mapping run. I'll wait until after they've 'concluded' their journey. - Withers' journal
94 minutes | Nov 16, 2021
And Friends, Ep 19: ”I saw ‘very rare‘ and panicked”
Site E7 shows traces of what we think is a Hallow spell. The strongest remnants we've seen from an Orphian-era site. My colleagues and I felt somewhat cheerier while digging. We also discovered a number of what appear to be game machines and game playing equipment. As is common in this kind of establishment, we also discovered a large quantity of fluids. - Archaeologist Ankil's log, 2340 D
104 minutes | Oct 15, 2021
The Bumble Bees, Ep 19: “The Laboratory”
The Diary of R.S. Nested universes are better but a lot more initial effort to create. And, apparently, tense to maintain. Perhaps I need to go in a direction other than universes for fuel. But, I've earned a break. The Bumble Bees are on cable again, I'm gonna see where they go this time and what obvious encounters they fuck up.
111 minutes | Sep 14, 2021
And Friends, Ep 18: “Keith and the purple paste”
Site C2 is strangely primitive, given what we know about the civilisations of this time. It seems to be a basic campsite. Although, there are far more tools and possessions here than the number of humanoid remains would indicate. Perhaps a hermit or hoarder of sorts resided here? However, the other set of remains we found in the area is clearly a creature from another realm. It appears to be winged and predatory. Perhaps it was the reason this small, hoarder humanoid died so violently. Violently doesn't even start to cover it, really. Something had a grudge against this small...man.  - Archaeologist Ankil's log, 2339 D
117 minutes | Aug 31, 2021
The Bumble Bees, Ep 18: “Stage a coup”
The Diary of R.S. Created a small universe today. Burning it in my pipe did not provide the high I was looking for. Watching these dopes is only tolerable while high. Although, there's certainly violence. Maybe I need to make a series of nested universes and burn that for a denser flame. Yes, I'll try it and report back.
116 minutes | Aug 13, 2021
Group 2, Ep 20: “The worm”
Yes, my pets, this is the floor that will be your undoing. The master's riddles may be helping but they'll be of little use against the resident of this floor. - Withers' journal
3 minutes | Jul 29, 2021
And Friends, Ep 17: “Joser's village”
I no longer hold out hope that you're alive. I know this is a gesture entirely for myself. Or...perhaps, for your loved one. I'm finding my search challenging. Without the resources of our outpost, I'm working in the dark. But I have found one group that we were keeping tabs on. Hopefully, they'll lead me to the prototypes still unrecovered, although I don't know why they would. I suppose groups like theirs tend to seek out objects, people, and places of great power. Anyway, I've made this report in the form of a bedtime story, as I did once before. I hope it finds someone who needs it.   - Galahad
135 minutes | Jul 22, 2021
Group 2, Ep 19: "Goat man"
If only the Master could suck away all the dumb luck from the area, in addition to the loose souls. At least they delve ever deeper. Heartened by their escapes, their confidence will build, drawing my grasp ever tighter around their throats.  - Withers' journal
125 minutes | Jul 1, 2021
And Friends, Ep 16: "Bottle episode"
Site B4 appears to contain the ruin of a kind of primitive kitchen. Most puzzling is the presence of sand in the kitchen and even in the food. We checked whether this was rubble and, no, the arcane bubble protected most of the sites from rubble over the millennia. They seem to have intentionally added sand to their food, or, at least, they did in this city. - Archaeologist Danell's log, 2337 D
121 minutes | Jun 10, 2021
The Bumble Bees, Ep 17: "The Designer"
The Diary of R.S. There must be something else on but I can't bring myself to change the channel for some reason. Why so many panthers? 
128 minutes | May 21, 2021
Group 2, Ep 18: "all but the greatest thieves"
The master wants me to lure them down. I'll reduce patrol frequency but keep new batches in production. I hope they find the wine. The wine is my favourite. - Withers' journal
116 minutes | May 4, 2021
Group 2, Ep 17: “Did I at least look hella cool?”
Reevaal is a strange place. The South side is terribly civilised, I must admit, I'm a fan of it. But, the North, I don't want to sound rude in my own journal; think of future generations who will read it! But, the North side is a little...messy? I'll stay for a short while, entertaining the locals with my stories, before continuing my journey East into the forest.   - Volo's journal ***** Our Kickstarter, Molldini's Silver Pack: The Deck of Even More Things, inspired by this podcast, is now live! Visit the link below to find out more and pledge today: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1220363178/molldinis-silver-pack-a-deck-of-even-more-things
120 minutes | Apr 27, 2021
Group 2, Ep 16: "Hefty cube sack"
I've changed my mind. The journey to The Roost was dull (and a little scary). I shall venture Eastward toward the Eastern forest. Little seems to be known of it, which means it is a prime candidate to be Volo'd!  - Volo's journal ***** Our Kickstarter, Molldini's Silver Pack: The Deck of Even More Things, inspired by this podcast, will be launching on May 4. Visit the link below to be notified when it goes live: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1220363178/molldinis-silver-pack-a-deck-of-even-more-things
128 minutes | Apr 15, 2021
And Friends, Ep 15: "Crotch protected"
A great battle took place at Site B23. After today's discoveries, I'm sure of it. There's evidence of significant arcane damage: scorching, electromagnetic interference, and some kind of other-worldly disturbance. The zealots tell me a pretty serious deity must have been present, or at least their avatar summoned, to leave marks like the ones we've discovered with our scanners. I'm excited to dig further and uncover more of this strange and powerful civilisation. - Archaeologist Danell's log, 2337 D ***** Our Kickstarter, inspired by this podcast, will be launching soon. Visit the link below to be notified when it goes live: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1220363178/molldinis-silver-pack-a-deck-of-even-more-things
122 minutes | Apr 9, 2021
Group 2, Ep 15: "Extended sleeps"
What about 'Volo's Guide to Entertainment'? That may hurt my credentials as a serious explorer. Anyway, I think I should arrive at The Roost soon. I've heard interesting things. I'll give the place a chance to enthral me but I'm not going to force it. I've heard stories about the Eastern forest, too. - Volo's journal ***** Our Kickstarter, inspired by this podcast, will be launching soon. Visit the link below to be notified when it goes live: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1220363178/molldinis-silver-pack-a-deck-of-even-more-things
111 minutes | Apr 2, 2021
The Bumble Bees, Ep 16: "Silky Smooth MF"
The Diary of R.S. They dream so small. They're using my discarded inventions as fuel. They could subjugate their local dimension with half the stuff I've chucked away. I suppose there's a reason I'm the inventor shark and they're the hack pilot fish. ***** Our Kickstarter, inspired by this podcast, will be launching soon. Visit the link below to be notified when it goes live: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1220363178/molldinis-silver-pack-a-deck-of-even-more-things
118 minutes | Mar 26, 2021
And Friends, Ep 14: "True cause"
My faith in them may be misplaced. - Excerpt from an ancient manuscript. Language: unknown ***** Our Kickstarter, inspired by this podcast, will be launching soon. Visit the link below to be notified when it goes live: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1220363178/molldinis-silver-pack-a-deck-of-even-more-things
110 minutes | Mar 16, 2021
Group 2, Ep 14: "Who might you be?"
I'm considering a moustache. A large moustache. Although, it's quite warm around here. But, on the other hand, I am leaving soon. Anyway, back to business. I have enough content now to consider my next book title. Perhaps, 'Volo's Guide to Very Specific Things'? Or, 'Volo's Guide to Divination and Psychic Eavesdropping'? It's a bit long but more relevant, I suppose. - Volo's journal
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