Created with Sketch.
11 minutes | Jul 5, 2022
A Time to Be Born
I could be off base here, but I think most people who've not had the benefit of being born into wealth, if given a chance, would not choose the family they now have. Like most, what I may have opted for, would be based on affluence, privilege and geography. When I hear the phrase 'A time to be born,' I can't help but reflect on that moment in most funerals when you're recapping the details of the deceased's life. You begin to compare it to Solomon's fourteen contrasting seasons and times—each serving a particular purpose. (see Ephesians 1-8) In fact, whenever my life seems halted in a juxtaposition, I think about these verses, wondering what phase I'm in and if I'm handling it with any grace at all. My physical birth occurred in the summer of 1980, amid the dreaded hurricane season. And most times, my life felt stuck in that dynamic—a period of storms brewing in rapid succession. Still, like those disturbances, I'm convinced nothing could stop my arrival; it was simply my time.
13 minutes | Jan 25, 2022
So I used to work in a call center back in the day and ended up quitting weeks shy of my fifth anniversary. Let me tell you, though, saying that it was an eye-opening experience has to be the understatement of a lifetime. I learned in real-time during those many months that communication has nothing to do with what we say but what we hear. And while as an individual, I thought I had an excellent command of the English language, many days, I went home feeling like my elevator didn't go to the top floor. At first, it was all kicks and giggles, as though it was curated for the newbies to be routed the colourful folks—you know, baptism by fire, I called it. Like, how were they doing this to us? How was it that every day, things I thought were standard verbiage became complex that I had to water it down? No lie, I was so excited for the opportunity to walk people through issues. Me, a problem solver. A superhero in my own right. #avengerassemble Yet, I walked away from that experience, second-guessing everything I said before I said it, and I developed the annoying habit of over-explaining.
12 minutes | Jan 18, 2022
The other day, I was in a coffee shop drinking my water, minding my business. And by the other day, I mean pre-pandemic, and by water, I mean coffee. In came an elderly lady who sat next to me. We exchanged pleasantries, and by pleasantries, I mean a nod and a smile. She, too, was drinking her water. Although, I'm not sure she was minding her business because, from my peripheral vision, I could see her staring at me—rather intently. After what felt like an eternity, and by eternity I mean one sip of her water, she finally said, "Wow, you have beautiful skin!" I smiled, a bit uneasy and deflected by saying, "Yes, it's the weather, doing me all levels of justice!" And my urge to over-explain was brewing; I mean ready to bubble over. She looked at me, and in a matter-of-fact tone that only comes with an elderly badge of honour, she said, "Oh, hush, could you just take the compliment?" Feeling a little shame, I said coyly, "Yes, ma'am, thank you!" and we continued to chat briefly. As she left, I could no longer focus on my reason for being there. I had an overwhelming urge to dig deeper. "Why did her compliment make me uncomfortable?"
11 minutes | Jan 11, 2022
I saw a homeless man sitting on the side of the road the other day. Next to him was perhaps everything he owned, covered by a tarp, in a supermarket trolley. My heart sank, and I began wondering what could have possibly happened in this man's life that landed him in this position? Far be it from my pointless curiosity, something very profound got my attention. I was no longer fixated on his condition but instead that he sat there, in his state, reading a book. You'd think he'd be there lamenting over his many woes. I know I would. I'm talking, big ole pity party on lock! But no, he was there soaking in information. I don't know what book he was reading or why. But from observation alone, I concluded that his circumstance didn't define him as it might others. I realized he wasn't waiting for the conditions to be perfect for him to do something worthwhile or productive. To me, he appeared to start with what was in his reach.
13 minutes | Jan 4, 2022
New Year, Same Ol 'G
It feels like yesterday that I wrote about 'new year, new me season' that seems to descend upon us like the plagues of Egypt every 12 months. Ah yes, another round of cut-offs, clearing social media friend feeds and contact lists. And lest we forget the 300,000 vision board party flyers. I mean, nothing against it but seventy-five bucks for me to use my own glue stick, glitter, and scissors to create a homemade poster while someone stands in their cute-fit to the front of the room—hmm, no thanks. (insert trapsy emoji) Nonetheless, I was not at all enthused by the impending possibility of yet another 365 to make any major changes, other than to ensure my words matched my actions. Still, I was reminded of the sentiment that "The more things change, the more they remain the same." Or "There is nothing new under the sun!" Oh boy, I was about to descend into the rabbit hole of revolving thoughts. To be completely honest, I was conflicted; you'll. On the one hand, the famous quote that says, 'the only constant in life is change,' denotes that change should happen, and if it's not, maybe something somewhere isn't growing. But then my life in Christendom echoes God doesn't change. So, do I change or nah?
8 minutes | Dec 14, 2021
Suddenly, my thoughts of Christmases past were met with the harsh present-day reality that all things I'd hoped for to this end seemed out of reach with no end in sight. (Sigh) Bah Humbug! The longer I pondered, the more I got irritated. The mere thought of my Christmas lather, rinse, repeat cycle was steady, giving me the heebie-jeebies. "So, pretty girl like you een married yet?" was about to be the question I now consider more irritating than the near interrogations about my weight influxes. In fact, any social outing where I'd face an opportunity to be grilled by all the insensitive people was gonna get me all in my feelings or force me to hurt some feelings. I wasn't interested in either parity. Believe me; I didn't need an office memo issued to remind me that I was growing older by the second. Nor did I need an update that my womb has somehow shrivelled up and become utterly useless (at least that's how they'd make you feel). While this time of year should be about togetherness, it's the pressure to 'be' that makes you wanna take a hard pass.
11 minutes | Dec 7, 2021
The Haves & The Have Nots
Disclaimer: Today's piece has nothing to do with Tyler and dem. Honestly, I've never even watched the show. Now that that's out of the way let's get to it. I remember hearing a phrase not long ago, though I can't recall where—it was said. 'People don't want purpose; they want prizes.' As I pondered that thought, I couldn't help but look over my life and think of the motivation behind many of my so-called goals. There was no surprise there; it was more about me reaping benefits rather than pursuing the reason I was destined.
13 minutes | Nov 23, 2021
All my life, I've heard the words' obedience is better than sacrifice!' Suffice it to say, while I always thought I knew exactly what this phrase meant, I can't explain what that initial thought process was. Meaning I can't put it into words that would make sense enough to make it make sense—if that makes sense. Needless to say, the first sentiment went up in flames. And as of late, I've found a new appreciation for this phrase—hang tight, and I'll cue you in soon enough. In my short life to date, I've made some questionable choices. I mean, downright nonsensical. Some of those choices were as blatant as seeing fire spewing from the stove but opting to take my bare hand and slap it on there regardless. Then, of course, cry. I mean, wailing that I got burned.
20 minutes | Nov 16, 2021
My life is no Romeo and Juliet melodrama, but I've had a riveting mix of bitter and sweet moments. I've had what felt like eleventy thousand jobs but no Career. As I’m sure, it sounds like a skyrillion relationships, too. Though in actuality, it's only been 4—at times, I'm talking about the same person but from a different vantage point. I even reckoned that I've had a bajillion places that, at some point, I called home. Not to forget the assortment of friends that garnished my various stages in life. I know to you, the listening audience, I sound like a mess—and you'd be mostly right. For a long time, perhaps I was. Even so, it's easy to sit in a seat of judgment, especially when sorrow (that is, heartbreak and sadness) looks different on everyone.
14 minutes | Nov 9, 2021
A friend of mine posted the other day on social media, "If I read, 'understood the assignment' one more time!" I hit the laughing emoji immediately because I could see her rolling her eyes as she typed it. Understanding the assignment seems to be the order of the day, but I'm curious to know how we can understand the assignment when we have no clue what it is in some instances. Actually, no, that is a bit presumptuous. I think we are focused on the wrong assignment. Yeah, maybe that's it. I think the assignment, more than anything else, is what's "Clearly Misunderstood"—this refers to someone who completely missed the point or did not understand something or someone. Many of us are walking around screaming at each other like Chris Tucker in Rush Hour, "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" And in kind, when people don't respond how we expect, rather than say it a different way, we keep repeating the same thing, only louder.
15 minutes | Nov 3, 2021
Right out the gate, there is nothing civil about war. No, all is NOT fair in love and war because if that were the case, then kingdoms would not have been divided over who couldn't marry whom, and Jesus' death would (a) never have happened or (b) not been so brutal. A civil war is described as a battle between citizens of the same country. For the purpose of this exercise, we'll use the term metaphorically. It's no shocking surprise that most wars are first among people that are members of the same house. Crazy, right? Mark explains plainly how this is damaging, "If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. Although, the NLT version is more direct when it says, "Similarly, a family splintered by feuding will fall apart." (Mark 3:25) Mmm-mmm-mmm, issa whole word right there!
16 minutes | Oct 26, 2021
Separated but Living Together
There are roughly 6,500 languages in the world. You're more than likely living in a place where most people speak your language, dare I even say, with almost the same accent. Yet you can feel like no one understands you. Still, you're in a place with everyone who looks similar to you—with the same skin hue, experiencing the same struggles, following the same patterns, in the same mundane job, going to the same predictable church service, and taking the same curated (fake) pictures for the gram. While we're all leading separate lives, is it really our commonalities that bind us and the difference that set us apart? Or, could it be that we're all in the same trenches, together, although we may live apart?
15 minutes | Oct 19, 2021
When I think of being alone, it's the silence that makes that feeling a reality. It's the absence of discourse that forces you to be painfully aware it's just you in a room. Even when a room is full of people, and there is chatter in every crevice, if no one is speaking to you, it's the same as two strangers sitting on a park bench. They are alone, but together. I've experienced several kinds of silence in relationships. There was a silence where words weren't needed: a smile, a touch, a nod, a furrowed brow, or widened eyes. Even the subtleties of body language were an entirely enjoyable and understood conversation. Then there was silence where no words were adequate to explain what was happening. All I knew was the silence became deafening, and anything said would have cued an avalanche. That type of quiet makes you feel alone, misunderstood, unheard and completely disregarded, all while next to someone. It's that silence that makes two people start questioning the intent and sincerity of every word and action.I've also experienced self-induced solitude. The kind that comes when you start cleaning the emotional closet. Categorizing people based on how they regard you or lack thereof. But there is no loneliness like being alone in a room full of people. There's no alone like walking into an event holding hands with someone you've just had a thirty-minute car ride quieter than the night before Christmas. It makes me wonder how is loneliness greater in an overly connected world, or is it worst knowing that you're never alone, even when you always feel like it? And is silence and loneliness interchangeable?
11 minutes | Oct 12, 2021
The Same, Only Different
I can't speak for anyone else, but I often wonder if God was serious when He picked me! When I think of my inhibitions or those things I can't share with the world, I'm like, "Whew Lord, are You sure You want me to represent You?" In life, I think it's natural to observe people, and sometimes low-key wanna be like them. Well, no, let me speak for myself. There was a point I wanted to be quiet and reserved. Ladylike and dainty with grace and poise and elegance—and if you know me in real life, you'd know most of which, I'm NOT!
14 minutes | Oct 5, 2021
Accidentally on Purpose
Let me just put it out there; I've exercised this defence a few times in my life. "Oh, I thought your text said it started at 7:30 pm, not 7:00 pm!" Yeah, I wanted to be late, so I didn't get stuck doing something I knew I'd be called on to do. I've even sent a text to the right wrong number cause I knew its contents was gonna get a reaction. I, too, have said some mean things with a smile that I knew was below the belt cause we all know how to plant seeds of doubt in a person about themselves and then pass it off as, "Girl, I was only joking!" But was I, though?
16 minutes | Sep 28, 2021
I recently read somewhere how in ancient Greek plays, one man would play multiple roles. Onstage, he wore one mask, then went backstage to put on a new mask for playing another role. This person was called the 'hupokrites,' that's where we get the word 'hypocrite.' Hypocrisy is the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behaviour does not conform; pretense. Layman's terms, we be lying, aka we say one thing and do the next—aka (for my saints), we don't practice what we preach. Though this has nothing to do with the pandemic, masks should not be worn to display oneself to some and not others. It shows a lack of authenticity. I believe God wants us to be exactly who He made us to be, no matter who is watching.
14 minutes | Sep 21, 2021
Having a choice means there are multiple options available. So how can one be faced with an 'only choice?' This oxymoron occurs when contradictory words are used together. In this case, there are multiple options when it comes to "choice." And when we say "only," we mean one thing only. You see how they are very different, almost opposing? In reality, there will always be more than one choice. So what in the dickens can I be meaning? I'm glad you asked; stay tuned!
14 minutes | Sep 14, 2021
I'm sure you've heard phrases like, "You just like ya pa (father)!" "You're the spitting image of your mother." Or, "I wanna be like you when I grow up." Shoot, back in the 90's everyone was singing, "I wanna be like Mike!" On the other hand, there are well-known brands, and then there are generic brands. There is a clear and distinct contrast between designer pieces and their knockoff. And there are palatable differences between authentic Italian pizza and pizza bought from the frozen food section. Either way, deep in the recesses of who we are, we want to be set apart; we desire to be 'the first.' We want to be that standard by which all bars are set. Humans, at their core, want to be the chef's kiss to anything they put their hands to.
13 minutes | Sep 7, 2021
This oxymoron, is one of those things we say without much thought on how weird it sounds. How can something simulated (replicated) also be deemed real? Is it because of all this visual stimulation that we've lost sight of what's real? How can we enjoy what's implied but stay dialled in to what is real?
18 minutes | Jun 29, 2021
You'll know Petty? Well, let me tell you'll 'bout her. She was me, and I was she! My petty was like the Lebron James of relationships. I could go from ultimate beast mode to milking a flop like someone just bulldozed me with their 7'ft. 1'in. 325lbs body! Like many, I embraced the petty; I became one with the petty. I put 'she on like a warm winter coat as the chill of a Swiss Alps winter softly kissed my sun-deprived cheeks. I was giving childish. I was giving shady. I was giving spiteful. I mean, I was serving passive-aggressive like I was Cash Money taking over for the 99's & 2000's. ”Hi there, welcome to Pettyville—where the odds are always against you!”
Terms of Service
Do Not Sell My Personal Information
© Stitcher 2022