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"The definition I prefer to use is that abuse is a pattern of behavior with the design, intent, or consequence of making someone unable to leave a situation." "We need to expand our conceptions of abuse because so many support systems are using methods of understanding that are heteronormative and based entirely on married people, much less mononormative." CW: this episode speaks about patterns of behavior and harm that can comprise abusive relationships, and while it strives not to be explicit, it may be triggering for some survivors of abuse. Use your discretion for if or the timing of when you listen. Laura speaks with Claire Travers of Poly Pages regarding abuse in polyamory, resources for folks who believe they may be in abusive relationships, and the most well known examples of abuse in polyam relationships. Claire Travers runs events, a podcast, webcasts, and research hubs for Poly Pages, an academic-focused resource on polyamory, which you can find at www.polypages.org. You can also find her on instagram and tiktok @polypages. Poly Pages is partnered with The Network La Red in the USA and Refuge in the UK to expand definitions and understandings of abuse outside of hetero-mononormative views. You can find The Network La Red at https://www.tnlr.org/en/ and they have a Zoom event "Coffee with The Network La Red" this sunday about the nuance in "the myth of mutual abuse" and some of the "flying monkey" and "DARVO" issues Claire and I discuss in this episode as well as the "no perfect victim" issues Alicia and I discussed in the previous one on March 26 at 10 am. You can find the registration link and more at their linktree here: https://linktr.ee/thenetworklared Refuge for those in the UK can be found here: https://refuge.org.uk/

Content Warning: throughout this episode, we speak frankly of forms of emotional, financial, and physical abuse. There is no particularly graphic content and the episode is "safe for work" in a traditional sense, but it may be triggering to some listeners and begins with a similar audio content warning. Listen at a time and in a place when you have the capacity to care for yourself, especially if you are a survivor of abuse. "There are several conversations our community should be having about abuse but the first step should be to acknowledge it happens in polyamorous relationships." "Mainstream polyamorous discourse is simply not trauma-informed and therefore is mostly ridiculous. It ignores people's reality and becomes a richer tool for abusers." In this episode, Laura sits down with Alicia Bunyan-Sampson, of Polyamorous Black Girl, to discuss abuse in polyamorous relationships and the conversations the polyam community needs to be having around this challenging topic. They go over the ways the polyam community's wider conversation fails survivors by implying that polyamory is "more enlightened" than monogamy; the ways being a subculture can begin the work of isolating a victim for an abuser; the fact that there is no such thing as a "perfect victim" and that this complicates public perception of abuse; some conversations the community needs to have more often; and more. You can find a listing of all Alicia's websites and social media at https://bio.site/polyamorousblackgirl, but she is frequently posting on instagram @polyamorousblackgirl (https://www.instagram.com/polyamorousblackgirl/?hl=en) on tiktok @polyamorousblkgrl (https://www.tiktok.com/@polyamorousblkgrl) and on twitter @polyamblackgirl (https://twitter.com/polyamblackgirl). As always you can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at readyforpolyamory.com and the full links to all her social media and upcoming projects at linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory. Special Guest: Alicia Bunyan-Sampson .

Non-monogamy is a big umbrella! polyamory isn't the only thing that falls under it. Often, folks can be a little Holier-than-thou (polier-than-thou?) about their nonmonogamy, implying that polyamory is more evolved than other kinds of consensual non-monogamy or being decidedly sex-negative when they learn that folks entered their nonmonogamous journey from opening to swinging or being "monogamish" instead of polyamorous. So on today's episode we're going to talk about the kind of middle spaces that many folks actually continue to exist in (eg, polyam people with ongoing relationships who also have casual encounters or attend sex parties, or swingers who play with the same people for many years and become exceptionally close), as well as what these communities can learn from one another. Our guests today are Emma and Fin of the Normalizing Non-Monogamy podcast, who interview hundreds of non-mono individuals to share the extremely broad variation in the realities of nonmonogamous folks' lives. They share their own story with us here. You can find their podcast on most podcast platforms and their site here: https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/ https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/community

"It's really just a matter of making sure people really see me, Ebony, and me includes non-binary identity as well as the experience of Black womanhood." "It's been one thing to have issues in dating, but more than wrong pronouns or disrepect from partners, it's been metamours seeing me as a woman because of shared partners." In response to listener questions about non-binary experience in a polyamorous relationship landscape, Laura sits down with Ebony of Marjani Lane to gain first person perspective on this issue. Ebony shares their perspective on the ways being non-binary can narrow dating pool, how other privileges and marginalized identities intersect with nonbinary identity, and ways that the polyam community tricks itself into thinking it's more inclusive while not walking that talk. You can find Marjani Lane the account on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/marjanilane/) @MarjaniLane as well as using the Direct Me (https://direct.me/marjanilane) page to find other social media, ways to tip Ebony, and a subscribe button to hear when they update. If you're interested in following Laura and readyforpolyamory, check out the website readyforpolyamory.com (readyforpolyamory.com) or her linktree (linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory)to find all social media, the book, and peer support options.

"My relationship structure now is significantly less hierarchical than it was when my partner and I came back to polyamory with one another." "Dangling possibilities for years is just so much worse than admitting 'this is a thing that I cannot offer." Laura and Amy discuss the practical applications of hierarchy - whether strictly applied or tacitly existing, and ways that it can be both positive and negative depending on treatment, in this week's episode. They also make some commentary on the most common issues they see brought up online in large polyam groups and the commonalities of those. Amy Norton is a sex writer who can be found talking about polyamory on Twitter @AmyisPolyam.

"It's just been wild to see the explosion of representation of polyamory on tv the last few years." "When I started my polyamory in media series there were like 2 movies and me digging for 30 year old comics and 60 year old books, and now there is so much available." Laura and Abbie sit down to talk about recent tv series portraying polyamory (and other nonmonogamy and how the two get conflated in media), as well as the proliferation of content referencing these shows in a positive way, and casual mentions of polyamory in "non-polyam" tv becoming more common. Listen to understand why they love Trigonometry, find You meh but fine, and enjoyed the Gossip Girl reboot, among other shows. When Abbie (she/they) isn't writing, reading or creating content for TikTok (@Polyanarchy), she hangs out with her polycule and her two crazy dogs or helps with direct action in her community. They have been polyamorous for 4 years and practices non-hierarchical Kitchen Table Polyamory. Follow Abbie @polyanarchy on tiktok to get their detailed takes on books, movies and tv featuring non-monogamy. As always you, can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at readyforpolyamory.com, on Instagram and Tiktok @readyforpolyamory, and on Twitter @ready4polyamory; and her book on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860) & Audible (https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us). Special Guest: Abbie K.

“I find that minimizing other relationships doesn’t do what people think it will- you have to move through discomfort anyway.” “If you can’t talk about a kind of sex or a relationship style with the people you want it with, you may not be ready to have it.” On today's podcast, Laura sits down with Yana Tallon-Hicks, LMFT, to discuss the comforts and complications of polyam relationship networks when it comes to communicating our needs and wants, especially regarding our sex lives. From communicating with partners and polycule members about STI status to changes in relationships, she's got lots of useful advice for the practicalities of having these conversations. They also discuss nonmonogamy while parenting and communicating bandwidth to new and potential partners. Yana Tallon-Hicks, LMFT, is a couples and relationships therapist and a consent, sex, and sexuality writer and educator living in Western Massachusetts. Her work centers around the belief that pleasure-positive and consent-based sex education can positively impact our lives and the world. Connect with her socially on Instagram @the_vspot and professionally at yanatallonhicks.com (yanatallonhicks.com). Order your copy of Hot and Unbothered (out August 16) at yanatallonhicks.com/preorder (yanatallonhicks.com/preorder) or wherever you buy books. As always you, can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at readyforpolyamory.com, on Instagram and Tiktok @readyforpolyamory, and on Twitter @ready4polyamory; and her book on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860) & Audible (https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us).

"We don't automatically or invisibly put expectations on each other - that leads to resentment and conflict." "To heck with the hyper independent BS - community and the autonomous individual existing together is where it's at." Laura and Michelle Hy of Polyamorous While Asian chat about solopolyamorous dating, creating symbolism in your relationships, and the cocreation of expectations within a relationship. Learn about Mchelle's dating approach of "High standards, low expectations," ideas about community focus and coregulation in relationships while maintaining autonomy, and the possible radical and anticapitalist applications of polyamory as a framework for relationships. You can find Michelle at https://polyamorouswhileasian.com/ and on Instagram @polyamorouswhileasian. The original "High Standards, Low Expectations" post can be found at https://polyamorouswhileasian.com/articles/high-standards-low-expectations As always you can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at readyforpolyamory.com, on Instagram and Tiktok @readyforpolyamory, and on Twitter @ready4polyamory.

"Sometimes a particular adult's involvement ebbs and flows but there isn't the kind of sudden disappearance or 'revolving door' that serial monogamists imagine with polyamorous dating because we've built a lot of community." "We were really anxious about coming out to the kids, and did, and asked if they had questions, and one of them, very in character for him, said 'Yes - can I have another hamburger?'" In today's episode, Laura sits down with her friends Jim Miles and Shanon Murray to talk about what it's like being the polyamorous parents of five kids between the ages of 2 and 19. They share the story of coming out to their 4 older children, what various family reception of this information was like, and advice for other polyamorous parents of tweens and teens in talking about nonmonogamous relationships with their kids. Jim is an engineer with a large media company; Shanon is a parenting coach with professional training in art therapy and marriage and family therapy; they live in Southern CT with their 5 children and maintain an extended polycule of partners and chosen family locally. Shanon Murray is a parenting coach in Stratford CT, helping families reach their full potential utilizing art along with other techniques and strategies. She is a nationally certified art therapist, and holds a certification as an early childhood educator in Montessori education. She is accepting new clients, and is happy to work with families virtually or in person. She can be reached by phone: 914-388-7343 email shanon.murray@yahoo.com Or though her Facebook page: https://m.facebook.com/329129277228489/ You can find some of Laura's Polyamorous Parenting FAQs on the blog here (https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/polyamorous-parenting-frequently-asked-questions). As always, the podcast's music is by Vince Conaway who you can find at www.vinceconaway.com. You can find the blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com; the book on Amazon in kindle and paperback here (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ); the audiobook can be found here (https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us); links to first appointments for peer support with Laura here (https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory#buyCommissionModal); and we'll be back at the end of the summer with Season 6.

"Acknowledging compersion isn't denying our jealousy. You can have a lot of different emotional 'foods' on your 'plate' at once." "We shouldn't beat ourselves up if we don't feel compersion the first day, just like we don't beat up our gardens for not sprouting the day we first plant and water the seeds." Laura and Dr. Liz Powell talk about how to interpret your jealousy, use it as information to keep yourself moving toward your values even when it's hard, and to see compersion as a non-required but aquirable skill that you can work on if you want to. Polyamorous references often make jealousy into a sort of boogeyman spectre and compersion into its antidote, and neither of these things are true - pretty much at all. Emotions are a lot messier than the idea of putting them on opposing spectrums makes it sound, and relationships are a lot more fluid than blaming all problems on "you're just jealous" and all solutions on "being more compersive" could ever cover. So join us for today's podcast episode for a discussion of some of the why and some of the how of both parts of this issue. Ready For Polyamory links that touch on Jealousy and Compersion: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/hard-won-compersion https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/podcast-episode-5-compersion https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/compersion-is-not-mandatory https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/emotional-ergonomics-boundaries-and-self-compassion https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/jealousy-insecurity-and-nesting https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/season-3-episode-9-practical-solutions-for-jealousy-and-fomo https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/but-don-t-you-get-jealous https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/jealousy-and-hierarchy Link to Dr. Liz's compersion slides and worksheets that they were kind enough to make available: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/15wgY-uA33jwiHXZ80y7tfYXQKRiIEOLK Dr. Liz is a sex educator, therapist, speaker, and author who works with singles, couples, and polycules across the sexual spectra to improve their lives - including the sexual portions of them. They work with anyone who wants to cultivate healthy, consent-driven, and autonomy-focused relationships, although non-monogamists, non-binary folx, kinksters, and queerdos are a special focus. You can learn more about their therapy practice (licensed in CA and OR) and coaching at their site, become a backer of their Patreon for early access and exclusive content at their Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/drliz, buy their book "Building Open Relationships" here (https://drlizpowell.com/buildingopenrelationshipsbook/) or follow their social media for more information on their future work. The Indiegogo for the audiobook version of their book Building Open Relationships is running now, check it out: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/building-open-relationships-audiobook#/ As always the Ready for Polyamory blog is at www.readyforpolyamory.com; you can find Laura at Twitter @lauracb88 and IG and TikTok @readyforpolyamory; the Ready for Polyamory facebook group at facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory, links to peer support sessions with Laura here (https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop#buyCommissionModal), and the Ready for Polyamory Audiobook here (https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us), as well as paperback and Kindle on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ). Special Guest: Dr. Liz Powell.

"I really think we could de-escalate the use of de-escalation as a term. Let's talk about transitions and changes maybe instead. It's more accurate." "De-escalating literally implies stepping down, a level lower, that something is less or worse, but often what is happening is a re-calibration so that relationships suit the needs of the people rather than preferencing a label over the humans using it." Many polyamorous and other nonmonogamous people (as well as some monogamous folks, especially separating coparents) are beginning to refer to major relationship changes or ends as de-escalations, regardless of the kind or intensity or direction of the change in the relationship. Laura and Roy of Open Relating talk about the mononormative implications of "break up" that seem to be driving this within the polyam community, and about alternative frameworks that don't give so much preference to relationships that are consistently romantic and sexual over long periods of time - because change is the only certainty in long term relating. The RfP blog on deescalation: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/why-de-escalation Roy Graff is a relationship coach and trainee psychotherapist based in London, who works with individuals, dyads, and polycules of various configurations and relationship styles. You can find Roy at openrelating.love (openrelating.love) and see his upcoming in person and digital events; he runs a digital support session and London, UK based in person events. His Instagram and Twitter are @openrelating As always, you can find the Ready for Polyamory blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com; Laura at Twitter @lauracb88 and IG and TikTok @readyforpolyamory; the Ready for Polyamory facebook group at facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory, links to peer support sessions with Laura here (https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop#buyCommissionModal), and the Ready for Polyamory Audiobook here, (https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us) as well as paperback and Kindle on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ).

"The purpose of a pride flag is unification and visibility for the represented group - and the current polyamory flag does neither." "If you say polyamory or kink or leather can't be at pride 'for the kids,' then it's your choice where to bring them, not our responsibility to celebrate differently for your comfort." In today's episode, Laura talks to Kristian of Polyamproud, the not-for-profit tryign to update polyamory's pride flag, about the polyam flag, pride parades, the purpose of pride, history behind different Pride events, and why any of this is important in the first place. We also have a pleasant little vent about people trying to gatekeep who can attend Pride events and how and why, and there is a bit more foul language than usual on my (Laura's) part in that bit, because as those of you who follow my Twitter (lauracb88) know, I really can't stand the "every Pride event must be appropriate for my five year old and my banker" crowd. Essentially, we're here, many of us are queer, and we'd like a better flag, please, and today we talk about why. I hope you enjoy the ride. There's a lot of good background info on this at polyamproud's site listed below, and at their linktree here (linktr.ee/polyamproud). Polyamproud is a volunteer-operated not-for-profit organization aimed at updating polyamory’s pride flag. Focusing on representation, inclusivity, and transparency, polyamproud is dedicated to ensuring as many polyamorous and non-monogamous people as possible have their voice heard in the democratic selection of an all-new pride flag. You can find them at polyamproud.com (polyamproud.com) or @polyamproud on Instagram and Twitter. In Ready for Polyamory news, the AUDIOBOOK IS HERE!! (https://www.audible.com/pd/Ready-for-Polyamory-Audiobook/B0B12KZFYR?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us) I'm excited about it and I know podcast listeners are a big chunk of who asked me about when it would be available in audio, so I'm glad to say, now! As always, you can visit the blog for weekly new posts or our archive of 250+ articles on polyamory at www.readyforpolyamory.com, and follow @readyforpolyamory on Instagram and Tiktok, as well as following the facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/ReadyForPolyamory/) or joining the Group (www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory). Peer support sessions are available, to book a single session to meet and see if we're a good fit use the link at my linktree or here (https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/commissions#buyCommissionModal) or if you know you'd like to work with me longer term, send an inquiry to readyforpolyamory@gmail.com and we'll discuss a plan that meets your needs.

"Solopolyamory flies in the face of this idea that if you love someone you'll want to be with them 24/7. It's just not true. We're here in defiance of it." "it's about this extreme representation of maintaining your personhood within relationships and re-inforcing that with your lifestyle choices." Today, the podcast discusses solo polyamory - what is it? How do solopolyam people live? What are some of the equivalent changes and balances in a space to accomodate partners that solopolyam partners can make, like the accomodation of partners discussed in our polyam cohabitation episode from Season 4, which ended up being unnecessarily couple-centric. With details like logistics of Ro's space as an example of how to lay out your boundaries for partners who come to your space, roommates and shared spaces, and answering listener questions that followed off of the cohabitation episode, this episode disambiguated solopolyamorous living for listeners who don't practice their polyamory this way. Ro Moëd is a relationship coach and passionate advocate for polyamory and relationship anarchy awareness. On their instagram (@unapolygetically) they use their background in adult education and linguistics to blend text, video and illustration, in order to cover various topics including conscious relating, solo polyamory, the language we use about relationships, and common issues in non-monogamy. You can also find them on Twitter @unapolygetic and find their coaching calendar at calendly.com/romoed. As always, you can find the Ready for Polyamory blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com, the book at Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ), Laura on Instagram and TikTok @readyforpolyamory and Twitter @lauracb88. The audiobook has just released and you can find it at audible (https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us).

"In this structure now, I have been able to figure out who I am and what I want. That isn't to say I haven't gone on dates - I've tried it - but my polysaturation point really is 1, and this way I have time for myself." "A lot of the time, people don't know what they will want yet - and they say and ask for what makes them feel safe. So it can make sense to not want to date a monogamous person if you're polyam. But also, give each other a chance to see how it works out if the connection is real and you have the emotional space to do it, when this is someone you really like. Because maybe they'll break your heart or you'll break theirs. But maybe you won't." On today's podcast episode, we discuss one of the most contentious segments of the polyamorous community: the Mono + Polyam relationship, where one partner truly feels monogamously oriented but is happy to engage with their polyam partner, who sees others. Phi of the Polyammering Blog and Monocorn Sanctuary facebook group is our guest today, talking about her essential beliefs that mono + polyam relationships work best when everyone approaches them from a relationship anarchist lens, when the monog person is essentially polyamorously-minded but polysaturated at one, and when communication is extremely open between partners. With a hint of "dating isn't fun, but polycules can be!" and a discussion of how polyamory freed her from codependent patterns in previous relationships where she lost herself in couplehood, Phi shares a lot of intimate relationship history about her last several years in mono + polyam relationships. Phoebe "Phi" Philips of polyammering.blog is a self-proclaimed Monocorn who has been writing, supporting, and educating on begalf of mono plus polyam relationships since 2015. She was recently named one of the top ten creators to follow on TikTok for polyamorous education. Special Guest: Pheobe "Phi" Phillips.

Today's episode contains frank discussion of sexuality and kink dynamics, listener be aware. "I feel like no one really talks about the ins and outs of intimacy that involves marks and BDSM dynamics, and it's worth talking about." Laura sits down with Annie Undone to talk about kink dynamics, polyamory from both sides of the slash, the pros and cons of kitchen table and parallel polyam dynamics when combined with kinky relationships, and the changes that shifts in these dynamics can cause within a polycule. To read more of Laura's takes on kink & polyamory and deescalating relationships, see these blog posts and past podcast episodes: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/relationship-anarchy-applied-friends-with-benefits-and-play-partners https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/combining-d-s-relationships-and-polyamory https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/why-de-escalation https://readyforpolyamory.fireside.fm/powerexchange https://readyforpolyamory.fireside.fm/raapplied AnnieUndone is a writer and artist seeking to normalize diverse sexual and love experiences because people deserve to be themselves. She speaks on the topics of polyamory, kink, and queerness. She began this work in earnest as a way to feel more enfranchised around the theme of kink, and then quickly realized that she was also polyamorous. She, her husband, and their partners are sharing their journeys of opening relationships and learning to let in more love so that people feel less alone in their humanity and desires to live outside the box. Follow her on Instagram at @Annie_Undone or join her Patreon here (https://www.patreon.com/AnnieUndone) for more content only available to subscribers. As always, you can find the blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com; the book is available on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860) in paperback and Kindle formats, and we'd love to have you with us on social media - there's the facebook page (www.facebook.com/readyforpolyamory) and group www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory; or Laura is on tiktok and instagram @readyforpolyamory and Twitter @lauracb88. You can help keep the blog and podcast ad-free by becoming a $3/month ko-fi supporter at www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory, and find details about upcoming classes and 1-1 peer support here (www.readyforpolyamory.com/events). Special Guest: Annie Undone.

"Nothing I do ever goes viral, but one of my posts that did pretty well recently said 'I want my polyamory to be less about compersion and more about compassion,' and I think that applies here." The only certainty in any relationship is that there will absolutely be change. Laura's guests this week are polyamorous event coordinators and educators who recognize that from their own experience as well as seeing it in the community they've built online. She sits down with Lea and Shai of Leveled Up Love to talk about changing polycule structures and relationship rules to focus on the needs and growth of the people involved, rather than trying to make people fit a pre-determined structure, and the ways that we can destigmatize this process of change for ourselves to make relationships a space where we the people in them thrive, rather than a task we carry out. If you want to know more about Shai and Lea after this episode, see their guest page at the podcast site for more details, or visit Leveled Up Love (www.leveleduplove.com), where they are offering a free 30 Day Trial of their Secure Poly Collective at: www.LeveledUpLove.com/VIP, which includes multiple workshops to support more conscious and sustainable open relationships. In Ready for Polyamory Housekeeping, there's still time to get tickets (www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop) to the Polyamory and Parenting class on April 23 (with encore q&a after recording available all week on April 30). As always you can find the blog at readyforpolyamory.com (www.readyforpolyamory.com), the book at Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ), and me on Tiktok and Instagram @readyforpolyamory and twitter @lauracb88. Special Guest: Shai and Lea.

"I'm relationship style agnostic - I don't think there's one right way to do relationships, but gosh are there a lot of really crappy ways to do relationships." On today's episode, Laura and Dr. Joli Hamilton, a certified sex educator and jealousy researcher whose writing focuses on couples for whom nonmonogamy works for some phases of their lives but not all phases, discuss what lessons nonmonogamy can teach people who decide to intentionally pursue monogamy instead. This is the episode you can share with your sister, cousin, or monogamous friend who wants to "get it" but isn't sure they do - it's about how the personal growth and lessons of being nonmonogamous (forever or temporarily) can improve our interpersonal connections with friends as well as a partner. They chat about communication, gender roles and scheduling, discovering how many cultural scripts you've bought into, trauma and co-regulation, and the joys and challenges of building poorly defined and unlabeled relationships with non-romantic partners. Find Dr. Joli Hamilton at drjoli_hamilton on Instagram or listentojoli.com, or read more about her on the guest page on the podcast's website. Coming up later in April, join Laura for a class on Polyamory and Parenting running live on April 23 at 3 pm Eastern, or with a second live q&a on April 30 at 11:30 pm Eastern following a week of the class recording being available to purchasers; tickets are available at https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop. As always, you can find the blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com, the facebook group at www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory; Laura on tiktok and instagram @readyforpolyamory or Twitter @lauracb88. Special Guest: Dr. Joli Hamilton.

"You have to take the space to take care of yourself and notice if you haven't made space for yourself outside of parenthood in a long time - because making space for your non-parent identity is important." "Why would we stop doing the things that make us happy and make us better as humans if we're trying to raise good people, a task that means we need to show up as our best selves?" To open season 5 of the podcast, Laura and Jessica Levity Daylover of Remodeled Love sit down to talk about being polyamorous parents of young children - the benefits of having multiple partners to help with these phases, the realities of occasional judgement from the monogamous folks in our lives, difficulties of scheduling and Jes's Time-banking system with her husband, some of Laura's experiences being out to school, doctors, etc, as well as hopes for our families's futures. Later this season, there will be an episode with guests with teenaged kids talking about those different stages and the unique challenges therein. Jessica Levity Daylover is a mom of two who has been with her husband, Joe, since 2009, and married and polyamorous since 2013. Jessica is a live event and digital media producer and entertainer. Their journey into polyamory was rocky because they had no mentors, no cultural script, and no support. They launched their podcast & platform "Remodeled" as a way to change that path for others. Jes and Remodeled Love are on all the social media - you can find her on IG @remodeledlove, on TikTok @homesliceproductions, on Twitter @RemodeledLove, on Patreon at www.patreon.com/homesliceproductions, or find her podcast, peer support, and upcoming projects at www.remodeledlove.com. You can find some of Laura's Polyamorous Parenting FAQs on the blog here (https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/polyamorous-parenting-frequently-asked-questions), and tickets to her upcoming Polyamory and Parenting class ($15 for as many members of your polycule as care to share the screen, live on 4/23 at 3pmET with included recording and a second live q&a on 4/30 at 11:30pm ET to hopefully accomodate all the timezones and bedtimes) here (https://ko-fi.com/s/7b5e50f2b3). As always, the podcast's music is by Vince Conaway who you can find at www.vinceconaway.com. You can find the blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com; the book on Amazon in kindle and paperback here (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ); links to first appointments for peer support with Laura here (https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory#buyCommissionModal); and we'll be back next week with a new episode. Special Guest: Jessica Levity Daylover.

Laura and her friend Abbie K. (Tiktok's @Polyanarchy) talk about a variety of fiction they've read that contains CNM &polyamorous relationships, trends they see in polyamorous literature, and favorite books with polyam relationships. When Abbie (she/they) isn't writing, reading or creating content for TikTok(@Polyanarchy), she hangs out with her polycule and her two crazy dogs or helps with direct action in her community. They have been polyamorous for 4 years and practice non-hierarchical Kitchen Table Polyamory. Laura's post on Polyam in Fiction: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/polyamory-in-fiction Laura's review of I am My Beloveds: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/book-review-i-am-my-beloveds Laura's review of Iron Widow: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/iron-widow-book-review Post including Abbie's Polyam Reading List: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/podcast-season-4-episode-9-polyamory-in-fiction Links to upcoming classes and events Laura is teaching at: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/events Links to support the podcast and blog financially, find merch, and the link to buy the book: linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory Special Guest: Abbie K.

"Once or twice a year hotels are an adventure... more than that it just becomes an expense" Laura and her friend Corwin met because they both were cohabiting polyamorous people who went to a meetup for polyam families. They have a conversation about the various pros, cons and considerations of polyamorous cohabitation. The literal book on polyam cohabitation is "the polyamorous home" by Jess Mahler https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N3KT3E2/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 Laura and Corwin will both be teaching at Tethered Together in March; find tickets and detailed info at tetheredtogether.net (tetheredtogether.net) Laura's classes in January and February can be found at ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop (ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop) Special Guest: Corwin.