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Wowsers Bowsers! This is just a real nice episode, folks. It's a warm hug on a cold day. A lightly-scented cloud of gorgeousness. We learned that marbles can make you feel optimistic about the human condition and that nice vowel sounds can brighten your day. Join us for a 29-minute break from the cruelty and bleakness of this postmodern life. Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, get on up, it's Fancast time! Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

Here - take this playbook. Grant Morrison saw these trick plays in a shamanistic vision ceremony, and they will win you the Super Bowl big time. Clear eyes, full hearts, sex magik! Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

We're bringing you the news, and then we're bringing you the Newsies.

Kat thought it would be good to title this week's episode "Quality Over Quantico," but Kyle's episode title - a reference to a 1998 made-for-TV movie - won out instead. Sometimes there's just no right answer! Sometimes we are all of us losers! Welcome to Quantico! Show: Quantico Season 2, Episode 18: "KUMONK" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

Let us all pay tribute to the soft sorrowful luster of The Rock's perfect eyes. Movies: The Fast and the Furious, The Fate of the Furious Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

This week on softeyed superteens, Clark Kent makes a friend, learns about poetry, and asks an adult for help! It's no wonder that Superman is the archetype that launched the golden age of comics. He's the man of steel; he's the last son of Krypton; he's our big blue boy scout and we love him very much. Welcome to Smallville! Show: Smallville Season 2, Episode 5: "Nocturne" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

This week, we were initiated into the divine secrets of the YA YA sisterhood. Get it? Because YA stands for young adult, and we read part of a young adult novel, but then also what I said up there is the name of a movie. You get it. Anyway, we read some chapters from Apprentice: Book 2 of the Black Mage series. Podcasts about books are coming into vogue and we really wanted to get in there and chomp that flavor. I think we did A PRETTY GOOD JOB. Book: Apprentice - Book Two of the Black Mage Series Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

This week Robert Rodriguez took us gently by the hands and led us down to The Temple, where Lucha Libre reigns supreme. We saw some good quality wrestlefolk do wrestlecrimes at each other until we became certified wrestlexperts. And we loved every minute of it. It's Lucha Underground! Show: Lucha Underground Season 1, Episode 22: "Mask Vs. Mask" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

Little Witch Academia is a very good anime. I do not have time to write a description because I need to go watch more Little Witch Academia. Show: Little Witch Academia Season 1, Episode 6: "The Fountain" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

Yowza yowza yowza! This week we're expanding our horizons and becoming fans of a movie we've never seen. And still haven't seen. It's... difficult to explain. Take our hands and walk with us down the Santa Monica Pier. We're going on a journey together, and none of us will be quite the same when we return. Welcome to Dance Dance Destitution. Movie: They Shoot Horses, Don't They? Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

In an age of digital media, it's important to remember the role that serious journalism plays in a free society. Print is dying, and with it, the bastions of creditable reporting are slowly decaying into obscurity. The influence of an ethical Fourth Estate provides essential checks and balances against an increasingly authoritarian government. As funding dries up and unscrupulous internet reporting flourishes, these institutions diminish in power. It's one of the great crises of our age. Anyway, this show is about Kyle Chandler getting newspapers from a magical cat! Show: Early Edition Season 3, Episode 23: "Blowing Up Is Hard To Do" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

Teen Wolf can't be tied down by your rules. Teen Wolf doesn't need to listen to teachers or parents because he's a rebel. Teen Wolf is gonna smoke weed under a bridge with his pack, Mom, and there's nothing you can do to stop him. The olds just don't get it, but we here at The Only Fancast do. Teens just wanna make dank memes, get followers on snapchat, and fight ancient demonic evils that threaten to engulf their home towns and jeopardize their lacrosse scholarships. We see you, Teen Wolf. And we understand. Show: Teen Wolf Season 502, Episode 7: "A Credible Threat" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a quality financial manager, I would call her. Back in 1995 Skee-Lo could only wish for these things, but twenty years later, HBO has made them a reality. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is here to grant your three wishes, Skee-Lo. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is here to heal America. It's Ballers. Show: Ballers Season 1, Episode 1: "Ballers" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

There's a new show on the CW, and wouldn't you know it, it's based on the adventures of everyone's favorite redheaded teen scamp, Archie Andrews! That's right, this icon of wholesome American teenhood is finally hitting the small screen. And don't we all need a dose of that innocent, hygienic optimism that Archie Comics is famous for? It's such a relief to know, in these troubled times, that not everything has to be all joyless and morbid. Sometimes a show can just be pure. Guileless. It's bubblegum and baseball games. Cherry-red Chevrolets. Drive-in movies. Nuclear families. We will all stay young forever and we'll never, ever die. Come with us down to the chock'lit shop, because it's time for Riverdale. Show: Riverdale Season 1, Episode 10: "The Lost Weekend" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

Hey, welcome to our cool neighborhood bar! Come meet our cool new neighborhood friends. They're some of America's most beloved stars; Dr. Horrible, Buffy's Friend, Mr. Sarah Marshall, and America's Nasty Dad. Oh, and there's also Ted. We don't really understand why he's here, but everyone else seems like they love him, so just play it cool. It's How I Met Your Mother! Show: How I Met Your Mother Season 4, Episode 19: "Murtaugh" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com)

No, it's not that Full House. What are you, some kind of ignorant yokel? This week we here at The Only Fancast packed our steamer trunks and sailed off into international waters. We crossed the shining seas and alighted on the shores of South Korea, where we found Full House Take 2, our new favorite show. We marveled at Man-ok's and Tae-ik's hairstyles and stood amazed as Kang-hwi proved to the world that he is, of all humans, most unqualified to own a cat. And, dear listeners, we even brought you back a souvenir. Here it is, our latest episode: Fullest House. Show: Full House Take 2 Season 1, Episode 14: "Episode 7, Part 2" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com) Want to suggest a show for us to watch? Reach out on Twitter @OnlyFancast (http://twitter.com/onlyfancast) or Facebook (http://facebook.com/onlyfancast). Or send as an email hello@theonlyfancast.com

Pour yourself a Djinn & Tonic, because it's time for one of NBC's primetime freakshows. BEHOLD the appalling fashion of James Spader. MARVEL at the horrifying mish-mash of unconnected plot threads. GAZE IN HORROR at the return of the objectionable oubliette. Come one, come all, to the museum of living curiosities that IS.... The Blacklist! Show: The Blacklist Season 3, Episode 4: "The Djinn" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com) Want to suggest a show for us to watch? Reach out on Twitter @OnlyFancast (http://twitter.com/onlyfancast) or Facebook (http://facebook.com/onlyfancast). Or send as an email hello@theonlyfancast.com

Hey gal pals, put on your sexiest Jimmy Choos, grab your mimosas, and gather 'round the brunch table while we give you the scoop on what it's like to be a single woman in the big city! I... oh gosh, who am I kidding. That one sentence was all the privileged white woman stereotyping I could squeeze out of my poor, shriveled, scruffy little brain. We watched Sex and the City. You get it. Show: Sex and the City Season 6, Episode 7: "The Post-it Always Sticks Twice " Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com) Want to suggest a show for us to watch? Reach out on Twitter @OnlyFancast (http://twitter.com/onlyfancast) or Facebook (http://facebook.com/onlyfancast). Or send as an email hello@theonlyfancast.com

If you've come to The Only Fancast this week looking for some lighthearted goofs, we're sorry. Maybe skip this one. We devote the entire show this week to a very serious analytical dissection of cartoons. We get earnest. We get businesslike. It can't all be fun and games, folks; you've gotta take something seriously in this life, and in the Kat & Kyle household, cartoons are a solemn affair. Maybe you thought there would be some sort of joke payoff at the end of this very description. You were wrong. This is it, ya'll: welcome to Cartoon Camp for Cartoon Boys. Show: The Amazing World of Gumball Season 4, Episode 27: "The Awkwardness" Show: Regular Show Season 5, Episode 3: "Benson's Car" Show: Uncle Grandpa Season 2, Episode 2: "Body Trouble" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com) Want to suggest a show for us to watch? Reach out on Twitter @OnlyFancast (http://twitter.com/onlyfancast) or Facebook (http://facebook.com/onlyfancast).

Welcome to our haunted podcast! We had a slumber party with Ryan Murphy and he told us all his spooky scary tales of hotel horror, and now we're here to pass that on to you. There's vampyrs and murders and flappers galore! So settle in and get ready for your Friday Night Frights, because it's time for American Horror Story: Hotel. Show: American Horror Story: Hotel Season 5, Episode 7: "Flicker" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://ledboise.bandcamp.com) Want to suggest a show for us to watch? Reach out on Twitter @OnlyFancast (http://twitter.com/onlyfancast) or Facebook (http://facebook.com/onlyfancast).