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Ashwood City Football Club look to complete the signing of Sven-Goran Eriksson as Head Coach.In Loving Memory of beautiful Lucinda.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton  Victoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The Tottenham victory seals Ashwood City's 4-straight league win under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. Former player and businessman, now turned Ashwood City agitator; Harvey Simms has enacted shareholder protocol to demand a meeting between Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and the highly regarded Jansen... Meanwhile in Scandinavia; Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall attempts to recruit his successor.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallRamone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey SimmsThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

On a fiercely windy day in Kent, Ashwood City host Tottenham Hotspur after a run of 3-straight victories under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. With Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Head of Communications Jess Tate in attendance; Croatian defender Dario Babic suffers a dangerous injury on the field.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Chief Player Liaison Officer Theo Clinton has unexpectedly been exposed as the individual behind the Ashwood City email hacks. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan looks to resolve, understand and ultimately exploit his motives. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Thomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberRachel Teate as Dame Georgina PittAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryNalan BurgessDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The international break has concluded and Premier League action returns. Ashwood City travel to Newcastle United as Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is looking to recover from a difficult couple of weeks following his disastrous appearance in Prague...Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is under intense pressure as a potential rival has emerged for the much coveted 30% ownership of Ashwood City Football Club. His frustrations and ego are relieved however, with the news of a career achievement recognition from the footballing community.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanRamone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey SimmsHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallRachel Teate as Dame Georgina PittAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Following an away defeat to Wolverhampton Wanderers, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall finds himself as an unwilling chauffeur to Head of Communications Jess Tate, as they make their way to the Ashwood City Halloween Party.  Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallPaul Waggott as Patrick NolanVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonRachel Teate as Dame Georgina PittDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ashwood City take on Leeds United in the first league meeting between the two since 2004. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan has had to make slight adjustments to Dartley Park, in order to welcome the Premier League newcomers. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional VoicesJoel EmeryLynnette ShawDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Fresh from the International Break as well as the possibility of 'Project Big Picture', Patrick Nolan embarks on his own project as he attempts to put the final nail in the coffin of the Ashwood City Youth Academy, albeit with a little help from some friends in low places. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional VoicesJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Following the decision to publish false positive COVID-19 test results for Kieran Broom and Kyle Francis-Clarke ahead of England duty; Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is now dealing with the fallout. Determined to get his fixture pile-up resolved, Patrick reaches out to an old ally of the club in an effort to force the hand of the football powers-that-be.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallRachel Teate as Dame Georgina PittThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional VoicesJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

For matchweek three of the Premier League; Ashwood City take their perfect record to Craven Cottage. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan, however, have other social commitments.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Following a bright start to the league campaign, Ashwood City now face Portsmouth in the second round of the Carabao Cup. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall is charged with the task of securing an ambitious feeder club for Ashwood City. Patrick and Jess however are distracted by the latest new recruit...Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonJohn Brannoch as Colin Walsh  Additional VoicesJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Premier League football returns as Ashwood City take on Crystal Palace in Matchweek 1 of the new season. With COVID-19 restrictions in place; Dartley Park remains closed to the fans. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan's endeavours to increase matchday revenue for the club lead him to a fan engagement initiative using cardboard cutout selfies to attend the fixture.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonJohn Brannoch as Colin Walsh  Rachel Teate as KarenLucinda Shaw as Christine WilliamsMatt Jansen as himselfAdditional VoicesJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's the Semi-Final of the Europa League. Ashwood City take on FC Internazionale as the isolated tournament in Germany moves ever-closer to its climax. Once again, however, the mood in the camp is delicately poised to see the loan saga of Christian Akuffo resolved.Adam Jarrell as Kieran BroomEsmonde Cole as Kyle Francis ClarkAcushla-Tara Cupe as Dr Rachel WebberThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonIsi Adeola as Christian Akuffo David Letemple Leroy as AntoineAdditional voicesJoel EmeryCasting Director:Kirsty GillmoreDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ashwood's first leg in the round of 16 ended 1-0 to Ashwood in Wolfsburg back in March. Now, along with fellow UEFA Europa League competitors, they find themselves vying for a place in the Quarter Final held in Germany under strict quarantine conditions. Adam Jarrell as Kieran BroomAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberEsmonde Cole as Kyle Francis-ClarkeThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Episode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Premier League survival hangs in the balance as Ashwood City take on Manchester United in the final game of the season.  The Offensive will return at the start of the 2020/2021 season. Thank you for your continued support. Visit ashwoodcity.com and patreon.com/ashwoodcity for more. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis-ClarkeLance Fuller as Dwight HayesAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberPeter Drury as HimselfAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAnt McGinleyOwen MaersDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel Emery"Gravitated" by Edgar HoppWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's the final week of the season, and the battle for Premier League survival hits boiling point as Ashwood City travel to Villa Park. Can The Superwhites continue their run of good form under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen in their penultimate game of the season? Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Lance Fuller as Dwight HayesAdditional Voices:Jo PriceJoel EmeryLucinda ShawDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ashwood City travel to Goodison Park to take on Everton in one of the final games of the season. Off the pitch, however, things turn sour as Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall is forced to vacate his seat, due to the ongoing issues with Rob Jefferson. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Episode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ashwood City take on Tottenham Hotspur under new Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. Meanwhile, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall explore their options for life in The Championship without in-form prospect Kyle Francis-Clarke.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateEsmonde Cole as KFCVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The first match of the season in the post-Van Smit era sees fellow Premier League strugglers West Ham United visit Dartley Park. Will the 'New Manager Bounce' materialise and allow Ashwood City to gain three valuable points?Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateRhys Tees as Rob JeffersonLucinda Shaw as Christine WilliamsEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerLance Fuller as Dwight HayesMatt Jansen as Himself Directed by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.