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The Nonsense Burger
62 minutes | Jan 4, 2023
#099.4: Frosty the Hooker
Happy Holidays, Folks! No, they're not over until we say they're over. We here at the Burger love to drag out the festivities and what better way than to pump out a jolly old episode?! Francis, Michael, and Oko spend the first thirty minutes talking goofier than the Goof Troop and then Francis gets into a very wild story involving his annual Christmas tree-cutting extravaganza. So, won't you join us for one last lovable ride from the sleigh of silliness straight down your chimney and into your ears? Happy New Year and here's to more giggles in 2023! Love you all.
59 minutes | Nov 3, 2022
#099.3: Ball Jar Binks
Well, we just woke up from hibernation, folks! Just in time for winter. Welcome back to The Burger and welcome back to some good old-fashioned hilarity. In yet another "comeback" episode we're treated with a theme of love. Francis, Timmy, and Michael dive into the trainwreck that is the network television show 'Love Is Blind'. From there the trio rolls into Michael's most recent experiences of dipping his toes back into the dating pool via dating apps. Wowsers! This one's packed with all the giggles your heart can handle. Let's get back to having some fun! Love you.
40 minutes | Jul 28, 2022
#099.2: Shaquille Oatmeal
Back-to-back weeks, Folks! Francis, Michael, and Oko get downright dirty in today's episode. Francis recounts some fabulous tales while riding on America's open roads in an Uber all while realizing how many nut jobs there truly are out there. Oko takes it up a notch with a "you've got to hear it to believe" story involving a female towtruck driver. The wheels on this bus of Nonsense are going round and round all the live long day for you lovely people. Let's have some fun! Love you.
48 minutes | Jul 20, 2022
#099.1: Indiana Bones & the Motor Boating Caper
Annnnd we're BACK, Folks! We're just over here looking to break records for the longest stint between the 99th and 100th episodes. Today Francis, Timmy, and Michael spin up some fun adventures of Indiana Bones! After that, it's a smattering of what it's like to live in a tourist town, the excitement of Lent, Steak and BJ Day, and other meaningless holidays; all while we wonder if we'll ever learn how to drink responsibly. It feels good to be flippin' these Burgers again! Let's have a ball together! Love you.
30 minutes | Apr 22, 2022
#098: We're Going to a Renaissance Festival
Whoo! The gang is marking their calendars for a renaissance festival! None of us have been but by golly do we have some great ideas for when we get there. Staying silly as ever. Grab a turkey leg and let's start jousting. Love you.
46 minutes | Apr 8, 2022
#097: Furry Fun
Hey there strangers! We're swooping in with our 97th episode dating all the way back to stories surrounding the Super Bowl. Yes, it happened months ago but it's been about that long since our last episode went out. Fear not! Timmy fills us in on his experience as the Bengals' mascot which of course leads to the rest of the gang wondering what it would be like to make love in one of those suits. Are you ready to rumble? We sure are! Welcome back. Love you.
17 minutes | Mar 10, 2022
#096: Operation Starfish
Happy Birthday to us! The Burger just turned two years old, Folks! To celebrate, Timmy and Francis sit down to chat about cologne and the douche canoes that put too much on. Cool Water, anyone? We also talk about other pleasant smells with an episode wrap all about more poor decisions on motorized toys. Let's all celebrate together! Love you.
17 minutes | Feb 16, 2022
#095: Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet, and Watch
Wow! We're back and we almost cover all the nouns in today's episode title. Francis and Timmy rip through braided belts, chain wallets, DC shoes, fanny packs, and the makings of another t-shirt idea that may or may not ever come to fruition. Glad to be flipping some more Nonsense on the grill. Here we go. Love you.
24 minutes | Jan 30, 2022
A Side of Fries with Leaf Bags
You've gotta love your parents if for no other reason than the facts Timmy and Francis layout in today's Side of Fries. Obsessing over raking leaves, snow blowing, struggling with phone conversations, and unnecessary trips to the hardware store. We're slowly losing a lost art, Folks! Let's enjoy the beautiful people that raised us right....for the most part. Here's to the moms and dads providing us with endless amounts of entertainment. Get in here. Love you.
35 minutes | Jan 27, 2022
#094: The Festival of Butts
Hola, mis amigos! We're back with another rip-roaring doozy of a fun time! Francis entertains Timmy with tales from a friend's bachelor party down on the Baja California Peninsula of Mexico. Adventures that range from semi-professional women volleyball players whipping their asses, eating live bait on a deep-sea fishing excursion, and carnivals in the middle of nowhere. Also known as the right way to visit our neighbors to the south. Timmy then wheels around and complains about the very commercialized side of a Mexican vacation. All you can drink with people you learn to hate? Hard pass. We also craft into existence The Blubbery V. Gotta listen to understand. Let's go! Love you.
11 minutes | Jan 21, 2022
A Side of Fries with Snapple Caps
Two for one! Welcome to a nuthouse Friday, Folks! Today's Fries include Timmy and Francis darting all over the board. We talk about Captain Planet being the most useless superhero, Snapple cap writers, and why on earth people would ever want to leave the beach with a full cooler present. Come have some fun. Love you.
79 minutes | Jan 21, 2022
#093: Crop Dusting COVID
Merry Friday, Folks! Don't worry. The title might contain a naughty word but we hardly speak of it. Instead, Michael, Oko, and Francis pull off the Burger's second unedited episode. It's chock full of goodies. Disappointing your kids with toots, diaper stories, sexual healing, and Travis Pastrami. No clue? No worries. Get in here.
44 minutes | Jan 12, 2022
#092: The Turkey Tug
And we're back! Now, what better way is there to talk about all the glories of the holiday gauntlet than by discussing them immediately after they've happened?! That's right, today Timmy and Francis pick apart all of those "fun" family experiences during the most wonderful time of the year. We do you Folks one better though: how can you dodge some of the menial tasks bestowed upon you when those holidays come along? We'll tell ya. From curiously long deep-frying sessions to using the opportunities presented to you which allow you to avoid family altogether! We know the cheerful turning over of another calendar just happened but why not reminisce on some of the fun we had kicking 2021 to the curb! Oh, and you've GOT to tune in to find out what a Turkey Tug is....Love you.
17 minutes | Jan 7, 2022
A Side of Fries with Chickpeas
Happy post-holiday Friday! Tossin' a quick Side of Fries at ya today with Timmy and Francis kickstarting a conversation highlighting all the fun experiences we might have during the holiday gauntlet. From Halloween straight on through to the New Year, we've got some goofy observations for you. Today we start our stories right before Thanksgiving with the next few episodes plowing through the rest of the celebration. Classic movie re-runs, dive bars in the middle of nowhere, and a tasteless joke to get it all rolling! Welcome to 2022. Welcome BACK to the Burger. Love you!
27 minutes | Dec 31, 2021
#091: Your Video's On
Hey there, Folks! Here's to wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year along with the gang's 91st episode of silly, sloppy Nonsense! Today's episode wraps our three-part series on our "love" for all things corporate. Timmy, Michael, and Francis harp on the virtual meeting phenomenon which crescendos with an impromptu nude stroll across the screen during a meeting. Yikes. It's been another fun-filled year and we hope to keep pumping out one hit after another for all you delightful little hooligans. Rip through this show and then go enjoy watching the ball drop....on your chin. Love you!
33 minutes | Dec 15, 2021
#90: Let's Have a Meeting About the Meeting
Greetings all you Fine Folks! We're back yet again for what we're dubbing our second installment to corporate America's most obnoxious activities! Last week was the PowerPoint; this week we're tackling another one of our worst nightmares: the meeting. Settle in or saddle up with Francis, Michael, and Timmy as they harp on work meetings. Pre-meetings, post-meetings, rescheduled meetings! It's all a hoot any way ya slice it! Let's go. Love you.
41 minutes | Dec 8, 2021
#089: The Power of the PowerPoint
Hey Kids! Let's go ahead and call this Part One of a three-part series on office shenanigans. Today's episode features one of life's silly creations that has given us all less purpose on this planet: PowerPoint. What a damn useless tool. Care to question your existence or why Ned felt the need to put all that mumbo jumbo on 35 separate slides? We HATE PowerPoint and we know you do, too. Let's make fun of it together! Love you.
14 minutes | Nov 19, 2021
A Side of Fries with Sweaty Eye Bags
Mahalo, Folks! So sorry for the delayed delivery of our newest episode. Francis was struggling through a kitchen remodel (not really noteworthy) but more importantly, Oko became a father for the first time (he thinks)! Congrats to our long-standing co-host and a dear friend. He's denied trying breast milk straight from the tap but we all know he went under the blanket. Today you've got Michael and Francis ripping through a Friday Side of Fries discussing mildly hot food, personal reactions to stupid people, substituting the word 'right' from our vocabulary, and riding penny ponies at the grocery store! Wooee! Welcome back. We love you little dried-up boogers under the passenger seat of the car where your wife leaves her picked victims....
62 minutes | Oct 29, 2021
#088: Noah's Ark
Hey-O! Instead of wondering how all those animal pairs got onto one boat, we inquired as to what it might be like having some of our favorite animals' capabilities. Birds; ever wonder what it'd be like to fly or crap on someone from the sky? Would your life change if you could lick your own twig n' berries? Whale sex? Yes, we discuss it. Dr. Dolittle's got nothing on this conversation. Let's go! Love you.
85 minutes | Oct 22, 2021
#087: Caramelized Onions
Hey-O! Welcome to Friday and welcome to the Burger's first "live" episode! That's right, folks! There was no editing, no polishing, no removal of content; we just hit record and let Fantasia's brooms DANCE! Michael, Timmy, and Francis got kooky talking about what it might be like to have a life-sponsored DJ. Get on in here to experience the joys of laughter. Love you!
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