EP 71 | The Art of Beating Yourself Up
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Greg is a business owner, speaker, podcaster, best-selling author and high-performance health coach who helps people move past circumstance to calling, beyond brokenness to breakthrough. Greg Believes that "Circumstances Lie" about what's possible and that brokenness is the opportunity for Breakthrough in your life, your business and your people.
Greg is the International Best-Selling author of
· Broken – how being broken unlocked the greatest success of my life
· The Breakthrough – a leadership fable about the 4 barriers that hold teams back
· A Journey of Significance – the Story of Albert Diepeveen –moving from Success to Significance.
… and the exciting release of his 5th book, titled “Circumstances Lie”, ‘There’s more going on than you think.’
Hey, it’s Greg Yates from the No Head trash Nation… where our mission is to Unlock your purpose, help you Live with Passion and become who you were created to be!
… Where the domination of head trash and circumstantial lies are replaced by purpose, passion and unlimited potential.
And you can’t imagine how much I love saying that… because I know exactly what you’re thinking…
But what if your circumstances have nothing to do with what you’re capable of?
What if there is more going on than you think …and the resources you need are already available?
What if it’s time to stop trying so hard and live the UNENCUMBERED Life?
Welcome to Greg Yates - UNENCUMBERED…
What an incredible day to break loose some thoughts that are STUCK in our brains and replace them with the future we were born to be part of… Wow, I just had this vision of putting penetrating oil on a rusty bolt and after working it and torqueing it a little while watching it break loose and those flakes of rust fall off… blowing them with a little poof of air and feeling the whole thing start loosening up so we can replace it with a new one. WOW. That I so cool.
If you know me, then you’re used to hearing me talk about head trash… maybe you’re even familiar with my upcoming book, Circumstances Lie… but Today I’m introducing you to my newest word and if there was one word I want to describe me from NOW ON… it’s this one. I’m claiming it and if you want you can claim it with me and be part of this crusade… the word is UNENCUMBERED…
Maybe you’ve never heard that word before and if that’s true, I hope you’ll add it to your vocabulary right now and impress your friends and family with it. But if you really don’t know what it means, let’s start right there.
Here you go.. the definition of unencumbered… don’t you just love the way that word sounds, even before you know what it means? A big four syllable word, not a four letter word, a four SYLABLE word… let’s be clear. In fact, it’s almost 180 degrees from most of the four letter words you’re thinking of like pain, debt, and fear… its headed in the entirely opposite direction from those and I would argue it is the SWITCH that lets you flip all of those into a journey toward the most powerful state of all… which although it’s a four letter word, is the highest frequency of any state of existence you could aspire to…. Being unencumbered sets you in the direction of … you guessed it… LOVE.
Not having love, or giving love or being IN LOVE… but of being LOVE. Wow. That’s a whole other conversation, honestly, but another premise of everything I talk about is that AHA moments are great… they just don’t last. Being comes first. Doing happens almost on accident from what you’re being.
Enough of that. I get carried away and if you’ve ever talked to me about this topic, you know how passionate I can get about it. I’m sick of being encumbered… sick of the assumptions I have made and that I’ve watched other people make. And if you’re sick of it, hit me back in the comments right now, find a way to message me just so I know we’re on the same page and I’m NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!
So… are you ready? I hope you’ve got your pen because here it is… the definition of Unencumbered. UN-ENCUMBERED – or basically NOT ENCUMBERED, RIGHT? The definition… Not having ANY burden or impediment.
I love that definition. Every single word of it.
Not – The absence of…
Having – owning, possessing, having as a feature or even a scent
ANY - none… zip… zero… no evidence at all… not even a trained police dog who can sniff out one drip in a five gallon bucket can find any….
Burden - baggage – stuff that slows you down, makes you carry more than yourself
Or – not and… no other side of the equation implied to watch out for
Impediment - hindrance or obstruction – the stuff that’s in your way or has blocked your path.
Unencumbered means not having ANY burden or impediment. WOW
What would that look like? I’ve got to be honest, I have no idea, but I want to.
In fact, I want you to ask yourself right now the same question I’ve been asking myself… What does my life look like if it is UNENCUMBERED?
Have you ever had someone, a business or financial coach maybe, ask you… what would you do it money was not an issue? Or what would you do if your health were not an issue, or your job, or some relationship, finances or faith?
It’s almost too big a question to ask and answer, right? Even superman has impediments… Kryptonite. So now I’m asking myself… am I saying there’s NO kryptonite? Wow, I’ve got to play with that one a little bit sometime… but I will say this… if there are no impediments OUT THERE, then the one holding the kryptonite must be IN HERE… ok.. I better keep this moving. UNENCUMBERED… wow
So, Superman has impediments… And so do you… right now anyway.
Stay with me… because in order to ask such a crazy question… the first thing that has to be unencumbered is my thinking! I mean, let’s face it, the second I started even asking the question, the argument began. My own head trash - yes, despite popular opinion, I’ve got a lot of it – started arguing against the very idea itself.
Let’s just start right there…
Not many years ago, I went through hell. You may think I’m talking figuratively, but I’m pretty sure it was actual hell. Have you been there? The absence of peace, the absence of freedom, the absence of any sense that there even was a God at work in my life… I’m just speaking for myself, but you need to know what made me ask this question.
I could tell you all the reasons my life was over… or at least compressed into the smallest box you ever saw and it was probably better… if I were dead…
It was LITERALLY like some kind of autoimmune disease… where my own beliefs were like antibodies within me that were destroying everything, good or bad in my entire thought process.
I reached a point that I had to strip out everything I believed, write it down in words, and question whether or not that belief was going to support me or kill me. Whether it was going to assist me in any possibility of a future or if it had to go.. and a lot of them had to go. I’ll tell you more about the specific beliefs if you stick around in a future podcast, but it was a totally brutal process. Things I was sure were true… simply couldn’t stick around if I were going to survive.
You might be there yourself. The burdens and impediments to your own success, even your own survival, were your own beliefs. Maybe they still are.
Now does my word sound more inviting to you? UNENCUMBERED - say it with me. UN ENCUMBERED Wow. Did it give you just a second of hope?
Maybe I never would have asked this question if things were tolerable.
You know the book, good to great? The premise is that the thing standing in the way of great… is good. When things are good, you’re never willing to do the things that will make them great. When your life is good, or even tolerable, you’ll never do the things that make it GREAT.
And I just happen to believe that GREAT… is what you were designed for.
Now whether you believe that or not, I don’t really care. If you want to choose the belief that you aren’t really great, or weren’t designed at all… then you’re not ready for unencumbered and you’re not ready for GREAT, unless somehow it accidentally finds you. I thought my life was great for a long time because I was measuring it by the circumstances around me… and when those circumstances turned on me, like antibodies, they weren’t so great any longer.
Hence my book title… Circumstances Lie… The book is a novel, a love story actually, that rolls out the five lies that circumstances tell, and is built on the premise that you can’t trust circumstances at all. If they have a chance and you’re tuned in to them with a poor set of beliefs that you didn’t choose for yourself, they’ll lie to you every single time.
Here’s the thing… in case you didn’t know… you can’t see five seconds into the future. You can’t see around the next corner. And, you can’t carry the burdens and impediments of your faulty belief system if you want to live an unencumbered life.
Of course it seems impossible. That’s the beauty of it. That’s the SECRET you’ve always known exists and that’s the obsessive conversation I want to have on this podcast and I hope you’re going to have that conversation with me.
It’s not an aha moment. The only thing aha about it is the second you imagine what it would look like, and that’s a long ways from it actually being true… but here’s the thing. It’s not that far from where you are… it’s exactly what you were created for and everything else in life is designed to teach you that when it’s all said and done… there is a lot more going on than you think.
Every “What if” question is built on the possibility of being unencumbered. What would unencumbered look like for you?
Hey, it’s Greg Yates from the No Head trash Nation… where our mission is to Unlock your purpose, help you Live with Passion and become who you were created to be!
You’re capable of more than you’ve experienced so far, and there is an unencumbered life waiting for you right on the other side of that make believe barrier that’s been holding you back.
It’s time to get rid of the head trash and THRIVE – and to do that, it takes a nation. The no head trash nation where the battle you’re fighting becomes the opportunity of a lifetime.
They say if you’re going to podcast you should talk about what you know… and this topic is one I’m intimately familiar with. I suppose as the Head Trash GURU that I am, it doesn’t surprise you that I’d be good at this one – unless you’re one of those poor unfortunate folks who things I talk about getting rid of the head trash because I’ve got it mastered and it’s no longer a problem for me. And THAT, my friends, would be a NO…
Today I’m talking for just a couple minutes on the ART of Beating Yourself Up.
I figure, if you’re going to do it, you need to do it well… but I’m guessing some of you have it down to an art and a science… all I can really talk about is myself, so if you can ONE UP me, feel free to share… cause there’s nothing about this thing that feels so personal… that’s personal at all. In fact, the more people I coach, the more I realize how universal it is.
We spend time practicing better ways to beat ourselves up. We put in the REPS. We say it enough times that it seems right. We have conversations with ourselves about the lane brain conclusions that we’re somehow different, that we’re not worthy, that we will never be worth anything, that we don’t know why we’re so bad, so broken, so unable to move forward…..
And the best part is that we IMAGINE that everyone else is sailing along just fine… What a LIE – in fact that’s such a lie it makes me angry. I’ve talked to incredible, loving, capable people who tell me that the voices in their head keep saying DON’T TRY – QUIT NOW BEFORE YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF – or my personal favorite….. YOU’LL FEEL BETTER IF YOU JUST GIVE UP..
Now maybe you’re wondering why that is so let me stop and tell you what smart people in psychology say about this and I want to encourage you to pursue personal development because it is the only path to move PAST this nonsense that seems so real.
Here’s the simplest way I know to explain it. When we try to change ANYTHING… what we’re familiar with in the past fights back. Our subconscious minds are filled with programming that help us deal with emotions, stress, even a sense of security that we all want so much. When we introduce a new idea, a new path, personal growth, and especially things that take intentional pattern breaks – WE ALWAYS face the ultimate enemy. HEAD TRASH
You have old programming that says, You’ll feel better if you stay with the patterns already familiar to us, even if THEY ARE KILLING YOU…. We all have this… we have old patterns that don’t serve us anymore, but if we close our eyes and go on autopilot, we end up at McDonalds drive through or mindlessly in the pantry looking for something to distract us, or entertain us… when there are far better things we KNOW we should do.
So here’s the part I was telling you about… The ART of beating ourselves up. Oh man, this is good.
So… you’re one of our performance clients working on your health first of all. I heard this just yesterday. I had a stressful, emotional day and the next thing I knew I was running to food for comfort. I hate myself for doing that. I just sabotaged everything I’ve been working toward. I’m just no good. I can’t overcome it. I just don’t have enough willpower.
Ever been there? I have.
Here’s what I’m NOT going to do. I’m not going to tell you all the reasons you shouldn’t feel that way. I’m not going to tell you to just SUCK IT UP and do the right thing… although sometimes we have to, right? Here’s what I want you to know.
You’re not alone and you can’t do it alone. And here’s the most important thing. You’re standing on the edge of the greatest opportunity of your life. A chance to learn how to FLIP what used to pull you backward into something that Rockets you forward into the best life you ever imagined.
And while you’re doing it, you can take a lot of people with you. You can break the chains of the past and the cycle of abuse you’ve been inflicting on yourself… so your legacy won’t be of self-abuse and head trash – but of confidence and progress toward unlocking your purpose, living with passion and becoming who you were created to be.
Imagine what it would be like to be free from those patterns that don’t serve you anymore. What would that be like? They’re enemies to your future, but they are disguised as allies, lulling you into defeat and the cycle of beating yourself up with head trash.
Imagine what it would be like if you developed a new set of habits that propel you forward? Is it easy? Simple, yes, but not easy. Will you fall down and have to just keep getting back up and trying again? Yes you will. I know I do.
That thing you’re beating yourself up over… maybe it’s that you never follow through on a great health and nutrition program or that you sabotage relationships or battle with a negative mindset or don’t have the faith or finances you know you’re capable of… that is the head trash that’s holding you back.
I remember people saying to me… what diet did you do to lose that 80 pounds? I’ve never found a diet that works for me. I don’t have enough willpower. … What they didn’t know was that I failed for decades at dieting and I was angry about it. It was only when I changed my thinking that I changed my body. … It was only when I surrounded myself with people who were also done beating themselves up and ready to move one tiny step at a time toward their dreams that I was able to break free from the patterns of the past and stop beating myself up.
I want that for you. I want to UNLOCK your purpose and live that passionate unencumbered life that helps you settle in to who you were created to be. Surround yourself with people who share your passion and you may need to step away from those who pull you down.
If you don’t have a community of support and structure to move from where you are to where you want to be, reach out to me and I’ll help you plug in to our fabulous community of support where our #1 goal is to get rid of the head trash.
You deserve better than what you’ve experienced so far. You can’t do it alone, but with the right...