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Get in! I'll explain on the way.  Used Cars was one in an endless loop of early '80s movies watching over us as we plopped ourselves down in front of the cathode-ray tube babysitter. And we flew in an expert for this episode. Jesus Mike is your man if you're in the market for a new beater. He's one suave....shut your mouth! This movie was a right of passage on The Movie Channel in 1981. TMC was our first VCR. Play it again Sam! 

Here we take a glancing blow at identifying some of the best albums of the 1980s....in our humble opinion of course. We're not deep diving, so don't judge, we've already handled that. Gotta say that I personally think that Duran Duran's first album should be included. However, the inclusion of Is There Something I Should Know on the reissue we got here in the states when Rio took off is simply too jarring. I always thought The Chauffeur would  have fit nicely on it  🤔

It's Just Begun....that song should have been used in the Roxy battle scene according to the Beat Street dancers. As one of the all time great breakdance tracks, it would have been epic. Hollywood always wants to have its own way though, and Arthur Baker's Breakers Revenge became iconic despite that overruling. That factoid is one of many that I forgot to offload during this episode. I was delirious about doing Beat Street for weeks and still couldn't get it right. Kool Moe Dee making his first appearance on film in the Christmas Rap with the Treacherous Three, sans his trademark sunglasses that never came off again. Let's just say that I couldn't hit the ass end of a bull with a hand full of sand. It went on and on and on, reminiscing in our nostalgic glow over a movie that felt like an artifact-like documentary of a golden era. Admiring one of the only truly American art forms beyond jazz. Created partly due to a lack of access to the disco phenomenon during a particularly bleak time in New York City. The Boogie Down Bronx is a real thing, and 1520 Sedgwick Avenue is its mecca. Watch the movie, read some hip hop history, see Steven Hager's Village Voice article on September 21st 1982 called "African Bambaataa's Hip Hop", search his script "Looking For the Perfect Beat", image search Jamel Shabazz.....I need to lay down.

This ain't no trip to Lapland, and it's not your moms plum pudding. And it's most certainly not a hallucination brought on by Russian vodka poisoned by Chernobyl! What it is, is a Yuletide celebration to rival any stocking stuffer you're sure receive.  Let us never forget the sentiments of Frank Cross at this time of year. The most magical moment for humanity. Yule love it! It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens, mom's cooking chicken.....oops, wrong miracle monologue.  It's Christmas Eve! It's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be. It's really a sort of a miracle, because it happens every Christmas Eve. And if you waste that miracle, you're gonna burn for it, I know what I am talking about. You have to do something. You have to take a chance. You do have to get involved. There are people that are having trouble making their miracle happen. There are people that don't have enough to eat, or people that are cold. You can go out and say hello to these people. You can take an old blanket out of the closet and say "Here!", you can make them a sandwich and say "Oh, by the way, here!" I get it now! And if you give, then it can happen, then the miracle can happen to you! It's not just the poor and the hungry, it's everybody's who's gotta have this miracle! And it can happen tonight for all of you! If you believe in this spirit thing, the miracle will happen and then you'll want it to happen again tomorrow. You won't be one of these bastards who says "Christmas is once a year and it's a fraud", it's NOT! It can happen every day, you've just got to want that feeling. And if you like it and you want it, you'll get greedy for it! You'll want it every day of your life and it can happen to you! I believe in it now! I believe it's going to happen to me now! I'm ready for it! And it's great. It's a good feeling, it's really better than I've felt in a long time. I'm ready. Have a Merry Christmas, everybody. Shitter's full.

Late night maneuvers and hot pursuit. What more do you need from the vault of Tony Times?

On our podcast there's an "ah" every 11 seconds, an errant "umm" every 25 seconds, a mispronounced word every 65 seconds, a serious case of copyright infringement every 24 minutes, and 250 cases of us focusing on ourselves instead of our listeners in every episode.We're downing Cella Chocolate Covered Cherries (the four c's that sweeten every Christmas) and clowning on Stallone's Dirty Harry wannabe startin' somethin' attempt at another franchise. Sufferin' succotash! It just wasn't in the cards for ole Sylvester with this one.So if you want to be a maverick renegade just like us, get in loser! This is our first Christmas movie of 2022, and we're way out on the fringe with this one. Cobra doesn't celebrate anything except lifted booties and the strike anywhere match, but we do. 

Happy Thanksgiving! Let's give thanks for the Keaton and the Garr. That's all I got for ya tonight folks. In the true spirit of gender blending, I have to bake cookies. They don't bake themselves you know!

Some Malden Chronicles dropouts straight from Mr. Berger's class.

rough-and-ready adjective (rə-fən-ˈre-dē): crude in nature, method, or manner but effective in action or use. Yep, that’s the ticket. We have another Malden Chronicles sit-down in the books. Let us give thanks. Thanks that it was a different time and place, literally. Otherwise, keep your head down and watch your step. Have you seen Junior’s grades?!

We got sideways and sugar spiraled on Saturday night. Enjoy this Fright Night pillowcase of mysteries. I admittedly did not take stock and edit it into neat piles for you. Let's dump it on the floor together and marvel at the assortment. Happy Halloween!

First cars and some roadworthy memories.

Get in buddy! We’re talking about a beautifully tragic tale. A story so improbably perfect for all of us self-avowed cretins. It was born evil and has possessed every youth who’s watched it since. How about we all agree Christine is about as magnificent a movie as you’ll ever experience in October. Just ask Phil! What else can I say? No shitter ever came between me and this movie. If they did, watch out.

Redacted material follows.....

Disclaimer: I (admittedly) don’t know about you, but I do know what this movie symbolized to me as an adolescent. It’s the dream that the seeds of who you believe, or imagine yourself to be, can be seen by others. And that you can end up living your (day)dream at the end of the day. Someday. With that boy or girl you've pined for. Quite simple. Even as an adult, being fully capable of digesting the subtext….I stand by that. Now let's get weird with this outlier in John Hughes' teen comedy canon. If you ask us, it's still funny and lovable, but with a zanier charm than his other movies. You’re stewed, buttwad!However, if you’re offended by the social or gender dynamics and stereotypes in this movie, the DeLorean is pulled over. So feel free to get out. See what we did there? Back To The Future was number one at the box office the weekend Weird Science opened. That and things were very different back then. And if you try to go back and change something, you could end up in a relationship with your mom.  You see, a theme is about as serious as the sense of humor it's wrapped in when delivered....at least that's what we're telling ourselves. Lalalalalala, we're not listening, but we hope you are!

We’re talking top ten fast food fads of the 80s in this minisode. From the faux health-conscious Lean Cuisiners, to the footless big gulpers. And a spirited discussion about north shore beefs almost comes to blows.  Let’s get dead.

We’re mailing it in with this one, flunking out in true Summer School fashion. No excuses, no doctors notes. I'm sure we're leaving a lot of stones unturned, so if you’re hoping for a deep dive on this movie…..we’ll be in the shallow end waiting for you.We’ve relied on our winning personalities more than once. Excelling in gaining confidences with words and destroying them with inaction is our currency. All while making you feel like we’ve somehow done you a solid. You’re welcome.

Join us for a couple of Top Ten lists from the 80s. Spoiler, the African ant eater ritual dance is not on them.Yes, I know it's Polaner All Fruit, not Polymer Real Fruit. Sometimes we get swept up in the frenzy. Can ya blame us?!

Turkey Point is open for business! And King Cry-baby is headlining this raucous romp of rampant juvenile delinquency.  John Waters has outdone himself with this divine time capsule of cinema for all you ne’er do wells to laze upon. Don’t be a square, revel in all its grease and glory…..because, sometimes shook-up old ladies get cut. Yes, I know it's Alannah Myles, and not Keys.

“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”  ― Michael J. Fox

This episode veers away from our conventional movie content. I’ve always planned to make periodical releases about growing up in Malden during the 80s. And if you think I’m starting a whole other podcast just to do it, blow it out your ass.  In short, we had a very unconventional childhood. Let’s just say that my mother had to reinvent her life after being left in the lurch (to put it mildly). She ultimately bought a rooming house to get all of her kids back under one roof. And growing up with countless, colorful renters living in our house was just a small slice of the never ending lawlessness that swirled around the family.  This is a sit down with my brother Jeff and our friend Mic to capture a handful of the hundreds of stories my brother has survived to share. Recording them is a mere shadow of hearing them in the wild, but this is where we’re at. These are some handpicked gems from the couple of hours we captured last June. We genuinely hope you enjoy them.