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It feels great to be back! Before we get into the topic of the day, a couple of very important announcements: First, I will be hosting a Trauma Workshop next Saturday, 5/28, at 11:30 am MST. Details to come! Second, in the next couple of weeks, I’ll be launching a brand new podcast called Trauma Talks. We will talk about trauma, but we will also examine the ways in which trauma becomes our voice. I’m super excited about this and I’ll let you know as we get closer to the launch date. Make sure you sign up for my mailing list to get the latest and greatest info on these new initiatives and anything else that comes from this mind of mine. You can sign up here: https://artburnscoaching.activehosted.com/f/3 In today’s episode, I talk about a friend's conversation with someone who told her that everyone who practices meditation does so only to use the practice as a means of escape. While it is true that many people do, in fact, use these practices in exactly this way, it is also true that people like Thich Nhat Hanh practice engaged Buddhism, achieving the exact opposite effect of escape. And it is also true that people come to these practices to sell more stuff to people or to get more productivity from employees. The point is that these practices are a set of tools that can be useful in all these endeavors. But the practice is the same in every one. So it really comes down to the intention one brings to these practices. I go into great depth and detail in today’s episode, which you can watch here: If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

Can we talk about self-love? To me, it seems the term self-love has become cliché from overuse. Like I’ll see something about self-love on a coffee cup at Target, kinda say ‘oh yeah, self-love’ and go about my business. Does this happen with you, too? I’ve come to realize that self-love is far more important than its tchotchke value. As I discuss in today’s episode, self-love is the tool that allows us to make the connections in our lives that allow for our authenticity. And this, my friend, is perhaps the most important thing we can do! The trick is that in order for self-love to transcend the message on a coffee cup, it requires honesty. And that honesty comes from forgiveness. Please check out today’s episode to understand what I mean: https://youtu.be/Dc8jMesWW2g If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

What a couple of weeks it’s been! Since I last reached out, I drove to NY and back (over 3600 miles) within 4 days. It was grueling and at times even scary. But I made it. One major development is my ability now to put to rest any notion of quitting everything to become a truck driver. That’s definitely not going to happen! I’m sure you’re wondering what on Earth would make me do such a thing. As I tell it in today’s episode, I traveled back to NY for my mother’s funeral. Though she was sick, my mother’s passing was sudden and unexpected. And my first thought was ‘At last, she doesn’t need to be angry anymore.’ Then it occurred to me - more as a feeling than a thought - ‘She can’t hurt me anymore.’ This second statement says so much! At 5’4”, my mother hasn’t been able to hurt me since I was 13 years old. Maybe even younger than that. But in the 40 years since, I’ve felt gripped with the tension of a nervous system that was formed under abuse and threat and this has resulted in a fear and sympathetic nervous system response that’s impacted nearly every experience I’ve had. This was illustrated in the way I experienced all my uncles and aunts at the funeral. I was bracing for the usual judgment and ridicule I would get from them every time I’d see them. Of course, it stands to reason that they took special care to be gentle on this difficult day, but I experienced a lightness that continued on even as their words became slurred as the drinks flowed. Anyway, here’s today’s episode. I hope you enjoy it. If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

“Whenever possible, be kind. It is always possible.” - Dalai Lama This is a quote I’ve recited many times. And I have personally, with some surprise, come to believe it’s truth. But what about someone with a history of trauma? What about someone in an abusive relationship? What about the victim of violence? Are we to tell these people they should suck it up and be kind? No matter how hard that might be for them? Well, if you work with me, you’ll never be pushed in that way. However, it is also undeniable that kindness is beneficial to your health and well-being. So how do we resolve the two? In today’s episode, I offer two simple and easy practices that require no more than 7 minutes a day for the next two weeks. I hope you’re able to try them! https://youtu.be/lRPfIqkC74g If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

As I make videos about kindness, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and all the other soft skills, I sometimes get comments from people questioning my logic. For most, the issue seems to revolve around the notion that the world is a hard and viciously competitive place, and practicing these skills will make you soft and leave you vulnerable to being trampled. There is much evidence to the contrary! In her wonderful book A Paradise Built in Hell, Rebecca Solnit tells story after story of people coming together in mutual aid in defiance of the government representatives who warn of looting and violence. I’ve told you the story, in a previous video, of the Real-Life Lord of the Flies. You can read about it in this article. And there are my own anecdotal experiences that have shown me more happiness and fulfillment the deeper I develop these soft skills. But today I want to tell you about a study, done way back in 1988, that tested the impact of soft skills on the unlikeliest group of leaders. In his study, Nice Guys Finish First: A SYMLOG Analysis of U.S. Naval Commands, leadership expert Wallace Bachman shows that the most effective Navy brass embody more of the soft skills people fear. In today’s episode, I read the whole list. I think you’ll find it very interesting: If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

I think I’m finally settling into what is the actual, natural, and authentic routine for this podcast and youtube channel. But I also want to start delivering some more value to you in my emails, so you should start hearing more from me on the days I don’t do a podcast episode. And this has everything to do with today’s episode. Today I talk about authenticity as I share a story of a busy cafe in NYC and a guy who wore shorts, sneakers, and a wrinkly shirt and tie to be as accepted in a business meeting every bit as much as I would in my stuffy clothes. It’s a bit of a ranging episode, covering a few other important aspects of authenticity and how self-compassion allows us to find our own authenticity. I hope you enjoy it: If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

I’m very grateful for the opportunity to record the rare Sunday episode! I feel like I saw a rare bird or something. Yesterday, we covered the concept that Alan Watts spoke about in his quote: “Stop measuring your days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence.” Today, someone left a comment that she’d been ‘fighting’ with this all morning. And that notion of fighting our internal conflicts inspired me to make this episode today. In short, fighting, which demands there be a winner AND a loser, makes us operate from fear and causes stress, moves us further away from the present moment. But it is also important to recognize that before anything can be changed, we must first bring awareness to the problem or issue. And in many cases, it is the awareness alone that facilitates, or at least initiates, the change we seek. I go into all this in great detail in today’s episode: If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

In today’s episode, I talk about the concept of the conditioned, optimized, and prepared mind. After all, the practices I talk about here all cultivate these qualities of the mind and nervous system. The thing is, when we measure our success and failure by our productivity, we have to sacrifice presence to do so. (We sit and worry about a deadline or ruminate over a delay and this process moves us away from the present moment.) When we prioritize presence, we create space for ideas to grow and we create a preparedness that positions us favorably for chance and opportunity. Check out today's episode to hear one of my all-time favorite quotes! If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

The inspiration for today’s episode comes from hearing, a few times over the past couple of days, that we should love ourselves exactly as we are. In the sense that we should never feel pressured to change our appearance or behavior to become more loveable, I totally agree with the idea… But if you are someone, like me, who has experienced trauma in your life, you may feel something intrinsically unlovable about yourself. The key is to first recognize that it is not your self - your essence - which seems unlovable. What has always seemed unlovable about me is the way I get triggered and act out in rude and unkind ways in certain situations. But that’s not me. That is what’s happened to me. There’s an important difference. Seeing that difference opens us up to the middle ground between hating my ‘self’ and loving myself exactly as I am. This middle ground, very different from self-love, is Self Compassion. If you would like to hear me discuss this difference, along with an epic line I came up with, check out today’s episode: If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

Well, it’s been all week since I’ve recorded an episode, and wow, have I missed you! I’m back today inspired by a short video I made for Tik Tok this morning about why - and how - to meditate in order to build the vital life skills meditation will develop. In the episode today, I talk about three such vital skills: The ability to focus our attention… The ability to know when our attention has wandered… The ability to be more aware of our surroundings and internal state. With these three abilities, we can live a more grounded and connected life. This comes not only from the direct skills but also from the natural kindness and compassion that will arise from the integration meditation will promote. It all starts with attention training. And one of the best methods to train attention is to do a little self-guided meditation every day. Check out today’s episode to learn more: If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

Sorry for the poor audio in the first ¾ of today’s episode. We are experiencing technical difficulties. Today I talk about our inner dialogue and how big a role it plays in every one of our experiences. And then I talk about how it’s the awareness of the dialogue - as opposed to changing it - that is the important skill. I hope you enjoy it! If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

Welcome back to the two-segment format! Not sure if it’s here to stay, but it’s here today, so let’s enjoy it! In the first segment, I tell a bit of a personal story about my own journey that ended up in the practices of mindfulness, compassion, self-compassion, and lovingkindness. I share this story specifically to illustrate how wrong I was about one of the most important aspects of this work: that it’s never about eliminating things like stress, anger, and reactivity; it’s about changing our relationship to these aspects of ourselves so we can act in our own best interest in the face of them. In the second segment, I share a few thoughts on one of the most powerful tools for showing up: Forgiveness. Specifically, I discuss how forgiveness is not the weakness most take it to be. Forgiveness is more like a bullet-proof vest. Check out today’s episode to learn more: If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

Often when we start a new process - mindfulness, dieting, working out, kindness, etc - we come to the idea that because we’re starting this thing now, we haven’t done anything before. For instance, we get the weird sense that when I start eating this new way, I’m starting a diet. But the truth is that I’ve had a diet all along. It was just an unhealthy diet. But when I look at it as not something new, but instead something changed, it opens me to see the momentum I’ve built against what I’m working on, and in this realization, I find the self-compassion that could be the single most determining factor in the success of this endeavor. OK, that was a loaded sentence! Good thing I cover it all in today’s video: I hope you enjoyed today’s episode! As always, I want you to know about the resources I’ve made available for you: If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

Most sociologists, anthropologists, and neuroscientists will shy away from the term Human Nature because it discounts the impact our personal experience has on our behavior. While humans have shown clearly the capacity for acts of great violence, we see equal examples of acts of great altruism. In today’s episode, I explore this issue and tie it into how we can practice kindness, forgiveness, and compassion. I hope you enjoy it! If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session If you’d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron: https://www.patreon.com/artburns

Before we go any further, please remember that I am not a licensed therapist and am not giving mental health advice in this or any of the episodes of the Showing up to Life Podcast and YouTube Channel. Gosh, that is an uptight sentence! Sorry you had to read that! But the sentence feels necessary and appropriate, as today’s episode is all about mental health as seen through the lens of Mindfulness, Compassion, and Self Compassion. I hope this episode brings an understanding and a point of view that will help you navigate your own health conditions. (Please know that everyone has mental health and whatever that condition is for you, there is no shame.) If you feel like you could benefit further from the work I talk about here; if you feel like some 1:1 support would help, please click this link and book your free coaching session with me: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session And if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out via email: art@artburnscoaching.com. (It sometimes takes a while, but I answer all emails! Please practice patience and forgiveness with me!)

While my hand is still a bit sore, I’m going to make this description brief! Essentially, today I discuss how aversion leads to the present moment experience of tension and suffering whether it’s raining or not! https://youtu.be/qTHdbQR8Su4 If you’d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here: https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/ And if you’d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

If you listen to me for even a few minutes, you’re likely to hear me use the word Skillfulness. The practices that I talk about here are all about developing the skill of living well. As Sharon Salzberg has said: “We don’t meditate to get better at meditation. We meditate to get better at life.” When we live without skill, we naturally engage in judging. When we encounter another person, this judging shows up as jealousy, resentment, and downward social comparison. In today’s episode, I talk about what Buddhism calls The Four Heavenly Abodes (AKA Boundless States of Consciousness): Love, Compassion, Equanimity, and Sympathetic Joy. I cover the first two at the surface level and go deep on Equanimity and Sympathetic Joy. I hope you enjoy the episode! If you have any questions on any of this, please feel free to comment on the video or send me an email at art@artburnscoaching.com. Or you can also meet with me live and in person. It’s a free meeting with absolutely no strings attached! To claim your free coaching session, please click here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

So often you’ll hear me talk about aversion and clinging, two negative mental states from which only negative emotions will arise. We tend to talk about aversion and clinging because we can readily see these mental states when we experience them. But there is a third negative mental state that completes what the Buddhist tradition refers to as the three poisons. And this first poison is the negative mental state that gives way to aversion and clinging. I’m talking about the mental state of Delusion. Simply, this concept of delusion is simply the act of seeing things inaccurately, which I explain in today’s episode is a habit we cultivate through years of unwitting practice. One of the most common ways delusion shows up in our lives is in the expectations we carry into most of our experiences. That’s what today’s episode is all about. And I hope you enjoy it! If you have any questions on any of this, please feel free to comment on the video or send me an email at art@artburnscoaching.com. Or you can also meet with me live and in person. It’s a free meeting with absolutely no strings attached! To claim your free coaching session, please click here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

In today’s episode, I talk about suffering. I use the example of Animal Agriculture (AKA Factory Farming) as a starting point, but apply the same logic and concepts to all of the mass suffering we see on a daily basis. Of course, this includes the suffering of everyone, everywhere. This feels counterintuitive. How can noticing more suffering lead to less dysregulation?? Well, it’s all about context. And it’s all about seeing the systems of suffering, too. I hope you enjoy the episode: If you have any questions on any of this, please feel free to comment on the video or send me an email at art@artburnscoaching.com. Or you can also meet with me live and in person. It’s a free meeting with absolutely no strings attached! To claim your free coaching session, please click here: https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

In today’s episode, I discuss my own history and relationship to anger and how I’ve changed over the years to break free from the grips of my own anger and reactivity. I hope you enjoy it!