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We talk about the presidential pardon spree, Bernie Sanders in a cocoon at the inauguration, Hot Pockets’ recall, and more. We remember Larry King, Hank Aaron, and Tommy Lasorda. Plus: our friend Russ Leatherman, aka the iconic Mr. Moviefone, finally picks up HIS phone and goes off on “full-blown A-hole” Ellen “Degenerate”, why he can’t return to civilization after the pandemic, and the future of movies.

The last episode of the year is here! JB and Buzz weigh in on some headlines from the week, read your emails, and reflect on the ride that’s been The Sh*t Show. Plus: it’s a semi-holiday special with classics from the archives (toy store calls, Santa live, and Johnny’s mom Hanky), a sneak peek inside a Brandmeier Christmas party, and more. Also, “Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You” backfires and for those asking, yes, Buzz’s Porn Emporium has survived the pandemic.

Warning: This week’s episode is not recommended for children or horses. Buzz really loves The Great on Hulu. JB talks to a psychic who talked to Joe Biden’s dogs. We examine Rudy Giuliani’s public farts. Lou Holtz has the Medal of Freedom and JB has his neck brace. Will the Tiger King be pardoned? Cher saved the world’s loneliest elephant and airlines are banning support animals (cue The Movie Man’s story). Don’t call us – unless you write chicken haikus. Joe the Love Potato remembered and supermarket pick-up lines for Buzz’s grocery obsession. Plus: discussion on the Showtime doc “Belushi” and “Shout” live by the Leisure Suits.

JB sees an ad in the radio trades and gets his airchecks ready to go, plus puts his Misinformation Line skills to work. Mike Tyson is back and ripped, a tow truck driver refuses to help a Biden supporter, a kid busts his mom for drunk driving, and Wolfgang Van Halen pays tribute to his dad. A call to a listener with one arm and no legs should make us all stop complaining! Speaking of complaints, JB responds to comments about the live stream. Buzz wants to bring back the “sombrero of snacks.” And it’s not Thanksgiving without calls to the Butterball Turkey Hotline, scenes and stories from JB’s movie “Thanksgiving Day,” and Patti LaBelle’s sweet potato pie!

Topics include moving to the Ozarks for 10 grand, drunk Chicago White Sox manager Tony La Russa, and more. We call a guy who knows a guy to find him a job and wish the world’s oldest midget a happy birthday. The Good Outdoorsman Eddie Abler talks to a woman who fought a deer with her bare hands. And from The Brandmeier Archives: “Jeopardy!” host Alex Trebek in studio busts Johnny B.’s balls.

Sh*t Show merch is here – and there’s a wine to go with it! JB calls on the jobs that LinkedIn suggests for him. We talk Johnny Depp’s turd trial and more talking headlines. A listener finds dead bodies at work and another remembers an old show character (well, well, well). Plus: The Doobie Brothers are finally in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Michael McDonald’s live in the Lovedart Lounge, direct from The Brandmeier Archives. 

We play our classic celebrity wake-up call to the late Sean Connery, discuss the hot new pandemic trend — living in a van (DOWN BY THE RIVER!) — and Costco’s monkey problem. A bar owner who’s ticked off at the latest shutdown is on the line. We review a Netflix doc – the octopus is not our teacher! – and more.

A listener complains about the show’s length. LinkedIn has suggestions for JB’s next gig – selling flying squirrels isn’t one of them. More mishaps in broadcasting: Troy Aikman mocks flyovers and Jeffrey Toobin masturbates on a Zoom call. Plus: Wa wa wee wa – Borat is back! And so is the original Borat/Brandmeier interview.

JB & Buzz (aka Judge Mental) discuss the new “politically correct” world of broadcasting – the tweets and talk of fired radio guys, Bill Burr’s SNL monologue, and the renaming of the Eskimo Pie. Also, David Crosby’s “meh” memorial for Eddie Van Halen, the only 3 places in America without COVID, and Eddie Abler’s report on fishing boat caskets. Plus: a radio flashback with Lenny Kravitz.

RIP Eddie Van Halen – from the archives, we play the full, unedited Brandmeier/Van Halen studio interview. Other topics include sh*t stories in the news, a CNN anchor ambushed by raccoons, a man who found a brain in Wisconsin, and the ongoing mask debate. Plus: A roadie comments on Buzz’s plan for ONE billionaire to save live music and we get back to back live calls from Mississippi.

Johnny’s perturbed by a listener who questions his professionalism. We talk about how the NFL’s brought back a sense of normalcy and hope the season continues, our pal Weird Al takes on that debate, and more. Bored at home during the pandemic? Teach your dog to talk (we call a guy who’s working on it) or do what Johnny does - call tech support and play clips from Nell. Plus: a listener emailed us about a bed bug problem – guess who responds to him?

JB gets pulled over by a police officer who’s a fan of the Moo Moo song. From the archives, conversations with the late Hall of Fame running back Gale Sayers and Sylvester Stallone’s mother Jackie. Calling one billionaire – Buzz wants you to save live music clubs – and a guy in Milwaukee wants us all to save the Taco Bell Mexican pizza.

Some news you can lose: a TikTok star explains how to get free food from restaurants, a YouTuber poops on Nancy Pelosi’s driveway, a dentist gets time for performing surgery while on a hoverboard, Senator Chuck Schumer does stand-up, and more. Plus: Big Ten is back, Chris Rock’s on Fargo, and one of our listeners is a hero.

A California wildfire was caused by a gender reveal party – we talk to the woman who started the trend (not the fire!). A guy on a mission to have boneless wings removed from menus calls in. We get ready for some football…with Liberace?! And Johnny wonders…are we all just army ants going in circles with COVID info?

A salute to Super Dave: Actor and comedian Bob Einstein, aka Super Dave Osborne and Marty Funkhouser on Curb Your Enthusiasm, was one of our all-time favorite guests. He passed away while we were gone and we never got to pay proper tribute, so this episode is our salute to Super Dave! He called in whenever he felt like it and would jump into the conversation with whoever we had on, from Norm Macdonald, Bobby Goldsboro, a turkey calling champion, and others. He talks about his appearances on Curb and tells many jokes you’ll want to remember. 

A bison ripped a biker chick’s pants off at Sturgis - we talk to the woman who caught the whole thing on video. We discuss the My Pillow Guy’s cure for COVID, the NBA announcer suspended for accidentally tweeting the N-word, the MLB announcer fired for an anti-gay slur, and more. The world record holder for most words spelled backwards in one minute joins us. Plus: a montage of the crazy little things Buzz says.

Jim Belushi joins us to talk about his pot farm & new show “Growing Belushi”. The Italian duo who did the song “Stay Home You Sonnomabetch” give us a taste of it live. Johnny gets political (about scrotum frogs in Lake Titicaca), talks about Smash Mouth going crazy at the Sturgis Biker Rally, and has some sound advice for MLB broadcasts with no crowd.

An R-rated voicemail almost takes the show in an ugly direction. Listener “Mike the Trucker” wants JB to teach him how to sing Kenny Chesney’s “There Goes My Life” for his daughter’s wedding. With the Sturgis motorcycle rally happening this week, JB remembers trying to join Hells Angels with founder Sonny Barger. Buzz is annoyed by news reporters wearing masks on TV and is going to hell for stealing avocados. Plus: we’re “afraid of Americans” – some weird/gross stories from the week, and of course, it’s Pat the complainer with another voicemail, and this time she actually likes something...and it’s not sand!

We talk to some people in the news: Lynn from Lake Geneva questions Chicago’s plans to fine people who don’t quarantine after visiting Wisconsin and Richard from Austin explains how he caught his Uber Eats driver eating his chicken wings. JB warns against car washes with tracks after getting stuck in one and crushing his car. We play some quick requests from the archives (a denied Lobster Gram, a kid named Stoner, the making of a Neil Diamond album), and more!

We chat with our favorite mate across the pond, U.K. radio personality Graham Mack, about the latest news out of Britain and more. In this week’s edition of Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You, L.A. listener Sean spills stories from his job cleaning celebrities’ carpets. JB dials up “bear whisperer” Steve Searles after hearing he lost his job due to the coronavirus. Plus, JB can’t quit these two women: Anita Tequila (he calls her back to ask “excuse me, señor, do you have any hats?”) and it’s Pat the Complainer and her latest voicemail closing the show on an upbeat note again!