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Dr. Liz Powell and Dylan Thomas, got together in Toronto, Ontario, CA for Playground 2018 and put together a panel on Mortality. They talk about their experiences losing intimate partners… and how unprepared they were. Dr. Liz and I put some resources on dealing with death together. You can find them at Bit.ly/relateloss.     Outro Music: Tails – Ghosted (feat. Pauline Herr) Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell

Tonight the social club hosts our second takeover by Sex Educator and Host of Sex Ed A Go-Go, Dirty Lola, and by the creator of Poly Role Models and author of Love’s Not Color Blind, Kevin Patterson. They are black by popular demand and they’re creating a space where your lived experiences are front and center, a space where you don’t need to code switch or watch your tone, a space where you can be unequivocally and magically black. A space, they call, The Blackout.

Today, the club's taken over by none other than its host, Dylan Thomas, as he tells a story about a wonderful, intense, and surprisingly complex surprise experience he had recently with someone he never expected to connect with on an intimate level again. He talks dating, divorce, disappointment, reclamation, redemption, self-reflection, self-worth, the enormous value of both giving and taking true gratitude. All this was recorded at the Gentleperverts’ Social Club. You can find more Gentleperverts’ Social Club podcasts every month at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics on twitter with @GentlePerverts and with Dylan at @DylanTheThomas on Twitter, or on Facebook or Fetlife. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that over to dylan@lifeontheswingset.com. If you enjoy listening, toss a dollar into the tip jar at tip.gentleperverts.com.   Outro Music: Mr. FijiWiji & Direct – Tomorrow (feat. Mat Van & Holly Drummond) Dylan Thomas

Tonight the social club hosts a takeover by Sex Educator, and Host of Sex Ed A Go-Go, Dirty Lola, and creator of Poly Role Models, Kevin Patterson. They are black by popular demand and they’re creating a space where your lived experiences are front and center, a space where you don’t need to code switch or watch your tone, a space where you can be unequivocally and magically black. A space, they call… The BlackOut.   Today's outro music was a track by Televisor titled Break Loose (Volant Remix), featuring Splitbreed.  

Dirty Lola, Mr. Pent,  Frisky Fairy, and Dylan Thomas reconnect over long distance relationships both won and lost as imbalances in visibility and availability, unequal communication, issues stemming from mental illness, and the lack of setting expectations threaten to spoil a relationship type that can be incredibly rewarding… with some preparation and coordination.   This is the Gentleperverts Social Club, and though we may be the ones talking… we can be a platform for you. Feel free to submit a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a discussion topic to me at dylan@lifeontheswingset.com. Tonight's episode featured music by LVTHER titled: Dots, featuring Jenny Broke The Window

While enjoying time at Desire Resort and Spa, we watched, waited, and realized our suffering through the 2016 Election would continue, but we decided to acknowledge the election and move on, for when we returned home we'd have work to do, and there was no work to be done while “stuck in Mexico”. So, Chris Pent. Dr. Liz Powell and myself, with Tonia as our willing hostess and facilitator, decided to talk about: Closing the Deal Being sexually free means potential surrounds you, but it can be a real challenge to find someone you're attracted to and to ask them to join you in a way that allows for multiple chances for success, and for graceful failures.     We are the Gentleperverts Social Club, You can find more Gentleperverts’ Social Club podcasts every month at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics on twitter with @GentlePerverts and on the Swingset.FM network hashtag #SSFM on twitter.. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on Twitter, Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic, send that over to me at dylan@lifeontheswingset.com.   We featured music by: Puppet titled Play Pretend, off the new Fear is Fleeting EP

I'm happy to open our doors again, because tonight we have one hell of a show for you. Team Ass & Titties stopped by to discuss gettin’ booty, ghosting, and being terrible at hookups, and Morgan stops by with the entire Bridgetown Sexy team to talk about finding nonmonogamy, discovering new partners, and swinging.     Gettin' Booty, Gettin' Feelings The Ass & Titties crew, aka: Dirty Lola, Mr. Pent, and the Frisky Fairy decide to get together and talk about gettin’ some booty, and getting a little extra feelings along the way. They find you don’t have to shy away from feelings, you need to occasionally be exceptional at communicating expectations, or you get to make some uncomfortable choices.     Finding Non-Monogamy, New Partners, Swinging, Clubs, with the Bridgetown Sexy crew! Morgan and Cole invite themselves over to Liz and Jack‘s place to listen to them tell their origin story. Jack introduces Morgan and Cole to naked story telling as he and Liz talk about discovering swinging, discovering new partners, and discovering kick-ass swinger clubs.     Ghosting: It Sucks, It's Useful Dirty Lola, Mr. Pent, and the Frisky Fairy chat ghosting and find that sometimes… ghosting's the safest way to let someone down. Safety concerns, unpleasant interactions, and current societal expectations go into the math on deciding whether to let someone down, or to quietly let someone go.   We're Bad at Hookups Dirty Lola, Mr. Pent, and the Frisky Fairy admit that sometimes they're bad at hookups, and that presents problems if you're just trying to get laid.   Everything here, no matter where it was recorded, is all part of the Gentleperverts Social Club, You can find more Gentleperverts’ Social Club podcasts every month at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics on twitter with @GentlePerverts and on the Swingset.FM network hashtag #SSFM on twitter.. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on Twitter, Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that over to me at dylan@lifeontheswingset.com.   Tonight's episode featured music by Soupandreas titled: Over You.

Hello Perverts! We discuss online dating while femme with Flick, Kat, and Lola. We also fielded a light bulb filled response to our episode on Trigger Warnings from Nobilis Reed. Online Dating While Femme We discuss why men behave badly while trying to date women, including name calling, shaming, negging, as we try to figure out… what the hell is the expected return on messages like that? Are men just trying to keep women in line for the next man? Why can't men take rejection gracefully? What do you do with “nice guys” when they just don't know any better, can they be socialized into changing? While we briefly consider that public shaming can sometimes be a powerful tool we approach online discussions and how men can back women up when discussions start to go wrong. You can find WetCoastCat at www.lifeontheswingset.com/author/kat/ and on twitter @wetcoastkat. You can find Flick on twitter @seriousFLICK. You can find DirtyLola and her podcast, Sex Ed A. Go Go at www.sexedagogo.com and find her on twitter @DirtyLola.   Trigger Warnings and Spoilers Nobilis Reed and D Dog discuss trigger warnings after making a connection between the the function of trigger warnings and the effort to limit movie spoilers. Nobilis Reed is the creator and host of the best speculative fiction erotica podcast in the known universe. He's also an author, anthology editor, and self-avowed social justice cleric. His podcast can be found at nobilis.libsyn.com and you can find him on twitter @nobilis.     All this was recorded at the Gentleperverts’ Social Club. You can find more Gentleperverts’ Social Club podcasts every month at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics on twitter with @GentlePerverts and me @DylanTheThomas. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife as DylanTheThomas. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that over to me at dylan@lifeontheswingset.com. If you like having this podcast, throw me a buck or two per episode at tip.gentleperverts.com.

We all know that as non-monogamous perverts, we’re completely above jealousy. It’s 100% full-time compersion up in here!  Except we’re not, and it’s not. Jealousy affects all our relationships for so many different reasons. Different people and situations trigger jealousy bombs in sometimes unexpected ways. @wetcoastkat and @seriousFLICK discuss jealousy in many of its iterations, what it means, what it doesn’t mean, why some people cause you to Hulk out while others might inspire giddy compersion rainbows and why rules don’t always work in the shadow of their coming out and their trip to Desire. They also discuss what they have done to decrease the harm jealousy can do in their open relationship. You can find WetCoastCat at www.lifeontheswingset.com/author/kat/ and on twitter @wetcoastkat. You can find Flick on twitter @seriousFLICK.   Hey Perverts, Dylan here… I had this insane conversation with a dude, just earlier today, someone who was complaining that women get to do men don’t do. “It’s just like reverse racism!” “See? Women have it better.” And the thing is… I get it. I get where that might come from, sometimes things seem unfair, especially to men, men who have been taught they need to earn a woman’s affection meaning, if they just show enough devotion, put in enough effort, and demonstrate they can provide, and any woman out there worth anything should want to be with them. Men have been taught to worship women and to work themselves to the bone for someone so they don’t have to. I get it. We’ve been setup to sacrifice ourselves for someone else, someone else who wants us to sacrifice for them and who will show us their eternal appreciation by opening their hearts, their minds and yes… their legs. I. Get. It. But that’s the thing, we’ve been setup, by the men and women in our lives, by our parents, by our cultures, by the people we’ve cared about our entire lives because they didn’t know any better. We’ve been set-up to feel like if someone doesn’t want that they’re ungrateful. It’s insidious, and it does us nothing but harm and it sets us up to get left at the doorstep when we walk someone home or get left without a drinking partner when we buy someone a few drinks or don’t get a thank you when we hold a door open or when we don’t get brought home when we buy someone dinner, because we –expect something- based on what we put out. We’ve been set up. Thing is, women have been setup too, we’ve all been setup, and the more people figure it out, the more the people who haven’t figured it out get angry because we’re not getting what we’re supposed to, because the world has changed and women faster than men are changing meaning we’re getting left behind, but it doesn’t have to be like that. If you’re listening to this and connecting to any of the frustrations I laid out above then know there’s a better way. Many women don’t need or want us to lay down our lives for them, they don’t want to be put on a pedestal and worshiped, they don’t want to be provided for… they just want to be people, and move with people that understand no one owes anyone anything… and that means us. If we want to be with someone, be with women, and be listened to, friends with, cared for, and loved by women, it needs to be a meeting of equals and a mutual meeting of minds, meeting of hearts, and yes… a mutual meeting of bodies. And if you don’t get that, know this. Women don’t give a fuck what you think or what you want, because they don’t have to, because giving a fuck… That… is something you have to earn. Check out these articles by Rafaella Gunz about her experiences seeking support in STI communities and… being hit with men feeling like she’s open for business, and being hit with men and women hitting her with “it’s just benign, it’s just harassment, deal with it”. Take a few minutes to read, even if you decide not to agree with all of us, understand where she’s coming from and where women come from every day. http://www.guerrillafeminism.org/male-entitlement-lives-even-in-sti-support-communities-rafaella-gunz http://www.guerrillafeminism.org/internalized-misogyny-lives-even-in-sti-support-communities-rafaella-gunz/   Thanks for letting me rant a little, and to honor the fact that this will be my very last rant of 2015 I’ll close out by telling you that all of this was recorded at The Gentleperverts’ Social club, population, all of us. You can find more Gentleperverts’ Social Club podcasts every month at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics on twitter with @GentlePerverts and me @DylanTheThomas. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife as DylanTheThomas. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that over to me at dylan@lifeontheswingset.com. If you like having me record live and on location, throw me a buck or two at tip.gentleperverts.com. See you all next time, and stay warm.   Tonight we featured tracks by Stephen Walking and Tristam, titled: Too Simple, and by Muzzy & Day One titled: Black Magic.

Perverts! Stand at attention and lend me your ears, for tonight… we once again dive into language, we dive into our common vocabulary because sometimes we throw words around without regard to their roots and their original meaning. Words are understood and misunderstood, used and misused, and in the process words lose meaning. Words that lose their meaning can still useful. We can discuss, reexamine, and reclaim the words we’ve lost and in this spirit today, with Crista Anne and with Erin Kennedy, we spend our time discussing… Trigger warnings. We also touch on helicopter parenting generating “adults” who expect the world to adjust to them, and how shielding children from the reality that trauma exists in the world renders them unprepared to deal with the real world and we talk about storytelling and touch on Orange is the new Black and Jessica Jones Choice Quotes: Crista Anne: For people who are thrown into flashbacks or full blown panic attacks (don’t know who you are, lose touch with reality, lose touch with time), they are just absolutely invaluable, to me, and as they have become more popular over time I have found navigating the internet to be so much easier. Erin Kennedy: There’s an inherent privilege as to what gets trigger warnings. …I think it’s a balance between protecting people and protecting ourselves and making sure that we have the stuff that empathy is created out of…. Balancing between keeping yourself safe emotionally and also doing the work of empathy, however painful that is, is a tough balance to create. You can find Erin Kennedy at www.sexfortherest.com and on twitter @erinstwitsexual and on facebook at facebook.com/sexfortherest and… and because she’s awesome, on Tumblr at sexfortherestofus.tumblr.com. Crista Anne is mighty and she will… eventually run the world! You can find her on twitter at @Pinkness and at www.cristaanne.com and everywhere else as CristaAnne. You can find Savoy – Your Time (feat Kiely) on Youtube and iTunes.

Hello and many Greetings to all you perverts, I’m recording live from Desire Resort & Spa in Cancun, Mexico! Earlier today I sat down with upwards of thirty, and likely many less than two hundred perverts for a discussion about spaces. What makes a space special? What helps make people feel safe? What makes a space a focal point for a community? As we moved through a “how do we find other perverts” discussion, we stumbled on the question of what it means to stay closeted and to come out these days, drawing parallels and differences between the nonmonogamous and queer communities, and examining how it’s possible to win the hearts and minds of others when engaging them “behind enemy lines”. Usually I’d have a little more to say, but I’m all talked out… and kissed out, and blissed out… I mean, really, if you’ve never made out with a tequila flavored shotglass…. You should give it a try. But before you search for a shotglass with a flared base, this has been… quite literally, been a recording taken at the Gentleperverts’ Social Club, on location, in Mexico. You can find more Gentleperverts’ Social Club podcasts every month at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics on twitter with @GentlePerverts and me @DylanTheThomas. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife as DylanTheThomas. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that over to me at dylan@lifeontheswingset.com. If you like having me record live, on location, throw me a buck or two at tip.gentleperverts.com. Thanks for listening, and I hope to hear from you all soon.

Hi all, Dylan here, It's been a while since I convened the club, and on the eve of my trip to Mexico after a long… long time without a break, I decided to put out a half-length show to whet your whistle and get you ready for the -seriously- biting episode we have in the pressure cooker. For now, enjoy some music, enjoy a story, and enjoy my wife and I having a bit of a chat. Segment 1, Dylan's Feels I've had an exceptionally rough year and I'm getting past it but for some reason a particular song made me sit and feel everything all at once because, disregarding lyrics (words? who listens to music for words?!), this song felt like my life. Enjoy Varien – Valkyrie III: Atonement (feat. Laura Brehm) and thanks for sticking with me during the rough times.   Segment 2, Storytime With Kat Wetcoast Kat is back with a story of a date and a little… under the table action. You can find her on twitter and on her own blog at lifeontheswingset.com/author/kat!   Segment 3, Dylan's Feels ….. again? A chance encounter at the store on the way to a party sparks a conversation between Dylan and Tonia. It touches on a little paternalism, a little ownership, a little creepy dude … and maybe a little oversensitive Dylan.   You can find more Gentleperverts podcasts every few weeks on Friday at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics on the site or by pinging us on twitter at #GPSC or @GentlePerverts. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on twitter, Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife as DylanTheThomas and you can support me and the club at tip.gentleperverts.com. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that to dylan@lifeontheswingset.com. Thanks, and I'll pour an alcoholic smoothie down my wife's throat in all your honors.   This episode featured music from: Varien – Valkyrie III: Atonement (feat. Laura Brehm) Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g34ZSm8PqI iTunes Download Link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/valkyrie-iii-atonement-feat./id1048219775 Deon Custom – Aloha Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTAf5h_t3KY iTunes Download Link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/aloha-single/id1049816302 Televisor – Break Loose (feat. Splitbreed) (Volant Remix) Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgZPwsNHRIk iTunes Download Link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/monstercat-024-vanguard/id1052327587 Pegboard Nerds – Emoji Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgZPwsNHRIk iTunes Download Link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/monstercat-024-vanguard/id1052327587

Ahhhh… it’s good to see my people again. Welcome back perverts. Many of you travel and have taken the time record a little bit of yourselves. Today I reward your efforts! This is truly a milestone, truly a day worthy of song and drink. It is the day I release a Gentleperverts Social Club where I don’t say a damn thing. Except for right now where I ask you to consider helping support the Social Club on a per episode or per monthly basis. It takes a lot of work to keep this going and with your help I can do that…maybe with a little more help I can do a little more. Visit tip.gentleperverts.com and subscribe for as little as a dollar per episode or even a dollar per month. Every little bit will help me contribute just a little bit more to the club, and to the rest of my travel, my speaking, my production elsewhere… really just everything. Anyway, today we’re featuring Sex Geeks and at least in my world, any mention of sex geeks brings to my mind a man I consider to be my personal patient zero, Reid Mihalko and as such, we interviewed him twice, once for his origin story and once for his thoughts on handling imbalances in developing relationships We also have a new and …hopefully recurring segment we’ll call Storytime with Kat and in this particular story telling session Kat …you know I’m not going to ruin it. It’s sexy. Trust me. We’ll close down the club with version two of the “Is there a Secret Handshake? – Navigating Alternative Lifestyles” panel broadcast live at CatalystCon West 2015! Segment 1 Reid Mihalko is quite literally a man of action. Luckily Mr. Pent was a man with a plan and while attending CatalystCon West 2015 he initiated a catch and release program so Reid would tell us about the origins of him as America’s Favorite Sex Geek.   Segment 2 Reid runs a Sex Geek summer camp called… Sex Geek Summer Camp and Michelle Renee pitched her personal tent long enough to invite Reid in to tell us how he’d handle imbalances in relating to new partners.   Reid Mihalko, America’s Favorite Sex Geek wants you to be the change you want to see in the bedroom. You can find him on twitter and facebook and on the web at reidaboutsex.com. If you’re a sex educator or sex positive professional and interested in building your business go to sexgeeksummercamp.com and consider signing up! Reid also wants to help you transform your relationships, you can find his video training series at relationship10x.com. My good friend Mr. Pent is kinky and “hella” non-monogamous and you can find him on twitter at @mr_pent and find his blog at www.mrpent.com and listen to him speak at CatalystCon a little later today. You can find Michelle Renee’s writing at SexAfterMarriage.org and on twitter @TheTrojanKitten     Segment 3 Today, I become a fan of a new storytelling segment, “Storytime with Kat” and… I’m going to let her tell you what it’s all about. It’s … hot.     Segment 4 Many people are drawn to alternative lifestyles such as BDSM, polyamory, and swinging, because they are seeking to explore a different side of themselves. As part of the learning process, people often feel that it is important to find a community to help educate them on their new lifestyle journey. For some, seeking out a community for education and camaraderie can be the most difficult part of the journey. At times, it may feel as though you have joined a club, but never learned the secret handshake. Dirty Lola, Andrea Renae, Rebecca Hiles and Mr. Pent share ways to find your place within the alternative community that meshes with your needs and desire and they’ll do so by covering topics ranging from appropriate lifestyle etiquette and finding a community, to negotiation and safety.   Rebecca Hiles aka The Frisky Fairy is a sex educator and dating coach out of the DC Region and you can find her everywhere, twitter, tumblr, etc… @TheFriskyFairy. Andrea Renae is a sexuality educator and coach working in the kink and polyamory communities. You can find her at www.andrearenae.net and at sexedventures.com on twitter at @theandrearenae. She also works with the Sexuality in Communities Oral History Project based out of Philadelphia which you can find at www.scohp.org. Dirty Lola is SELECTIVELY down to fuck, you can find her at dirtylola69.tumblr.com, on twitter as @DirtyLola, and find her podcast, Sex Ed A-Go-Go here on the Swingset network at swingset.fm/sexedagogo     So… no excuses. I do what I can because I must, but I stress the “do what I can part”. No more broken commitments, no more aspirational goals to put out a certain amount of episodes in a well defined amount of time! I would love to do this more but for now, I’ll do it as much as I can. Until we put out a daily podcast you can find more Gentleperverts podcasts every few weeks on Friday at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics on the site or by pinging us on twitter at #GPSC or @GentlePerverts. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on twitter, Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife as DylanTheThomas and you can support me and the club at patreon.com/dylanthethomas. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that to dylan@lifeontheswingset.com. Stay curious, you’ll never get shade from us. Come back soon.   Title: Draper – On You (feat. Alby Hobbs) Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aQfdExvHpc iTunes Download Link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/on-you-feat.-alby-hobbs-single/id1021355800   Title: Pegboard Nerds – Swamp Thing Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDiJiGuUeBo iTunes Download Link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/swamp-thing-single/id1005092248   Title: Televisor – Deluxe (Duskus Remix) Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AOC-plc34M iTunes Download Link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/venture-the-remixes-ep/id1033246945   Title: Varien – Supercell (feat. Veela) Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x9LYic45Jw iTunes Download Link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-ancient-arcane/id1020790718

Welcome back Perverts! So I’ve settled on twice a month instead of every two weeks. DEAL WITH IT. If you want more, contribute more! Put me out of podcast word talking business! Ignore my reality and substitute your own by sending your thoughts, your clips, your, to quote Donald Trump, your whatever, to dylan@lifeontheswingset.com and we’ll talk. So. I’m calling this week’s show, “heavy”. We’ll discuss sexual assault victims and why we have a hard time believing them, discuss chaining shame spells together after blowing off a date, and if you continue to listen after the end credits you’ll get a special “This Week in Cats” that was totally not planned… but sometimes you apparently just have to talk about cats. Segment 1: Blowing Off a Date I had a haughty taughty monocled discussion topic ready for Mr. Pent, The Frisky Fairy, Dirty Lola, and Andrea Renae to discuss about intent. They substituted my reality for their own and, while they eventually mozied onto why not meaning to hurt people but still doing so is the same to some as purposefully hurting people, they start by discussing the implications of blowing off a date. Dirty Lola is SELECTIVELY down to fuck, you can find her at dirtylola69.tumblr.com, on twitter as @DirtyLola, and find her podcast, Sex Ed A-Go-Go here on the Swingset network at swingset.fm/sexedagogo Andrea Renae is a sexuality educator and coach working in the kink and polyamory communities. You can find her at www.andrearenae.net and at sexedventures.com on twitter at @theandrearenae. She also works with the Sexuality in Communities Oral History Project based out of Philadelphia which you can find at www.scohp.org. Mr. Pent is a poly, kinky, and swing…y? He’s also my good friend, and you can find him on twitter at @mr_pent and find his blog at www.mrpent.com. Rebecca Hiles aka The Frisky Fairy is a sex educator and dating coach out of the DC Region and you can find her everywhere, twitter, tumblr, etc… @TheFriskyFairy.       Segment 2: Why is it so hard to believe sexual assault victims? Without mentioning Bill Cosby any more than necessary… New York Magazine’s cover article, “I’m No Longer Afraid” exposed in a very visual and visceral way the gulf between the rights of the accuser, and the rights of the accused. #theemptychair, started by Elon James White of This Week in Blackness, gave women a place to express their assault stories and explain why they didn’t speak up and it got me wondering why otherwise decent people treat sexual assault victims the same way we usually treat criminals, and in the process… got me thinking about just how some people go about acquiring sex. There’s a wide path we take to getting there but stick with Samantha Frasier, Katie Mack and myself as we deconstruct what the hell is going on. Samantha Frasier is a life coach, polyamory advocate, consultant and executive producer of the Playground conference taking place November 13-15 2015 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. You can find her @nympsam and at samanthafraser.com. Katie Mack is a blogger, a toy reviewer, co-host of Carnalcopia and an all-around wonderful and insightful human being. You can find her on Twitter @ThatKatieMack and find Carnalcopia at http://www.thecarnalcopia.com.     Also apparently 11-35 of the Illinois Criminal code reads: Sec. 11-35. Adultery. (a) A person commits adultery when he or she has sexual intercourse with another not his or her spouse, if the behavior is open and notorious, and (1) The person is married and knows the other person involved in such intercourse is not his spouse; or (2) The person is not married and knows that the other person involved in such intercourse is married. A person shall be exempt from prosecution under this Section if his liability is based solely on evidence he has given in order to comply with the requirements of Section 4-1.7 of “The Illinois Public Aid Code”, approved April 11, 1967, as amended. (b) Sentence. Adultery is a Class A misdemeanor. … oh dear. You can find more Gentleperverts podcasts every month at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics at reddit.com/r/swingsetfm or on twitter at #GPSC and @GentlePerverts. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on twitter, Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife as DylanTheThomas. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that to dylan@lifeontheswingset.com.   Hyper Potions & Subtact – Adventures Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKZUhs9Gcdo Beatport Download Link: https://pro.beatport.com/release/adventures/1549977   Title: Rezonate – Lonely (feat. Bijou) Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyWfjEa2fw8 Beatport Download Link: http://www.beatport.com/release/lonely/1154841

Welcome Back Perverts! There’s been a whirlwind of activity around here and personally I’m damn excited about what we’ve got for you. Today’s show is in five parts; Ginger and the Professor visit a bar with an on-location Intellectual Foreplay to discuss ways of addressing labels and norms within groups, Michelle Renee arranges an Independence Day Orgy, we feature a clip from This Week in Blackness Prime episode 681 addressing feminism…with a sprinkle of anti, a dash of transexclusionary, a smidge of white women, and a heaping fucking bowl of black erasure, Lisa Laureta stops by and gathers the club around for a reading of her book, “But You’re Just A Hole!”, …and I relay my thoughts on why I keep writing checks I can’t cash.   Segment 1: Intellectual Foreplay: On Labels… Ginger and the Professor head out to a bar with a couple friends… no there’s no joke here. They head out to a bar, and over the dizzying amount of background music they somehow manage to discuss how labels are important, how people don’t necessarily match their labels, and how looking at labels inductively and deductively can help with a little insight on how to understand people using those labels better. Ginger Bentham is August 2015’s spirit animal of the month. You can find her writing at http://www.lifeontheswingset.com/author/ginger and at gingerntheprof.blogspot.com. She’s a co-host of Life on the Swingset, and along with The Professor, is building Intellectual Foreplay to a crescendo, an explosive September 2nd release of sapiosexual energy we’ve clearly been thirsty for for years. Make sure to visit IntellectualForeplay.com on September 2nd for the Intellectual Foreplay inaugural release!   Segment 2: The Independence Day Orgy Michelle Renee does good things. That’s what I’m learning here. She also apparently knows how to throw one hell of a fourth of july celebration so… I’m going to let her tell the story of how she arranged, “The Independence Day Orgy”. You can find Michelle Renee’s writing at SexAfterMarriage.org and on twitter @TheTrojanKitten.   Segment 3: This Week in Blackness: Feminism… plus some pronouns. We often begin addressing problems by forcing people to stop ignoring those problems. We get loud, we get annoying, we protest, we break stuff, and eventually that problem is acknowledged, accepted as fact, and with effort, time, and persistence… it’s addressed. When the root of the problem goes beyond ignoring the problem, when it involves not even accepting that someone exists and that their existence is valid and worthy of respect it’s an even longer road. “We’re Here, We’re Queer, Get Used To It” wasn’t just a catchy chant, it was a real attempt to say, “we exist”. Women, people of color, and transpersons are often dismissed as being unequal participants in the human race, and a byproduct of that is that even within what we think of as an open and accepting space, community and movement… we find pockets of activists stuck denying people the right to exist as they see fit. This Week in Blackness episode 681 titled “White Lies, Black Truth” addressed feminism, anti-feminism, trans-exclusionary feminism (otherwise known as TERFs), white women feminism, and black erasure… hard in a response to a reaction to an Allure cover featuring Laverne Cox. It hit hard and I wanted to share it with all of you. Thank you to This Week in Blackness media for allowing me to play this segment for our little club. You can find episodes of This Week in Blackness Prime, and the rest of the TWiB network’s shows at TWiB.ME. You can also listen live, as they  air, at listen.twib.me. You can find Elon James White @elonjames, can find Imani Gandi at @angryblacklady, and find Aaron Rand Freeman at @ansfreeman. A Special thanks from me to Robyn Jordan who you can find at @robyn_ravenclaw.   Segment 4: But You’re Just A Hole! Hey Everyone! Gather ‘round and get comfortable because Lisa Laureta’s here to read us her story, “But You’re Just a Hole!” Lisa Laureta is a comedian who performs stand-up, storytelling, improve, and group and solo sketch comedy that’s been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Network, VH1, and on FunnyOrDie. You can find her, AND HER BOOK, at www.lisalaureta.com. You can find her on twitter @LisaLaureta.   Segment 5: Dylan Writes Checks he Can’t Cash. I’ve gone on before about my seemingly poor track record of time and desire management when it comes to women. I do a lot of good work, but I keep making the same mistakes. I did, apparently, have an epiphany while I was driving a week ago and … well I’d like to share it with you because. It sucks to write checks we can’t cash.   So Perverts, you’ve all spoken and I’ve listened. A Two Hour podcast, while … lets be generous, is ambitious… it’s just too hard to digest. I chose a monthly release schedule because I didn’t think I had it in me to do the nitty gritty of putting this all together more often but it’s clear… there’s a lot to talk about, there’s a lot to feature… and it should get put out there more often and in smaller chunks. So lets see how a bi-weekly release of about an hour long show goes and we’ll go from there, ok? Until next time, This was a recording taken from The Gentleperverts’ Social Club’s membership, all of us. You can find more Gentleperverts podcasts every month at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics at reddit.com/r/swingsetfm or on twitter at #GPSC and @GentlePerverts. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on twitter, Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife at DylanTheThomas. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that to dylan@lifeontheswingset.com because really… it’s been wonderful to feature stories and chats here so if you have any of that… send it on over. Thanks for stopping in, come back soon.     Music featured on this week’s Gentleperverts’ Social Club:   Kasbo – Kaleidoscope Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI-t2M0t63s Beatport Download Link: http://www.beatport.com/release/kaleidoscope/1374695 Label Channel: http://www.youtube.com/monstercat   Deon Custom – Roses Label Channel: http://www.youtube.com/monstercat   Rezonate – What We Want (feat. Aloma Steele) Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ifK1KHOTk0 Beatport Download Link: https://pro.beatport.com/release/rebirth-ep/1496981 Label Channel: http://www.youtube.com/monstercat

Greetings Perverts! Today we have a three part show! TheTrojanKitten finally gives into my wish and tells us her bad OKCupid Date I call, “Don’t start a date by telling someone you’re a pathological Liar”. Dirty Lola tells The Frisky Fairy and me her Sexual Superhero Origin Story, and I get some angst out about crossing the streams between Swing, Poly, and Kink social networks. Discuss any topics from this episode, or start a new conversation over at Reddit.com/r/SwingsetFM! Segment 1: Crossing the Streams between Swing, Poly, and Kink Dylan relays some angst about combining the swing, poly, and kink worlds at a single event, relaying his anxiety about showing off his “casual sex self” in front of people who usually see him in spaces with less raw sexual energy. Mr. Pent talks about bringing poly folk into kink spaces, especially when the perception is that ALL polyamorous people are into kink. Andrea mentions that swinger is a dirty word to some kink people, and that while they talk the talk, occasionally they don’t walk the walk. We realize that in each space and in each community, people negotiate things at their own space so that initial negotiation might not always go smooth. We then theorize about “in the dark” / “lights off” / “blind man’s bluff” parties. Dirty Lola is SELECTIVELY down to fuck, you can find her at dirtylola69.tumblr.com, on twitter as @DirtyLola, and find her podcast, Sex Ed A-Go-Go here on the Swingset network at swingset.fm/sexedagogo Andrea Renae is a sexuality educator and coach working in the kink and polyamory communities. You can find her at www.andrearenae.net and at sexedventures.com on twitter at @theandrearenae. She also works with the Sexuality in Communities Oral History Project based out of Philadelphia which you can find at www.scohp.com. Mr. Pent is a poly, kinky, and swing…y? He’s also my good friend, and you can find him on twitter at @mr_pent and find his blog at www.mrpent.com.   Segment 2: Michelle Renee and the bad OKCupid Date Michelle Renee tells us the story of her worst OKCupid date, admitting that a date that doesn’t go anywhere doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad date, but that any date that starts out with an admission that one of the people in the date is a pathological liar can’t go well, and that the word sarcasm doesn’t always means what you think it means. You can find Michelle Renee’s writing at SexAfterMarriage.org and @TheTrojanKitten.   Segment 3: The Origin Story of Dirty Lola Our New York Sexual Super Hero Dirty Lola tells us how she entered nonmonogamy, everything from flip and switch parties as teenagers to making out with random strangers on the train, to facing off with other couples in #nakedchicken and realizing that making out with the partner you came with is the gateway drug (and antidote) to #nakedchicken. “Excuse me sir… may I have this dance … with her pussy?” “I would like to tango … with your clit.” “I hate you.” “Why?” “…because I understand.” Rebecca Hiles aka The Frisky Fairy is a sex educator and dating coach out of the DC Region and you can find her everywhere, twitter, tumblr, etc… @TheFriskyFairy. She also has a book, Coming Out Poly, which you can find when it’s out at comingoutpoly.co! You can find Dylan Thomas on twitter @DylanTheThomas, at dylan@lifeontheswingset.com, and at www.gentleperverts.com. Dylan’s Origin Story on Lifeontheswingset.com

Today we have five opportunities for you to sit down at the social club, relax, listen… and possibly disagree about every damn thing you year, but that’s ok. We’ll start out with a discussion about Bisexual visibility, what it means to be queer, men losing their agency, and writing rules… because boobs. You can safely assume it’s from mens’ perspectives, specifically, Cooper S. Beckett’s and mine, We’ll take a journey through pussy shame and into pussy confidence with Michelle Renee, We’ll enjoy a bit of wine and cheese during a pre-date chat with Ginger and The Professor, We’ll visit a live Chicago based sex-positive variety show, Menage A Hah, and listen to Cooper tell us How to Hide a Sex Swing, … and we’ll listen to me draw a line in the sand on swinger complicity. Discuss anything we talked about at the social club on Reddit at http://redd.it/38nu9l! Segment 1: Bisexual Visibility, Queer, Men Losing their Agency, and Writing Rules… because boobs. I remembered a conversation from a while ago with my friend and co-host Cooper Beckett about his choice to strongly identify publicly as bisexual male but not necessarily queer. Those terms not being mutually exclusive, I wanted to dig a little more into where the passion about bisexual visibility came from. We ended up having a pretty open conversation about what we understood queer to be (and what we didn’t understand), how unapproachable and understood it is to most of the rest of the world, and how visibility and normalization in general really moves people. We ended up exploring why bisexual men are so scary to straight men in the swinging lifestyle and following the thread all the way into men being just as theoretically vulnerable as women are vulnerable every day. We touched on outdated consent protocol at some swinger spaces but recognized that there’s a universal acceptance that everyone is still responsible for protecting everyone in those spaces. We moved into flipping the script and power dynamics in swinging and why even that doesn’t make it all ok. …then we talk about boobs, and about setting rules to avoid making long term commitments to said boobs without really figuring out whether we… ok I like the person who owns said boobs. I spoke with Cooper S. Beckett, you can find him on twitter @CooperSBeckett and at lifeontheswingset.com/author/cooper and at a little known sister podcast of ours called Life on the Swingset. He also podcasts about Twin Peaks on A Damn Good Podcast and about Hannibal on Eat the Rudecast.     Segment 2: Pussy Confidence with Michelle Renee from SexAfterMarriage.org Lack of pussy confidence used to get in the way of Michelle Renee really letting go and enjoying her experiences, she’s here how to talk about how changing how she looked at her pussy changed her life. Also #vulvashots You can find Michelle Renee’s writing at SexAfterMarriage.org and on twitter @TheTrojanKitten.       Segment 3: Intellectual Foreplay: Cheeseplate Date Anticipation and Orgy 101 Signals Ginger and the Professor decide to turn the recorder on while on the way to a multiple couple cheeseplate date and work themselves up about past experiences, future possibilities, and signals between each other and other couples. Mind reading apparently is not social lubricant. Also, the stand-in for the hot tub as the determining factor in them closing their recording session down is a battery alarm. Oh ginger… oh The Professor… J Ginger Bentham is a podcast co-host and a long time writer, both published and virtual. You can find her writing at lifeontheswingset.com/author/ginger and at gingerntheprof.blogspot.com. you can hear her every week on Life on the Swingset at www.lifeontheswingset.com. You can find her and the Professor on Twitter @GingerBentham   Segment 4: How to Hide a Sex Swing Live at Menage-a-Hah So a couple months ago a friend of mine asked, “Hey… are you going to the show later this week?” I asked what show and they told me about a monthly sex-positive variety show featuring comedy, song, burlesque, stories, games, and that it was right up my alley. So I went and to my surprise, Coop and the gang were there! I’d stumbled on him telling us about his first prostate orgasm. Since none of us had a recorder out I rightly scolded him and told him to DO BETTER. So he did. He stood up in front of that live and very lively audience and the wonderful Mary Zee and Eric Barry to tell us about How to Hide a Sex Swing.   Since I already told you where to find Cooper earlier, you can find information on Menage-a-Hah’s upcoming shows at facebook.com/menageahah and at @menageahah on twitter.     Segment 5: Addressing Swinger Complicity Every so often I have to grab a soapbox and talk at people. Why? Well… I do a lot of trying to pull people together, showing everyone we all have common ground and that even if we’re building different trails into getting what we all want… they’re all eventually leading to the same camp. Except for when they don’t. I address a letter I received regarding an episode of Life on the Swingset I recorded in March immediately after the Religious Freedom Restoration Act passed in Indiana… and I call out myself for not hitting the right balance of acknowledging we all have roles to play in pushing progress… but that silence is very clearly complicity. You can find me at www.dylanthethomas.com and @dylanthethomas.

Tonight, the social club hosts a discussion on consensual objectification vs. tokenization, a story that left the storyteller wondering, “Is he going to kill me, and is he at least going to get me off first?”, an intimate hot-tub side chat about NRE, Passion, and love for our existing partners and how they aren’t mutually exclusive, and a panel from CatalystCon East about navigating alternative lifestyles. Head over to Reddit at http://redd.it/34e3wd to discuss topics from this episode! Segment 1: Consensual Objectification vs. Tokenization Dirty Lola, Katie Mack, Boris and Dylan got together to explore the dichotomy between consensually objectifying someone and tokenizing / objectifying people when being sexually open. Bro’ing up and bragging about popping that pussy and hunting for a certain color pussy end up being problematic while writing anonymously about our sex lives and prospecting for volunteers to spitroast our wives end up being ok; it’s all about intent, consent, respect and being willing to accept yesses as enthusiastically as accepting nos. Dirty Lola is SELECTIVELY down to fuck, you can find her at dirtylola69.tumblr.com, on twitter as @DirtyLola, and find her podcast, Sex Ed A-Go-Go here on the Swingset network at swingset.fm/sexedagogo Boris is a swinger, kinky as hell, an ex-podcast host and a maker of some wonderful custom metal toys. You can find him and his work at facebook.com/BnDStainless Katie Mack is a blogger, a toy reviewer, co-host of Carnalcopia and an all around wonderful and insightful human being. You can find her on Twitter @ThatKatieMack and find Carnalcopia at www.thecarnalcopia.com and here on the Swingset network at swingset.fm/carnalcopia   Segment 2: Is he going to kill me, and is he at least going to get me off first? Michelle Renee from SexAfterMarriage.org, A Real Woman's Exploration of Her Sexuality, tells us a story about a date with a stranger she calls Kinky Jim and a first bdsm experience that made her wonder Is he going to kill me, and is he at least going to get me off first?   Segment 3: Intellectual Foreplay: NRE, Passion, and our Existing Partners Ginger Bentham and The Professor sit in their hot tub and discuss NRE and passion for new partners v. passion for your existing partners / your life partners, they aren’t mutually exclusive. Sharing passion for new lovers sparks passion for each other and everyone can take pleasure when one takes pleasure. Ginger Bentham is a podcast co-host and a long time writer, both published and virtual. You can find her writing at lifeontheswingset.com/author/ginger and at gingerntheprof.blogspot.com. you can hear her every week on Life on the Swingset at www.lifeontheswingset.com. You can find her and the Professor on Twitter @GingerBentham   Segment 4: Is There a Secret Handshake? Navigating Alternative Lifestyles Many people are drawn to alternative lifestyles such as BDSM, polyamory, and swinging, because they are seeking to explore a different side of themselves. As part of the learning process, people often feel that it is important to find a community to help educate them on their new lifestyle journey. For some, seeking out a community for education and camaraderie can be the most difficult part of the journey. At times, it may feel as though you have joined a club, but never learned the secret handshake. In this session, we will share ways to find your place within the alternative community that meshes with your needs and desire. This panel will cover topics ranging from appropriate lifestyle etiquette and finding a community, to negotiation and safety! Andrea Renae is a sexuality educator and coach working in the kink and polyamory communities. You can find her at www.andrearenae.net and at sexedventures.com on twitter at @theandrearenae. She also works with the Sexuality in Communities Oral History Project based out of Philadelphia which you can find at www.scohp.org. Rebecca Hiles aka The Frisky Fairy is a sex educator and dating coach out of the DC Region and you can find her everywhere, twitter, tumblr, etc… @TheFriskyFairy. She also has a book, Coming Out Poly, which you can find when it’s out at comingoutpoly.co! We heard from Dirty Lola earlier but you can still find her on twitter @DirtyLola You can search Twitter for #cconsecret to see all the awesome audience members’ tweets from the panel!     I may not have hacked the Gibson over at Life on the Swingset this month, but I did settle on a regular release day: The last Thursday of every month, and a consistent format: Two hours of whatever the hell we all want to hear. That means everything here is a recording taken from The Gentleperverts’ Social Club’s membership, all of us. You can find more Gentleperverts podcasts every month at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics at reddit.com/r/swingsetfm or on twitter at #GPSC and @GentlePerverts. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on twitter, Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that to dylan@lifeontheswingset.com. Thanks for stopping in, come back soon.

We talk with the Frisky Fairy (friskyfairy.com) and Katie Mack (thecarnalcopia.com) about gaming naked, OKCupid, queer ninjas, confessions, fetlife connections and near misses,  bottoms and misnomers, rectifying your kinks with your activism (frothing, rabid feminist v. being into daddy/little girl, age play, submissive / not being equal) and about gender politics getting in the way of our enjoyment of kink.     We then hear a story from Ophilia Tesla (thekinkygeeks.com) about The Man of Inaction. I talk with Mr. Pent (mrpent.com) about losing my father and during the process, coming out to my mother while avoiding getting cornered by family expectations. Head over to Reddit at http://redd.it/34dchk to discuss topics from this episode!