Created with Sketch.
The Drink Tank
122 minutes | Oct 20, 2021
Holy crap can I talk. Well it helps that parker is equally as good at interrupting but this episode is mostly me trying to get a bad story out. It is long winded and clearly has no point. So sorry about that. The end result is that health care is garbage. There I just saved you two hours. If you are a torturer or police warden then put this shit on loop and I just did your job for you. I accept soup labels and bottle caps as payment.
114 minutes | Oct 11, 2021
I am much less creative when I am sober. This may lead to a worse podcast or a better one. I don't know but it most definitely will lead to a worse episode description. So... while we may have solved the issue with shoplifting and opened the door to a new world of clothing purchasing we also scoff at the direction that styles are going. Either way not much different this week other than parker cut it short... so BOO THAT MAN
136 minutes | Oct 5, 2021
SoberOctober is the invention of dumb people with no self control who need an excuse to be interesting. That being said... I am participating. SO! we will be checking in all month with the progress of that bullshit. Outside of that everything else is boring. We try to innovate communication and prove how dumb we really are. At least we are not conspiracy nuts but we are certainly flirting with it...
122 minutes | Sep 28, 2021
Some people make poor decisions. Ok I lied. ALL people make poor decisions. Our poor decisions are far more hilarious and playful than everyone else's so that makes them more important. I think. Ok yeah I am pretty sure. But that is kind of our wheel house. Not knowing but pretending and just BEING more important. So tune in. Cause we help you pass the time. Which is all anyone is really looking for in this world.
146 minutes | Sep 23, 2021
We slow down our high paced lives to dive into some more philosophical ideas. It wasn't on purpose but sometimes there just isn't a lot going on and you have to fall back on the basics. So our basics is life in general. What is going on and how do you view it. It is the fundamental things that truly define us. So this may be the most defining episode of all. I hope not though cause I like to think we are more exciting than just the core aspects of life. Oh well it is what it is deal with it.
158 minutes | Sep 16, 2021
This was a fun one. It has comedy, it has introspection, it has drama maybe, and it has the best accidental long term twist at the end. If you listen for nothing else the end twist that effects the entirety of our podcast is worth the listen. Outside of that if you want to live your life like parker and I do then this is the most convoluted means by which to do so. We, through an inebriation filter, try to describe the pillars that build our lives and fail spectacularly at doing so... or maybe not... i am drunk what do I know. All I know is that at the end of the day I was more right than parker and I will forever hold that against him. So climb aboard our debauchery train and try to keep up...
134 minutes | Sep 12, 2021
Football is a hell of a drug. Nothing is worse than being shitfaced at noon. As a Seahawks fan I am willing to make sacrifices. The only real issue is that it really ruins the rest of your day... unless, that is, the rest of your day consists of drinking and recording your dumb ideas about child rearing and life in general. So GO HAWKS! and GO ALCOHOL! we have some pickled points of view but all of our ideas are covid free cause alcohol kills germs? Ok we can't guarantee anything but we are wasted... so... whateves
138 minutes | Sep 8, 2021
Aight well we got into one today. It started off light hearted and fun but lets be honest in this day and age there is no way to completely avoid covid BS. So that happened. Ill be honest. completely parkers fault. I take no semblance of blame. Honestly whenever there is a situation that is ruined it is cause of parker. So Listen to the first half. Which is my fault. Then listen to the back half which is parkers fault and you tell me which one of us is worth it. So get on the parker hate bandwagon cause it warm and fun and exciting up in this bitch.
126 minutes | Sep 3, 2021
We showed up so give us a trophy...
148 minutes | Aug 18, 2021
Sometimes life gives you lemons. Sometimes life gives you a series of events that all culminate in disaster or sheer unadulterated awkwardness. This is either the beginning of a series of events or the culmination... Only time will tell. In the mean time you might as well kick back and experience (cause i refuse to believe you enjoy) this episode.
154 minutes | Aug 13, 2021
Everyone knows that one HR nightmare at work. But what if everyone one was the HR nightmare guy? Then the one "normal" person would be HR nightmare. That is pretty much how this episode goes. We shit on the normal guy cause we don't know any different. So get on the bandwagon and spend a but bit being the HR nightmare. No HR employee was harmed in the making of this podcast.
137 minutes | Aug 2, 2021
Some gritty reboots are good like Batman. Other gritty reboots are terrible like Batman. This is our terrible gritty reboot. Now when I mean reboot I guess I mean I don't really support what we say and I am not sure why we say the things we do but it happened and I sometimes you just have to say things to get a conversation going. At the end of the day we are drunk assholes and if you have not picked that up by now that is on you...
138 minutes | Jul 28, 2021
Ok guys this one is on me. You can blame the drinking all you want but I assure you this is more about sheer unadulterated laziness than anything. Sure the alcohol doesn't help but neither does verbally abusing a child and I turned out fine... just lazy. So my point is that I neglected to post and now I am looking at the title and drawing the hardest of blanks. So this one is a grab bag. Listen, don't listen, I could care less. But listen. Cause you aint got nothing better to do.
147 minutes | Jul 16, 2021
Oh jeez man this episode. This fucking episode is all that and a bag of acid laced butt plugs. You are going to have a time. Maybe not good maybe not bad but 100% a time. Dicks butts and a new way to bond with your buddies that doesn't cause lower abdominal pain and inability to birth children 10 years later. We really open it up on this one. Maybe our awesomeness is contagious... maybe it is too soon to talk about contagious things... I don't know. But there is no downside!!! you are going to lose brains cells either way.
131 minutes | Jul 13, 2021
Thomas the tank engine is a bitch. You know it I know it and the youth of America knows it. How that piece of shit stays on air and continues to have viewers is beyond me. He wasn't the engine that could.. he was the engine that was available. He is clearly the white privilege of trains. Kids are dumb and their connection to trains is proof of it. So jump on the rainbow connection and conduct yourself appropriately cause we are going hard on some childish shit. We are ahead of the offensive swing.
125 minutes | Jun 30, 2021
Surviving a heat wave and still delivering subpar entertainment is a skill that needs to be part of the Olympics. We stayed cool and presented our hot takes like we were genetically predisposed. If the heat got you down and you are imprisoned by the radius of your A/C unit then tune in to our latest batch of debaucherous BS. The temperature may have stabilized but we are still very clearly unstable.
133 minutes | Jun 24, 2021
Its is weird that men have almost no knowledge about dicks. Like you know your own dick but likely very little other information. Sure porn is a general source of dick knowledge but it is heavily skewed. Dicks in real life are WAY bigger. The same may be true with women and vaginas but they are more open with their friends maybe... I don't know in my head women are naked whenever they are out of my view and never the other way around. Anyway... be more open with your sexuality and organs. Ask your neighbor about their foreskin. Ask your teacher about their labia... Lets not make this so weird.
157 minutes | Jun 15, 2021
A wise man once said that it is always best to get life advice from two drunk idiots who can barely live their own lives. So if you want to get healthy and become the best you listen to us. We may know what SHOULD be done even if we don't follow our own ideas. It is much easier to give orders than take them. SO DO WHAT WE SAY AND LISTEN TO OUR EVERY WORD!
138 minutes | Jun 9, 2021
Oh yeah. We doing this. We are talking and drinking and you are laughing and driving. We are all in heaven. These are the best times of our lives!!! Which means its all downhill from here. But don't run it is terribly dangerous unless you are very nimble or athletic. But you arn't. Don't lie. So put some headphones on and keep listening butt move your ass a little bit. Sweat it up baby.
140 minutes | May 31, 2021
If you were given the opportunity to colonize another planet would you? There are barren planets out there just waiting for your DNA and now, or at least when i am done formulating my plan for a company, is the best time to give those planets the things they need to start life. For 10 easy payments of $69.69 you too could colonize a planet. Maybe. No promises are made for the success of the colonization but you DNA could tilt the scale. Or not. Again no promises. Just a possibility but for that price you would be missing out to not try. So... Money shot into the great expanse and I don't mean your mother. Space the final frontier or is it the beginning of a grand empire of your dick paste. Find out but pay us to do so... and also you will die before anything pans out...
Terms of Service
Do Not Sell My Personal Information
© Stitcher 2021