Listen Now

We’re revisiting the topic of masochism this week to discuss our current, ever-evolving relationships to pain, and our fave mental techniques for getting through intense masochistic scenes! Hurts So Good | Relationship to Pain | Self-Care vs. Self-Harm | Hopelessness | Chronic Pain | Rhythmic vs. Random | Stingy vs. Thuddy | Distractions | Practice & Processing | Easy Mode vs. Hard Mode | What is a Masochist? | Inflicting or Receiving | CBT

Happy 4/20, y’all! One again this year, as is tradition, we’re getting high and asking each other silly sex questions. Enjoy! Two Strains | Last Prisoner Project | Outsourcing to Our Partners | Fleshlight | Common Misconceptions | Body-Swap | Animal Noises | Combo Sex Toy | Sex Room | Vanilla Partner | VR Sex | Trade Sex Lives

This week we’re continuing our discussion of limits in kink! Can limits be a fetish? Can limits be toxic? Can limits be gently and safely pushed? That’s Not My Name | Safely Pushing Limits | Can Limits Be Unreasonable? | Mixing Up Partners | Can Limits Be a Kink? | Can Boundary-Pushers Be Reformed?

Your limits are valid! This week we’re talking about hard and soft limits in the realms of sex and kink: what they are, why they’re important, and how to set them clearly and kindly. “No Limits” | Boundary-Setting | Hard vs. Soft Limits | Gagging & Breath Play | Journal-Reading | How to Know | Feeling Guilty | Imbalance | Hard Limit vs. Need | Setting New Limits | Not a Limit Anymore | Complicating Factors

What will dating be like after COVID? This week, we’re discussing how (and whether) to re-enter the dating scene after the pandemic. Tinder Plus | Single-Serving Friends | Twitter as Hallway | In Person vs. Texting | Pre-Pandemic Dating Life | Flirty Energy | Atrophied Social Skills | Gender Differences | Looking Forward | Casual vs. Serious | Higher Standards | Finding the Energy | Date Ideas

This week we’re doing a deep dive on medical play! We talk about why we’re into it, what it can look like, and the various tropes and pitfalls associated with it. Vaccinations | Definition | Mad Scientists | When In Rome | A Higher Purpose | “Female Hysteria” | Bored/Tired Doctors | Structure | Calming Follow-Through | Real-Life Experiences | No Props | Condescension | Doctor’s Arousal | Speculums | Hypnosis | Eroticizing Access Needs

This week Kate is chatting with the Bearded Scotsman, a creator of erotic audio and ASMR files. We discussed consent, chivalry, “Tumblr doms,” and much more! Getting Into Erotic Audio | Reactions | Immersiveness & Helpfulness | Consent in Media | Tumblr Doms | Safety & Nurturing | Gender Dynamics | Inclusivity | Sexy Voice | Vikings & Victorians | Is Chivalry Dead? | Cringing | Self-Image | Scripted vs. Not | Dirty Talk | Putting In the Work

Relationships between metamours can be tricky, so this week we’re discussing the do’s and don’ts of connecting with your partner’s partner! Definition | Expectations vs. Reality | Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell | Triad Dynamics | Motorcycle Story | The First Meeting | Jealousy & Inadequacy | Sharing Personal Info | Dating a Partner’s Ex | Maintaining a Friendship | Re-Establishing Trust

This week we’re answering more questions about the duration of sex: how to deal when it goes on too long, how to ask for a round two, and more! Sad Cunnilingus | Meditative Headspace | Round Two | Help Them Finish | Kinkifying It | Overstimulation | Novelty Wearing Off | Reassurance | The Purpose of Sex

A lot of people worry that the sex they have is “too short” or “too long,” so this week we’re answering some listener questions about the duration of sex! Misconceptions | PIV vs. Sex | Making Accommodations | When Sex Begins | Quickies | Increasing Stamina | “Normal” Stamina | Time of Day | Wandering Mind

This week, we’re discussing some of the intricacies of group sex – a type of encounter we’ll hopefully be able to have again someday, post-pandemic! Friendship Threesomes | Orgies vs. Play Parties | Chickening Out | Transcendence | Fantasy vs. Reality | Anxiety vs. Relaxation | Zoom Orgies | Structure & Spotlight | Self-Judgment | Negotiating | Hosting a Party | Sensory Issues | Too Big? | Checking In | Consent | Pulling Out

Happy Valentine’s week! In this episode we answer some listener questions about celebrating Valentine’s Day. Love is Art Kit | Clone-a-Willy | Long-Distance Celebrations | Polyamorous Planning | Does V-Day Matter? | Queerifying V-Day | V-Day Ideas For Kinksters | Bad Dates | Early Gifting | Fifth Wheel | Newly Out as Trans

This week we’re talking to Eva Bloom – a sex educator, YouTuber, and author – about sexting, casual sex, desire during a pandemic, and more! Benefits of Sexting | Sexting w/ Cis Men | Walking Out | Masters Thesis | Spicy Flirting | Communication Improvements | Initiating Sexting | Compassionate Casual Sex | Queering the Straight Hookup | Setting Expectations | Filtering Potential Partners | Slut for Kindness | A Compassionate Guide to Sexuality and COVID-19 | Self-Comparison | Dual-Control Model | Casual Kink | Compassionate Casual Sex Virtual Workshop | Sex & COVID-19 Virtual Workshop

As we near the end of our twenties, we’re discussing how the aging process has affected our sexualities thus far, and how we envision our sex lives transforming far into the future! Feeling Like an Adult | Dysphoria & Aging | Queer Temporality | Women Aging | Are All Hot People Good at Sex? | Human vs. Trophy | “The Best Years of Your Life” | Spirituality & Magic | Age Play | Reclaiming Juvenility | Orgasm Difficulties | Testosterone | “Work” Orgasms | Utilitarian vs. Performative Sex | Disability | Acrobatic Positions | Community Connections | Sensual Pleasures

While our show is mostly about sex, it’s not the only type of intimacy that matters! This week we’re discussing how emotional and physical closeness play out in purely platonic friendships. Pandemic Anxiety | National Hugging Day | Intimacy & Trust | Intimacy vs. Touch | Gender & Friendship | Parental Influences | Saying No | Managing Expectations | Establishing Intent | When Feelings Develop | Jealousy | Queerplatonic Relationships | Touch Aversion

What happens when your long-distance relationship isn’t long-distance anymore? This week we’re talking about the adjustments and changes that occur when this happens! Long-Distance Marriage | Introversion | Magical Vacation Time | Excitement | Communication Shifts | Phone Sex & Sexting | Family & Friends | LDR Skills | It’s Gonna Be Weird | Readjustment

Since many of us are stuck at home right now, this week we’re chatting about household service tasks in D/s dynamics! Distance No More | Meal Planning | Does It Feel Kinky? | Dommy vs. Subby Service | Laundry | Executive Dysfunction | Gender Affirmation | (Dis)Ability | Hate Housework | Compliments & Rewards | Self-Efficacy | Task vs. Favor | “Slacking Off”

So long, 2020! This week, we’re reflecting on how this hellish year affected our sex lives, what salacious goals we did and didn’t achieve, and what we hope to do in 2021. Holidays with Family | Pandemic Stress & Coping Mechanisms | Switching | Tickling | Rope Bondage | Chastity | Financial Domination | Cuckolding | Bratty Dominance | CBT | Blowjobs | Parties & Cons | Toys | Glitter Tops BDSM Gear | Best Sex | Last Year’s Goals | Next Year’s Goals | Chastity Photoshoot

This week, we’re celebrating Global Orgasm Day by answering some of your questions about orgasms! What Orgasms? | Global Orgasm Day | Strap-On Orgasms | Weaker w/ Partners | Sadness About PIV | Squirting vs. Orgasm | Cis Guy Squirting | Squirting Science | Sex Isn’t Over | Don’t Like Orgasms

The gifting season is upon us! This week we’re discussing what makes a great sexy gift, whether you’re trying to spoil a partner, a friend, or your favorite online sex worker. Gift-Related Panic | Love Languages | What Makes a Good Gift? | Usefulness vs. Frivolity | Surprise vs. Discussion | Dildo Size | Toxic Toys | Bottoms Buying for Tops | Sexy Gifts for Friends | Gifts for Online Sex Workers | Etsy Stores | Unicorn Collaborators | TwistedSyn | Lovecrafters Toys | SplitPeaches | SimplyElegantGlass | LVXSupply