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Andrew forgot that hot tea and hot quinoa in his already hot closet would make him even hotter, so he's mildly suffering from heat stroke in this one. Pair that with a book that's more vanilla than an enturtlenecked sexual encounter in the suburbs. Also we discover a conspiracy about the "author" that goes ALL THE WAY DOWN. Sharing My Gay Husband's Ass: Piano Lessons by "Hank" Wilder   @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This, our first episode recorded in 2018, is finally ready for your ears! We're back in the saddle, again (again), and ready to lull you off to creeped-outs-ville once more. Listen as we finally crack the mermaid anatomy dilemma, and figure out the punchline to, "What do you get when you cross a lady astronaut with a group of six telepathic fuck monkeys?"   Violated By Monsters: The Merman School by Hannah Wilde   @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I feel like every other episode I have to apologize for our terrible, terrible release schedule. I'm sorry. I truly am, I know it's bad, but we're here for you. We can nurture you in this time of need... Just trust in us. We'll keep you safe. Anyway, happy February, so in honor of this most auspicious of months, we're releasing our holiday bonus special. Hooray! Merry February! And a happy new year!   Darkness Inside Me: XXXMas with Krampus by Olivia Scott-Hill   @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sorry. We didn't mean to take 6 weeks off from this. We're TERRIBLY sorry. So sowwy :( We need a punishment... A nice big spanking to show how SOWWY WE IS. This book doesn't have any DD/LG or BDSM stuff so I don't know why the description does. Life is just full of little mysteries isn't it? Kissing the Pink by Brooklyn Reese @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ok so. Like. Give us a break on this one ok? We're really sorry, and promise that there's a possibility that it won't happen again. We spent most (not being hyperbolic there) of this episode talking about a certain British Baking Show. Is it related to the book Pole Star? Tangentially, if at all. But oh well. Check this pic of Paullywood if you DARE ooohhh spooookyyyyy.   Pole Star by Josephine Myles   @td3somepodcast     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We get REALLY nasty in this one. Please limit your consumption of all egg related products immediately before and after this one, because you legit might spew ur guts off. Don't say I didn't warn you. But anyway, this book was amazing, as you can probably tell, just from the title. Oops. Spoiler. Now you don't have to listen to the podcast I guess, since you know how we feel about it...   A Class Full Of Naked Boys(18) At College by Robbie Webb   @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We've got a doozy of a tingler for ya this time, I really hope you like it. We went a bit avant garde with our performance this week, so don't be surprised if you have to go back to your Elevator Vore Addicts Anonymous Support group crying this week, because the three of us did. :( Pounded By The Handsome Zombie Elevator Who Is Also A Lawyer by Chuck Tingle   @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Gang! Uploaded this one on time, technically! So suck it! And by it I mean the long, hard, arm of the law. This one's pretty fun, if you like minorities being taken advantage of by the prison industrial complex. What's that, you're saying you don't? Well. Neither do we. But the smut ain't half bad... I guess...   Parole Officer's Bitch by Yamila Abraham   @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sorry for the late upload, editing this one got away from me. But it's here now, so you can listen on SINday, which is probably when we'll be recording the next one, so it'll be a synergistic magical event, linking the 3 of us, and you, the listener, to us. Sexually. Or not, if that's not your thing. But it's our thing, very much so. Ok apparently someone donked up uploading it on Sunday. I give up. Just listen to it please. The Sexorcist (The Haunted Desperation Series #1) by Kiki Wellington   @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This one's dumb, again. Why can't they all be good about pixies fucking tentacle vampires?? We get into some heady topics, though, like whether or not Sam is actually able to hold a conversation without saying "Um So Yeah and Like" etc. Sorry to put you on blast, buddy, but I'm doubtful you even read these descriptions, I know I don't! Penetrated: Erotica for Women by Lucia Jordan   @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This one is fantastic. Both in the literal and figurative forms of that word, because it is set in a fantasy universe and it made us all very happy people to read. And now we're big big fans of Stix Hiscock (the Author's name... a pseudonym perhaps?) Join us, won't you? HALF-MAN HALF-HORSE, ALL LOVE by Stix Hiscock   @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey cum listen to our podcast about gross (and gross) violations of patient's rights! This one was pretty dumb AND bad, as one of the hosts would say, but it's still pretty funny, especially if you like hearing horribly confusing prose with *** breaks that don't make any kind of sense. The Doctor’s Touch (A Sizzling First Time HEA Romance) by Rachel Plumm @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Naaaaa Na Na Na. This is a good one, I think anyway. We're back after a long and mostly silent absence, sorry about that one, listeners. Come join us as we plumb the depths of our knowledge about Sam's extensive collection of semen-encrusted tapestries and whether nectar or ambrosia is the liquid. Moving Into Her… (A Steamy Story of Straying MFM) @td3somepodcast on twitter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We went back to the drawing board with this one. But a bunch of Navy Seals couldn't make this book worth reading, so we only read like a third of it. But we got basically the same amount of sex as the other books we read, so it's fine. Judge Grammar makes a somewhat tardy appearance, so his many MANY fans can stop constantly emailing us asking when he'd return.   Hot SEALs: Night with a SEAL by Cat Johnson   @td3somepodcast  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Due to some extenuating circumstances, we don't have a new episode for y'all this week. We're really sorry about it! Here's something to fill the void - the pilot episode of another podcast two of your titular hosts do, Sam and Maggie Hate Glee. If you like the show, please subscribe - it has its own RSS feed, so you can find it just like you found this one! We'll be back next week with more dirty dirty smutty smut! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

More Special Guests?? TD3some is BASICALLY the Simpsons, because we're just getting A-List celebs now, to talk about their secret lives as vampires and -- ooh I shouldn't have said that. Oh well, no one reads these descriptions anyways, right? RIGHT?? But this one is a return to form, reviews of a bad book (badly written as opposed to badly conceived, I guess) A Vampire's Weekend (Book #1) (Vampire Erotica) (A Vampire's Weekend Trilogy) by Sadie Koenig @td3somepodcast on twitter, tweet us your (books about) twats! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Warning: This one's mega gross again, there's some pretty non-consensual stuff happening so if you're listening to this one with children, try a different episode, like the one with a gang of women who pride themselves on popping the anal cherries of peeping toms-es.  Milked by Royalty Part 1: The Initiation @td3somepodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alright you ghosts, ghouls, and goblins out there, we're going back to something supernatural as opposed to superterrible like last week's book. A true return to form where we get to observe some supernatural gay shit going down in a mysteriously understaffed hotel. Also Andrew takes some phone calls. Wake-Up Call (Lesbian Ghost Hunters Book 1) by Merlyn Sloane on Amazon @td3somepodcast on twitter! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

DON'T SAY WE DIDN'T WARN YOU BUT some (all) of us on this one were very grossed out by this one. The vibe on this one is pretty upsetting so we'd understand if you surfed with the fast forward button. That being said, if you do listen to the whole episode you'll get to experience something truly upsetting just like we got to! And hear us try to be funny at it? Anything for Him 1 (Taboo Urban Erotica) by Katie Ayres @td3somepodcast on Twitter! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We did it, listeners, we finally found a "werewolf" book with actual, literal werewolves in it. And boy are they steamy, mus(t/k)y, and sexual. This was a very fun recording for 1/3 of us, being soaked in cold brew coffee and half asleep. Find our selection on Amazon here: Backwoods Be Ast - Claire Cray Follow us on twitter at @td3somepodcast and if you've got a spare second, shoot us a review on Stitcher or iTunes or whatever, it really helps! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.