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Podcasting five years, it’s been swell! But now we are saying farewell. Let’s talk about why We’re saying goodbye With many more stories to tell. A last parting gift, our ten jewels, Ten easy-to-memorize tools For living intentionally And unconventionally: They’re what we call our House Rules. Pace & Kyeli’s House Rules Resilience, Not Perfection How About Now? It’s Always OK to Ask; It’s Always OK to Say No Always Mumble Never Hurry Never Wait Just Keep Crying Grown-Ass Women Assume Love You Are Not Alone Don’t Be Creepy in the Bathroom WCML 004 – Living in an Instagrammed world WCML 068: Wild Crazy Meaningful Death, with Caitlin Doughty WCML 107: What Kelly learned from living with us for a year (and vice versa) Direct vs. subtle communication (aka ask culture vs. guess culture, low context vs. high context communication) WCML 070: Wild Crazy Meaningful Day Job We are selling our RV and moving to Portland. Here’s why. “Be a tube, not a bucket” WCML 051: Love Like You Don’t Share a Bathroom with Patty Newbold, assumelove.com Why I hate compassion Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you miss us, you can find every episode we’ve ever recorded at PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

Kyeli helps Pace deal with her attachment to other people being moved by her creation. Before my creation is hatched, I’m already hella attached. If nobody cares To sample my wares, My plan might as well stay unhatched. bitching vs. venting game jams Compass Rose September Safari Games The Usual Error Time & Again internal motivation vs. external motivation “How do I want to feel while working on this?” “How do I want to feel once I’ve released this into the world and nobody gives a shit?” Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

This applies to any fandom that strongly relates to its characters. Spoiler warning for Undertale. To choose a new topic at random, Consider the Undertale fandom. Some say they’re the best, Some say they’re obsessed, But we want to just understand ’em. What is Undertale? What is a fandom? Immersion, empathy, and fourth-wall-breaking in Undertale Ryukahr playing Undertale Is it important to respect the gender of fictional characters? Yes. Gendered Tetris SJWs The 2 reasons Undertale fans are perceived as annoying by outsiders Potterheads Steven Universe fans Coca-Cola fans Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

Why is our culture obsessed with believing in some dogma and sticking to it 100% obsessively? Why doesn’t 99% count for partial credit? Another fine myth to debunk: 100 percent or you flunk. Eat one bite of meat And you’re now obsolete, 99 percent’s basically junk. allergic to chocolate If you’re a Quaker, you don’t have to serve in the military. But if you “just” think it’s wrong to kill people, oh well, here’s your gun. “does not include essentially political, sociological, or philosophical views, or a merely personal moral code.” “I can’t go up or down steps” If everyone ate 50% less meat, that would be just as good for the planet as if 50% of people became vegetarian. But this all-or-nothing mentality discourages people from even trying. Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

You live, and you do, and you age. Why not go explore the backstage? What makes people tick? Is this safe to lick? Don’t go through the motions, engage! game like a designer observe without judgement ask why Myers-Briggs S vs. N everyday philosopher “I don’t know for sure, but here are my thoughts” Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

When you’re watching a kitten be cute But your camera’s not all set to shoot By the time that you’re ready The cat has already Moved on, and so you follow suit. So unless one is very astute It is hard to get proof absolute Of a cute little cat. So why does just that Doom weird shit into disrepute? Radical Wholeness, with Philip Shepherd pseudoskepticism physics envy: wanting softer sciences to be more like physics Kyeli’s 7th grade science story: “You stayed open and curious!” Persimmon Village Staying open and curious, and modeling it for others Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

Is it out of the question or sinful To live lives that are just uneventful? Can the phoenix be plucked, Or are we simply fucked? Can we just be at peace and contentful? “I don’t deserve happiness” comfort is outside my comfort zone a pattern of moving after trauma happens, moving to escape the pain shame around that Phoenix addiction motion vs. progress The Divine two-by-four Pace’s spiritual philosophy: “shit happens” The answer: Can we settle down and live lives that are comfortable and stop growing? No. If we stop growing, we will become unhappy. But can we settle down and live lives that are comfortable, and keep growing? Yes. Yes we can. Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

Philosophical geekery. No quantum mechanics. Liquids flow always downhill. Physics prohibits free will. But with complex machines Like computers or genes, There might be some wiggle room still… the dice-rolling machine “Any sufficiently complex system is indistinguishable from randomness.” -Paul Lagasse The Sims the butterfly effect the meaning of life How would you live your life differently if you knew your “free will” was fake? Heisenbugs software as ecosystem programmer becomes trainer, minder, friend, lover AI Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

We each have a certain number of spoons each day, some more than others. If your spoons are limited, you’ll have to learn how to manage them, and how to deal with people who don’t understand. Plundering hoards of doubloons, Gallivanting in saloons, Using willpower, Heck, taking a shower: These things can exhaust all your spoons. Curling up in warm cocoons, SGDQ afternoons, Taking it slow, Or just saying no: These things can conserve precious spoons. what is a spoon? spoon denial invisible spoonometer stair blindness Spoonie Killjoy “No one likes a spoonie” you are not alone Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

If there’s one thing we’d love to destroy, One missile we yearn to deploy, Its target would be Not the patriarchy, But the very emotion of joy. anti-joy vs. anti-cruelty Logical Fallacy #1: The Slippery Slope Logical Fallacy #2: The Scarecrow killing our own joy Hating the patriarchy does not mean hating men shoutouts to Ryukahr “Be critical of the media you love” -Anita Sarkeesian Errant Signal Tropes Vs. Women in Video Games Innuendo Studios Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

To live life as wholly intentional, Be truly unique and original, Instead of conform To the cultural norm, You must leave behind what’s vestigial. amygdala gender roles dodgy evolutionary biology the “default male” assumption the commodity model of sex (and a debunking of it that Pace only read after recording the episode – sorry!) shame rudeness is “Shame Lite” guilt Paradigm glue: why people get angry at you for simply existing whale legs Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

For your path to proceed unimpeded There are three things that all must be heeded. You’re on the right map When these three overlap: What you love, what you rock, and what’s needed. Creepy Lemons” WCML 035: The 3 Circles of Pathfinding (and how perfectionism can skew them) with Julica Hermann Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

On the one hand, a strong demonstration. On the other, a sly exploitation. How far can you go And still certainly know That it isn’t a gross manipulation? why Pace is so obsessed with morality Olive Garden, waffles and cats, and bankruptcy two moral extremes: personal (keep my soul pure) vs. utilitarian (60% live the life, 40% suffer) “That’s not like you” manipulation of husband by wife When (if ever) is it okay to disobey someone’s direct instructions? Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

Gluey Gus has completed the brick wall around his heart. Nothing gets to him. He’s strong, invulnerable, tough. Gluey Gus always gets the job done. Gluey Gus believes he’s making the right choice – the realistic choice. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, and you’ve got to be tough if you want to survive. Gluey Gus sees Mushy Mel beginning to unbrick her heart. “Mel,” asserts Gus, “You’ll be eaten alive. You’ve got to be tough if you want to survive.” “Gus,” gushes Mel, “It’s a wonderful thing! My heart is still shining and she wants to sing.” “Mel,” replies Gus, “Be mundane, not a mystic. You’ve got to come back here and be realistic.” “Gus,” declares Mel, “I just want to be free. I’ve been who I must, and that’s not the real me.” “Mel,” replies Gus, “I can hear your frustrations. But you’ve got to admit that you have obligations.” “Gus,” protests Mel, “I am falling apart. I cannot continue to brick up my heart.” “Mel,” replies Gus, “I don’t mean disrespect. But it’s your tender heart I intend to protect.” “Gus,” defends Mel, “I’m protected too much. These bricks block my heart; she and I have lost touch.” “Mel,” replies Gus, “You will feel so much pain. It’s safer to live way up here in your brain.” “Gus,” answers Mel, “I will feel so much more. It’s worth all the pain to reopen this door.” “Mel,” replies Gus, “I will spare you my rant. But here is my two-word summation: You can’t. You can’t live like that, Mel, you simply cannot. You’re being too sensitive; too overwrought. I tried to use reason but you won’t relent. Your ‘beautiful heartsong’ will not pay the rent.” As Gus rants along in his rant against Mel, his heart breaks a brick and peeks out of its shell. He carries on ranting, but unsticks his glue. His heart interjects a few words that are true: “I’ve got to keep spewing this verbal abuse, ’cause if I didn’t fight you, I’d have no excuse. I’d have no excuse for my own wall of bricks. So I’ve got to keep saying ‘You can’t’ till it sticks. I can’t let you go. I can’t simply leave it. I fight ’cause I’m trying so hard to believe it.” Gus gapes aghast at the truth he has spoken. He quietly whispers to Mel, “Am I broken?” “No,” answers Mel, “You are finally whole. You’ve unbricked your heart and uncovered your soul.” “Mel,” stutters Gus, “Why’d I wait all these years? If only I’d known- ” And he breaks down in tears. Mel opens her arms. They embrace, cry, and grin. It isn’t the end, but instead The Begin i am not green overarching trend toward compassion Ian Danskin on paradigm glue Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

There are certain things it’s unacceptable to say. I’m going to say some of them. A trolley is crashing, and you Choose who lives and who’s smushed into goo. Unlike what you’re taught, In real life you cannot Always hack Kobayashi Maru. trolley problem kobayashi maru liberal moral high ground What You Can’t Say by Paul Graham Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

There are two kinds of wanting: one that makes you miserable and one that brings you peace. Here’s the difference. This paradox feels like a flaw: Alan Watts even called it a law. The more that you chase Your joy, love, or grace The more that it seems to withdraw. the difference between wanting and expecting the difference between expectation and attachment the difference between attachment and entitlement the difference between “desperately wanting” and “feeling moved to” The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, by Mark Manson When there’s something you can’t stand about yourself and you keep trying to change, but failing It’s okay to not be happy all the time See also “The lollipop” chapter in our book, The Usual Error Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

If you just live your life off the cuff, You might feel you’re not up to snuff. If you “Find Your Path Now” Then you’re worthy somehow, But otherwise you’re not enough. This is an insidious lie! A path’s not a thing you can buy. Don’t fall for that trap: It’s compass, not map. Your path is a how, not a why. Myth #5: It’s unlikely I’ll ever find true fulfillment, so I might as well settle for good enough. Why You’re Too Qualified and Respectful to Produce Great Content (Pace’s Copyblogger post) Unethical business practices in the “do what you love for a living” crowd Kyeli’s story of surrogacy Pace’s story of “helping people feels good” Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

I write you this poem most lyrical To question: just what is a miracle? Is it some kind of sign? Is it from the Divine? Or is there an answer empirical? Weird stuff we’ve experienced, part 1 The “grey dots” optical illusion impossible colors the misinformation effect the lost in the mall experiment physics envy Treating paranormal research as a soft science instead of a hard science the psych study about the park with the fake secret base and the false memories the mandela effect WCME 066: The Enneagram and NLP, with Tom Condon Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

The strong status quo makes you hesitant. “It’s not my place” is the impediment. But you can’t be intentional And default conventional So go on, relocate that elephant! Kyeli tells the story of when she rearranged a restaurant’s bathroom and what it taught her about Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, complacency, and empowerment. Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.

“10 times out of 10, science wins” Assuming you use a clear lens. Be open and kind, The truth you will find, Instead of believing your friends. Carrie Poppy’s TED talk: “A scientific approach to the paranormal” Mock witches, then say “keep an open mind” – microaggression scientism Spiral Dynamics: orange vs. blue (and accidentally also vs. green) “Skeptic” and “claim” mean different things to different groups Health at Every Size Thanks for listening to The Dervish and the Mermaid! If you enjoyed this episode, please review us on iTunes and send your friends to PaceSmith.com. That’s also where you can download my free ebook, Find Your Path Now. It’ll help you stop living on autopilot and start living a wholehearted, intentional life.