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It's one thing to observe the circle of life as it impacts wild animals. And a completely different experience to learn that we too are part of the circle of life. That is when death comes crashing in. Holly Hisamoto learned about death when her favorite aunt died by suicide. And that tragedy helped to create the caring, thoughtful and wise woman that is Holly Hisamoto.  A Buddhist chaplain who has worked at a hospice and helped the dying and her families.  Holly understands how to help others set things down and move toward a peaceful death. Now, Holly shares about her experiences with death, and turns the tables on our host Margaret Meloni, asking her about what she learned from having family members in hospice.

If you listened to the Death Dhamma podcast Episode 3 with Venerable De Hong, it might have changed your perspective on grief and trauma and what happens when our parents die. In this Death Dhamma Aha follow-up, Margaret Meloni shares the impact that knowing Venerable De has made on her, and some of her own experiences in what it feels like when both your parents are dead.

When his father died, Venerable De Hong shed many tears. When his mother died, he also cried. They died many years apart. But, the difference in the grief he felt is not just due to his own progression on the path. It is that and so much more. When you are a child, and someone you love and trust abuses you. You feel trapped. When your abuser dies, you are free. Once you process the trauma that came from the abusive relationship, you are truly free. The grief you feel when your loved ones die is directly related to the relationship you had when you both were living.  

Join me in what I like to call Death Dhamma Aha's. An opportunity to reflect on my discussion with Noel Alumit and share with you some of the insightful points I learned from him. 

Before COVID there was AIDS. And Noel Alumit learned about life, and death, and grief while working as a volunteer in an AIDS hospice. He was only 22 or 23-years-old.  Now it is years later, and some things have changed, and some things remain the same. We cannot touch one another, we are afraid to be around one another. In the 1990s, Noel and his co-volunteers handed out safe-sex kits. Now we hand out masks. Death was difficult then, and it is difficult now.  And still, there is love and laughter and hope. And there are multiple ways that a person, Buddhist or otherwise can navigate grief. Listening to Noel you will benefit from his warmth, wisdom and compassion.    

The Grim Reaper is a friend of mine, and Buddhism made it possible. I am Margaret Meloni, your host. Please join me as we together we journey to a place of peace and strength and wisdom. Listen in while amazing Buddhist teachers share their experiences about life, death, and Buddhism. It will be insightful, and interesting, and once in a while, you are going to laugh! As my dear father used to say, "Nobody gets out of this alive."