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33 minutes | 3 years ago
Episode 028 – Kids and Sports
We start with a quick recap of Roman’s 1st birthday with a smash cake. Adam confirms that at the one year mark sleeping gets much better. During the night after the party one of Adam’s dogs gets sick and after the cleanup Roman falls down the stairs. Ditty shares his experience with Ellie’s fall down the stairs. As Maddox gets older he’s starting to have a little more attitude and is starting to test his boundaries. Ditty talk about the exhausting schedule he has to keep because of his kids involvement in sports. Adam relates by explaining his daily routine. Life is just relentless no matter what the situation may be. I have an easy question for the guys, what do parents do with kids that are school age during summer vacation? Adam is the assistant coach for Harper’s T-ball team and tells us how the first few practices have gone so far.
39 minutes | 3 years ago
Episode 027 – Raising Creative, Intelligent and Curious Kids
Maddox is in the Gifted and Talented program at his school and Ditty shares the secret combination of influences that got him there. We share our memories of the Gifted and Talented programs we remember and how we related to it. Ellie is very athletic and Ditty tells us about how well she did during Track and Field. Harper has progressed in pre-school and that brings Adam to mention that they had an issue with one of the teachers. We then discuss how we remember our teachers. All a parent can do is their best and their kids will turn out how they turn out. We talk about how the way kids are raised will not always cause the intended outcome. Axel is starting to do things on purpose now. He has much better control over his movements and Sheilla and I are more aware of his basic intentions because of it. The little steps he's taking in his development are bigger than they seem. Finding a balance between structure and embracing the different influences of others so they get a well rounded experience as they develop. I talk about how we are keeping TV from Axel even though we don't know what affect that will have on him it seems like the best way to go about it, to us. We come to the conclusion that as long as a parent is trying their best they have to recognize that is literally as good as they can do. We compare notes and outcomes from different relationships to TV and to reading. I want Axel to be able to draw because I think it is the most efficient way to communicate an idea. I ask the guys about where they think their interest in drawing came from.
33 minutes | 3 years ago
Episode 026 – Polyamory, Natural Disasters and Multiculturalism: Making a Great Neighborhood with DANNO KLONOWSKI
Danno Klonowski joins us this week. He is a long-time friend of Andy's and he used to host The Wayne Gayle Variety Hour podcast. He is a very young grandfather and shares his perspectives with us. Danno brings some perspective to raising kids in the area we both live in. It is a very diverse area and the schools reflect that and he points out just how beneficial it was for his kids growing up in that environment. It makes me see our neighborhood in a new way because it is the first time I have heard the experience of someone who has kids that are adults after being in these schools. Adam and Nikki have started to rethink living in the suburbs. They are starting to think about coming back up into the city. There is more of a sense of community and less isolation than the suburbs and that has a lot to do with the proximity of the houses to each other. Danno makes the a point for embracing family as a tribe and embracing all sources of influence across generations. And reassures Adam that he cannot ask too much of his mom because grandparents will typically take all the time they can get with their grand kids. Having influence is one thing within a family but there is a different etiquette with dealing with your neighbors kids. Our neighborhoods are turning over and that has had some noticeable effects and we each share some stories about that. Well, mainly Danno shares some pretty great stories from his neighborhood.
44 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 025 – Raising Girls, Kids are Nicer Now and TV
This week we continue our conversation with John and we cover the following topics: Seeing our kids experience emotions during films. We've been fundamentally changed as people when we became dads. We see people differently and can tell a parent from a non-parent pretty easily. Teaching our kids good lessons about fighting for causes and sticking up for themselves. Raising daughters, in particular, with good self image and being a good example as a dad. Acknowledging the extra challenges daughters will face. How we handled social situations when we were younger and how we hope to teach our kids the lessons we learned but may not have employed. kids seem to be kinder than when we were growing up. Girls seem to really try to hurt each other in a way that is different than boys. Talking to our kids like grown-ups and noticing their progress as they grow up. John brings up playing good music for our kids and influencing their taste in music. We discuss what we think of the Beatles. How we hope to raise our kids with regard to TV and our relationship to TV when we were kids. Going to the Drive-in theater.
45 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 024 – Mother’s Day, Real Tears and Kid Politics
This week Andy and I are joined by my friend John who is the dad of two young daughters. I totally procrastinated and waited to edit this on Mother's Day so this description is a pretty succinct list of topics we cover on this episode. Mothers Day How free time is split up between parents. Getting back into the gym and the gym childcare facilities. Sleep training. Real tears vs. fake tears. Older kids can help with their younger siblings. A little insight into what three kids is like. Sharing is tough, and the differences between two sisters sharing and a brother and sister sharing. Kids try to get away with stuff but just how early do they start trying to get away with that crap? Seeing kids act differently when they are around their friends. How older kids and younger kids get along.
29 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 023 – 5 Months Old, Our Kids are Fun and Dinner Conversations
Axel is super fun now that he is 5 months old and I tell Ditty that he was right that I am so loving Axel now at around the 6 month mark that he mentioned in an earlier episode of the podcast. I ask the guys how they are seeing their love for their kids evolve as they get older and do new things. Adam is a few months ahead with Roman and the waking times are all just as fun but he is dealing with sleeping being an issue and mentions how a more active child requires more activity and energy from parents. Axel and Roman are learning new things very rapidly and Adam and I bring up some of the things they are doing now. The time is flying by and we talk through where that time seems to go. The evenings after work are so short before the kids go to sleep. Ditty talks about what his dinners and dinner conversations are like with his kids. Ellie's days are either the best day ever or the worst day ever. Adam says he looks forward to being able to have those types of real dinner conversations. I'm starting to feel confident as a parent and that is part of why my perspective has changed and I am starting to enjoy parenting so much more.
50 minutes | 4 years ago
022 Episode – Children’s Beauty Pageants, Boys vs. Girls, and “Back in My Day”: The Bus Stop
We start by discussing sunscreen, make-up and how weird children's beauty pageants are. We get to discussing how there is no equivalent for boys and that leads us to talking about our kids playing sports. Curt brings up the differences between boys and girls and how they are treated differently for arbitrary reasons. The guys discuss expectations and stereotypes that are specific to girls. This leads to sports and what we end up calling "activity camp" and we talk about summer schools and the division of students in school based on their academic abilities. We try to give our kids everything we can to give them any advantage possible and this includes academic advantages which may affect how much extra effort we have to put in as parents. Kids are noticing status symbols but don't fully understand the nuances of the adult world. They are noticing the size of houses and what possessions people have but have very basic ideas of what that means as far as status is concerned. TV watching etiquette and how people use TV to have superficial conversations and how sports offer that same social function. Talking to boys and girls differently and how to figure out what they are really asking when they are asking adults questions. We want to pass our interests on to our kids yet we know they might not all be received how we hope. "Dadding the shit" out of working on the house. Letting kids learn lessons on their own vs. when to intervene for their safety. Lessons we learned at the bus stop when we were kids.
36 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 021 – More Kids, Our Siblings and Censorship
This is the second part of our discussion with my friend Tim. We continue to explore dad stereotypes but we dig into the value of siblings and reflect on the nature of our relationships with our own siblings. Theme music from Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
40 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 020 – Dad Stereotypes
My friend Tim joins The Dads this week. He adds his perspective as we cover all kinds of topics that loosely follow a central theme of Dad stereotypes that we have seen in movies, on TV and on greeting cards. We talk about how many of them apply to us. Theme music from Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
27 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 019 – The Forever House and Being Able to Afford It
Andy starts the episode by saying he wants to be around to see as much of the lives of his children as possible before he dies. We all discuss how our perspectives on our lives have changed since becoming parents. Then we talk about the housing market and how tough it is to find the perfect house in which to raise a family and moving from house to house is a lot of work and requires a lot of money. I finish by bringing up how I am thinking about getting a new job to be able to have a little financial breathing room in the future and expand opportunities for my family. Theme music from Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
40 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 018 – Does Being a Parent Make You a Grown-up?
Adam and I are at the exact opposite place with sleep training; he is trying to make sure Roman doesn’t sleep too much and I’m trying to make sure Axel is sleeping as much as he needs to. As the amount of sleep we get becomes limited any time for ourselves has to come from somewhere and it’s most likely going to cut into sleep. Adam looks forward to being able to sleep through the night and Andy lets him know that it is probably farther off than he wants to admit. Naps are different between Axel and Roman, too. Axel needs a lot of help to sleep but Roman will just fall asleep wherever he is. Roman has four teeth in and two more on the way. I ask Adam about how close he thinks Roman is to saying words because I’m using his experience to set my expectations of when things should happen and he’s convinced that Roman is pretty close to his first word. Time is passing quickly. Our kids are growing so fast and we are forgetting things already as new, awesome things are happening with our kids. The Big Topic: What does it mean to grow up and does having kids make you grow up? Can we, as Dads, come first anymore? Can we justify spending money and time on our hobbies? Theme music by Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
50 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 017 – Birthday Parties, Apologies and Potty Training
We start with Andy explaining his social anxiety and how he used to cope with groups of people by drinking and how that relates to his son’s birthday party. The party was twelve kids all with Nerf guns, one with no manners and Andy explains how he addressed the lack of manners exhibited by that one kid. Adam is wondering how to start helping Harper make friends and have play dates but kids her age are scarce in the neighborhood. Andy says that it is through organized sports that Maddox met a lot of his friends. We talk about meeting neighbors versus keeping to yourself; hanging out in the back yard rather than the front. Adam had a rough start to his day when Harper kicked their dog in the face and Adam had an opportunity to teach Harper about when it is necessary to apologize. Adam and Andy share their experiences disciplining their kids and the response they get. We then discuss the degree to which children are able to empathize and when that starts to develop. Andy explains how Chuck E Cheese is one of the safest places to leave your kids. Harper is fully potty trained. Adam explains how he and Nikki decided it was time to start training and we talk about how they did it and how it isn’t so easy for all kids to pick it up. The kids become bathroom buddies and it can get awkward at home and complicated when at public restrooms. The topic of leaving kids outside a public restroom leads to discussing abductions and how we hope our kids know to handle interactions with strangers. S interaction is not initiated by our friends anymore because we have been unavailable so many times they have stopped trying. We finish with going to the movies and proper theater etiquette. Theme music by Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
32 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 016- Help from Grandparents, The Value of Sleep and the Ongoing Balance of Work and Family
Adam talks about asking for help when you’ve been pushed to your limit regarding sleep, patience or time. He tells us about all the things that piled up that lead to him asking his mom for additional help with the kids. We talk about feeling like we are asking too much and whether or not the people being asked feel obligated to help and how asking in-laws for help is a different challenge. Ditty brings up his relationship to his grandfather and wonders how subsequent generations turned out the way they did based on what he knew of his grandfather. Adam points out the privileged position grandparents have; all the fun time they want and then they can leave, and sleep. We talk about what a big impact good sleep has on our parenting experiences and how sleeping through the night is the ultimate goal. Sleeping issues are always harder on the moms and we know that. Adam gives an example of how much the little breaks can mean to the other parent when things get stressful. Going back to work is very different between the dads and moms and we talk about how it was hard for the moms to go back to work after an extended time home with a child. We discuss whether or not work can be a break from kids and how it’s dependent on what we know we are coming home to and when we are away we miss our kids and talk about them the whole time. When we struggle in a situation our partners can step right in with confidence and get to the source of the issue. As dads we try as hard as we can but sometimes we just don’t get it. Theme Music by Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
48 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 015 – Being a Parent Isn’t Always Awesome
We catch up with Adam and how the illnesses in his house have escalated. The episode starts right off with him talking about Harper's ear infection and how hard it is to diagnose issues with sick kids. A quick recap of Harper's dance class and Ditty struggles to describe what Destination Imagination is and Maddox's involvement in it. Adam dreads elementary level concerts and what he imagines them to be but Ditty explains what they are actually like. After catching up the big topic comes up; being a parent can really suck sometimes. I talk about how low my morale got with Axel and how he feels selfish for having a hard time. The situation was made worse because I wasn't treating my wife well and there was no chance to explain to her what was happening. Adam puts things into perspective from a few months ahead of me. We all explore how being a parent isn't always great and rewarding and that it's okay to feel that way. Adam has a more positive approach to the tough times and Andy and I tend not to but I share how quickly and easily the mood changed at our house by addressing the issue. Part of the struggle is reading the signs our kids give us properly and learning our limits with our ability to soothe our kids. We talk about how we handle our kids differently than their mothers and some of the struggles that come from that. I acknowledge that I am the victim of my own expectations of my child and we talk about how it can be hard to keep expectations reasonable. Adam explains that dealing with toddlers is easier than infants for him because there is a least a trail of information leading to a given situation. It might not always make sense or be rational but it's there. Overall, parents do a good job of keeping their parenting troubles to themselves and focusing on the good stuff and we do too but the point of the podcast is to share the good and the bad to provide an accurate and honest account of what parenting is like. Theme music by Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
52 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 014 – Talking About our Kids, Toys, Keeping a Clean House and Politics
We talk about our kids a lot. We talk about how all our conversations turn to talking about our kids. Keeping the house clean is a challenge with children and we talk about finding the time to clean and the option to hire help. Andy brings up the option to just give in to the mess and then the issue of toys comes up, how to manage the number of them and the mess they make. We discuss getting the kids to help clean up their own messes. We end with the political issues that are weighing heavily on our minds as Dads and reveal our political beliefs in no uncertain terms. We try to keep things reigned in as we discuss our concerns with the future of education, healthcare and the country in general. We debated having this discussion but it was on our minds in such a distracting way that we had to let it out. Theme music by Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
36 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 013 – Comic Talk, Separation Anxiety and Going Back to Work
Adam's kids are sick again and they are getting restless sitting still and watching children's movies. Comic Talk: The era of hunting for and collecting comics is over but Andy is trying to keep it alive for Maddox. Adam and Andy discuss the evolution of the business of the comic industry. Judd recaps how Axel handled is longest road trip to date and his latest trip to the doctor for vaccinations. Adam has an update on Roman teething. Adam is dealing with separation anxiety as they try to get Roman to sleep in his crib and we talk about how we all have handled sleeping differently. Sheilla goes back to work soon and her role at home will be missed so we talk about the challenge of sending a child to daycare and going back to work. Theme Music by Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
44 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 012 – Balancing Attention, Babysitters and No More Nice Things
This week we start with Adam asking Andy for any advice about how to balance the attention given to each kid. Judd and Adam share their experiences out of the house with and without the kids respectively. The topic of how our perspectives on people in public with their children has changed and we finish with how it is very hard to have nice while the kids are young. Theme music from Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
19 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 011 – Challenging Authority, Respecting Authority and Kids are Gross
This week we talk about raising kids that have strong beliefs and know when to respectfully challenge authority and when to respect it. Andy talks about how his son cares for very specific aspects of his appearance and seems to be able to disregard the rest. Theme music from Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
53 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 010 – Sickness, Dangers Around the House and Excuses
Judd was getting over a cold this week so, to prevent getting Adam and Andy sick, this episode was recorded via Skype. The conversation starts with a discussion about how to handle illness in a house with kids, the dangers of dressers tipping over and how we are preventing or planning to prevent furniture related catastrophes and we finish by discussing how it's always gas or teething that make our kids so irritable. Theme music from Bastard Saint. Find them on Spotify.
54 minutes | 4 years ago
Episode 009 – Dividing Responsibilities, Outside Influences and Religion
This week we have a guest co-host because Adam's house has been hit with illness. Curt sits in and discusses the early days of raising a child from the point of view of a father of twins. We also talk about avoiding baby talk, how outside influences affect our kids, introducing our kids to religion and how many pictures are too many pictures to take of our kids. Theme music from Bastard Saint, find them on Spotify.
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