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If you're caring for a loved one in their end of life and hospice or you're approaching it soon, this episode is going to be valuable.    Today’s guest, Helen Bauer from the Heart of Hospice podcast shares What’s the difference between Palliative Care vs Hospice?   What is end of life care? Your rights to choose an agency. Levels of hospice care The core team, services / discipline, caregiver system and the family What hospice does to help the family? And then some really good advice for caregivers.   Caregiver empowerment - advice for caregivers What’s covered under Medicare hospice benefits? Keys to making a caregiver system work Self-care and self-awareness for the caregiver during this time.  Mind, body and spirit Caregiver behaviors and roles during this time View of death Check out all Helen and The Heart of Hospice has to office at  website link.    The Heart of Hospice podcast link.     The Heart of Hospice Podcast Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Juggling everything can be hard now that you are a caregiver.  Before caregiving you were working on those personal and professional goals and now this caregiver life has complicated things.  In today’s episode, I want to talk about you, the working caregiver or the business owner caregiver or the student caregiver.   Many of my clients and caregiver friends are just that.  They are working their professional career and now their parent needs them.   They are in their master degree program and their spouse is fighting cancer.  They are an entrepreneur and juggling time to take care of their sibling.   Whether you choose to continue your goals or passions while caregiving or you financially can’t quit your job because you need the insurance, I want to talk in this podcast about managing it all with less stress.  Figuring out ways to reduce burnout and enjoy the journey.   I’m here in this episode today to say, you can be an effective caregiver, work your job/career, run your business and be your best self.  You can pursue your goals and passion during this season if that’s what you want or have to do.  Life doesn’t have to stop.  You can manage this caregiving life.   There are many caregivers that do this everyday.   The successful caregiver focuses on  what they want,   what they need  a caregiver plan  When you become a caregiver manager vs a go-all-in caregiver, you find that you can find joy in the challenges.  Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

When you become a caregiver you think about the extra responsibilities, being an advocate and your loved one’s care. You don't think about the relationship changes and dynamics that occur.   Being the child of an aging parent often forces you into role reversal.    It can be awkward, embarrassing, frustrating and very challenging at times.   I feel it was extremely challenging to have the relationship of the past, especially when caregiving calls you to be the financial manager, the healthcare manager, the safety manager and the manager of their overall well-being. Changing the dynamic of your relationship from being a daughter to a primary caregiver felt emotional and confusion.    When your spouse needs care, your relationship changes too.   Your spouse is no longer your lover, partner, or your fun date.  This transition can be difficult.   You now miss the everyday help.  You miss the companionship.  You miss the conversation.  You miss the intimacy.   The first thing you probably noticed are the extra tasks. Simple things like, they carried out the garbage or ran to the store or did the dishes or filled up the car.  Now you have to take on more.  Your focus is different.  You may be in constant worry or checking on your loved one and trying to do everything you can to make them feel better.   When we begin providing care for a loved one, our relationship with that person can take on a new meaning as our role in their life changes. Whether we are their spouse, child, sibling or friend, taking on the role of managing their care or helping them cope with a disease or condition comes with unique responsibilities and relational dynamics. In some cases, caring for a loved one may make our relationship with them stronger, but in others, the stresses of caregiving may lead to increased strain which in turn can negatively impact our relationship with a loved one. If you are experiencing a strained relationship, it starts with Assessing and auditing the big picture Brainstorm options Communicate effectively Listen to our loved one’s preferences Separate the disease from the person Explore resources Caregiving naturally affects your relationship with the person you care for. You interact in new ways. You see each other differently. And you experience unfamiliar, sometimes funny or even delightful feelings.   Approach the changes positively, with an open mind, and you might be surprised. Your relationship could become stronger and more fulfilling.Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

In today’s podcast I want to share the importance of walking through each challenge with a grateful mindset, a patient mindset, a graceful mindset and one that allows you to fall and learn along the way   One of the biggest mistakes I see caregivers make (me included) is that we look at caregiving as the end in your life and you start believing that your goals and future plans will no longer be possible.  Instead, it’s a road block and most of the time a huge road block with lots of pain and challenges and sometimes loss, but it doesn’t mean that you have to give up on your life goals  your future dreams and yourself.    While you are going through your caregiver journey, you can and should keep your goals and dreams and just adjust them   And then use this time to learn more about yourself and be ok with this journey.   The mindset shifts caregiver can adopt:   Be ok with this season by stop looking at the future or past.  Embrace your feelings and thoughts.     Be grateful. Live in the present.  Live in the place where you are now.    Choose your mindset.   Embrace the small things in this season.   When you focus on this caregiving journey as a reward, a gift and learning opportunity. I’m grateful that I can now reach this goal of retirement so can open the door to working full-time on my passion with The Caregiver Cup.   To be honest, I need to walk this path to get here.  Again my friend, if you are feeling frustrated and struggling, I want you to know that it sucks and feels awful.  But…  keep going.  Work on your mindset so you can release the negativity and get rid of the untruths that you mind is telling you.   There is good in this hard journey.   Not everyone can see this but I know you can if you choose to. Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

It’s the perfect time to stop and do something for yourself.  I want to share a process that I do now each year and I know it’s already the new year -to be honest, you can proclaim a fresh start and set intentions anytime you need to.   I actually revisit this process every three months now.    Assess and audit last year What you want this year? How will you focus? So, my friend,  I hope you take some time to reflect and audit on the past year, and go into this year with a focus that you are proud of.  Make this the year and the season you put yourself first.  It doesn’t mean you are neglecting your loved one.  It means you love them enough to be your best self.  It means that you have to protect your energy so you can be present and engaged in their care.  When you write that word or words on your mirror or in your journal each day, you are giving you the self-love and self-compassion you need.  And if you fall off that focus or drain your cup,  the words will bring you back if you allow them to.  This year my friend is going to be the year you choose your journey.   I will be here with you every step of the way.  I want to continue to help women caring for their loved one fill their cup first by finding their personal steps to reduce stress and prevent burnout   And when they do that, they can be their best self and a better caregiver for their loved one.  Happy New Year.Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

 Today we’re talking about this dreaded caregiver disease:  Burnout.  I know it’s not officially a disease but it is the hazard of caregiving.   Think about it,  all professions have downfalls, risks or hazards.    Reba McEntire postponed her concerts in November to rest her vocal cords My daughter-in-law is a teacher and is at higher risks of respiratory infections  Working Mom fight priorities and expectations, sleep deprivation and managing time effectively. What do all three of theses examples have in common?   Burnout. Burnout is the hazard of the caregiver role.   But you can take measures to overcome it or avoid it.   Yes.  that’s what I said.  It breaks my heart when I hear caregivers say:  It is what it is. I can’t.  I’m the only one.  I can do this .  My vows say for better or for worse.      Is your caregiving unhealthy and becoming a hazard?   What is caregiving i costing you?    The obvious one is the impact of caregiving on your personal time   Another is the impact caregiving can have on your income or job advancement This ones a biggie:  Impacts of caregiving on your physical health Then there’s the whole emotional cost of caregiving.     I’m not telling you this to bring you down.  Heck, I want this to motivate you to fight like all hell to get out of burnout or avoid it.    If you are still telling yourself you can’t or you’re stuck, then you really need to ask yourself why and find the inner strength to change.   I want you to really take a seriously look at yourself right now.   Embrace and hug yourself for doing a dam good job as a caregiver.     Now I want you accelerate your caregiver game.    Are you taking care of yourself?    What about asking for help?   Embrace joy.  There is a difference between providing loving care vs unhealthy caregiving.  Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

It’s the week before Christmas and I thought I would do a bit of reflection about this gift giving season.  As a caregiver, this holiday season may be different.  That’s why today, I want to talk about the 7 gifts of Caregiving.  Those you receive from others and yourself as well as those you give.  You're giving a very special and amazing gift to your loved one.  The gift of love.  You give it and receive it. The love you give to yourself. Love from others. Community of support. The gift of your team. The small moments of joy. I believe, whatever your situation is like, you have gifts.  Embrace them and be grateful.   My challenge for you today, is to open up to the little gifts you received and take action on gifts you can give.  My favorite gifts are small but mighty.  Find yoursMay your holiday be blessed with warm memories, happy thoughts and amazing small gifts. Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

A year ago, I was so angry and resentful I remember it was a struggle.  He was getting chemotherapy and I was wrapping my head around his stem cell transplant.  And, celebrating the holidays was a complete blur but I do remember how angry I was.  I was angry and resentful about cancer.   I was angry at the stress it was causing.  I was angry that I had to go through this stuff again.     It took me weeks to let go of the anger and embrace all my feelings.  It was ok to be angry BUT I couldn’t stay there since it was sucking all the energy out of me.   What’s the difference between anger and resentment? Feelings of anger and resentment often occur together, and though similar, they’re actually two different things. Anger is defined as a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. Often, it’s a split-second reaction that occurs due to an irritating or frustrating event or situation.  Resentment is more complex in that it occurs over time and incorporates several emotions like sadness, anger, and fear. Instead of being a reaction to a single event or situation, it’s a culmination of painful or disappointing feelings from the past, that make it difficult to remain present.   As a caregiver, it’s easy to fluctuate between these two emotions. For example, you might feel angry if a loved one has an accident after you spent time and energy helping them to the bathroom. At the same time, you might feel resentful because every waking moment revolves around their care.    Anger and resentment are common emotions, but when they infiltrate your personal relationships it can feel like the world is crumbling.  Iceberg Model Anger is called the secondary emotion.  We tend to resort to anger because we are covering up the real feelings which may sometimes vulnerable.  Under the water the iceberg is usually bigger.   Some emotions beneath anger may be difficult to identify, admit or discuss.    But when we really look under the water at the anger iceberg, we can uncover and mange our anger.  Anger has many triggers, such as people, places or situations. When you take a step back and ask yourself questions to explore, you can really find out why you’re angry and why the resentment is so strong.  Ask yourself these questions:  What is the root cause of the anger? What triggers your anger? What happens when you get angry? Is my anger healthy?   What's on the bottom of the iceberg?   Then..  how can you cope with the root cause(s)?   I went right back to the basics of what I have done over and over again:  focusing on gratitude, walking each day, talking to my community and finding joy in the little things.    This caregiver journey is not easy but when you have figured out YOUR shifts and plans to implement in those challenging times, you CAN make it through with JOY.   It’s all about being the best caregiver you can be.  Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

We as caregiver don’t get that many good days, let alone good weeks.    I want to talk more about this bowling thing I joined.  Why in the world would I bowl when I know nothing about this game and I was deep into caregiver, right?   My best friend, Julie asked me during the summer if I would consider doing something fun with her one day a week during the winter months.  My thoughts and guilt said no. How could I when my Mom’s lung cancer came back,  Denis was still recovering from his stem cell transplant and I could barely juggle everything else.   But my friend convinced me that we could find something that didnt’ take a lot of time and we could just get away from everything for a bit.   With a little convincing,  I said yes.   Julie found a non-competitive mixers bowling league on Wednesdays that were from 5-6pm  I went to a practice night and met everyone and it seamed comfortable and fun.   However, honestly,  I didn’t like bowling because I totally stunk at it.  It seemed hard and after the practice night, every muscle ached.   I remember my Mom telling me, that this would be good for you.   My first official night was hard.  My mind and heart were with my Mom in hospice care.   I bowled 84, 86 and 92.  Well..  I definitely was a rookie and had room for improvement. The next week, I had one game over 100, barely.   As the weeks went on I got better and starting enjoying the time with Julie and the other teams we met.    Now I look forward to that time out and come back from bowling with a spring in my step.  I took a deep breath last week in the car, had tears running down my eyes because bowling brings me joy.   And  it gave me something fun to focus on.    I found myself look at bowling videos which was a nice distraction.    It’s ok to have fun and enjoy yourself as a caregiver.   Even in the hardest times of your caregiving journey.    You don’t have to feel guilty for it.   I call this a shift that has changed me in my caregiving journey.     These are things you try to less your stress and reduce that burnout that creeps in.   Another shift that I made about a year into my journey was find a community.  Check out the Caregiver Cup Circle and join the waitlist.   The December Circle is in progress but we will open up registration again right after Christmas for just a week.   My last shift I want to share with you (and if you are on my email list, you may have heard this).  It’s one that I started just a few months ago.   You know what it is?! Hugging yourself.   Well, my friend,  I wish you more good days than bad.  More joy than stress and More hugs than tears.  Remember to keep your cup full.   When you fill your cup each day, you’ll be able to be a better version of yourself.  Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

In today’s episode, I’m talking about those unexpected challenges that come up while you are deep into caregiving.  Those ones that you just want to throw in the towel or run away.   But instead your forced into dealing with whether you want to or not.  If you do it all everything yourself, what happens - stress, overwhelm, exhaustion and then your emotions start up - you get angry, and even resentful    You feel lonely and not appreciated.  You get frustrated and overwhelmed with all you have to do.  It becomes a downward spiral to burnout.     Burnout defined as “A state of emotional and physical exhaustion caused by a prolonged period of stress and frustration.   Check out Episode 21:  The 3 Stage of Caregiver Stress What can you do to find your team?   Listen to Episode 96:  Why Asking For Help As Caregiver is Hard?  When you release and reduce the stressors, you protect yourself from Caregiver Burnout.  When you embrace your thoughts and feeling and let go of the negative thoughts and untrue thoughts, you protect yourself from Caregiver Burnout.    When you are in Caregiver Burnout, you let those feelings that don’t help you.   Like Anger and Resentment.  Like Fatigue and Exhaustion.  And like Isolation and Loneliness.  If you are there or on the track towards it…  you can reverse it.  I want to help by offering my free workshop called GOODBYE Caregiver Burnout.  I’m sharing 3 of my shifts that took me from stress to more joy   from burnout to gratitude.  Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Celebrations look different now as a Caregiver.  Learning and finding new ways to find joy and gratitude takes a bit of time and a mindset shift.   When life is challenging and your loved one is sick,  you sometimes have to accept that things will be different.  But, you don’t have to stop celebrating.  You just have to celebrate them differently.   Meaning making them special, with small moments of joy with simplicity. As you and I move into the Holidays, my hope is that you think differently about celebrations and your expectations.    You have to come to the reality that you will have to adapt and change.  Your loved one is not doing this on purpose.  Their illness or disease is holding them back.   I remember being so angry and resentful instead of just accepting the reality of this season.   It’s ok to have a low key birthday, anniversary, Christmas, New Years Eve, other holidays, etc.   Some of our best celebrations and memories are just simple ones.  The small moments together.  Those are the ones we remember the most and it brings us the most joy.     Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

 In this challenging time I needed to expand my gratitude practice.  Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for releasing stress and sparking joy.  I’m not  suggesting you should suck it up and be thankful no matter how tough things get.  Gratitude is about noticing that there are always some positive things in your life, no matter how dark things may seem.If just journaling gratitude isn't working, there are so many ways to cultivate your gratitude emotions.   Hopefully, you can make it a habit that translates into a trait.Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

 Do you want to hear the ONE habit I started one month into my caregiving journey that has made a huge difference in my caregiver stress and mindset.  I truly believe I am able to cope with challenges and struggles better. No matter how hard things are, I have trained my brain and can shift my mindset.    In this episode, I’m sharing my personal daily habit I do each day.  It’s simple and impactful. After a month of worry,  sleepless nights,  negative thoughts and feeling depressed,  I made the decision to take control of my thoughts.      The practice was pretty easy….  Each day write down 5 things you are grateful for.   When - determine time of day Where - find a quiet space Writing it down  Results will come but with commitment, persistence and patience Incorporating the Journaling gratitude habit has helped my caregiver stress and mindset.   It takes 5 minutes each day and has an amazing impact on my mood, outlook and day-to-day stress levels.  The second thing I did was reach out to a caregiver community.  It was so valuable to speak with other caregivers who are going through similar experiences, stressors and challenges.   That’s why I created The Caregiver Cup Circle.   Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

November is National Family Caregiver Month and National Gratitude Month.   National Gratitude Month  encourages us to embrace the power of gratitude.  Gratitude is more than simply saying “thank you.”   Gratitude’s amazing powers have the ability to shift us from focusing on the negative to appreciating what is positive in our lives. Practicing daily gratitude gives us a deeper connection to ourselves, the world around us, and to our spirituality.   Research has shown that gratitude can enhance our moods, decrease stress, and drastically improve our overall level of health and wellbeing.  On average, grateful people tend to have fewer stress-related illnesses and experience less depression and lowered blood pressure, they are more physically fit, they are happier, have a higher income, more satisfying personal and professional relationships, and will be better liked. National Family Caregivers Month recognizes the dedication of family members who provide round the clock care to loved ones. When medical conditions demand attention, family steps into roles, they are often unprepared to accept. They become caregivers instead of partners or friends. Sometimes this change occurs suddenly or over time. Caregivers rarely have time for themselves. There’s always another thing to be done. However, a caregiver requires rest, too. So this month, I want to spend time on The  Caregiver Cup  episodes to talk about one of the best practices you can incorporate into your daily routine and that is gratitude.   Gratitude is the human way of acknowledging the good things of life.  But you just can’t say I am grateful and you see positivity and feel happier.  It requires a practice and you need to want to do it.   It’s a muscle you have to build.  Then it requires practice to do it naturally and the result will lead to a mindset that focuses on positivity, good and more happiness.     “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions.”  Zig ZiglarSupport the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

In this episode, I want to share the caregiver task you don’t think about.   When your loved one passes, you think your journey is done, but wait, you have a laundry list of things to do.  You are grieving, planning their funeral and/or celebration of life and you have these dreaded tasks to do too.  So today I want to share everything I did in hopes you can learn from me and maybe even do some things prior.   My disclaimer is that I am not a lawyers or accountant.  It’s just a girl sharing my experiences.   You want to check with your attorney, bank and any other professional sources when making decisions.Click here for the full episode notes. Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Being aware of what caregiver season you are in, will help you in many ways.   In this episode we're breaking down each season.   LOW / GREEN MEDIUM / YELLOW HIGH / RED  Are you in a low, medium or high this week?   If you are in that high season right now.  Remember the color it is.  Red means that you may need to stop doing things and prioritize what’s most important.  It may require you to ask for help and most importantly grant yourself grace.  Your focus is in the present.   If you are in the low, you may be able to take a breath and enjoy yourself more.    I personally find the medium, the hardest.  Your emotions and thoughts want to be in low and you tend to be hard on myself.  When you're in the middle, you have to shift and adjust more.   As you enter your day and week, my hope is that you assess where you are at.  That way you can realistically be at your best.   Your caregiver stress will be different in each season.  Your self-care will look different in each level.    It’s a constant learning process and an awareness.   But you can make choices for yourself in each season. Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

I want to share this episode for anyone who’s loved one is in hospice and/or dealing with their loved one’s end of life.   It is one of the toughest, most exhausting and challenging times as a caregiver.  If you are going through this right now or are about to go through this soon or have gone through this, please know that I am sending you a huge hug and I also am telling you that you are providing such a beautiful gift to your loved one.   As tough as this journey was, I learned so much about myself and have so many beautiful moments to look back on in that last month and most importantly those last 10 days.   As I continue to process this journey, I am looking at the end to my Caregiver Daughter journey as a gift.    I focused on gratitude for Mom’s caregiving team.  The hospice nurses, my siblings, her spiritual team, and the doctor consults behind the scene Learned to ask for help and leaned on others.   Self-care looks different - I couldn’t do my normal routine and really didn’t have the focus and energy.   I learned to grant myself grace and go with the flow.   In challenging times we all react different.   Accept your emotions.    Set expectations and have those hard conversations Embrace the amazingly good memories in the hardest of times.   I know there will be more to reflect on and process as time goes on.  When you start caring for your elderly parent, or your loved one with a terminal illness, you try not to think about those last days.   But they will come.   My hope is that you look at those remaining months, weeks or days as a gift you can give to them.  What things can you say or do to create some beautiful memories that will stay in your heart forever.   It can be as simple as kissing your loved one and sharing a few words with them.   It could be coming together with your siblings or friends and sitting by your loved ones side, even if the past wasn’t the most ideal.  You want to embrace the beauty of your caregiving journey vs the sad and ugly.   You also want to grant yourself grace too.  You can’t be at your best if you don’t get some sleep, hydrate and eat.   Taking a shower with some music on helped me escape for a few minutes.  Eating on the patio outside my mom’s room gave me a mini break.  Whatever you can do - find a bit of self-careSupport the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

In today's podcast episode, I interviewed Jess Brooks who is a recipe developer and pro-trained cook and baker.  Jess is on a mission to help busy people cook healthy meals for their families without spending hours in the kitchen.   Jess shares her tips and practices on prepping meals simpler and easier so that you, as a caregiver, can get back your time and energy.   She shares unique ways to spend less time in the kitchen and more time with your loved one.   You can follow Jess and find more info at easyeats.substack.com and jess@brookscooks.comGrab the show notes here  ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode129Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircleIf you're interested in 1:1 Coaching  ➡️   DM Cathy  @cathylynnvan>>CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspirationhttps://instagram.com/cathylynnvan/Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

It was time for the final consultation for my spouse;s stem cell/ bone marrow transplant.   It was in personin Milwaukee requiring us to travel 2 hours for it.   We had it on our calendar for months.  It was the final step prior to Denis getting the cure he needed.    About 2 days prior I wasn’t feeling the greatest and I thought it was the nerves. But the fatigue got worse and then came the fever.  I was so frustrated since I was a hand sanitizer, mask wearing, clorox wipe kinda girl.  I avoided crowds and declined guests in our home for 6 months.   I knew what I had to do. Stay isolated in the bedroom and I can’t drive in the car with my spouse.    Again, I was so angry and frustrated.  I had to be there but there was no way.  So figured out a back up plan .  What is your back up plan if you can’t do your caregiver responsibilities?   You can’t say - you don’t have a plan?   There is no guarantee that you can be there all the time.  Only four in 10 caregivers would rate their health as “excellent or very good,” according to AARP’s 2020 Caregiving in the U.S. survey. This is a significant drop from the 48% of caregivers who reported very good health in 2015. This self-reported poor health is backed by medical statistics — 53% of caregivers have been diagnosed with two or more chronic conditions, such as heart disease, kidney disease, or diabetes. That’s 14% higher than the general U.S. adult population, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). These chronic conditions contribute to lower caregiver life expectancy. I was brought to my knees again this past week.    I ended up with a terrible stomach flu where I couldn’t be far from the bathroom and my pillow for three days.   I thought I was being so careful with managing my new stressful challenge of Mom now starting hospice care but my take on it is that I am still trying to recover from chronic stress and my body just couldn’t fight a virus.   As I laid there trying to recover, I had to give into my thoughts and emotions as well as taking this as a learning lesson.   How could I caregive anyone if I am not taking care of myself first.    I needed the rest and recovery time.   Things will just have to wait What changes could I make to reduce illness? Shift your mindset Do I have a back up plan?   Way too many times, I hear my clients say, there is no one else, It’s me.   I just want you to take a hard look at yourself and your situation.     There may be a time where you can’t and it may not even be your fault or your choice.   Find your team.  Ask for help. Reach out to a neighbor, friend or family member.  It could be as simple as, watching for a package that your parent is expected to get today.  To someone offers to pick up groceries at the store.  Take them up on it.  Grab the show notes here  ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode128Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️Support the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

I woke up this morning and felt like I was walking in mud.   Everything  seemed to be little struggles slowing me down.  One of my shoe laces broke,  then couldn’t find my ear buds, having to run around the house looking for them,  the dogs were barking in the garage waiting for mom,  I walked outside, realizing I needed a sweatshirt and then finally on my walk.  Well on my walk, the dogs stop and do their duties.  I carry little bags with me to pick up their do do.  Guess what,  the bag had a hole in it.   Yuck.    When you have these kind of days, your brain keeps playing tricks on you.  You start believing the universe is out to get you.  When they’re really just minor challenges.    But what did I do,  I got frustrated, angry and my internal body starts stressing.    Within minutes of getting frustrated, I had to talk with my inner brain and tell her that this.  Why am I wasting my energy on a hole in the bag.  When am I wasting my energy on my ear buds missing.   As a caregiver you’re bound to experience challenges and frustrations each day.   It’s inevitable, but when you experience these, my wish is that your do the work and pause and ask yourself, what and why.   What is causing me to stress?  What is my mind telling me?  Why am I using this energy to stress?   I’ve been truly working on this each and every day.   I want to choose my responses to stress.  I want to choose how much energy I want to put into the challenge?   You have a choice each morning, each moment and each evening.   This week, my mom, brother and I made the choice to get a hospice consult.  Mom is lung cancer is progressing and her fatigue, pain and malnutrition is getting the best of her.   Here I go again, I thought to myself.  I started feeling all the worry, frustration, grief and uncertainty.   But now that I understand chronic stress, how my body responds and more, I can take charge of me during this time.   Accepting that my mind wants to go to the negative thoughts which are meant out of love and feelings for my mom.  But I also know I need to take care of myself.  I’m much more experienced in this caregiving world.  I know how the bad stress will affect me.   So I spend a couple days journaling.  What I don’t want during this difficult time.   At the bottom of the page, I wrote - I want to be a daughter first.  Then, I flipped the page over and journaled how I could manage this challenging time.   You can start this practice anytime, my friend.  You don’t have to wait for the next challenge.  Grab that journal or go for a walk or sit with your favorite beverage and reflect on what you really want to be during this time.  How you want to reach it?  You can choose a healthy, joyful caregiving experience and when challenges come, you can process them.   It takes imperfect effort and work.  But when you take step towards it, you will feel better Be courageous and choose your way.  Grab the show notes here  ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode127Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircleIf you're interested in 1:1 Coaching  ➡️   DM Cathy  @cathylynnvanSupport the show Thank you for listening. Follow me by clicking on the links below: Join the Caregiver Cup Circle ❤️ If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration