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Covid-19 and Your Relationship  

In business, it’s totally acceptable, and recommended to see business consultant.  I work as a consultant in the business world… sales, leadership, peak performance, mindset, game planning… I get hired to go into companies and share my expertise.   (Based on 35 years of working and consulting with companies around the globe) Business Consulting is an accepted practice - Normal - Expected - Progressive Example:  You’re a president, CEO or even VP of sales… and you want to improve the performance of your sales team, you either bring an expert in to work with your team… or you do it yourself.  If you could do it yourself, you probably would’ve done it already. So you bring in the expert. Imagine your sales team struggling, yet you as the leader didn’t bring in any help, you just lashed out and got mad… how do you think that would work? Step ONE:  Recognize and acknowledge that YOU or you and your partner need help.  In your biz, if your sales team is struggling, you must bring in an expert and change some things.  If you and your partner are struggling, you must acknowledge that and be proactive.   Dan’s perspective: Often times - an association or stigma attached to counseling or therapy.  (Yes in my life). Sign of weakness. No one in my family ever saw counseling as far as I know… and we had a plethora of divorces. Message to MEN: get over it. Get rid of your ego and look at yourself as a free thinker, and innovator… someone who is going to change the game.  Change the result.   Step TWO: It’s OK. - No one is perfect, and we are complex individuals… with different backgrounds and beliefs… and we often times need help.  We have negotiators, advisors and boards of directors to guide us in business, we must have the same mentality in our relationships. Step THREE: Find an expert that feels good to both of you.  This is a negotiation or a discovery: Together Separate Male Female   Must go into the situation with an open mind and a mindset to improve. If you sincerely don’t want to save your relationship, don’t waste your time.   Step FOUR:  Do the work   Some go to counseling for YEARS with no progress b/c they are not committed to doing the work. Some go to appease their spouse Some my think they don’t need it. JUST DO IT   Summary: if you need help, get an expert, lower your ego and do the work.

Episode 43: The LEAD Measure... How to Get MORE of what you want. In business, experts talk about working on the lead measure to increase sales. For instance, a life insurance company often times sets it’s accountability or measurement piece on what’s called the LEAD measure, not the result.  For instance, to determine if the life insurance rep will his or her quota, they often times measure the “meetings” or "appointments" with the “qualified family” vs measuring the actual sales themselves. The meeting with the “couple” LEADS to the purchase of the insurance policy… so the LEAD measure for an insurance sales manager is how many appointments do my reps have vs how many policies they’ve sold. Looking at the sales is like driving in the car and looking in the rear view mirror. They've already happened.  Measuring “appointments” will give you an indication of the reps success. Ideas of LEAD Measures in your Relationship Having meaningful conversation (attention men) Being good at listening Doing something nice for him or her (what did you do when you were dating) Taking a walk… talking Running an errand together (divide and conquer) Offer to make a special meal (give him or her the night off) Flowers at work (for women)  Take him to lunch.. or send lunch to his desk. Act of Kindness… or thoughtfulness. Being Present

Episode #43: Married and Lonely Jennifer reads post:  (Being lonely within marriage with hopes of being seen and heard) Examples: Two Examples of friends Three Elements of a Successful Relationship Positivity Consistency Vulnerability Consistency is usually taken care of with the context of marriage or relationship so it is always the vulnerability or positivity that will be lacking. There are two times you can fix this - In the beginning of your relationship AND after you’ve been in it for any number of years…  Below are questions to ask yourself about your relationship… if you answer yes to any of these, then both elements could be lacking. And don’t worry, we’ll give you a guide on how to fix them. Let’s start with early on in the relationship: Pre-marriage or early marriage questions to uncover red-flags: Being “best-friend” first is paramount   Internal questions: Do you feel like you can share life-challenges with your partner? Do you feel “seen” and acknowledged? Do you feel heard? Do you feel like you can share life goals, or your hopes and dreams with your partner… and feel supported. Are there things that bother you about your partner that you’re afraid to share with him/her   Early Relationship Solution: If you’re early in your relationship, meaning still dating, you’ll need to really look at this and ponder if this is something you need to feel more comfortable doing, meaning, are you innately afraid of being vulnerable? Is this something you need to work on to deepen your relationships? Or, if you are able to do this in previous relationships and you don’t have it with your current partner, is truly the person for you? Long - Term Relationship Solution: (Softeners Section)  Take your partner on a date… or something interactive… LIKE A TEAM BUILDING! Companies use this to break down walls and barriers! (Sidestepping or overcoming FEAR) New Episode Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST

Making relationships EASY… or as Easy as possible.   People get caught up in “moments” when ppl act a certain way: Maybe they are dismissive, or distant...non-responsive. Often times we IMMEDIATELY think… it’s US or “They are such a jerk.” We are all human We are all going through something Two of the FOUR AGREEMENTS: (Don Miguel Ruiz) Don’t Take Anything Personally Don’t Make Assumptions.   Don’t Take Anything Personally - Easier said than done. It’s a skill that you practice Life long practice “Everyone’s going thru their own stuff! Nothing others’ do is because of YOU.When someone short or dismissive, it’s not about you. It’s their own character defects   What others’ say and do is a Projection of their own reality. Friend in WA Jennifer’s See Agency Webinar Other’s opinions come from their own reality When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless sufferingSocial Media Post How you dress This happens when you practice one and two.   Action Steps: Think VR Video Game: When you see picture of others in your mind, see them playing a different VR game than you are. Think & RESPOND… versus REACT. (It’s a skill you develop) Adopt the philosophy: You’re not responsible for how others feel or what they do. Book - It’s none of my business what you think about me. Be Curious vs Reacting:  Hmm… why are they acting that way.Question: “Is there something going on” Be Proactive:  Think right now… where have I, or where do I get triggered by someone… Next time this happens, I’m going to get curious verses jumping into your old pattern. Work on Forgiving Yourself First   New Podcast Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST

Episode #25: Investing in Your Success  We Talk about business.  When businesses are stagnant, they are neither growing or declining…  In relationships, if we are not engaged, talking, connecting, we are becoming stagnant, and like a business… will not grow.  In relationships… staying in a state of stagnation, will lead to disengagement and disinterest. Companies that are moving forward are always innovating… moving forward.  The same thing in a marriage.   Simple end of day with partner… how was your day?... yet not really listening or being present. Often times it’s a “throw away” conversation…. something that just happens, yet it’s surface. Having surface conversations with your partner is similar to going to a company leadership meeting and not being present…. over time, you are disassociated with the vision and the mission. What you put in is what you get out…  As time goes by…  With some relationships… the sex is the communication.  Nothing much after that. Steven Covey… building up emotional deposits…. into the bank of love. What would you do if you were dating that person.   Action Steps: If you business is stagnant, it’s NOT going to magically change… same for relationships If you wanted to improve a certain part of your business, what would you do? Dr. Gottman - Dreams. Hi Honey… how was your day?: Act "AS IF" you are doing research. "As if" you care. Act AS IF you are writing a story about it.Dysfunction in business… and there is also dysfunction in relationships.  My ex… didn’t want to ask her, because she would literally talk for an hour.  You have a choice… if you disengage, your relationship will struggle. Act as if YOU ARE STILL Still Dating. Create a ritual. Before dinner… let’s you and me take 30 mins. Response Ideas:How does that make you feel? What do you think about that? Tell me more about that? Have you thought about your next steps? New Podcast Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST

Episode #39 How to Ask for What You Want Again - different individuals with different upbringings and different models of the world. Some ppl don’t know how to ask for what they want… and it causes challenges… b/c they complain or place blame rather than simply asking. Almost a covert, passive aggressive manner… and often times don’t even know it.   Examples:   My Mom:    I’m so tired of this hospital food all-day everyday….    My sister, who has turned her life upside down attempting to make my mom comfortable and safe… she feels inadequate… or has the need to make her happy.   ...and so my sister is dancing around attempting to find a solution by saying, would you like to go out to eat today…    Challenge is with complaining or casting this negative general statement… is that it puts the responsibility on someone else to figure out what you want.which isn’t fair to that person… what are they mind readers?     2. The person NOT asking for what they want is always disappointed because the OTHERS don’t know                 know how to read their mind. Constantly disappointed - (Because they don’t know how to ask) Example: My previous marriage: Messy kitchen table - drop off spot. I didn’t know how to ask… (my mom and dad) So I let the frustration build up inside of me… self talk. Then… something else happens… and there’s an upset. Business situation… we are more proactive to make something happen.  Expectations are more clear.   Action Steps: When you have the urge to complain about something, ask yourself, “what do I really want right now?” Take a Breath -  Rather than expressing what’s wrong, express “what would be great” Recognition - Self Analysis:  Personal Growth. New Podcast Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST

Episode #37: Relationship Myths Continued #2 Closure is Essential:  Erica McCurdy, a certified master coach informed me, "Closure is overused and rarely gives either side the answers and mental rest that the client imagines it will. We often want closure when we have failed to address a situation at the time it took place. Because we have allowed time to pass, we have stewed, anguished, agonized over unimportant issues until they have grown into something much bigger than they ever needed to be."   Her advice? "Drop closure off at the curb, it's not your friend. Pick a new place to hang out and move on."   Jennifer:  If they feel they need closure, it’s more to rehash things rather than moving on. If you handle a situation properly, you won’t need closure later.   In business… if I am the the VP of sales and I’m having an issue with one of my sales reps…   You typically assess the situation Make decisions about where the “challenge was” Find a solution Move on   In a relationship… the emotions are wound up a bit tighter… and we typically feel like we want “closure”...  It’s OFTEN TIMES because “they” don’t get what they need… and keep going.   Maybe take a bit… and assess. 2. Marriage or Bust The pressure of social norms.  We have get married. “Daniel and Hayley…” There is no norm… anymore. In business, many ppl are now breaking out of what was the norm…. getting a job, etc.  In the past… social norm was to get an education and get a good job and retire. Now, the script has been flipped….  If being an entrepreneur makes you happy, working 9-5pm will kill you. Maybe just being in a healthy, loving relationship is perfect… without the paper.   Trust Your Family and Friends advice   Licensed mental health counselor Daryl Cioffi told me, "I often find that my couples have warped senses of healthy behaviors in their relationships. Some of the worst advice comes from friends and family members because they themselves have unhealthy relationship patterns." Summary:   Closure is essential… it’s NOT Essential. Sometimes you need to assess Marriage or Bust - Do what’s right for you Trust Your Family and Friends Advice - Check the Source   Cultivate Health Intuition and Relationship habits. Dr. Barbara Winter notes that, "Bad advice from an expert is telling someone exactly what to do: get a divorce, break up, end the relationship, albeit romantic, familial, business, etc." This kind of pointed, instructive guidance, then, should not be heeded from experts, no matter how well-meaning or logical it may sound. Rather, the expert's job is to guide their patient into making healthy, heartfelt decisions on their own. Dr. Winter continued, "It's not bad advice when we recommend how to best engage, speak, or treat a partner to make a relationship healthier." So learn how to be an active listener who can make the most out of what you're told from professionals. Interrogate a situation and use the wisdom you have to make the best decisions. And listen to your heart. New Episode Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST

Episode #37:  How to Keep the Relationship HOT  The Relationship Accelerator YOU married your partner or in a relationship with our partner for specific reasons: What are they?  Hot? Loving? Caring? Sexy? Great Father? Responsible?   So how about letting them know?   People tend to communicate/let people know early in the relationship. People need reinforcementif you don’t give it to them… someone else will. Action Steps:    Use positive language Compliment for things you married them for/or are with them forspontaneous loving thoughtful When you “TELL” someone who they are… they WANT to hit that mark.  (IDENTITY) Be consistent Don’t be a pussy. New Episode Drops Every Sunday Morning at 8am PST

Episode #36: Carpe Diem   The Show Black Mirror show Recap…   Potential situations of the show: First Date sucks… are the app say for 5 years/10 years First Date Great… app says together for 3 weeks.     In the episode… the date went so well, they didn’t want to look   Using Similar Psychology… If you didn’t know how long you would be with your current partner, how would you treat him/her If you didn’t know how long you would be with him/him when you got together, would it have made a difference in how you treated him/her. So here we are today… no matter where you are… you’re there…   You can start fresh.   Dan’s disease - Changed my behavior.   People think there’s always time.   In Business, if you own a biz… there may be a great 5 or 10 year run in your specific industry… YOU NEED to MAX that out.  Or maybe you have an amazing sales manager… and he/she may take their talents elsewhere if they don’t feel fulfilled both financially and psychologically.  So you wouldn’t take things for granted with a valuable employee, you want to do what’s necessary to keep him/her producing at a high level.  Terry Fator - 10 years running: NOT taking things for granted. Always working on himself and the show.   Action Steps: Find appreciation every single day. (Seriously)     2. Ask Quality Questions:  What can I do today to make my partner smile? What can I do to make my partner’s life easier? What if we only had 2 years left, how would I treat him/her      3. Repeat and Create a Success Habit   New Episode Drops Every Sunday Morning at 8am PST

Episode #35 Q&A #2   Devin - Kennesaw, GAHey guys… love your podcast, and I am watching your podcast with my wife on Sunday mornings. She introduced it to me, reluctantly I might add. Sorry to say. I really liked it though. So we listen to it together which has been great. My question is: my wife works full time, as do I.  I wish she would cook more. After work, she says she’s too tired and then picks up some take out and we often times eat out of a bag at the kitchen table. That’s ok sometimes, yet it seems we are getting farther and farther away from a home cooked meal. Do you have any suggestions for me?   Jean from Melbourne, AustraliaI LOVE your podcast.  Please, please, please… I am single and I’m ready to mingle!  I have such a difficult time connecting with men that I find interesting. I work in the financial industry and I’m around men all the time. Most of them I don’t find interesting or someone I’d enjoy spending time with, SIGH. Where are the interesting MEN?   Paul - St. Petersburg, RussiaYou two look like so much fun together. I’m not good at meeting women. I don’t feel confident. Dan, what would you tell me? I’m 32 and single.   Lena - Leipzig, GermanyYou two are so cute, so fun. In our German culture, we are not raised to share feelings. Often times people would say we are stoic. I would like my husband and I to be more happy together. We are happy, not too much talking though. Do you think we can get better. My husband did watch your last episode with me and he liked it. He said Dan looks similar to his uncle!   New Episode Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST    

Episode 34: Don’t Make Assumptions Mind Reading - and NLP term that simply says how we “read someone’s mind” about what they are going to do or how they are going to respond. It’s easier said than done… Friends of ours... Making assumptions of why, what he is thinking, and what he is going to do when she approaches him. This person felt: Business example:  Email that was sent out and there was no response: Assumptions: You don’t like what I said You don’t want to participate You’re being selfish by not responding She felt?  helpless... Waiting at an airport for a flight to go home… and you see someone in the distance that you recognize… and for a moment, you think they saw you, yet they turn around and walk away. Assumptions: They ignored you. They don’t like you enough to engage You FELT:  alone, unliked, questioning did something happen…  We are wired to make assumptions: Steps:   Be Mindful and Present:  Getting back to being curious and questioning your own thought process. Because “what if” that’s not the case… Another example:  Jennifer Action Steps:   Rather than making assumptions, GET CURIOUSTake a Breath - pause Question your thought processwhat other things could be possible here? Has he/she ever done something to intentionally hurt or harm you? Underlying Belief: Your partner wants to help you and/or protect you. Address the situation HOWPre-frame:  Because Frame… linking to wanting the best.   New Podcast Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST

Episode 33:  Level Up Your Leadership Skills Leadership skills are paramount to grow a business.  If you were going to hire someone to help you grow your business, what type of skills would you want? Go ahead and write down 3 characteristics of a great leaders.    Leaders in business:   Do what you say you’re going to do. Make Decisions that are for the greater good. Good Listener - When Necessary Sense of Balance Honest Good Communicator Has a Game plan Not Being afraid to Tell the truth. Dan:  Phil Jackson, Tony Robbins, Peter Boesen, My Dad,  Jennifer: Doug Johnson,    Action Steps: Let’s go through the 8 listed leadership qualities and rate yourself along with your partner. Do what you say you’re going to do Make Decisions that are for the Greater Good Good Listener - When Necessary Sense of Balance Honest Good Communicator Has a Game Plan Not Being Afraid to Tell the Truth   New Business of Love Podcast Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST

Episode #32: Great Relationships are Messy, Just Like Great Sex   Our Relationship is as STRONG as it’s ever been, yet it had to get a little messy first. Even though we knew how to communication and ways to connect, life takes over sometimes.   Jennifer Story -  being afraid going through disease… Habits were formed… If you’re upset at how you are being treated by your partner, you’re partly at fault. People think when you find the love of your life… things will be perfect.  And when things aren’t SMOOTH… people get discouraged.     BUT, that moment is the opportunity for GROWTH. IN BUSINESS - when things start to unwind, or slow down… you have the opportunity to create something new DISRUPTION - Business Parallel  CEO’s Fear Disruption.  (Tim Sanders) - How to stay agile/moveable - GRAPH Summary - Marriage is Messy / Great Sex is Messy   First few times.. giving it your best Messy until you know what you are doing.   ACTION STEPS Psychological side … you need to know that no matter how great your marriage is, you’re gonna have some messy spots… and that’s good. When you See something SAY something - Later means worse. Talk to your Partner in a non-blaming fashion - “We” and Because frames. Follow Your Heart New Podcast Drops Every Sunday Morning at 8am PST

Episode 39: Monthly Goals for Connection Marriage is a complex situation surrounded by moving parts that impact multiple areas of the relationship… and with kids, careers and everyday life, having a simple FUNDAMENTAL resource to help us win is both imperative and enjoyable. You hear people talk about date night…  and what that really is, is an ACTION strategy to keep us connected and interact outside of our family business. Think about it -  Most of us have multiple facets to our relationship: Careers Finances Accidents Injury Health Issues Kids Parents In-Laws Research tell us when WE are moving forward and HITTING a goal, we feel better about ourselves. When we share this experience with our partner, it can add depth to the relationship.   Monthly Goal Setting (MGS) Action Plan: On Your Own or with your Partner: Write down on paper things you would like to accomplish or things you have been thinking about doing for a while. Write them all down. You are going to pick two goals:The first goal is you MUST goal.  This is what you MUST accomplish this month.  Could be a project (building a deck), could be an activity (taking my daughter to see her Taylor Swift).. could be a personal activity - (working out 3x per week) or (reading to my kids every night).  The 2nd goal is a goal you would like to accomplish. Maybe it’s something you’ve been thinking about, yet you haven’t taken any action yet.Break that GOAL down into doable action steps. Example: Goal - Build a back porch.  Doable action steps moving toward could be:Make an inventory of all the supplies I”ll need to get started next month Find out the cost - making inventory of supplies. GET A NEW JOBThis month’s goal… get my resume together to I can get my name out there next month.   So, you have 2 goals. ONE MUST goal and one goal you are moving toward, yet that goal is broken down into doable steps. If you do this together, you can put on some music… have some wine and make it a 60-minute project together. Have some fun with it. If you are doing it alone…  then get together with your partner and go through your plan. At the end of the month… it does a few things: Gives you sense of accomplishment Self-Esteem goes up Have a deeper connection with your partner. Become their support system or cheerleader Share your results with your kids… learning experience. Action Plan: Set up MGS Action Plan with your spouse.  Do it now. You don’t have to wait for the start of the month.  You can do it now… and do a 2-week version. Get together and walk through your MGS Action plan.  Be OPEN and Vulnerable.  Let down the guard! Be positive Encourage if necessary yet DON’T check up on them. No Nagging Celebrate successes Talk about it when you fall short.   New Episode Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST

Episode 30: Marrying for Money or Love First of all, yes, you can do both. You can have both money, love AND happiness… you can have it all.  Jennifer, I want to interview you today… this is a topic that will be of interest both to women who are in the dating market… and men who are wondering if they can find the right woman for them.   So let me set this up: MONEY vs Love    Two parts here:  1st part:  From the female perspective: You are attractive, intelligent, fun… a laundry list of positives… I’m saying this from my perspective.  YOU Can have your choice of MEN. You married me…  and when you married me, I was two years out of a divorce and I wasn’t in the financial position that I could have been… yet you chose me.   So my question is… with today’s social media flaunters and what our society pushes as important… what was your strategy when you were single in regards to MONEY or LOVE?   Conversation:   Did you date wealthy men? Did you have a filtering system or standards for career choice? How did you know you made a mistake?   Now for the MEN: I want to hear you advice to MEN who aren’t CRUSHING it financially right now… what would you tell them?   Self-Esteem Self-Image Action Steps: Follow Your Heart  Money comes and Goes -   What is Important to YOU?   New Episode Every Sunday Morning at 8am PST

Episode #36: Relationship Myths  Talking about Common Bad Advice given by relationship experts… and we’re going to discuss it.   Don’t Go to Bed Angry Amy Serin, co-founder and Chief Science Officer of The TouchPoint Solution who holds a PhD in clinical psychology, believes otherwise. She told me, "Never go to bed angry is bad advice because many couples think they need to force themselves to try to resolve problems immediately to get them over with before bedtime. This can backfire because if one or both partners is angry, it's best to not discuss an issue until both partners are calm. Now it's a great thing if people can calm themselves down so they don't go to bed angry, but when this is difficult, it's best to go to bed angry and re-visit the problem at a time when both are calm."   Jennifer: “Explanation” -  going to bed is my “go to”.. my superpower. I love you, I’m irritable, I’m going to bed. In business…  assess the situation, then address it. You don’t have to handle it RIGHT NOW… maybe you need to think about it.  In relationships, ppl often time explode quicker. Take a minute. Always Be Forgiving   "'You always need to forgive' is bad advice for someone in a relationship who is being emotionally or physically abused. If someone does something that needs forgiving, it may be that the burden of change should be on them, not the person who was hurt."   Jennifer: Yes… expand - yet in a healthier relationship, forgiveness comes into play, yet so does being curious. Get Curious.    It’s NOT just forgiveness.    You can find understanding when you get curious.   In business, it’s not about forgiveness, it’s about “the reality of the situation”... in business, we have to produce, execute, hit our numbers, etc.  If the person, or vendor is not performing, you don’t just forgive, you ask questions to see if they are misunderstanding… or you get another vendor.     Find the root… and make certain it’s not happening again.     Dates are Like Job Interviews     On the surface, it makes sense to treat a first date (or the first few dates) the same way you would a job interview. In both situations, you're looking for a good fit that benefits both parties mutually, often for the long-term. But heading to your first date with a notebook of pointed questions for your future husband is not the best strategy. Sexologist and relationship expert Noni Ayana told me there's a better way to handle dating. "My top dating rule is 'date as if you're meeting a new friend, not a potential spouse.'  Jennifer: Expand - When Dating, ppl are their best selves and bring their representatives - when meeting a new friend, you’re more relaxed and more “yourself”   In Business, even though the interview process is commonly used, it’s not the BEST method to find a candidate.  They ALWAYS bring their best self… kinda like a first date. You don’t really get to know the employee until they are hired.   So in dating, I would agree to keep a more casual vibe in your first or early dates.   Summary: Don’t Go to Bed Angry.. and we firmly disagree… often times it’s good to let things cool and wake up with a new attitude. Always Be Forgiving - It’s not about forgiving.. it’s about the reality of the situation.  Get Curious Jennifer. Dates are Like Job interviews:  Too stiff… relax and let your personality flow.   New Episode Drops Every Sunday

Episode #28 Q & A #1   Q & A   Cindy from Denver: I just love your podcast and how you both communicate with one another with love and mutual respect. How can I get my husband to be more respectful when we communication   Yolanda - Orlando, FL My fiancee and I are planning our wedding and we’re having difficulties coming to an agreement on what type of wedding we want.  I want a more traditional wedding and he simply wants to share our vows and basically have a party. We are just getting started and I am coming undone!! HELP       Travis - Lawrence, KS. My wife and I have been married for 6 years. Overall a solid relationship. Our son T2 is about to turn 2yrs old and we are having major issues on discipline and rules. I know that’s a broad question, yet do you have any suggestions for us to come together?       Gloria - Toronto, Canada I just love you guys… thanks for much for what you do!!  Well, my husband and I have been married for 8 years. We’ve had our ups and downs, yet overall, our marriage is solid. I’m 35 yrs old, my husband is 45… and I need more sex. It’s difficult to communicate with him about that as he seems to take offense.  Jennifer, what would you do?   New Episode Drops Every Sunday Morning at 8am    

Episode #27: The 5 Stages of Marriage... and a Business 1. Romance   2. Reality - Chemical changes from oxytocin… then the little things can annoy you. Messy bathroom Being Short The NORMALness of life. Bills, kids, challenges. 3. Resentment - Resentment builds without the Power of Conversation. (can of soda) 4. Rebellion - Is what happens if you DON’T deal with Resentment.   Shopping too much Not coming home right away. Drinking Out with Friends Cheating 5. Renewal/Restoration - Always begins from the HEART   Not about changing them - YOU MET THEM THAT WAY It’s about seeing them different. Coming from Appreciation rather than judgement. Action Steps 1. If you KNOW that when you enter a marriage or relationship, you have the 5 Stages of marriage, just the same in Business… then you are more prepared for the journey. 2. If you KNEW… you would see it differently 3. Enjoy the Romance 4. Understanding the “Reality Stage” is not the end of the romance, its’ the beginning.  It’s when you “prove” yourself to each other. 5. If or when you hit resentment… YOU MUST have conversations. without conversation, the RESENTMENT grows… Softeners - frames 6. We hope you don’t find the Rebellion Stage. If you find yourself in Rebellion…    go get some professional assistance.  Take Responsibility.  (If you LEAVE.. you have to take yourself with you) 7. The KEY to get to RENEWAL and Restoration is to find appreciation for your partner (or your job).   Putting yourself back to when you were in love (or just started) Journal Doing things for your partner that you know makes them happy.   New Podcast Every Sunday Morning at 8AM PST

Episode #33: Do the Work, Just don’t Talk About It We see people talking about what they are going to do or what they should do in the areas of personal development and religion People talk about change but they don’t really do it Secondary gain - they get to complain and talk about how dramatic their life is yet they get to talk about how much they know. A need for recognition - instead of actually live it, they just talk about it The problem with that is, (at first, the person is awesome - but then after a time you find out it’s not the truth and you lose respect Often times we know so many tools to help our lives and relationships yet, once we stop reading the book, leave church or the seminar, we tend to not utilize or put into action what we’ve learned.  Why? We truly are creatures of habit… We have to replace behaviors not just change behaviors.  Why be attached to the drama of your life? If you talk about God principles or personal development tools, work with them and put them into action daily   Action Steps: When you’re tempted to go into the drama or story about something you’re experiencing, stop and ask yourself…    If we’re talking to you then attempt to be more cognizant of things that you’re sharing - have more discretion about what you're sharing.    Start out small and then go and complete something.    Another secondary gain is the insecurity so they can prove that they’re so knowledgeable.  (You see this in business all the time)   New Episode Drops Every Sunday Morning at 8am PST