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26 minutes | Aug 5, 2018
Episode 30 - A Return to Sexual Innocence
It seems not a day goes by lately where we don't turn on the television or receive a banner headline on our phones announcing that another powerful man has been fired or simply "outed" for his abusive sexual conduct. The Me Too movement has brought the "dis"-ease that has been festering in our sexual culture for as long as we can remember into the spotlight. In my view, these phenomena are borne of fear and separation, first and foremost. Separation not only in our perception of other people as being "other" than us, but also in how we tend to split our sexual selves off from the rest of our "acceptable" selves. That leaves us with a shame soaked and highly charged and fearful sexual self that tries its best to hide its existence from the rest of the world. In this episode I talk about a vision I have where each of us returns to a state of pure beingness that is synonymous with our sexual energy, and that if each of us learns to love and accept that beingness, that energy within ourselves, we will approach each interaction with another from a place of love. In support of this vision, I share a quote from one of my favorite spiritual resources, "Teaching the Law of One" otherwise known as the Ra material. The quote describes an experience of sexual fusion as "the complete melding of the mind, the body, and the spirit in what feels to be a constant orgasm, shall we say, of joy and delight each in the other's beingness." That quote is the closest thing I have found to the experiences I've had of empathic orgasms that I've written about before. The form of energy exchange that comes from this sort of interaction is far more deeply fulfilling than anything physical I have ever experienced. And I feel it's where we are headed in evolution. Inherent in this experience is a sense of pure innocense ... a feeling that our sexual energy is simply the energy we are made of and that shame has absolutely no place there. This idea of sexual innocence is an area I intend to delve deeply into in the coming months. I have this vague sense that sexual energy is so much more than just the energy we use when we engage in sex with a partner. I have a sense it's like spiritual rocket fuel, capable of propelling us into vast and faraway spiritual landscapes. But I don't know how or what that looks like yet.
34 minutes | Jul 22, 2018
Episode 29 - Can Vaginal Orgasms Be Learned?
I've known for many years that the challenge of having vaginal orgasms that many of us struggle with was a thing. But when I saw the issue crop up in the story line of the popular HBO Series "Girls" I said, "a-HA" it is a thing. A big thing! If you're here, you probably know that too, and you may be wondering, can vaginal orgasms be learned? In this episode I start by answering this question in the emphatic affirmative ... YES, yes they can be learned! Then, because there are so many of us who have not experienced them yet, and I emphasize YET, I next describe what vaginal orgasms feel like in my experience. I do that because they are qualitatively different than the peak clitoral orgasms that many of us are used to. I believe it helps in learning this new skill to know what you're looking for. Next I talk about what it takes to teach yourself how to have vaginal orgasms. Some of the things we need to work on when trying to train our bodies to experience this include: - bringing your beliefs in line with the new experience you want to have; - becoming aware of your energy field or body; - tuning in to the energy sensations of various parts of your body; - directing your focus on awakening the energy within your genitalia; - redirecting your attention away from clitoral stimulation and toward stimulation elsewhere; - beginning very gradual and gentle physical stimulation within your vagina; - learning to relax completely to allow pleasure to flow and expand. Throughout the episode I share many of my own experiences leading up to learning to have vaginal orgasms to provide a real world application of these principles. One last nugget I will throw out there is that while learning to have vaginal orgasms may be the goal on your mind right now, once you get there, you will realize that the gifts that will come to you from learning this skill within your body will far outweigh the actual orgasmic sensations. I think of vaginal orgasms as a sort of gateway to sacred sex. Once you open that gate, the possibilities for exploration and discovery are vast.
38 minutes | Jul 8, 2018
Episode 28 - The Missing Link to Sustainable Sex
The epidemic of sexless marriage is not news. Unfortunately it is all too common. In fact, the vast majority of us who have been in long term relationships have experienced the phenomenon of sex becoming less and less frequent. This week I share my take on what is needed in order to experience sustainable sex.
47 minutes | Jul 1, 2018
Episode 27 - 7 Things I'm Embarrassed to Tell You
In this episode I'm doing something a little bit different. I'm following the example of several of my favorite podcasters and revealing several things that I'm embarrassed to tell you. The topic of sexuality is so incredibly vulnerable, and I want to make sure you know that despite the amazing energy experiences I've had, I'm as complex and flawed as the next person. My hope is that my ordinary foibles and fears will be something you can identify with, and that you will then think, "Huh, if someone as messed up as she is can figure this stuff out, I surely can!" In this episode I share seven of the things I'm most uncomfortable with about myself. From relationship failures to personality flaws to a ridiculous focus on weight. I lay it all out there. The thing I've noticed that is cool about age is that those things from your past that used to make you do a hard cringe now only make you go "meh." So while I'm still embarrassed about the things I share, they don't keep me up at night. Generally. Still I think there was a part of the younger me that assumed I'd feel fully cooked by now. Nope. Still stewing. I would love to hear from you ... tell me what your top three embarrassments are.
20 minutes | Jun 24, 2018
Episode 26 - How Long is This Gonna Take?
I'm no different than you in that when I'm considering trying something new to help with a health issue or other challenge I'm having, one of the things I really want to know is how long is this gonna take? We want to see results as fast as possible, am I right? And who can blame us? Usually by the time we try to make a change, we're uncomfortable as hell! But sometimes things take longer. And a lot of us give up way before we've given something a chance. It's a process. You're unlearning old habits and retraining yourself to focus on subtler sensations and making a whole lot of other changes that may or may not yield obvious external results right away. The main point I make in this podcast episode is that the journey itself is the reward when it comes to sexual expansion. Each person will make their own unique discoveries along the way in no particular order. Each person will have little victories and enormous triumphs. But the path is so incredibly individual, that to focus on the time it takes will most definitely be counterproductive. We must, MUST, be lovingly patient with ourselves. That's something of which a lot of us are woefully out of practice. Here's a little trick, every time you find yourself thinking about how long it is taking for you to make "progress" toward your pleasure goal, stop and remember the areas of your life where you have put in effort over the course of time to learn a new skill: playing a musical instrument, learning to be good at an athletic sport, becoming a better writer or artist or singer. You name it. All those things took time, practice, and patience. Sexual expansion is no different.
16 minutes | Jun 9, 2018
Episode 25 - Does Size Really Matter?
I have received many emails from readers and listeners who are concerned about genital size, and so I wanted to share my perspective on the question "does size really matter" and hopefully help some of you find some peace on this topic. That's the topic of this week's short podcast episode. What surprises me is how often women are worried about whether their own size is too big, or loose, you might say. It points out to me how much we are focused on the friction of conventional penetrative sex as the be-all-and-end-all of pleasure. Not only that, but this concern seems to have as its genesis the question of whether we are pleasing the man enough. Listen, there are many ways to find pleasure, and a tight fit is only one small way. The more you tune into the energy within you, the less you will care about, or rely upon, this friction/fit equation to satisfy your desires. By that I mean that energy can pass back and forth with even the loosest fit between partners. Indeed, I taught myself to enjoy internal orgasms by using one skinny finger! So do your best to relax about size, and if you find it's on your mind, I urge you to look even more deeply into the possibilities of energy exchange. I've said this before, and will say it again, the mere presence of your partner's penis (or finger) within you can trigger waves of ecstatic pleasure. We don't need a tight fit and lots of friction.
18 minutes | Jun 4, 2018
Episode 24 - Not Your Mother's Kegels
If you've had children, or if you've reached middle age, changes are that your doctor at one time or another suggested you do Kegels. Did you do it? Like regularly? Probably not. Most of us do them for a little while after we are told to, and then promptly forget about it. Yeah, that's normal! Guess what? There's treasure to be found in doing internal exercises. I found, though, that the way Kegels are traditionally taught didn't do much for me. But let's start with what Kegels are. Simply put, they're exercises for the pelvic floor muscles. They're named after a gynecologist named Kegel (who was male, by the way, and many women feel strongly these exercises should be renamed!). They're often suggested prior to and after childbirth to help keep your pelvic floor muscles toned and healthy. Healthy and toned pelvic floor muscles help with incontinence or problems with prolapse (where your internal structures start to sag and "fall out" through your vagina, as alarming as that sounds). But they are also often recommended for the purpose of improving your enjoyment of penetrative sex. Around the time that I was motivated to learn to have vaginal orgasms, I started doing Kegels. But I played with variations on the method for doing the exercises, and the variations seemed to make all the difference! In this episode on the podcast I talk about this variation and what it did for me and might do for you. It's worth taking another look at these tired old exercises. It might be a doorway to pleasure you haven't experienced before. Have fun!
23 minutes | May 22, 2018
Episode 23 - A New Look at the Clitoris
How is it possible, I ask you, that I could have reached the age of 50 before I learned about the existence of the internal structures of the clitoris?! There is a vast internal landscape of erectile tissue that most of us were never taught about, that's how. They didn't even teach it in medical school anatomy classes. And based on my own explorations around these internal structures, I suspect that we have only just begun to understand the potential of this amazing organ of pleasure. This week we take a new look at the clitoris ... just in case, like me, your education left you wanting. She might even be a doorway to another dimension! I'm only kidding ... sorta. If you've been able to experience orgasm, whether alone or with another, chances are that you experienced that orgasm as a result of manual stimulation of the external portions of the clitoris—the glans and the shaft. Most of us who have will never forget the first time that orgasm crashed over us. It's a big experience, to be sure. But the glans and the shaft are less than 10% of the total acreage of the clitoris, and the rest of the landscape, together with the 10% we know, is capable of transporting us into extended orgasmic states. Yes, you heard me right. In this episode I talk describe these internal structures for those of us (and there are many!) who have not yet been introduced. I explain how we need to begin to understand and play with the erectile nature of these internal structures so that we can FINALLY enjoy penetration the way it was meant to be enjoyed. And I also explain the vibratory qualities of the whole clitoral organ. I like to think of the clitoris like a tuning fork. As you can see by the picture here, it bears some resemblance to one, but that's not why. It's like a tuning fork in the way that a small amount of stimulation can set the whole thing vibrating in a pleasing way. Even mental stimulation can set the crura humming! I like this analogy also because it also illustrates what can happen if you use too much pressure—it can dampen the vibrations or even stop them altogether. Not what we're aiming for, right? So the next time you have an opportunity to play with your clitoris, whether alone or with a partner, try thinking of it this way and visualize it vibrating and be mindful of the subtle kinds of stimulation that will keep it humming. As I'm so often inclined to do, in this episode I once again mention Sheri Winston's book, Women's Anatomy of Arousal. It's just one of the best resources for understanding the entirety of the female pleasure system.
32 minutes | May 14, 2018
Episode 22 - The Foundations of Healing - Part 3
Today I share the final episode in my three-part series deconstructing the foundations of what allowed the unfolding of my experience of ecstatic energy. If you haven't listened to Episodes 20 and 21, you might want to check those out first. As part of the course I'm creating to help others tap into their own pleasure potential, I found it helpful to examine what was happening in my life before my awakening to see if I could harvest any principles that might be applicable to others. I have come up with several foundations that I believe contributed to my healing and this week I share the last four of those with you in this third installment of the three-part series. In this episode I talk about the following four foundations of healing: 1. Letting Go of Shame 2. Resensitizing my Vagina 3. Commitment 4. Trust As part of today's discussion, I share how I first heard the notion through Sheri Winston that one might be able to learn to have vaginal orgasms. This was a completely new idea to me and one might say an incredibly revolutionary one. I had previously believed that you were either born lucky or not, that either you could have them "naturally" or not. Hearing her talk empowered me to begin experimenting, and I was shocked to find out just how possible it was!
31 minutes | May 7, 2018
Episode 21 - The Foundations of Healing - Part 2
This week's episode is a continuation of last week's exploration into the building blocks that were in place in my life that I believe allowed the unfolding of my experience of ecstatic energy. If you haven't listened to Episode 20, I suggest you list to that one first. The bottom line is that I figured this all out on my own, and more or less in the dark. But I really want to teach others to tap into this energy for themselves, so I'm working on a more expansive course right now to try to do that. As part of that work, I took it upon myself to deconstruct what was happening in my life before my awakening to see if I could harvest any principles that could be applicable to others. I have come up with several foundations of healing your experience of sex and this week I share a few more of those with you in this second installment of the three-part series. Sometimes I wish I was teaching something more straightforward, like how to strip wallpaper from your old plaster walls (which is NOT fun and worth avoiding if you can), but this is not that. This is really individual and amorphous and subtle and frankly a little woo woo. But let me tell you, being on this journey of exploration has made me happier than I have ever been. I can't tell you enough how worth it this is to embark upon. In this episode I talk about the following four foundations of healing your sexual experience: 1. An Open Heart 2. Questioning Beliefs 3. Imagining Your Wildest Dream 4. Energy Meditation If you haven't read any posts or listened to my podcast episodes where I share my story, you might want to start with Episode 1 before listening to this three-part series. Next week I will share the last three foundations that helped set the stage for my experience of the incredible reinvention of my sexuality.
19 minutes | Apr 29, 2018
Episode 20 - The Foundations of Healing - Part 1
In the work I've been doing recently writing a book and creating a new course to help women move beyond their pleasure limitations, I endeavored to unpack, or deconstruct if you will, what was going on in my life before my awakening that helped to lay the groundwork for what later evolved. I have come up with several foundations of healing and this week I share a few of those with you in the first of a three-part series. Learning to awaken our sexual energy and expand into our potential for orgasmic pleasure is not a paint-by-numbers kind of undertaking. It's subtle and also very very big stuff. It's a form of art as nuanced as great acting or being a medical intuitive, and the path to becoming "successful" in this art is just as unclear as it is for those others. In this episode I talk about the following three situations that existed for me at the time of my unfolding that I feel were foundational: 1. hitting rock bottom 2. having a deep desire to change and grow, and 3. self acceptance (or the beginnings of self love)
54 minutes | Dec 9, 2017
Episode 19 - Barbara Carrellas Interview
Barbara Carrellas is the author of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty First Century. Barbara is the founder of Urban Tantra® — a philosophy, an international community, and an inclusive conscious sexuality practice—and the Urban Tantra® Professional Training Program, a comprehensive training program in the practice and application of conscious sexuality. She's been at the forefront of making Tantra accessible to everyone for decades. In this discussion we talk about many things, including how the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s lead her to seek out a truly safe sex practice, what her own first experiences with energy orgasms were like, and how sacred sexuality could contribute to healing during this time of reckoning in our culture of sexual harassment and abuse.
49 minutes | Nov 27, 2017
Episode 18 - Marilyn Milos Interview Part 2
Marilyn Milos is quite simply a force of nature. I just love this woman. She's the mother of a movement advocating for genital autonomy in the United States, and at 77 years of age and after nearly forty years of passionate work on behalf of babies, she is not about to slow down. As doctors continue to recommend circumcision on the unfounded bases of health and cleanliness, and as if it is no big deal, Marilyn is as determined as ever to continue bringing consciousness to this critically important issue. This is the second of my two part interview with Marilyn. In this episode we talk about the ways in which circumcision disrupts the normal functioning of the penis and vagina during intercourse thereby undermining both parties' capacities for pleasure, the harmful psychological effects on those subjected to infant genital mutilation, and foreskin restoration.
52 minutes | Nov 27, 2017
Episode 17 - Marilyn Milos Interview Part 1
Marilyn Milos is quite simply a force of nature. I just love this woman. She's the mother of a movement advocating for genital autonomy in the United States, and at 77 years of age and after nearly forty years of passionate work on behalf of babies, she is not about to slow down. As doctors continue to recommend circumcision on the unfounded bases of health and cleanliness, and as if it is no big deal, Marilyn is as determined as ever to continue bringing consciousness to this critically important issue. This is the first of my two part with Marilyn. In this episode we talk about how she became so passionate about the issue of genital mutilation, what exactly is done during a circumcision procedure, the traumatic physical and psychological effects on the baby, and the truth behind the profit motive and history of Victorian era sex-shaming morals behind the practice.
42 minutes | Nov 13, 2017
Episode 16 - Talking to Your Kids About Sex with Cath Hakanson
As a mother of pubescent children, I was eager to talk with someone whose focus is on how to educate our children about sex. I had read somewhere that we need to watch for "teachable moments" and that "the sex talk" more appropriately needs to be an ongoing age-appropriate dialog starting from a very young age and continuing well into adulthood. While I had tried to implement these approaches, I really didn't know if what I was doing was what this was supposed to look like. My guest this week helps take some of the mystery out of this scary process for all of us. Cath Hakanson is a mother, sex educator and founder of Sex Ed Rescue. Bringing her 20+ years clinical knowledge, a practical down-to-earth approach, and passion for helping families, Cath inspires parents to talk to their kids about sex so that kids can talk to their parents about anything! Sex Ed Rescue arms you with the tools, advice and tips to make sex education a normal part of everyday life.
74 minutes | Oct 22, 2017
Episode 15 - An Explorer's Journey with Chase Reeves
I know I mostly talk about women and the female experience of sexual energy in the work I do, but this week I'm excited to bring you a story from the male of our species. My guest is Chase Reeves, co-Owner of Fizzle, an online membership community offering courses, coaching and support for indie entrepreneurs. I got to know Chase after becoming a member of Fizzle back when I was trying to figure out how to build this website and start a blog and podcast. Chase's story is about his personal spiritual and philosophical journey where he eventually found his way to meditation and teachings about raising the vibration we experience and exude in our daily lives. In the process he appears to have triggered a kundalini energy awakening. He remains in the thick of learning how to work with and incorporate this energy into his everyday life.
44 minutes | Oct 7, 2017
Episode 14 - The Beautiful Vagina
In this first episode of Season 2 of the Blissrunner Podcast we discuss several issues facing women that impact their ability to enjoy vaginal intercourse, including shame, trauma, health and persistent pain.
33 minutes | Sep 11, 2017
Opening to Ecstatic Energy
On September 2, 2017, I shared my story of the challenges that lead to my complete disconnection from my sexual self and the unexpected energetic awakening that began my journey back to myself.
64 minutes | Aug 12, 2017
Episode 13 - Jim McCarty Interview
I've always had a keen interest in exploring consciousness, and my explorations into sexual energy have been but one facet of that interest. I have found myself wanting to dive deeper into the meaning of sexual energy, and in this episode Jim helps us with that deeper understanding. He explains the metaphysical properties of something called "sexual energy transfer." I have a very special guest on the show today, Jim McCarty, who will be talking about the nature of sexual energy transfer as presented in the books known as "The Law of One." Those of you interested in metaphysics and particularly channeled material will probably know of Jim and the work of L/L Research, the online archive for the Law of One and much much more. For those of you not yet familiar, but curious, all of the books and other writings are available in pdf form for free on the L/L Research website. In his more than three decades of research into the nature of reality and consciousness, and during his marriage to Carla Ruekert (the channel who spoke the Law of One material from a state of deep trance) Jim had many occasions not only to contemplate the meaning of sexual energy transfer, but also to experience the phenomenon first hand in his sacred sexual relationship with Carla. Jim McCarty is an interesting man with a very interesting perspective on sexual energy. I hope you enjoy this one!
47 minutes | Aug 12, 2017
Episode 12 - Betsy Blankenbaker Interview
Betsy writes about sensuality, spirituality and self-realization. After releasing her first book, Autobiography of an Orgasm, something unexpected happened. She began to hear from readers who thanked her for putting words to their own disconnection from their sensual energy and who shared their own stories with her She has published two volumes of these collected stories entitled Autobiographies of Our Orgasms, with a third volume coming out soon. The stories go beyond the physical to the emotional and spiritual experiences of being a woman. Women from all over the world share their raw truth and transparency of the moment they listened to their bodies instead of the messages coming from media, church, family and partners about how sex should look or feel. In her next book, Beyond O, Betsy discusses the consequences of speaking up in a culture where women’s voices are frequently dismissed or cut off. Betsy teaches Qoya and leads writing classes and retreats around all the world. You can find out where she is teaching, or invite her to teach at your studio or event on her website.
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