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The Blabsmiths with Matt & Lorne
32 minutes | Feb 16, 2017
052: An Insult to Alcohol
On the Blabsmiths this week we learn that Eddie Vedder is dangerous, argue for the standardisation of salsa labels, disagree about headphone collateral damage, discuss toast logistics, and lorne shares his opinion on spoon sharing etiquette. We also talk about jello shooters, giving up subway seats, tattoos and roll on deodorant.
33 minutes | Oct 30, 2016
051: Dream Small
This week we examine relationship between the art of microwave programming and the importance of being alert as well as that between amphetamines and truthfulness. We look at weirdness, the elements of pizza, icons, Mulholland drive, bribes and finally ask; What is the cloud?
30 minutes | Sep 28, 2016
050: Humans, Mostly Water.
In this our 50th episode, when we awoke from our amazement induced comas at our own podcasting prowess, we discuss important topics including; Robbie the Robot, hats on animal bones, arenas, bridges, filthy towels giant penes, Utopia, Aliens, and highlander.
32 minutes | Sep 6, 2016
049: Pizza is Sh*t
It may seem like we are living in a dystopian movie but things are getting better! After the earthquakes that is. Other things to consider are google transcribe alphaghetti, after shops, snack meats, burgers, pickles and burgers are great..
29 minutes | Aug 23, 2016
048: Tightrope Omelette
We may not swallow razor blades but we do examine circuses, greco-roman wrestling and violence in movies. Also, the discus is stupid.
35 minutes | Aug 10, 2016
047: Butter Cravings
This week it's no fluke that we are talking about road etiquette. We find that blond leaders suck, politicians are cynical, no one is ready for retirement, pepsi is horrible, goiters have gone out of style and health food isn't marketed well.
29 minutes | Aug 2, 2016
046: Got Junk?
We talk about a few things this week including shampoo and toothbrushes, but nothing is as contentious as the revelation that Lorne can’t stand looking at his own genitalia.
30 minutes | Jul 13, 2016
045: Head of Radio
In this week’s episode we discuss bacon packaging, credit cards, taxes, drummers and the police. But what we really can’t agree on is cheese.
31 minutes | Jun 21, 2016
044: Vegetable Candy
Whether you are riding trams of a bygone era or simply making bleating sheep sounds, men, put your shirts on. Spitting, phlegm, lollipops and portion sizes; it’s fun to reminisce about candy but if you are going to patronize a breastaurant, don't order the all dressed pizza because green peppers are worse than urine samples.
31 minutes | Jun 16, 2016
043: Squirrels of the Sea
I’ll say this, one really flew over this episode. We go from renting movies to destroying the human race in one thirty minute session. Is that a bummer? Probably not as bad as the XFL.
33 minutes | Jun 7, 2016
042: Heimlich is Passe
Anniversaries and Birthdays call for cakes, but if J-Crew Lorne has his way they would be cheesecakes and not cupcakes. Also, motorcyclists are inconsiderate and can go f**k themselves.
35 minutes | Jun 2, 2016
041: A Fort of One’s Own
When it starts with bathing in urine, you know you’re in for a treat. What’s next is Miracle Whip ketchup female A.I. and having a penchant for fortnights. Also we revisit the rock and and discuss the hero’s journey using non sequiturs.
29 minutes | May 26, 2016
040: Squid Mittens
Between lariats and cellos the king of beers declares that we are the world. 4 hours may be too long for Tom Petty and no one respects one-man-bands or double necked guitars, but if you play portugese grill roulette you better speak up because poor people are easier to steal from and why hasn't anyone built the world's largest vulva?.
31 minutes | May 17, 2016
039: No Relish For Relish
We live in a world where mustard and ketchup are necessary evils and we remember that all vinegar was once alcohol, but why ask directions anymore, in fact, why aren’t we all just working from home? We’d be more productive if not for procrastination. Finally, parks are very nice indeed but dog poop is everywhere.
30 minutes | May 11, 2016
038: It’s Fast Enough
In a world where 24/7 restaurants make carrying on your first name on your ideal holiday vacation with 80s casual sexuality no better than spitting in a urinal, consumers distributing Australian stereotypes show how Crock Dundee was cool even if we overhear someone explain it wrong.
27 minutes | May 4, 2016
037: Clown is not a Compliment
In this week’s episode Matt and Lorne discuss the unfortunate occupation of the clown and how it just isn't worth it anymore. We discuss the removal of shoes during public transportation and Lorne reveals his foot preferences and skill in detecting foot characteristics. We also talk about hiding from the government and what happens when you get three smile strikes.
29 minutes | Apr 27, 2016
036: Comedy Isn’t Funny
Just what is our life expectancy and why do actors take pills without water? Not only that but Shindler’s List and Jurassic Park released in the same year, while Lorne warns about fingerprint scanners and remembers all digital film and whether or not you prefer The Limey to Sexy Beast, time travel makes no sense and in the end, we are all going to be funny.
33 minutes | Apr 20, 2016
035: Babies on Bored (sic)
Venomous spiders, galvanized joints, termite life cycles, rear-view mirrors, a benediction of pantheists, the number of drops in a gimlet, seven dollars in cash and a pair of burlap socks are among topics Mall and Lorne will probably not talk about.
34 minutes | Apr 12, 2016
034: Warmed by a Stranger’s Butt
What is the flavour of green? What is spam? What is spearmint? Why are dentists so patronising? These questions are examined in cursory detail on the podcast this week along with nipple-pinching, arterial plaque, child labour laws and why England does your taxes for you. Did you know that Prince is his own person? He is! Just so happens it’s a person Matt hates. Lastly some advice; don’t ask for help on twitter unless you have a lot of followers.
31 minutes | Apr 6, 2016
033: Crack is So Over
In what has to be the best episode ever, Matt and Lorne discuss why personal singers are awkward but not quite as awkward as strip a’ grams in the workplace. Obviously this leads to the question of who the hell came up with the wedding night brothel tradition and other tropes of the end of the world. We also talk about mattresses, Vladimir Putin, the real sharing economy and consider if assassination really is a viable career.
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