Listen Now

As you know, in this crazy world, nothing is certain except for death and taxes. And of course, marriage. As surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, one day you will have to settle down and share your stuff with someone you think you can tolerate, but quickly grow to hate with the intensity of a thousand suns. The Bizzie Boys can't do much about death or taxes, but if you tune into today's episode, you'll at least be slightly more prepared to handle the hell-on-earth that we call "marriage".

Have you ever wished you could fly?   Have super strength?   Command a termite army to jack up your boss' house to teach him a lesson for making you stay late on that one Tuesday for no good reason (at least that's not how you saw it)?   Of course you have.   Everyone has wished they had special powers to make the impossible possible (although now that we think about it, with a little bit of effort, that termite thing could really happen). And that's what today's episode is all about! If this sounds fun, then tune in to hear the boys explore all the super powers they wished they had! (And on an unrelated note, do you know a good termite guy? We'd like to speak with him about a…..thing.)

If Corey had a dollar for every time his bachelor party turned into group therapy, he’d have exactly one dollar. Join the boys as they relive childhood traumas, fly past insecurities, and stay up to date on colon care as they plan out Corey's bachelor party in today’s episode - The Supercolonic!

What do pyramids, pet hippos, and Judas all have in common? If you said "They're all part of The Bizzie Boys' grand master plan to time travel back in time and embed themselves as deities in every major world religion." Then we'd say "Whoa dude, that's waaay too accurate to be just a guess. How'd you listen to this episode before it was posted? Wait, did we have a data leak?! Like on the one hand, that SUCKS. We feel confused and insecure. Unsure of how this came about, how to rebuild trust and how to move forward. But on the other hand, HELL YEA! We can't believe this podcast is big enough to get pirated! Just when we were getting ready to give up, this was the validation we needed to keep going! We're honored. Thrilled. And blushing :)." Anyway, this show is about time travel. Enjoy!

If you traveled back in time and told the boys this podcast would last longer than a year, they'd say "Whoa! You're from the future? That's wild! By the way, when did the pandemic end?" They would also probably mention something about being shocked they didn't get bored after recording 3 episodes. But 1 year later, and they're still going strong! In honor of this podcast lasting one whole year, the boys decided to do an anniversary special and reminisce about their favorite episodes. And then they realized that's a lame-ass idea and devoted the show to all those days you DON'T celebrate BUT totally should! Days like "Almost Got Fired Day", "Lying Anniversary", and "Just a Pregnancy Scare and Not Really a Baby Day" all make the Bizzie cut. Tune in to hear why those days and many others will soon be worthy of marking your calendar!

Have you ever held a grudge? Perhaps filed a grievance? Felt some resentment? Maybe just side-eyed some guy who totally deserved it but was also totally unaware? Well if you said you No, then you're a BIG FAT LIAR! Let's be real. We're all human, just trying to get through this crazy thing called life. Sometimes things don't go our way and we don't know how to move past things. And that's OK. But if you said Yes, then congrats! You're an honest person! A VERY VERY bad person, because come on, who holds grudges? But at least you're an honest one and that's something you can hold over any of the liars that weren't willing to admit it. Tune into today's episode of the Bizzie Boys to find out that pettiness holds no bounds when Adam is involved. Corey doesn't get off any easier, because although not petty, his grudges aren't even grudges - they're just facts and he's upset they're true.

Every year on Thanksgiving Americans eat roughly 32 million turkeys.   You've got the white meat.   The dark meat.   The stuffing.   But how what about the egg?   How come in your entire adult life, you've eaten a SOLID 11 pounds of turkey meat, but not one darn turkey egg?   Some say it's because turkeys DON'T lay eggs.   Others say turkeys DO lay eggs, but mama turkeys will peck your wiener right off if you try to get near them, so after the first guy lost his, no else bothered trying.   Regardless, one thing is for certain: it's uncertain where turkeys come from.   On this episode, the Bizzie Boys get to the bottom of this turkey issue, but not before they spend 40 minutes discussing how to adapt to life in a post-pandemic world.

If you've ever wanted Corey's lean, borderline emaciated physique, or Adam's rotund, egg-shaped body, then this episode is for you! Apologies in advance for the audio quality - promise it's a one-off!

Do you work?   Maybe you have a career?   Maybe you call it the burden, life's curse, or the bane of your existence?   Whatever you choose to call it, chances are you have a sucky job and it sucks super hard.   But it doesn't have to be that way.   Think about all the Cake Testers, Puppy Chasers, and Booty Consultants. Do you think they hate showing up for another day of cake, puppy, or big ol' booty?   Of course not!   Luckily it's not too late for you to make the switch! But figuring out what's best for you will take some effort. Tune into today's episode to hear the boys lead by example, as they explore their mid-life cri….career options!

Do you like backseat drivers? Telling you when to go. When to stop. When to flip the bird.  Of course you don’t. No one does. Driving is an expression of freedom best left to the driver. You’re the king/queen of the road. And you’ll be damned if one of your third-rate friends (who will totally never ride shotgun) tell you when to  bust out the ol’ “don’t like you” finger. So you’d think the same goes for watching TV. The boobtube. Youtube. Cable. Whatever else people call these days the thing that will eventually become a Netflix monopoly. But you’d be wrong. That’s right. Wrong. And rightly so. Here’s why. Backseat drivers are drivers themselves. How else could they dole out driving advice. But what about non-drivers? They don’t tell you how to drive. But what if they did? Sounds crazy? Maybe. But does it sound genius? Most definitely! While you’re busy fiddling with the turn signal, they’re asking why you can’t get high on a highway. As you’re checking your blind spot, they’re checking Google for why cars don't come in purple. When you’re trying to time that perfect break-check, they’re shocked cars don’t come with pee bags - bags you can pee in so you don’t have to stop at that one low-rent gas station that smells like pee pee and serves coffee without the hand-protector thing and don’t even get us started on those three dollar lottery tickets that never pay out.  The point is, the novice sees what the professional can only dream of. Which is exactly why you’ll want to tune in and listen to The Bizzie Boys (who stopped watching TV during the Great Recession) tell you what to watch and why you’ll love it!

Is your dog a shameless bastard? Do they chew your stuff without remorse? Perhaps they embarrass you with rampant humping? How about the doggie doodie? Does your dog doodie and ditch you to dispose of its dirty business without so much as a thank you? If that's you, then fear not dear Rogan, because this show is for you! Join the boys as they go on a cancel culture spree, ranging from dentists to sunny days, and the most difficult-to-cancel things of all: rude dogs.

On top of dirty diapers, medical bills, and lack of sleep, something all new parents deal with is the stark realization they've got a lazy baby on their hands that refuses to get a job. But that's not completely true. Sure, some babies might be lazy but that's not why they're jobless. Babies aren't allowed to work because "big government" says they can't. Now how about if that baby sings and has a Youtube channel? How come BIG GOV isn't stopping those sweet sweet YouTube dollars from getting into lil' Johnny's tiny milk-soaked hands? If that hypocrisy grinds your gears, then tune into today's episode to hear the Bizzie Boys take a DEEP dive on all sorts of nonsense like borders, seatbelts, and something even non-parents are surely sick and tired of: over-priced amputations.

Have you ever listened to Warm Hug, El Doble, or Taco Rock music? Well unless you’re a time traveler from a very likely future where the Bizzie Boys become music icons, then no you haven’t. Tune in to hear what genres the boys are confident will take off, plus find out why The Peacekeeper and the Not My Baby will become the bare necessities in every newborn parents’ toolkit!

What does blind Indiana Jones, Dog James Bond, and the Mission Very Possible series all have in common? They're all bizzie spins on Hollywood classics! Join the boys as they as re-imagine some of their favorites and learn why when it comes to size, tiny is the new giant. 

Beefy hips, feeble arms, and a sleepy demeanor are all HIGHLY accurate descriptions of what the Bizzie Boys look like. So you'd think the boys weren't made for sports. And you'd be totally right, which is why on this episode the boys discuss how low the sports bar has to go before they have a chance of looking competitive.

They say don't bite the hand that feeds you.  But what if that hand is made of delicious cake?  If that got your gears turning, then tune into the latest episode as the boys unravel the tastiest conspiracy theory of them all: BIG FOOD!

What do Hitler, Elvis, and John Lennon all have in common? They’re all prolific people who no longer eat. If you’re asking why’s that important then clearly you’ve never heard of the chem trails conspiracy. Tune in as the boys go down one rabbit hole after another to uncover the one conspiracy theory to rule them all: BIG FOOD. 

Imagine shopping for leftovers. Where you're chased by a "Food Minotaur". And shovel-fighting gravediggers for the absolute best scraps. If that sounds like a blast, then welcome to Wisdom Foods! One of several million-dollar business concepts explored by the Bizzie Boys on today's episode.

Imagine you're going about your day.  Doing something normal.  Then a friend sees you do this "normal" thing and kindly explains that this thing isn't normal at all.  In fact, it's some of the weirdest s**t they've ever seen and now they can't decide what to do next: end the friendship OR call the police.  If listening to the existential crises that follow such insights is your thing, then tune on in!

Join the Bizzie Boys as they take a deep dive into the animal kingdom to explore its most compelling questions like what's in a camel's hump? do koalas have beaks? and does anyone REALLY want to f*** a horse?