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The Big Wedding Planning Podcast
61 minutes | 10 months ago
#202 Crafting Your Vows
Tanya Pushkine, The Vow Whisperer, NYC, joins today to talk all about crafting wedding vows. We meet with one COVID survivor and NYC Physician’s Assistant who is planning her own micro-wedding right now. Tanya is originally from Brussels, Belgium and started out in the acting profession. After graduating from Juilliard, she had a solid 10 year career, but gave it up to pursue the corporate route. Tanya ran Public Relations and Philanthropy departments for luxury brands until she made the brave move to leave it all behind last year and join the wedding industry. Tanya has been working virtually from the start working with couples all over the world to lovingly craft meaningful wedding vows and speak those words with intention and feeling at their wedding. Big Takeaways People want to write their own rules. These are difficult, uncertain times, our words of love and commitment to each other are so important. Having a guide to walk you through the writing process is a huge stress reliever. Think about the things that brought you together. You know the stories, but your guests probably don’t. Those stories make for wonderful vows. Links We Referenced www.ammarheaphoto.com thehoxton.com/new-york/williamsburg/hotels thevowwhisperer.com https://projectcupid.cityofnewyork.us/app/cupid#/auth/login 2 hours free consulting - The first 5 listeners who book Tanya for 3 hours will get and additional 2 hours for free! Reach out to Tanya directly - firstname.lastname@example.org Quotes “That first meeting we decide what’s the vibe going to be like? Do you want people to be crying the entire time? Do you want this to be hysterically funny?” - Tanya “I don’t think vows should be people standing up there talking about a perfect relationship, because there is no such thing.” - Tanya “This is the one part of the wedding that does not cause more stress... I’m literally holding their hands from the very beginning up until the moment before the ceremony if they want.” - Tanya “Wonderful and beautiful things need to be held really close right now.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: email@example.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: Tanya Pushkine.
90 minutes | 10 months ago
#201 Five Venues Across The Country As We Reopen
As cities and counties begin to explore re-opening, wedding venues must adhere to new safety standards. Today we are joined by a variety of folks in the wedding venue business to answer questions about these changes! Guests: Kathryn Kalabookas - San Francisco, CA juliamorganballroom.com David DiVincenzo - Detroit, MI planterraevents.com Lynsie Blau - Fort Worth, TX brikvenue.com Julie Garces - New York City, NY secondfloornyc.com Dixie Bagley - Rome, GA thefarmromega.com Big Takeaways Even though some places are re-opening, protocols are still limiting weddings from functioning fully. So the dates are still be postponed. Those that are happening require a lot of extra planning to meet social distancing standards and other requirements. Some places, like San Francisco, do not have a date for re-opening yet. Whereas, other places, like Michigan, are already lifting stay-at-home orders. In Fort Worth, TX, they can have weddings at 25% occupancy and have had a few ceremonies. Most venues are flexible with rescheduling and cancellations right now. If you are worried, then move the date! Don’t add the extra stress if you can help it. Links We Referenced juliamorganballroom.com planterraevents.com brikvenue.com secondfloornyc.com thefarmromega.com Quotes “I have a lot who want that date, and they’re going to hold off and see how things progress and what we’re allowed to do.” - David “We’re being very flexible with the terms on our contract with cancellations and reschedules. But we are also trying to retain any business that clients feel comfortable keeping with us.” - Julie Get In Touch EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast
49 minutes | a year ago
#200 Anti-Racism & Allyship: A Discussion.
We are not talking about weddings on this one. Today is different. It’s our 200th episode and we had planned to release an episode with an awesome DJ, but we don’t feel right about a ‘business as usual’ approach right now. The world is still in the grips of the COVID pandemic and now America is on fire due to yet another murder of a black man by a police officer. Mr. George Floyd was murdered on May 25, 2020. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all who love him and are mourning his loss. Protests are taking place in all 50 states and half of those states still have some shelter in place mandates. We asked ourselves, how we could be supportive and IF we should release new episodes about weddings while all of this is going on. We decided this week to use our platform to share perspectives and truths from two black women we have connected with through the podcast to share their thoughts with us and with you and they were extremely gracious to lend us some of their time and energy. We honor and value these two women's words, insights, advice and opinions. We hope you find these discussions as enlightening and profound and necessary as we do. Juli is a Social, Cultural Anthropologist and teaches courses on Race, U.S. Based State Violence, sexuality and criminalization. Juli is planning her wedding and has had to reschedule due to Covid. She is a huge supporter of TBWPP. Felicia is a listener in upstate NY where she is a Juvenile Justice Attorney. She wrote us an email about her venue search and that kicked off an episode we did called Race and Representation with Tamara Jones (ep 153) and we did a follow up with Felicia after her wedding (189). ** Quotes:** “This is unpaid labor that is asked specifically of black women, alot of time black, queer, and trans people to do this heavy intellectual lifting that people feel like they can’t do or people, specifically white women, feel like they’re not prepared to do, or they’re uncomfortable to do.” - Juli “I do think social media is making it worse, because for 8 weeks, maybe 12 weeks, this is kind of all we had to socialize with. And now were are being inundated and traumatized and re-traumatized with so much stuff.” - Juli “I can imagine, you know, for people that don’t experience or have to think about racism every day, that it’s such a hard thing to grasp. And to sort of feel around and understand. Because I think when you are a subject of racism there is a habituation to it.” - Felicia “It’s sad almost in a way that these moments, in the last week, have been - it required those moments for the black body to be completely blameless for people to finally be like, ‘Oh. This shit happens.’ You have to be blameless in order to be seen. And that’s, you know, that’s incredibly difficult.” - Felicia Resources: Books: White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo Stamped from the Beginning - as well as How to be an Antiracist - both by Ibram X Kendi Social Media accounts to follow: @theConsciousKid @mireillecharper - 10 Steps to Non-Optical Allyship @rachel.cargle @privtoprog - links to petitions to sign as well @colorofchange - we have donated a third of our ad income for this month @blklivesmatter Articles: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/02/parenting/kids-books-racism-protest.html https://www.mic.com/articles/97900/10-simple-rules-for-being-a-non-racist-white-person We invite you to share your thoughts with us. WE ARE LISTENING What is happening? Are you ok? How can we help? email us: email@example.com or call us (415)723-1625 Another massive thank you to Juli and Felicia. Be safe everyone. We love you.
57 minutes | a year ago
#199 You Ask, We Answer - 30
Our monthly installment of You Ask, We Answer. Where we answer all sorts of questions from our listeners. Question 1: My partner and I got engaged in fall 2019 and planned on not having the wedding until sometime in 2021. Shelter in place has meant that we’ve finally had time to sit down and start wedding planning. We think we’ve found our venue for a September 2021 wedding but are hesitating on booking it due to concerns about how coronavirus might change weddings. Our venue manager has said that, should coronavirus still be a big concern on our wedding date, they have plans in place for seating fewer people per table, potentially having servers wear face masks and potentially even suggesting we tell guests to wear them to. Is this a trend you are seeing for post-coronavirus weddings? I was surprised to hear the venue say this and its making us rethink planning a wedding for next year or event having a big in person celebration at all. Answer 1: I think it's a good thing that your venue is already considering possible solutions and coming up with Plan B and C situations for weddings there. We are all dealing with so many unknowns and it's impossible to plan things for sure - that's just the frustrating reality. I have a couple clients who are working with venues that keep just saying "Well, we're moving ahead as planned and we'll see what happens!" This is not really a confidence-inspiring response. The decision to book or not book is yours, of course. And asking lots of questions before you book is really smart - the more info you have, the better! Review the contract carefully. The venue sounds like they are trying to protect themselves and their clients (and all guests) with ways to adjust/pivot rather than be forced to outright cancel. To answer your question - yes, lots of venues, caterers and wedding planners are outlining similar social-distancing measures just in case they will need them. Coronavirus is changing weddings. (Make sure that the cancelation/reschedule clause in the contract is solid and outlined clearly.) You and your partner probably need to talk about whether you would even want to have a wedding if everyone was required to wear a mask and stay 6' (ish) away from each other on the dancefloor. Small intimate weddings will feel a little less 'off' than big ones, in my opinion. The good news is...you are looking at 2021 not 2020! Question 2: Shortly after our engagement, my fiance and I drafted a 75-person guest list, mostly family and some friends, and agreed on a budget of $35k. [...] We decided to do a microwedding in our home state this fall with 25 guests including our immediate families, close friends, and one aunt (Aunt A) with whom I am very close and her family. We chose a microwedding because it will allow us to have the most important people present on our special day, we'll get lots of face time with them, and there will be much less planning. It is all about keeping our wedding relaxed, intimate, and enjoyable. I am really excited about our wedding; this feels right for us! I am feeling anxious, however, about the reactions from our extended families. My family is very conservative and both of my married cousins have done large, traditional, Christian weddings; my family assumes I will do the same and that they will all be invited. When they asked me about my wedding in February, it was before we realized we wanted something smaller, so they assumed they would be invited and I did not correct them - because I thought they would be! Also, though all aunts, uncles, and cousins will be invited to the celebration in their respective states, Aunt A and her family live out of state and are invited to the ceremony. I know the rest of my extended family may be hurt by this. Questions How can I pitch our wedding plan to our extended families as inclusive rather than exclusive / graciously tell them they didn't make the cut for the wedding guest list? Do I need to apologize for not inviting them to my wedding when I implied they would be? What do I say when my extended family asks why Aunt A was invited and not them? What are simple elements we could add to our celebration dinners in different states to make them feel unique and part of the wedding experience, rather than afterthoughts? Is there any other advice you have on this topic??? Answer 2: One thing first - we have recorded an episode all about micro-weddings. It's been on the back burner as we try and get pandemic planning topics on the schedule too, but it will be released soon, so look for that! I love micro-weddings, fyi. I fully support your decision to host one and I think you're going to be very glad that you both followed your gut and heart on this. You and your fiancé agree that this is what you want and I think in order to really start to lean in and enjoy the process, and the wedding day itself, you do need to get it out there, so to speak. The sooner you let people know, the sooner this weight will be off your shoulders. I commend you for the considerate way you are approaching this! Remember, you won't be able to please everyone through this process and in sharing the decision, you and your partner - and your parents, ideally - all need to be on the same page and be firm and don't let anyone else's opinion about this derail you or make you doubt your decision. You are a caring person, so you are going to feel bad or even a little guilty if people put their feelings on you...but remember that you can only control your own decisions and feelings, no one else's. I think you can use the current situation with coronavirus and the way the wedding industry has been upended, that there are so many unknowns, priorities and 'essentials' are redefined in the face of the new reality...in a world where everything else is changing and many things are coming into focus (the good and the bad) - you two decided to change your wedding plans. You don't have to over-explain it to people, you don't owe anyone that. You do want to avoid discord down the line with family dynamics, but I think most of that will simmer away in time. Everyone is going through this now, plans are changing for us all. If you want to, I think it's appropriate to send out an email or even a video message to everyone that you want to tell - say something honest and transparent, but again, you don't need to apologize or go into too much detail. You can send this to your extended family that won't be getting invited. "So that's what we are going to do and we wanted to let everyone know. We're still getting married - we're just changing plans for how we are going to celebrate. We love you and we hope you're all well during this crazy time!" For those that are getting invited - you can talk to them each first - individually, I suggest a phone call or video chat. Tell them that you are going to have a smaller wedding now and that you want them to be a part of it. Let them know the date and location and that an invitation will be mailed in the summer. And it's ok to express personally that you know that this has the potential to be a decision that ripples through the family in different ways and you hope they can understand and be there for you. I know it's more complicated than I can answer to. Your parents are going to be key players in this, so I suggest you talk to them honestly and openly soon. I hope they support you whole heartedly. But if they have questions or express disappointment or try to convince you to change your mind, just stay the course. Time will help even things out...and no matter what, this is what you two want to do. And it's your love story. You get to tell it however you want. In terms of making people feel included...I just think you need to proceed with caution. People may not want to see a lot of photos of your wedding if they weren't invited, you know? So it may not feel as much like a full-family celebration in that way...and thats ok. I would say that it is not good etiquette to invite them to the showers/parties ahead of time - that may create some resentment. Again, everyone is cancelling things and rescheduling things and just being flexible right now. It's ok to just reach out and tell them what you two have decided to do. If you don't want to do an email or something like that, just call people individually. I think largely, your family will be understanding. And Aunt A is very special to you, she will be honored to be invited. I don't think you need to explain that choice to people, but if you do, just be honest and concise and move on to another topic of conversation. Question 3: Have any of you opted to not do hair and/or makeup for your wedding or someone’s you’re in? I really want to be pampered and pay to get it done but I also want to look natural and am worried about looking too done up. Answers: Ellen: Many HMU can do natural looks. Plus if you are getting professional photos done, you want to have some layers on your face for that “glowing bride” kind of look. Ashley: July wedding here, I am going for a natural look as well. I’m not hiring people to do mine, instead people in my circle are going to help me. My fiancé’s friend is a hair stylist so she’ll be doing my hair and my sister is really good at makeup so she’s just going to be doing mine. Although I know there are some makeup artists that will do natural looks! Kathryn: I got a blow out and just did natural makeup myself and was very happy with the results! It was the look I was going for - looking like myself! Hannah: I just got my makeup/hair done for my engagement photos, and WOAH. It was great being pampered, but I left looking way to dolled up, even though I requested a natural look. So if you do get it done, do a trial first, so you feel your absolute best on your
65 minutes | a year ago
#198 Easy Breezy DIY: Flower Moxie
Amy McCord Jones is a country girl from the plains of Oklahoma. She actually got her degree in Forensic Science before she realized she did not, in fact, want to pick maggots off of dead bodies for the rest of her life. So in her 20’s she worked as a chemist, picked her guitar down in Austin, had a corporate job, and finally fell into wedding planning in 2007. Since then, she has been a full-time planner and a self-taught florist and in 2014, she decided to start a little side- hustle for DIY brides called Flower Moxie for extra travel money and it took off from there. She joins us today to share about her business and give great tips on what you need to know with your wedding flowers! Big Takeaways Flower Moxie sells by the bunch. They don’t start breaking or cutting them apart, because it shortens the life of the flowers. When you receive them, you cut and prep them using their handy instructions. Top 10 Rules to DIY Wedding Flowers Prep work. If you bungle the prep work, the design work will be so much harder. Have help. Be specific and don’t be afraid to take people up on their offers. If you’re going to DIY your flowers, you need to take some time off of work. Don’t try to fit all the work into one night. Do a practice run with grocery store flowers. Be flexible. When it comes to needing or wanting a particular color of flower, have Design Master on hand. Sometimes you’ll get the flower in and it’s not right on what you want. That will save the day. Don’t get locked in to one Pinterest picture. Flowers vary! Photos can be misleading, too. 8. Forage. Think of random flower placements. Ie: around the cake, on catering tables, etc. Have fun. Enjoy the event. Don’t focus on the little things that may go wrong. Links We Referenced https://flowermoxie.com - Promo code: BIGWEDDING for 10% off instagram.com/flowermoxie alpinerings.com - Promo code: BIGWEDDING for 15% off Quotes “I actually won’t really work with anybody that’s doing their own flowers. Unless, in writing, they say, ‘and we have help to place those flowers.’” - Michelle “[Brides] have no problem pulling it off, and doing a beautiful job, when you lay it out and give them those details.” - Amy “Educate yourself, because you’re taking on the role of being your own florist.” - Amy “Not everybody is a DIY person. If you aren’t going to enjoy this process, just don’t do it!” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: Amy McCord Jones.Sponsored By:Alpine Rings: The Big Wedding Planning Podcast listeners receive 15% discount site wide and Alpinerings.com Promo Code: BIGWEDDING
58 minutes | a year ago
#197 Are You The Eloping Type? Cactus Collective
McKenzi Taylor is an elopement expert based in Las Vegas. She started her photography business in 2008, but ventured into her elopement coordination business -- Cactus Collective Weddings in 2017. In that time she’s helped well over 500 couples elope in Las Vegas and knows a good match for an elopement when she sees it. Big Takeaways An elopement, to McKenzi, is not what it used to be. It’s not all about running away and getting married in secret. An elopement can still be planned in advance and it can still have sweet touches, but it’s really an experience for you and your partner. If you have a few guests, that’s a great bonus, but it’s truly about an intimate setting, a beautiful ceremony, gorgeous scenery and professional photography (in Cactus Collective’s case). They are typically way less stressful than a traditional wedding. Much less in terms of design and decor as well. For Cactus Collective, elopement would be anything under 50 guests. A lot of types of couples are the “eloping type.” Couples that have been together a long time, they may be fed up with the stress of planning something more traditional, they may have no financial support in wedding expenses, they love travel, they want to spend their money on a home or an experience, they tend not to be religious, they are often maturer in age, and they might want it done fast! Vegas is uniquely suited to this service. Their marriage bureau is open nearly 24/7 and it takes about 15-20 minutes to get a license. International airport is in the city. It’s easy to get there. There is a plethora of entertainment options to do a wedding and honeymoon weekend in one fell swoop. If you do have guests, you don’t have to worry about entertaining them. There is no shortage of gorgeous views. Nevada has over 3 million acres of public lands and Vegas has some of the most scenic locations in the world within 30 minutes of the strip. McKenzi’s List - How To Know If Elopement Is Right For You! 1. You love the big outdoors A lot of what's trending for elopements or intimate wedding these days means being outdoors. Part of the appeal of eloping it being able to capture a scenic location with those close to you. So, while it's not the case for every elopement, I do think a majority of people should really consider whether they love the outdoors or not. Can’t worry about raindrops, hair blowing... heels. Expect lighthearted and open minded approach. Flexible and understanding on the day “rain or shine” *2. You live for the here and now * Mobile signal, schmobile signal. You’re in a scenic location! With the person you love! Who cares if the cell signal is sketchy? You’re the kinda couple that thrives on the here and now. Live streaming or posting your wedding to Insta a second after it’s happened, hasn’t crossed your mind. Providing your photographers with a bunch of different photo in a bunch of different locations is not what an elopement is all about. You get one sunset ... 3. You trust your wedding company and their vendors Destination weddings are an adventure. A chance to experience the unexpected. Coming from out of town means you’ll see your wedding venue and all the parts of your special day once you get here. But that’s part of the thrill. When hiring your vendors, you trust them to make decisions on your behalf, knowing they’re experienced, are familiar with the area, and have your best interests at heart. Example: an orange flag for us is if a couple has a list of a million photo ops that they want. Elopement isn’t a place for customization... no cake samples, no flower samples. 4. You realize planning a whole wedding day requires organization The ceremony is just one part of your special day. So, unless you’re hiring a personal wedding planner for a total hands-off experience, you understand there’s some wedding planning you need to handle. Your marriage license, transport, hair and makeup services, and booking a reception event (if you’re having one) are good examples. A lot of times couples plan their elopement ceremony but then forget to consider booking a restaurant for dinner etc. 5. You really don't want to invite many people (really). I often get folks that say "we are having a small wedding and have about 100 guests". This is not an elopement. It's not a micro wedding. Really consider if you want to cut your guest count down before you commit tot he idea of a destination wedding or elopement. This is a huge one. This is your special day. If you can’t get over the fact that an elopement is very few people, then you should not do one. If your 100 person guest list, can’t be paired down then an elopement isn’t for you. 6. You realize you still gotta have a budget. While the word "eloping" sounds like "budget" to some... you still have to have a budget if you want to have a party. Micro wedding doesn't mean cheap, it means having a super unique experience for a handful of guests. Traveling for an elopement and splurging for your day is still very important. 7. You want to throw a big party at "home" later. By now you have realized that you don't want to invite everyone, and you can't. My experience is that people are often more willing to come to a destination wedding than most people think. Decide to throw a great party at home a few months later Links We Referenced https://www.cactus-collective.com https://www.redrockcanyonlv.org Quotes “They’re just ready to get married.” - McKenzi “Keep in mind that a lot of these remote places don’t have services. They might have special animals or creatures... Our locations, a lot of them, don’t have bathrooms.” - McKenzi “Always trust the folks that you are hiring. And the people they work with as well.” - McKenzi “If you do really want that special, intimate, personal, small getaway wedding, I think that it’s perfect for some people.” - McKenzi Get In Touch EMAIL: email@example.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: McKenzi Taylor .
82 minutes | a year ago
#196 Contracts and Amendments: Tips from an Attorney
By day, Caroline Fox is a Virginia attorney whose practice focuses on creative small- to medium-sized businesses. She assists both large and small companies incorporate, tighten up contracts, protect trademarks and copyrights, and resolve disputes. From votes of fellow attorneys, she has been named to Virginia's Legal Elite since 2016, and has been named a "Superlawyer Rising Star" for the past two years. In her "free time," Caroline founded the Engaged Legal Collective, an educational resource for wedding professionals to learn about the often convoluted legal aspects of their business. She travels internationally to speak with event professionals about contracts, client disputes, and protecting their brands. The law industry is “seeing a watershed moment for a lot of contract law which will be interesting.” This is a monumental time and there is nowhere to pull from in the past in terms of reference to help people with contractual language right now. On this episode, Caroline joins Michelle to help unpack contract law for wedding professionals and couples waiting to wed. Big Takeaways A force majeure clause is a clause in a contract that excuses a delay or excuses performance completely. But it has to be written into the contract, and it must describe what can fall into that category. It often plays in with other pieces of the contract, such as non-refundable deposit, etc. It is not all-inclusive. The event industry as a whole has exploded. On both the vendor and couple side, a lot of money is being invested. Wedding professionals are starting to come back to their clients with amendments to their contracts. When a lot of changes are going to be needed, a cancellation is a much better option to move forward. The best option if things are staying pretty much the same is an amendment. Things to look for in an amendment or new contract - What is the reschedule date? What is included in this reschedule? Make sure you are getting something similar. Be specific as possible. You can ask for things to be rewritten or revised! Make sure it references the date of the first contract and the new dates. What payments are being applied where? Everyone who signed first contract needs to sign the new one Make sure postponements are addressed. If you have to reschedule your rescheduling, it’s important to be covered. Depending on the way it’s written, you should be able to postpone again. If you are confused or struggling through this at all, it would be smart to connect with a lawyer. You don’t need a partner level lawyer to read through these contracts. You can go with a lower level associate, who understands contracts, to get you into a place where you can feel comfortable and confident. Caroline's firm charges $50-100 per page flat fee) Links We Referenced www.engagedlegal.com - Mostly works with the wedding vendor side www.cjfoxlaw.com small businesses, etc www.alpinerings.com - 15% off with promo code BIGWEDDING https://www.allureconsulting.com/virtual Quotes “The clearer you can be in your contract, the better service you are doing not only to your clients, but to yourself.” - Caroline “Make sure you are being specific and clear about the hours you are putting in.” - Caroline “I feel like whether it’s working with an attorney, or service at a restaurant, or being at a hotel, or working with your wedding planner, you need to feel like you’re being taken care of. Period.” - Michelle “Everyone is in a very emotional, traumatized state right now.” - Caroline “We just have to get through this really tough time. And we do that by being human, being emotionally intelligent, listening to each other, and being flexible.” - Caroline Get In Touch EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: Caroline Fox.Sponsored By:Alpine Rings: The Big Wedding Planning Podcast listeners receive 15% discount site wide and Alpinerings.com Promo Code: BIGWEDDING
53 minutes | a year ago
#195 You Ask, We Answer COVID19 Edition - 29
Just because we cannot gather in groups, does not mean the desire to marry one another has disappeared. Countless couples all over the world have been forced to postpone their wedding celebrations, but they are choosing to marry one another regardless because after all, that is the whole point isn’t it? To be married! On this month's edition of You Ask, We Answer, we have an exciting announcement we want to share on how we're leading the way on Virtual Weddings. ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: We are teaming up and offering a Virtual Wedding Planning Package to our listeners; a more professionally planned out and elevated experience to our Full Wedding Planning Services which includes: Wedding Planner We will meet via web Conference Consultations: You show me your home and I help you figure out the best location for the ceremony. We discuss timing, number of guests, marriage license, technical set-up, lighting, decor and I put together a planning timeline for you. Live streaming is handled by us. You don’t have to worry about any of the potential technical issues that could come up during your virtual wedding. With us, you have a “person” to set up the live stream, ensure it runs smoothly, troubleshoot any issues and answer questions from your guests. Not only that, but we will moderate, mute guests during the ceremony, and overall make sure things are running smoothly. We will also make sure your guests have a phone number they can call and your behind the scenes tech person will help them as needed. We design a personalized digital invitation for you to send out to your guests via email. Once we decide on a color palette, we will have fresh flowers delivered to your door so you can carry a bouquet or wear a boutonniere and have a beautiful centerpiece in the background and for your table. A box of tech: Lighting is important as are a few other items which we will ship to you with a return label to send it all back after the wedding. Rehearsal: We will have a rehearsal of your ceremony and test all of the technical aspects the day before to ensure we are all set on your wedding day. Visit for more details: http://www.allureconsulting.com/virtual Now onto this month's YAWA! YAWA Question #1: I’m a 10.10.20 bride and am getting a lot of “are you still having your wedding?” questions. What are the best way to respond to this? I have been telling those that we won’t make a call to postpone until August and we are planning as usual. But is there something better to say? Answer #1: What you are saying is exactly right. Just letting them know you don’t know yet, and giving that deadline of when you will decide is great. It’s also nice for them to have something to look forward to in the fall. Airlines and hotels are being flexible. And you may want to start looking at a Plan B as well. Question #2: Any update on whether it’s possible to Zoom/FaceTime your ceremony? Answer #2: In the state of New York, a law has been passed that you can be married online. The certificate can be signed virtually! It does depend on the state and their current laws. Side note: Christy is ordained, and would love to perform ceremonies if she available. Question #3: We’re doing the “elopement” this year and then the big wedding next year... What things should we include in our ceremony this year to make it special (because this is when we are actually becoming wed) and what types of things do we save for the big wedding next year, when we can celebrate with our family? We want that to be special too. Thanks you guys! Answer #3: Keep the “elopement” ceremony a little more simple. If it is going to be virtual, have it recorded. You could play that during your ceremony next year! If there is a loved one who has passed away that you would have honored at a wedding, maybe in the background have a picture or have something that they gave you on your person during the ceremony. Maybe call your parents and let them in on the timing. And these choices you can also talk about for the later wedding. Question #4: Do you ladies have any recommendations on how to start looking for a wedding dress during these crazy times? Answer #4: It’s obviously not ideal at the moment. But! All the online department stores that carry bridal gowns will ship to your house so you can try them on and then they allow you to ship back for free. Some companies are hosting virtual tours that begin with the bride to talk about your interests, your body type, what you’re looking for, etc. and they help you narrow down some choices and send them to you for try on. Question #5: Our wedding was originally on 5/9/2020. Our venue called me in March saying we had to reschedule our wedding & gave us a list of dates to choose from. We chose the latest date they offered, which was 9/27/2020. I think the reason they didn’t offer any dates in 2021 was because they still wanted to have at least SOME weddings in 2020 first. We bought Change the Dates, but now I don’t know if I should send them out or wait, because of so much uncertainty of when the quarantine/pandemic will end, and if we have to change our date AGAIN. Should I still send out our Change the Dates or wait a little longer? So many people keep asking us about our wedding, and I answer them as they go, but I don’t have everyone’s emails to send them an update, so we figured it would be easier to mail everyone send the dates. And I can’t really call 300 people to update because I’m a night shift ER nurse & am exhausted by the time it’s my day off with everything going on. We’ve already updated our website with the new date, but not sure if we should move forward on sending out our newly bought Change the Dates yet in case things change again in the future. Thoughts? Answer #5: Yes, send them now! Hopefully the wedding website is on these Change The Dates somewhere. Or you can add an insert that says to make sure to keep an eye on the website because everything is changing quickly these days. But definitely send them! Question #6: Is it okay to skip the paper invites and opt for email. Wedding is in July and not really feeling like wasting money if we’re going to have to postpone. Answer #6: Every choice you make in planning a wedding is about making it your way. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it! If you want to send it, send it! You can still make a beautiful email if that is the way you go. Question #7: Hey Michelle and Kristy. My name is Brandy. My fiancé and I made the difficult decision to postpone our wedding until next year. We still plan on getting married on our original date (7/3/20) and do our celebration on our 1st anniversary. So along with our postponement went our pre-wedding festivities - bridal shower, bachelorette/bachelor weekends. Although the most important part is still taking place, it sucks that we don’t get to celebrate it with our family and friends. I was looking forward to honoring my bridal party by showering them with gifts to thank them for all their planning and hard work. Do you have any suggestions for something special I can do for them during this time of social distancing? Thanks keeping me up to date on all things wedding and doing it with pizzazz! Here’s to one more year of planning! Answer #7: It’s a great opportunity to reevaluate and make new plans. There is no reason not to have a virtual bachelorette/bachelor party. You can have things delivered to each other, food/ drinks, gift certificates for when things do open back up. You could have a post-wedding bachelorette! There are no rules. Take a weekend away with your friends after the wedding. Why not? You can mail/ship a gift to them and put a note that says “Do not open until...” your scheduled virtual party! You can still have these parties online and make them super special. Links We Referenced: Package Details: Here's our new package link: https://rentmywedding.com/Home-Wedding Here's your 20% off promo code: BIGWEDDING Promo code is valid on ANY rentals, now through 5/31/20. Enter promo code in the "Reference Box" at checkout Pay later! Reserve with just 25% down, and pay the rest later. Payment plans available. Cancel anytime! If your plans change, cancel anytime before shipping for a full refund. First 10 couples to book a virtual wedding with Michelle and Jason get 20% off! dressanomalie.com alpinerings.com (Use promo code BIGWEDDING for 15% off sitewide) Get In Touch EMAIL: email@example.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: Jason Mitchell Kahn.Sponsored By:Alpine Rings: The Big Wedding Planning Podcast listeners receive 15% discount site wide and Alpinerings.com Promo Code: BIGWEDDING
77 minutes | a year ago
#194 Virtual Weddings
Jason Mitchell Kahn has been planning weddings for ten years now. It began while he was running all of the events at the iconic Soho House New York and became known as their in- house wedding guru. When same-sex marriage first became legal in New York he pitched his idea and got a book deal to publish the first wedding planner for gay grooms aptly named Getting Groomed. From there he went to Shiraz Events overseeing their wedding division in New York, Los Angeles and London. He is now in the third year of having his own business Jason Mitchell Kahn and Co. Additionally, he serves as the Director of Weddings and Editorial for Men’s Vows. Jason is also a playwright and known for bringing his story-telling lens to his events. You can read a handful of his creative ideas on his latest blog post “Tips for a Successful Virtual Wedding.” Today he joins us to share some of those valuable tips! We are also joined by real life quarantine wedding couples - Jim and Kim, and Julia and Jordan. And wedding photographer David Perlman. Big Takeaways There are tech sides to a zoom wedding! It’s still important to think and prepare beforehand. Logistically, consider if you can get your wedding license during the shut down. If not, know if that is an important factor to your virtual ceremony. Couple Jim and Kim had their license before the shut down, and they decided they still will do an in-person ceremony in December. There is a lot of room to get creative. There are no precedents for this, make it yours. Give yourself some room to be sad and upset. Don’t think you have to adjust immediately. Feelings are part of this process. If you are interested in getting married in this way during the quarantine, but cannot get your hand on a marriage license, contact your county office. It is possible to change laws and restrictions if enough people ask for the licenses to become available. The most important parts of the recipe are the officiant, the couple, and the zoom link. Make the day different than other days. Order nice takeout, get out the good champagne, do something to have a genuine celebration. Links We Referenced https://jasonmitchellkahn.com/blog instagram.com/mrjasonmitchell facebook.com/jasonmitchellkahnandco https://www.davidperlmanphotography.com instagram.com/davidperlmanphotography facebook.com/davidperlmanphotography unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding thrivecausemetics.com/bigwedding (Code: BIGWEDDING at checkout for 15% off) Quotes “In some ways, more people are attending than would have at in person weddings, because no one is restricted by travel or anything like that.” - Jason “It’s not as hard as you would think to do, just practice!” - Jim “Be very humble with the people you are working with, because they will work a lot harder if you actually treat them like a human being.” - Jim “I got all dressed up in my suit. I got all ready for their wedding, at my home. And I took pictures of my computer screen.” - David Get In Touch EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: Jason Mitchell Kahn.Sponsored By:Thrive Causemetics Promo Code: BIGWEDDING
62 minutes | a year ago
#193 She Proposed!
Mollie is a journalist and Greg is a web developer. Turning tradition on its head, Mollie proposed to Greg. They join us today to talk about their relationship, what made her decide to propose, and share their insights on the whole process. Big Takeaways Historically, men have proposed to women first because marriage used to be very transactional. The purpose was to say “I can provide for you.” Giving their word through a ring. Because men made more money than women, and there was the story about men being more afraid of commitment, this became the norm. We emphasize over and over again about how your wedding is your day. Breaking traditions to make everything match who you are. If you want traditional, that’s also okay! There is more and more wiggle room and freedom available. Benevolent sexism can take away a woman’s agency. In terms of marriage proposals, it comes from a place of love, which can make it hard to call out or differentiate. Awareness is important. It can be harmful and hurtful. When it came to finding a planner, Mollie was sure to send the article about her proposal. It didn’t originally occur to her that a planner would have a lot of opinions about their choices. So it did add to their list of must-haves when searching. There are a lot of great planners that are excited to get to work with something fresh and unique. Q: What’s the biggest mistake couples make when planning their wedding? A: Christy: Not hiring a month-of/day-of planner. Michelle: Not making a budget and not understanding it. And letting family members get to you. Fun fact: Elizabeth Warren proposed to her now husband. Links We Referenced https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/12/13/he-said-yes-why-arent-more-women-proposing-their-boyfriends/ Photo courtesy of: http://www.steveboxall.com/zerog https://www.instagram.com/mbloudoff/ https://thrivecausemetics.com/bigwedding (Use code: BIGWEDDING for 15% off) Quotes “This is probably one of the worst times in our lives together, and this feels right somehow.” - Michelle “If this doesn’t happen, I’m turning into him right here, in the aisle of the plane, and proposing that way. Because I can’t take the pressure anymore.” - Mollie “There is no one right way to make things happen.” - Mollie Get In Touch EMAIL: email@example.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSponsored By:Thrive Causemetics Promo Code: BIGWEDDING
75 minutes | a year ago
#192 Staying Sane In The Age of Coronavirus
Today we are joined by Landis Bejar, LMHC - a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in New York City and the founder of AisleTalk: Consultation & Therapy. AisleTalk is a therapy and coaching practice devoted to working with brides and grooms who are experiencing stress during the process of planning their wedding – a moment in time that, from the outside can seem fabulous and euphoric, but on the inside can often bring up concerns related to partnership, stress management, mood changes, body image, family strain, and much more. Landis helps her clients deal with stress so that the planning does not take the excitement out of the process, nor the joy from the wedding day. Landis shares her insights on how to quarantine in a small space with a partner, and how to handle asking for space. Big Takeaways: We are constantly adjusting to new things. Cut yourself some slack if you are having emotional reactions. It’s strenuous and hard to constantly shift. You perhaps are seeing your partner in a more anxious place than ever before. There is a lot of “figuring out as you go” needing to happen. Boundaries are important. Things like monitoring how much news is being watched, and keeping a schedule can really help. If you know what you need, ask your partner for it. This is a time to learn to ask for help, and give it more freely. Distancing/making space for yourself in this situation can be very hard. A lot of couples are stuck in small apartments. Humor is helpful! Nothing about this is normal or expected. It’s not normal to spend this much time with anyone. Remember that we spend alone time, usually, so many hours of the day. If you need to initiate it, it is not personal, it’s just asking for what you need. Be physical, get your exercise even if it’s inside. Connect with love ones! The virtual connections can be hard, but it feels great when you actually do it. It is stressful to think about having to change plans. But it is such a relief as soon as your reschedule. The pressure is off. Lean into your wedding planner here. They are there to make the whole event go smoothly for you. Everything is unpredictable but they can help so much. Just keep going! The goal right now is making it to the other side. If you are looking for a therapist, give yourself time to adjust to them. Bring questions to them. Most therapists give a 15 min consult for free to see if you are a match. Links We Referenced: aisle-talk.com netflixparty.com mywellbeing.com (mostly local to NY) zencare.co psychologytoday.com (Great for small cities, can be vast in a big city) instagram.com/aisletalk Quotes: “We are feeling so much. And on top of that we have these secondary emotions about how we should be feeling.” - Landis “Yes we can offer certain things that have been helpful to us but at the end of the day, the best way we will find is asking the question ‘How can I support you right now?’” - Landis “Communicate with your body the difference between sleep mode to work mode.” - Landis “Humans do not like ambiguity in general.” - Landis Get In Touch EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: Landis Bejar, LMHC.
56 minutes | a year ago
#191 Save The Date! Change The Date!
With so many amazing guests on their way for upcoming shows we wanted to take moment and host a learning episode! On today's show we break down the whole topic of Save The Dates and get into the details. In light of having to reschedule, and communicate much more with your wedding guests, we know the topic is on a lot of people’s minds. Big Takeaways When you should send them: Destination weddings Just moved and having the wedding away from old friends Classic advice says send them out to every guest as soon as you pick your date Include the dates, and maybe the town (or venue if you’ve locked it down), there is no other information needed. Keep it simple. Send between 12-16 weeks before wedding. Invitations 8-10 weeks. Do not send Save The Dates to your B-List!! They aren't a necessary element of your wedding planning. If you are having a weekday wedding, add the day of the week on the Save The Date. It helps so they know they need to take time off. Even if your wedding website isn’t complete, still put it on the Save The Date. It can grow as you book and change things. It’s a great reference for your guests to have. Even if it says “information coming soon.” Q&As Q. Do you need to send “re-save the dates” for coronavirus couples who postponed? A.No, you do not need to. If you are type-A, you probably have everyone’s email. Just send them an email. Don’t waste the money if you don’t have to. If you haven’t sent them yet, you can add an insert, so they aren’t wasted. Q. Is it insensitive to send STDs in the middle of a global pandemic? (This is for a later wedding) A. No, we don’t think it’s insensitive. If anything it’s a nice reminder that the future will come eventually. It’s something to look forward to. Q. Can you touch on “change the dates”? And if it’s tacky to add a new RSVP in it? I don’t want to go full blown invitation again. A. If you don’t want to do another full invitation, just make a card that tells the website for all the info. No need to do another invitation. Get the info out. Whatever works for your and your guests. Q. We sent an Save The Date, but now we want to postpone. We printed our official invites. Thoughts on sending with an X on the date with a TBD? A. That’s a great idea! It’s okay to do what you need to do. And adding a little humor to it is great. Q. Is it ever okay to send Save The Date's to some but not all your guests? As in the people you really want there who would need to travel but not to the ones you’re hoping will say no. A. If you send someone a Save The Date you have to send them an invitation. If you don’t send a Save The Date, you can still send an invitation. Keep track on your spreadsheet! Q. Can we put extra information on the Save The Date and not use our website or would it look too busy? For example, since we have a lot of out of state guests, we’d like to mention that it’s a kids free wedding and want the Save The Dates to state that so they have time to find childcare? Or should we just put that information on the website and hope they figure it out? A. If you’re really worried about, then it’s definitely okay to put it on there. “We look forward to celebrating with you at this adults only event.” If you’re worried someone will claim ignorance, then make it black and white. If you think people will check out the website and take it to heart, then don’t do it! But communication can be powerful! Q. When you send save the dates with a link to your wedding website, what info should you have on your wedding website? I just have photos and travel info. Should I include FAQs? Is it worth including wedding weekend events if times aren't set in stone yet? A. Yes include website. Even if you only have very basic info, that’s okay! As you go, put more information up. FAQs are great and cute, but they don’t have to be included. You can put the events with a TBD on time. Q. I'm still creating my save the dates, but I'm not sure what would be the best option. I like the idea of a video invitation for my modern savvy friends and family and paper invitations for our grandparents, parents and older folks. Should I just do one method because I may be spending too much time thinking about this or is mixing it up worth it? Is mixing it up something common and doable? A. If you’re a person that knows how to do that, they’re so cute and fun and a great way to get information out. However, grandma might not get it. For an older, less tech-savvy person, you can send them a postcard or a handwritten letter. It’s fine to do both as long as you have the capacity to! Quotes “Inevitably, what seems like a simple task, all of you are probably now learning in your wedding planning experience, it’s actually broken down into several steps and many questions and pending answers, and that is why we wedding planners are in business.” - Michelle “We’ve had to very much consider what is “essential” in this world. What are the essential groceries you need? What are the essential jobs?... Weddings are not considered essential.” - Christy “You just can’t make a decision until you absolutely have to.” - Christy Links We Referenced zola.com/bigwedding hellonoemie.com/bigwedding2020 $50 off first purchase! Get In Touch EMAIL: email@example.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSponsored By:Noémie: Go to hellonoemie.com/BIGWEDDING to see their collections and get $50 your first purchase with promo code BIGWEDDING. That’s an even better deal on top of spending a fraction of what you’d pay for other luxury brands. Promo Code: BigWedding
67 minutes | a year ago
#190 You Ask, We Answer - 28
It’s our favorite time of the month! YAWA! Question 1: To Postpone or Not To Postpone April is definitely a time to reschedule. Unless you were talking about a small elopement, of course. Venues are taking things in order of priority (ie April first, May next, etc.) We’re seeing April and May are pretty much entirely rescheduling because of city by city laws and restrictions changing. Work with your planner! Look at THREE plan b dates. Everything right now is sort of week by week, day by day. It is favorable to reschedule within the calendar year. But if you can’t handle that, its okay! Prioritizing mental health is very crucial. Question #2: Circular Ceremony Layout I would like a circular/(or more realistically, horseshoe because acoustics) seating in the ceremony space for a few reasons but I'm not sure of logistics. I like the symbolism of the circle (unity, surrounded by love etc.) I also do not want a central aisle. We have no interest in one set of family/friends sitting on one side and the other set being opposite, I'm also not really interested in walking up a middle aisle. I've attached some pictures of potential venues below, physical space is not an issue, as the two venues are both circular spaces so organizing seats isn't an issue, it's more how the couple will get there! I was wondering if either of you had ever planned a wedding where the couple getting married were in the ceremony space first, and then had their guests come in, or where the couple came in from a different point; on the sides, right opposite the guests etc. Any thoughts you have would be amazing, keep up the good work, love the show! Answer #2: Hi! I love the circular ceremony idea and I have done it with clients - a few different ways. With only 50 guests, you have lots of options! Couple standing at altar when guests enter - this could work well and it's a cool thing because you and your partner get to make eye contact with everyone as THEY enter down the aisle, in a way. I think this would be best if there is one main door that could remain closed until the guests are all outside and then open sort of dramatically. You both and the officiant would be in the room - smiling and then guests would find their seats. You two entering from different sides at the same time could work too - but keep in mind that guests (and the photographer) sometimes don't know which way to look in this case. It works best if the two entrances are both at the front of the ceremony space - rather than both of you walking down side aisles at the same time. Also - if the space allows - there is a way to spiral in to the altar. I love this effect because you and your partner both get to walk past every single guest. The chairs are arranged in a spiral and the couple gets married right in the middle of it. So your loved ones are surrounding you. I've also seen the full circles work when there are some guests seated (you arrange these chairs in a large circle and you get married in the middle, maybe in a concentric circle of low flowers. This works well if the rest of the guests stand behind the seated guests. So - it really is best with small guest counts and short-n-sweet ceremonies - something to keep in mind. Question #3: Guest List Too Big For Venue I desperately need advice! We fell in love with a venue and I just cannot see our big day anywhere else. It fits 200 banquet style no dance floor. I have such a large family and we’d have to trim the guest list by at least 40 people to get the dance floor. My FH thinks it’s easy just trim that off my dads side. I get along very well with my dads side BUT they live so far away we don’t see each other or barely talk but when we do see each other everyone has a blast! My dad doesn’t want anyone to be cut( he is pitching in for part of the wedding). How do I invite some first cousins and not the others or is it easier to just switch to our backup venue!! I just don’t know how to trim about 40 people! Answer #3: Is it possible - at your venue - to have 200 seated for dinner - with some of those tables on the dance floor, and then after dinner, to physically scoot those tables off and kind of push them together with the other surrounding tables so that you can dance? I've seen this work before, even in a packed ballroom. People want to dance and they are happy to get up and either help scoot or move out of the way so the waitstaff can literally pick up the tables and move them out a bit. Typically, this works best when 3-4 tales have to go on, or partially on, the dance floor. And at those tables, you can make sure to seat (assigned tables/seats is best for this scenario) - your wedding party and maybe some younger generation tables that won't feel imposed upon by a little move after dinner is over. You can even tell a few point people at each table what is going on, so they can help facilitate the move-process. Chairs can all be moved to the very outer corners of the room, if not taken away all together. Have you asked your venue about this already? Might be a better solution than having to cut the guest list so much! Links We Referenced https://www.alwaysyoursevents.com/blog/2020/weddingplanningandcovid19 alpinerings.com promo code: BIGWEDDING for 15% off sitewide unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding Get In Touch EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSponsored By:Alpine Rings: The Big Wedding Planning Podcast listeners receive 15% discount site wide and Alpinerings.com Promo Code: BIGWEDDINGAlpine Rings: The Big Wedding Planning Podcast listeners receive 15% discount site wide and Alpinerings.com Promo Code: BIGWEDDING
70 minutes | a year ago
# 189 - Real Wedding Retrospective - Imperfect Perfection
Today, Real Couple Felicia and Carl join us to share about their best advice for weddings. They had a non-traditional, family oriented, modern-feminist wedding in the woods. Big Takeaways *1. Figure out early where you want to spend money and where you don't, and be reasonable about what you can do yourself (and who will help you.) * For us, the most important things were the food, the music (a band), and the venue. That’s what got most of our coin and where we allowed ourselves more flexibility. We ended up DIY'ing our floral table arrangements and other floral elements by working with a local farm and florist (holy crap you can get SO MANY flower petals for $30!). The day before the wedding is when I learned that Carl had a past life as a floral arranger and was amazing. As compared with my brother, charged with being my 'brother of honor', who was far more interested in getting good Instagram stories at the venue than puncturing floral foam. Womp! 2. Do what you want (unless it actually harms or hurts someone else.) Unless you're 'just absolute the worst'--you likely don't get to be selfish and demand that you be humored or have things your way. Your wedding day is that day. If those extra-as-hell monogrammed gift tags give you life and someone has an opposing opinion--GO GET YOUR LIFE! You're not going to please everyone, no one is going to actually going remember your damn gift tags, so you may as well please yourself. Go back--and you must go back- - to being a less self-centered human being when the wedding is over. 3. Invite who makes you feel good. It doesn't matter how long or briefly you've known them. And absolutely don't invite anyone who has the great potential to rob you of joy--again, it doesn't matter how long or short you've known them. Although there was great consternation over it, Carl didn't invite one of his sisters due to some seriously bad blood and hurt in the past and present. Ultimately, his choice came down to our wedding being a new beginning for him and his desire to step into that life supported and loved. 4. Expect that things you can't possibly anticipate will go wrong. When it happens, let that shit go. Case(s) in point: Carl left his dress shirt at our apartment (let's not judge, but instead, thank god for friends who can pick locks); the original cake did not survive the 1.5-hour trip (and for me who makes cakes, whoo boy), and perhaps, I only remembered to buy makeup the day before. . . and then forgot to bring half of it with me. (To be fair to myself, I don't really wear makeup, so it's not usually part of my packing process). But the disasters make the story so much better! *5. If you're not sure what to do with leftover wedding stuff, make someone else's day. * We ended up taking all our arrangements to local DV shelters and hospitals. They were all so happy, and it made me remember how such simple things can mean the world to someone else. I sold all of the leftover votives, table numbers, lanterns, and other decor via the NextDoor app and on Craigslist and dumped the money into holiday gifts. 6. If you do something unexpected with your name, prepare for having to explain yourself. Man societal expectations are a bitch. Carl and I both added each other's last name to our middle names. So he is now Carl Francis Reid Blackwood and I am now FeliciaAlexis Blackwood Reid--so still Mr. Blackwood and Ms. Reid. The number of people who, off the bat, called Mrs. Blackwood and did not approve that I hadn't gone to custom was surprising. Also surprising was the number of people after the wedding who were suddenly interested in the occupancy of my uterus (especially Carl's mom, who keeps remarking: "Aren't you getting old?") Still and intentionally vacant y'all-- woop! Quotes “I think people undervalue the idea of kindness.” - Felicia “Something will go wrong. And I started with that idea.” - Felicia “We wanted something that felt like an extension of a dinner party at our house, not something that was someone else’s idea of what we should be doing.” - Felicia “It was an overarching really pleasant experience all the way through.” - Carl Get In Touch EMAIL: email@example.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: Carl & Felicia Reid.
61 minutes | a year ago
#188 Coronavirus and Wedding Planning - Bonus Episode
We address this pandemic from our perspective inside the wedding industry and working with our own clients currently. We have heard from so many listeners with questions about what to about their own weddings - whether it’s in 3 weeks or 9 months. We know you all have questions and this is such a confusing time - especially because the news and the ‘rules’ are changing every day. Today’s episode is a bonus - a little different than our regular format. We are discussing something extremely timely - the Corona Virus and how weddings are affected. We are joined by Kathryn Kalabokes, Director of Weddings and Social Events at Julia Morgan Ballroom. We address this pandemic from our perspective inside the wedding industry and working with our own clients currently. We have heard from so many listeners with questions about what to about their own weddings - whether it’s in 3 weeks or 9 months. We know you all have questions and this is such a confusing time - especially because the news and the ‘rules’ are changing every day. We are going to mention websites that have the latest information about the virus and the measures our country is taking. We will include links to all sources mentioned in our show notes on the website and we will include the links/names of the guests that we are talking to, or that we have gotten quotes from. We are not experts in the medical field or in emergency preparation! We are all in this together - we are all doing the best we can with the information we have. That being said - with the podcast as a platform, Big Takeaways: Postponing is the number one thing. Most vendors are being very flexible and understanding. If you don’t have a planner, the absolute first thing you need to do is call your venue. Keep a paper trail, as well. Email is important so you know exactly what you agreed. After the venue, trickle down to the other vendors. Don’t forget to contact your sales rep at hotels for your room blocks. Everyone is feeling the pain of this crisis. Cough or sneeze into your elbow! Don’t shake hands. Wash your hands for 20-30 seconds aka two rounds of “happy birthday.” Sanitize and disinfect your phone, light switches, and doorknobs! Don’t panic. Look up your local county health website and have the emergency number handy. From Irina of Allé Travel (Episode 142) Airlines are being very accommodating. The only issue is hold times for calls. Delta reported over 6 hours wait times. All airlines are trying to make it easier to make changes online. Try calling at off hours, if you need to reach immediately. If it’s not urgent, hold off a couple days. The big need is getting Americans back to America. When it comes to hotels, the best bet is rescheduling, not cancelling. Your guests love to be communicated with. Even if you don’t have the specifics yet, share what you do know. It will be valuable to keep everyone in the loop as much as you can. Insurance: It won’t help to add insurance now. It’s sort of like a pre-existing condition. - If you already have it, look over what’s covered! Links We Referenced: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2020/03/12/coronavirus-live-updates/ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/12/world/europe/trump-travel-ban-coronavirus.html Where to go for the most up-to-date information https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/summary.html https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 https://www.npr.org/tags/804916759/covid-19 http://alletravel.co https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/03/coronavirus-what-does-social-distancing-mean/607927/ ** Quotes** “Some people are in dire straits here and wish that their biggest problem is a private special event... It’s the problems we cannot solve with money that are real problems.” - Christy “As long as it’s in writing, and everyone’s on board, I think that’s really the way for everyone to feel okay moving forward.” - Kathryn “One of the best ways we can show love to the people we care about is to step back and to stay away. In many cases that takes courage, and it takes speaking out over these social norms that dictate that we should be polite and we should be together and we should celebrate and gather. Really seriously consider whether now is a joyful time to gather family members for a wedding celebration.” - Carolyn Cannuscio (from The Atlantic article) “Is it worth having a wedding when you can’t hug your grandparents that came to that wedding?” - Christy “Close your eyes and visualize the day that you want. It’s about the feelings and the little moments... We’re always encouraging you to remember the reason why you’re getting married, and if this is going to put a cloud over that and make that experience that you wanted to create for yourself and your guests impossible, it’s okay to reschedule, postpone, and put value on that experience you want to have.” - Christy “Try to stay positive. Don’t hug each other. We’re sending you virtual hugs.” - Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: Kathryn Kalabokes.
51 minutes | a year ago
#187 Spend Your Money Where It Matters
Petronella Lugemwa is an international wedding and marriage proposal photographer, speaker, writer and storyteller based out of the New York area who specializes in helping multicultural couples celebrate their love in a modern way and believes that what makes you different makes you beautiful. As a wedding photographer, Petronella sees it all and has put together a list for us all about how she sees couples spending money on elements at the wedding day that really don’t ‘matter’ to guests. We’re talking about impact, priorities, and putting the money where it really matters on your wedding day. Big Takeaways Top ways couples spend money that doesn’t matter to guests *1. Investing in decor that’s trendy that will “look” good for Instagram or social media but doesn't mean anything to you. * This list includes: attire, shoes, decor, wedding traditions like garter toss, diamond encrusted cake cutting knife engraved with your name. Decide why you’re doing something. Don’t do something because you feel like you’re supposed to do it. There is no “must have." What does it mean to you as an individual vs couple? Story: Sweetheart tables with all the things - initials, candlesticks, signage, florals, sparkly linens = Innate ability to tell when something is intentional. Guests want to see you happy. If you're doing something purely out of obligation and it doesn’t mean much to you, it’ll show in your photos & guest experience. Who are the most important people: family, out of town guests traveled far, grandparents, who might not be there much longer. How can I make the most important people feel special 2. Too much Cocktail Hour or Dessert Food A room overflowing with cocktail food means no one will eat dinner & cake. A room with too many desserts but most of your guests aren’t into dessert or because it’s a Sunday wedding, guests head out soon after speeches, so the food goes to waste. Think about who your guests are & when you’re having wedding - what makes sense in terms of food. What day & time of day - will my guests enjoy this & actually eat this? 3. Ceremony Chair cover upgrades Invest in comfortable, good chairs that look good on their own Most ceremony are short Ceremony chair cover takes away overall decor. 4. Favors: A grab bag filled with a hodgepodge of random favors chosen because that’s you feel like you need to put together 1. a. Story: I’m sorry our favors were so cheap vs expensive favors like some friend’s wedding - Robes & lotion & makeup Think about your guests Story: rum cake = ties back to person’s culture Better to have 1 intentionally curated, thoughtful favor OR nothing 5. A specific shot list of specific Pinterest images curated for “the Gram” Curate a list of 25 Pinterest images in 3 different locations that end up making guests waiting for hours during cocktail hour for you to show up Your guests won’t care that you have Most of my clients love the images that happen organically So much can’t control on day, it’s hard to say I want this specific Pinterest image Decide if it’s worth it to you to get ready several hours earlier or the day after the wedding to do a shot list of 25 Pinterest images in different locations before the wedding 6. Ambient Lighting vs Uplighting vs Upgraded Laser Lighting from DJ My recommendation is always continuous, clean, white or yellow lighting on the dance floor and colored lighting as uplighting on the sides vs on dance floor Opt for clean, natural light from lighting professionals = colored lighting can look cool for reception dancing but during first dance Story: couple hired lighting team who put up blue lights but her look was all white Make sure lighting will not overpower decor and color or theme Story: colored spot lighting during first dance Guests: the DJ & MC make the wedding celebration fun. If the entertainment isn’t great, strobe lighting isn’t going to make the wedding more fun for the guests. 7. Drone Footage Sounds cool but it’s only worth it if the location is spectacular or has scenery. If you’re getting married in a building or barn Upgrading to have 1 - 2min of drone won’t make guests go wow STORY: Make sure you have permission to fly a drone. Might upgrade to get a drone and then find out you need a permit or your location is within 10miles of an airport, so the drone won’t even go up. 8. Fancy Escort Cards Most are immediately looked at & thrown away Invest in an overall escort card display vs each card Use the escort cards to educate the guests about who you are, make it into a game to network with other guests or share info a charitable cause If it’s a fancy escort card, have the escort card do more than just find a seat 9. Luxe Stationery for Invitations for all guests Go all out on stationary for your family and a select key guests For everyone else, opt for stationery that conveys the vibe of your wedding but doesn’t have all the bells & whistles of the luxe, upgraded stationary = most guests won't notice Note that additional details like wax seal, on the stationery will cost extra shipping but it’s worth it to create a keepsake for family and yourself, maybe not for those who won’t appreciate it as much 10. Guest List Are the people attending your wedding important to you and your families Tricky subject: inviting people out of obligation could mean an awkward guest experience Guests can impact the vibe of the wedding & your experience of your wedding - choose wisely Key Takeaways: What You Should Do Create a list of all the things & then agree on the 3 things matters to you and focus on that. Be intentional about a few things Figure out who’s coming to the wedding & create an experience caters to them vs “Gram or what supposed to do How to make most important people feel special What the Guest Experience about Entertainment a. Entertainment b. Food c. Flow of the day d. Most important people Getting to spend time with you on dance floor e. Have visuals that bring to life the story of your day through photography & videography f. Hire a team armed with information about what matters to you & who will stand up for you knowing what matters too you hired with your best g. Invest in Your Own Planner & Designer vs Venue Coordinator Venue coordinator is there to ensure day flows according to what’s best for the venue Links we referenced: instagram.com/petronellaphotography bypetronella.com Quotes: “Please don’t do chair covers.” - Michelle “Spend your money where you want, but just pick something that makes sense for you.” - Petronella “A venue coordinator is not a planner. They are there to make sure the venue’s needs are met.” - Petronella “I really think people should just have fun, be themselves, be authentic. You don’t have to do anything.” - Petronella “If you’re having fun, your photos will be wonderful.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: email@example.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: Petronella Lugemwa .
50 minutes | a year ago
#186 - Celebrity Stylist and Bride To Be
Micaela joins Michelle today to share about her experiences, dress shopping tips, how to shop if you don’t have the money to buy couture and more. Big Takeaways How early is too early to buy gown? Micaela says believes there isn’t really a time too soon to start looking. Depending on where you are getting your look from, you have to account for alteration time. If you are buying off the rack, buy something that fits. You can always take something in, but you won’t be able to make it much larger. You don’t want to deal with a broken zipper or popped button day-of. It’s hard to find a transitional time in the evening for outfit changes. Work with the planner to figure out your timing so the events are not interrupted and the bride and groom can just keep enjoying the evening. When you don’t have the money to spend on couture — some simple ways to step up your outfit game: Come prepared to your dress fitting, bring all the right undergarments and shoes, etc. Invest in your alterations. Hair and make-up really elevate any look. Do a trial ahead of time, fall in love with the whole look and feel. Links we referenced unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding instagram.com/micaela https://maison-de-mode.com https://micaelaerlanger.com/bridal/ https://micaelaerlanger.com/ Quotes “I believe that walking down the aisle is the closest thing to walking down the red carpet.” - Micaela “Sometimes those dresses are just so special, they inspire people.” - Micaela “If your dress doesn’t fit, it’s not going to look expensive.” - Micaela Get In Touch EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Plus Ad alpinerings.com (15% off sitewide!)Special Guest: Micaela Erlanger.Sponsored By:Alpine Rings: The Big Wedding Planning Podcast listeners receive 15% discount site wide and Alpinerings.com Promo Code: BIGWEDDING
43 minutes | a year ago
#185 BONUS: National Wedding Planning Day!
Our guest today is Kim Forrest, Senior Editor at WeddingWire. She has been writing about wedding soft over a decade, specializing in etiquette and planning advice. She has previously written for brides.com, Brides Local Magazine, and Washingtonian Bride & Groom, and has been quoted as a wedding expert in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Huffington Post, Refinery29, and more. Big Takeaways Have conversations about the type of wedding you want to have. Big or small? What season? Style? What venue? In the beginning, these can just be light and fun conversations to have to start putting together what you want in the future. And you can make sure you and your future spouse and family are all on the same page. Take your time. And put on a united front with your partner. Write it down, take notes so you can look back at them later. When it comes to the registry, you are not limited to the normal kitchen, bathroom, bedroom goods. You can register for camping equipment, pet supplies, and really anything that feels personal and unique to you. If you’re not going to use it, don’t register for it. People want to give you gifts that mean something to you. If there is a trend doesn’t feel relevant or personal to you, you don’t have to do it. Your wedding is your big day, and there is no need to fit into the popular wedding designs. There are ways to implement certain trends while still fitting your tastes, too. For instance, sustainability is a big deal to many couples, and is something to take into consideration while planning the day. After the basic first conversations, the first thing to do is find the wedding venue. After that is nailed down, you can start to think about the vendors, the designs, and all of the bits and pieces that pull the day together. Most of your guests decide if they are coming to your wedding before the save the date even arrives in the mail. Your wedding is your day, and the big goal is to make the day personal and special for you and YOUR guests. It’s okay to not follow all the traditions. If you don’t want to be put on display for a first dance, then don’t do it! Do what feels right to you. There is no rule book anymore. Links we referenced weddingwire.com facebook.com/weddingwire twitter.com/weddingwire instagram.com/weddingwire instagram.com/kimforrestrichards Quotes “When you get into the weeds of wedding planning, you can look back at the things you discussed at first to see what was really important to you.” - Kim “You know your style, you know your taste, we’ve figured out your priorities, we know your budget. So, let’s make this short and sweet. We don’t have to reach out to every single photographer.” - Michelle “I love a good set of personalized vows.” - Kim “I love this idea of National Wedding Planning Day, because it’s a great way to jumpstart your wedding planning experience and really take ownership of it and have fun.” - Kim Get In Touch EMAIL: email@example.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guest: Kim Forrest.
49 minutes | a year ago
#184 You Ask, We Answer - 27
Our monthly installment of You Ask, We Answer. Where we answer all sorts of questions from our listeners. TOPIC #1 - NOAHS VENUE CLOSING Company in deep debt, couples left with no returned deposit and no wedding venue. What to do if this happens with your venue? Don’t despair. Keep moving forward. You can do it. It’s hard and it sucks, but we have heard the industry is coming together to help as much as they can! Contracts You have to read the contracts VERY carefully. Especially brick and mortar. Hire professionals that have contracts that would pass the basic contract test. Ask lots of questions, pass it by your planner, get clear about what it means! Insurance Wedding day insurance would help! But bankruptcy is bankruptcy. Upfront costs (one couple put $17000 down for Noahs which included a bar tab and upgraded linens. They will not get that money back) This isn’t normal. Most venues do not require such a large deposit. Read the fine print! Ask lots of questions. *Question #1: Booze or No Booze? * I have been LOVING binging the podcast! I'm about 100 episodes in and still going (I'm a college student so time for listening is limited). I'm a young bride and my family hasn't had any recent weddings so mine is the first one in a while! Our wedding isn't until May 2021, and we are on a tight budget. My fiancé and I have been struggling with a decision regarding alcohol. My family is extremely conservative and don't like alcohol, and his family couldn't care less (they might drink some). We both think it would be nice to have a signature cocktail or something simple, but have reservations due to my family's judgement. I don't want to feel scrutinized on my wedding day for having a drink. My parents are contributing a lot to the wedding and wouldn't be too happy to have alcohol there. However, our friends/ bridal party would definitely be let down with a dry wedding. We're also a little concerned our friends may go a little crazy since we're the first wedding of the group. We don't want anyone getting really drunk at the reception, and wold like to save that type of energy for the after-party. So, how can we please all of our guests and ourselves as the couple? Our friends who like to "have fun", and my family who hates the thought of alcohol? Any guidance would be helpful, we're just torn! Thank you for all the help you've provided me thus far on the podcast! ** Answer:** Totally understand your conundrum. What are the hours of your reception? If you are having an after party and are concerned about guests getting 'too crazy' at the reception, I think you can definitely keep it short -- like only an hour of open dancing, rather than 2+. During this time, I think you can compromise with the alcohol. I think the best way to do this is to have only 1-2 options and both to be light cocktails. For example, a mimosa has less alcohol content than a vodka tonic. Having bartenders that have been instructed to only serve the cocktails mixed (no one can order a mimosa- hold-the-juice) and to not pour super-strong, and to not pour for guests that appear tipsy or rowdy. Or - if you want to have a long reception, just cut the bar after an hour or drinking post- dinner. It’s there, it’s free, its limited choice, and then it's just closed. Keep in mind that beer/wine receptions usually have less drunk people than a reception that serves hard alcohol. I agree with you - if I was in college or my twenties and I went to a friends wedding, it would be a bummer if it was dry. I've been to plenty of dry weddings - but they were all of friends that I knew were very religious. OR - a brunch wedding. Brunch weddings are far more chill and you can do an espresso bar or smoothie bar in place of a bar-bar. And you can plan a bomb after party at a beer garden or pub or something afterwards - and you and all your friends can celebrate more there, without you feeling like you are disrespecting your parents. Question #2 (in 4 parts): A few Loose Ends as Planning winds down Question 1: What do you do when there isn't much left to do?? I feel like I'm on high- alert everyday on what I could maybe be forgetting! I feel like I hear a lot about beginning stages and big decisions of wedding planning, but not the end stages of it. *Answer 1: * It might make you feel better to just reach out to every key vendor and check in - review details and get them to confirm. It always makes me feel more confident to get those emails back that say - "Yep! We are all good. You don't owe a balance, we'll be there at 9am!" You can also list out the items that you will be bringing - and pack them up, label the boxes, keep a key list so that no matter who transports and sets up - they'll know exactly what to do. Also - put together a little personal emergency kit for yourself. Question 2: I don't know where we should start cutting the cake; from the top tier?... from the middle? Who is supposed to cut and serve it? Can I ask a bartender to do this or would I be an asshole for asking? Answer 2: You need to ask your cake baker exactly where to cut the cake (GREAT question!) - if you have a planner - she will walk you through that part during the reception. If not, make sure cake cutting is in the timeline and the caterer, DJ and photographer are all aware of it. Then when you go to cut the cake - you just cut a small sliver-triangle - usually off the bottom or second from the bottom piece - you only cut into the one tier - you don't cut deep enough that it goes into two tiers. Then you put that piece on a plate - each take a bite - get the photos and the caterer should swoop in and take the cake 'to the back' to slice and plate it. In some cases, this is done on a big table in front of guests, but it is executed quickly and carefully by a professional. IF you don't have a caterer there to do it - you will need to have assigned someone this task ahead of time. Maybe have them watch a youtube video or something! Always feel free to ask your cake baker these questions too! Question 3: Tips on focusing brain away from the wedding? I want to avoid being a bride that cries because it is all over and currently I can barely focus on work because so close to day-of. Answer 3: It’s a big thing that has been taking up a lot of space in your mind for months now and when it's over - it will feel like a relief and a fever dream and you will probably feel a little sad about it! You may not know what to do with all that time and energy. It's ok - it's normal. Focus on things like photo-album making and printing, nesting with the new gifts you have, writing thank you notes, and planning the future with your partner now that the wedding is over. Remember - a wedding is just a party. For real. The marriage is the important part and the exciting part! It takes work and attention and openness. Be present to experience all of that. Question 4: Day-of nerves and jitters: How to avoid? What to do? (P.S. It isn’t the marriage, it’s the wedding) *Answer 4: * As far as day-of nerves...try to design a day (like all the hours before the ceremony actually starts) that you know is enjoyable and relaxing for you. There are factors that will go into that - crating that day. Envision those hours now and put plans in place that will help you make that a reality. What do you like to do on your BEST days? The days you are most excited about. The days you forget about your diet, your computer, your obligations...and just enjoy them. It could be as simple as starting out the day with your favorite donut and a latte from your favorite 'special' place. Making sure you have the music you like in the getting-ready room. Telling your best friends and mom to not let you XYZ, or to make sure that you sit and eat, or to ensure that your cousin Jill doesn't come in and be all negative like she always does. You know the elements of what makes a day great for you...try to put things in place ahead of time and then on the day of - remember to just roll with it, take deep breaths, laugh, smile and move through it all. It goes by fast and it should be FUN! Links we referenced https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/wedding-chain-noahs-event-venue- closes-abruptly-stranding-up-to-7500-brides-and-grooms/ar-BBZVdSr?li=BBnbfcN zola.com/bigwedding use promo code: SAVE50 unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding Get In Touch EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast **Sponsored By:Zola: Sign up at zola.com/bigwedding today to get your FREE personalized paper sample. Then use code SAVE50 to get 50% off your save the dates. Promo Code: SAVE50
59 minutes | a year ago
# 183 - Wedding Weekend Planning
Jennifer and Kimberly both come to the event world from creative industries. Jennifer studied fashion in NYC at the Fashion Institute of NY, freelanced in Miami doing film and television and eventually returned to Michigan to join Kimberly in launching a company for someone else. When that didn’t quite pan out, the two sisters started their own event firm. Kimberly studied technical theatre design and production. After college she toured for several seasons with the Big Apple Circus as well as Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey in various roles from electrician and spotlight operator to props master and rigger. After leaving the road she came back to Detroit and fell into the event industry. She and Jennifer started their business in 2002 with a heavy focus on corporate events. They reinvented their business in 2004 and Something Fabulous was born as a Boutique Event Management & Design with Your Moment In Mind. They join us today to talk about all the events surrounding the wedding! Big Takeaways Consider what memory you want to make, what your wishes are for the events, what your timeline is and what your budget it is. All these are important factors in designing the experiences. Rehearsal dinners don’t have to be in a restaurant. It’s more about the connection and the celebration of the couple. Big ideas that don’t get to make it into the wedding can be done in the rehearsal. Keep the rehearsal simple, anyone involved in the wedding ceremony. The rehearsal dinner can have more people, but you definitely don’t have to invite every out of town guest. It’s a personal choice and a budget choice. Though an invitation is not required, you can send one. You can invite digitally! It’s a great way to save money. Welcome drinks should be considered more of a happy hour and less of a party. There are options for how it’s paid for. Some couples choose to contribute a certain amount of money, or give an optional itinerary and have guests meet at a bar, or they sometimes to choose to pay for the whole thing. Really there is no right away to do the welcome drinks. When it comes to brunch, determine, first, who is coming! Some people want to pack up and head straight home the next day, and some are staying. They are usually very casual, and relaxed. And can be a rolling event, like the food is out and the guests can pop in and out when they want to within the hours of the brunch. Q&As: Question: I do have a question about after-wedding brunch! We have set up 2 hotel wedding blocks, under a 10-minute drive from each other. One is a historic hotel downtown, and the other is a newer Marriott on the edge of town (we live in Roanoke, VA so traffic isn't really a concern). My family is staying in the historic hotel, and my fiancé’s family is staying at the Marriott. How do we decide where to have brunch the day after? The historic hotel has a nicer restaurant, but you have to pay for parking. Would it be better to arrange brunch at a third location that's more "neutral"? Plus, we're not even sure where my fiancé and I are staying yet. My parents have offered to pay for brunch and recommended we do whatever is simpler for us, but I'm really not sure what that is. I would love any advice you can give! Thanks for everything!! Answer: This is a matter of personal preference, but we would ask - what do you hope to experience at this brunch? Is it for guest convenience and hospitality after the big day? Who will actually attend? You may find that one family will be leaving and only have a couple of guests actually show up at the brunch. This could help you determine which location is best. We find that many times the after wedding brunch is a chance for the bride and groom to visit with guests in a way that the pre-wedding events don’t allow. Think about what the actual needs and requirements of the guest and couples experience are and then choose your final plans based on that. If you are thoughtful in going about making your plans you can’t really go wrong. Question: Because our wedding is a Friday night, we were planning on doing a winery day on Saturday for anyone and everyone. How would we go about inviting? On the wedding website? In a card in the invite? We already need to have people RSVP for the wedding, have select people RSVP for a separate reception we are holding in a different state a month later since a lot of family can't come across the country, and it seems insane to try to ask people to also RSVP for a winery day so we could reserve space. Do websites even do that many options for an RSVP? (We're using Zola bc duh) Answer: You can have an rsvp designed to list the different events and have people select which ones they’ll attend. This isn’t uncommon as people often host multiple events over a weekend and need counts to make final arrangements. Websites can provide details and further explanation around the reasons for the extra responses. Question: We got a really great deal with our venue where they included a rehearsal dinner and day after brunch with our wedding! But, we have a lot of guests coming from out of state (my future hubby is from Missouri, and most of his family lives there, but the wedding is in NY where I am from) and we really want to show everyone a good time in the days leading up to the wedding! We live about an hour away from our wedding venue, but would like to host some wedding weekend activities in our home city. One thing that is confusing us a bit is where we should reserve hotel blocks/suggest our guests stay- in our city where we plan to host pre- wedding things and where we will be until the wedding, or an hour away in a hotel closer to the venue? What can we do to make this more convenient for everybody? Also, our wedding is on a Sunday, but what is the best way to communicate that we plan to have events with our guests on the Friday and Saturday before the wedding? Answer: This one I tricky because you really need to think about the wedding memory you’re trying to make. The sight seeing and experience sharing is great, but people are coming for a wedding so they are probably expecting to spend time with family and reconnect. This can be counter to the sightseeing experience you’re envisioning. What does a good time look like to both of you? What types of things are available to do closer to your venue? What suggestions can your venue give you for entertaining guests? It’s important to get clear on the guest experience and your own memory making. You might find it’s best to design a weekend experience around the venue and local opportunities that will give guests a chance to relax, enjoy each other and your company. Your home city could be highlighted through details and story telling. And you could always welcome guests to come back for a visit and experience the places you love on a more individual scale. Shuttling back and forth can get tricky and moving hotels can be logistically difficult as well. The most important aspect of this weekend is your wedding and all of the details that go along with rehearsals, ceremony, reception and get-away brunch. You might find it best to keep your travel to a minimum and the logistics a little bit simpler for guests. Links we referenced unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding somethingfab.com facebook.com/somethingfabulous instagram.com/somethingfabulous pinterest.com/somethingfab1/something-fabulous-designs zola.com/bigwedding Quotes “We always start with the question, ‘what is the memory you want to make?’” - Kimberly “People love when you take them to places that you love.” - Christy “Remember the wedding is the main event of the weekend.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: email@example.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcastSpecial Guests: Jennifer Charles and Kimberly Allen.
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