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"Technically, I did celebrate -- if you count 10 boneless buffalo wings & an appetizer plate of fried pickles delivered directly to your doorstep in under an hour." THIS WEEK: A letter from a hater, a voice memo from a lover + writer/comedian/actual college-grad ERIN WILLIAMS (briefly) drops in, and gives her thoughts on the Valentines vibe.

"Clearly, whatever game she's spitting has me beat - because I am giving a total of zero blowjobs, in zero courthouse hallways."

"Do you think it's okay to share dick pics from your boyfriend with all of your girlfriends?" + Comedian/Actress/Friend/Dork Katie Rodriguez (@myfairkttt) joins me this week (!!!) to get to the bottom of the important questions in life.

"Clearly, Shawty only wants you over for one thing - and one thing only. If that's the one thing you want, that's fine. BUT...when you're 50 and alone (and cold) Netflix & Chilling on your own is not going to get you anywhere."

"The great thing about McDonald's is that they have a lot of different things on the menu. I love their salads." - Beyonce Knowles