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In today’s episode, we cover the myth about success with David Meltzer. David is the Co-founder of Sports 1 Marketing and formerly served as CEO of the renowned Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment agency, which was the inspiration for the movie Jerry Maguire.   While “money can’t buy happiness” is a phrase most people in today’s world are familiar with, many of us still chase after money as if it will buy us happiness - so what is it about this truth we can’t seem to let go of and what can you do every day to lead a more fulfilling life without money?   What to Listen For What is the biggest myth about success?  What does it mean to “shop for the right things” and why is that phrase so important when you start attaining financial success? How do you start practicing gratitude when you feel like you have nothing to be grateful for? What are the 3 votes you make each day that influence whether or not you can live a successful, fulfilling life? What 3 concepts can you internalize that will give you motivation on a daily basis? What 5 daily practices can you start implementing today to help you achieve your dreams?   We grow up being told that money doesn’t buy happiness and yet we are surrounded and bombarded with messages about the crap we need to buy in order to make our lives better (aka to make us happier). And many of us are raised in a culture where we expect to give/receive material gifts every year (Christmas, birthdays, etc) because they’ll bring us joy (aka happiness). We have to be able to recognize these signals and then we must be willing to take steps to live outside of them - aware of them, but dismissive of how silly they are.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode David Meltzer’s website Game-Time Decision Making - by David Meltzer The Playbook - hosted by David Meltzer Don't Take Yes for an Answer - by Steve Herz Steve Herz | Why Critical Feedback is Important and How to Ask for It  Think And Grow Rich - by Napoleon Hill A Course in Miracles The Power of Intention - by Wayne Dyer   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTubeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover the myth of linear success with Bruce Feiler. Bruce is the author of seven New York Times bestsellers, the presenter of two prime-time series on PBS, and the inspiration for the drama series Council of Dads on NBC.   Many of us have grown up with a misconception about how life is “supposed to go” - but where does that idea come from, how did people think about life before that better prepared them for major setbacks, and what can we do to better prepare ourselves now for the inevitable pain and suffering we will deal with in our lives?   What to Listen For What is a life quake, how often do they occur in our lives, and how can we prepare for them? Why do many of us have the misconception that life should follow a linear path, how does that prevent us from handling what life throws at us, and what can we do to change our mindset so the stress doesn’t kill us? What is the best response to a setback in life? How should we construct our identity when life will always throw unexpected, stressful, and potentially traumatic events at us that set us back from the linear life path we expect? What can we do when the story we tell ourselves about life is “supposed to be about” is disrupted by unexpected events so we are not crushed by those events? Why does it feel like we are dealing with more and more major life events than generations in the past had to deal with and how can we adapt to so many potential setbacks in life?   We have been led to believe life is supposed to follow a linear path. Many of us think as long as we keep a stable job and work for a good company, our wealth and our lives will keep improving over time. Unfortunately, that is not how life works.    Everything in this universe is cyclical. Life is born and then life dies so more life can take its place. To get stronger, you must apply stress to your body and then let it rest. To navigate all of life’s obstacles, you must push forward, tackle one, and then take a moment to collect yourself before pushing forward to tackle the next one, and some of those obstacles can knock you down and keep you down longer than you “want to be.”   But we can’t let that stop us from learning and moving forward.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Bruce Weiler’s website Life Is in the Transitions   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover finding fulfillment at work with Carson Tate. Carson is the author of Own It. Love It. Make It Work, the founder of Working Simply, and is a renowned expert on workplace productivity.   We have been taught to find the job we love, but what if you could learn to love any job you have instead - what would you have to do, how can you set yourself up for success, and how do you find a great mentor to guide you?   What to Listen For What is the fundamental flaw behind trying to escape from your problems? Why does fear keep so many people miserable at their jobs and what can you do about it if running to another job just results in the same feeling? How do you create opportunities for positive feedback at work when you feel you are not being appreciated? How can you discover your strengths to forge ahead in your professional life? What is the ladder of interference, why do you need to get off of it, and what can you do to get off of it before it’s too late? What can you do to cultivate a healthier working environment so it’s not holding you back from success and fulfillment? What is the SCARF framework and how can you use it to improve your relationships? What is emotional theater and how can you use it to take a step back from a difficult situation and look at it how it is affecting you objectively so you can think clearly about what to do? Why is the compliment sandwich NOT an effective way to give feedback and what should you do instead? How should you go about finding a mentor and what should you NOT do to make sure you don’t push them away?   It has been drilled into us by inspirational speakers and countless successful people that we won’t be able to find fulfillment in what we do for work until we find the one job that we love.    But how many jobs are you going to have to work before you find that job?   What if instead, you could learn to find fulfillment in every job you take by focusing on some key aspects of the job and why they matter to you. By doing this, you can take pride in your work and give it the effort necessary for you to succeed and leave a great impression on those around you so you’ll develop a solid network that will launch you to even greater success.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Carson Tate’s website Own It. Love It. Make It Work. by Carson Tate SCARF Framework by David Rock   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover emotional connection with Michael Herold. Michael is the instructor for the Art of Charm’s Core Confidence program and uses evidence-based psychotherapy to help clients overcome their social anxiety and become the best versions of themselves.   In today’s data-driven world, many of us are struggling to connect with those around us because we don’t know how to connect on an emotional level, but what does it mean to connect emotionally, what three rock solid steps can you take to deepen the connections with those around you, and how should you lead a conversation to make others feel comfortable around you?   What to Listen For What three steps can you take to make a deeper connection with everyone you meet? Why is it impossible to connect with other humans using facts and data, and what should you use instead? How can you ask deeper questions that lead to fascinating conversations and deeper connections? What questions can you ask to deepen your relationships with anyone? What are the 3 levels of rapport we go through to connect with other people and why can going through them out of order lead to pushing people away when meeting them? What is the difference between light, medium, and heavy disclosure and when is it appropriate to approach each level? Why is it dangerous to ask too many questions in a conversation and how should you balance the asking of questions to make a conversation flow smoothly?  Why is there no such thing as the perfect question or perfect answer in a fluid conversation? How should you word your questions to elicit thoughtful answers rather than cold data-driven answers? How do you lean into emotional content during conversations so the conversation doesn’t fall flat?   Human beings don’t connect with other human beings through facts and figures. We connect based on shared emotional experiences. But it can be difficult to tap into those shared emotional experiences if you’re uncomfortable asking open ended questions and sharing your feelings, aspirations, and fears. And in order to break through that discomfort, you have to do more than read a book or listen to a podcast - you must be willing to go out and talk to people.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness 36 Questions to Fall in Love The Art of Charm Core Confidence 8-week Program The Art of Charm X-Factor Year Long Mentorship Program   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover prioritization with Geoff Woods. Geoff is the Vice President of The ONE Thing and the host of The ONE Thing podcast which is in the top 5% of all podcasts in the world.   Many of us get distracted by everything we think we have to do and all the directions other people pull us in, but if we let all of those things consume our time, we’ll never get to where we want to be, so how do you figure out what you need to do and accomplish your dreams?   What to Listen For What is the one thing behind extraordinary results and how can you find out what your ONE thing is? What framework can you use to figure out what to focus your time and energy on? How do you narrow down a to-do list to figure out what the most important items are? What can you do to stay disciplined and focused on the important tasks in your personal and professional lives? How do you build more discipline? How do you improve different areas of your life if you’re only focusing on one thing at a time? How do you set goals that pull you toward them? What can you do to strengthen your willpower and use it in a meaningful way? What is the value in finding a coach to help you achieve your goals and dreams?   Multitasking has been scientifically proven to be less effective than focusing on one task at a time. However, focusing on the wrong tasks one at a time will also be ineffective. First, we must come up with a clear vision of what we want, and then drill down to the smallest tasks we can accomplish on a daily and weekly basis. This way we are able to track our progress toward the long term goal while also prioritizing the important tasks over less important tasks that might get thrown our way everyday.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode The ONE Thing book The ONE Thing website The ONE Thing podcast  Your 411 Worksheet   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we rethink the definition of success with J Douglas Holladay. Doug is the founder and CEO of Path North, a Georgetown University professor, former White House advisor, and the author of Rethinking Success: Eight Essential Practices for Finding Meaning in Work and Life.   In an age when more and more people are finding themselves trapped by the idea of a nonstop pursuit of material wealth, it’s time to take a moment and redefine what success should mean before we run ourselves into the ground, so what should success look like and what can we do to find long-lasting success that genuinely makes us better people?   What to Listen For What’s wrong with the current definition of success and why do we need to rethink it before we run ourselves into the ground? What is the difference between happiness and meaning, and how do you differentiate between the two so you are not chasing fleeting moments and rewards? Why is it more important to be comfortable sharing your weaknesses and failures instead of your strengths and successes? What role does forgiveness play in our ability to build and maintain relationships, and why can a lack of forgiveness be our downfall? How do we escape the trap of becoming our parents so we can take their best traits and ditch the worst traits? What can you do to find your own narrative while pushing back on everyone around you with their own narrative for who you are and who they expect you to be? What questions can you ask yourself to make sure you are living your story instead of the story everyone else wants you to live? What exercise can you do to integrate what you need to do and what you love to do?   Many of us define success through a lens we develop over years of experience and exposure to the world around us. Unfortunately for many, this has turned into an endless pursuit of more stuff to fill the void inside us created by the same society dangling the trappings of wealth in front of us no matter where we go in the modern world.    It’s time to redefine what success means so we can get out from under the obscene expectations set by society and start living a fulfilled life resulting from living a life inline with our values and not things.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode J Douglas Holladay’s website Rethinking Success by J Douglas Holladay Dr. Michael Rich | Center on Media and Child Health   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover connecting and commitment with Jenn Gottlieb and Chris Winfield. Jenn and Chris are the founders of Super Connector Media and have helped hundreds of humans master the art of connection.   Connecting with people takes intentional effort, but where should that effort go in today’s digital age, what can you do to take the pressure off when connecting with new people, and how can you make the best of networking during the social isolation of COVID?   What to Listen For What question can you ask yourself to give you a jumpstart at networking? What mindset can you adopt to take the pressure off when meeting new people and networking? What exercise can you do to identify the badass moments you’ve had in life even if you feel you haven’t had any? What is the Badass List and how can making one help you overcome imposter syndrome? How do you take solid steps toward the confidence you want? How can you make the most of networking during the social isolation of COVID? What is the 51% Principle and how can you use it to motivate yourself to do the things you know you need to do? What follow up strategy should you use after sending someone an initial pitch or introduction so you don’t turn them away from helping you? What does it mean to be pleasantly persistent? What can you do to make your LinkedIn profile stand out to potential recruiters and employers? What tips can you implement to make Zoom meetings more engaging?   If you want to connect with a new person, the last thing you want to do is ask that person for something. That might sound obvious, but expressing something as simple as “Let’s connect” or “I’d love to pick your brain” is asking for something. Not only that, but it’s ambiguous, so the person on the receiving end doesn’t know why you want to connect or what you want to pick their brain about (and for how long (time = money)).    If you want to connect with someone new, offer that person significantly more value than what you might want from them - ideally, make it so their response takes little to no effort, but hey, we all need to start somewhere.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Chris Winfield’s website Jen Gottlieb’s website Super Connector Be On TV Bootcamp!   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover assertive self-talk with Gary John Bishop. Gary is one of the world’s leading personal development experts and the author of New York Times best-seller, Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life.   How you talk to yourself can mean the difference between success and failure, but what is the “right way” to talk to yourself, how do you avoid negative self-talk, and what can you start doing today to build the future you want and deserve?   What to Listen For What can you do to overcome a victim mentality so it doesn’t set you up for failure moving forward? What can we do to overcome the victim mentality many of us feel after during or after a shitstorm like 2020? Why is changing our behavior crucial to changing our lives and why is positive thinking not enough?  Why is it important for your own development to seek out challenges that force you out of your comfort zone? What is the difference between assertive self-talk and narrative self-talk, and why should you avoid one because it sets you up for failure? Why do words matter when it comes to describing our life experience and how do we choose words that don’t set us up for failure? What is wisdom and what can you do to become wise? What can you do to not get bitter or salty as you get older? What is a shitstorm and how do they help us develop strength and wisdom? What great exercise can you start doing today to be more positive about your future?   The words we use to describe ourselves and the world around us determine how we live our lives and express ourselves to the people we meet, so the language we use can set us up for success or failure, and beyond that, your language must be backed up by action or all the words in the world won’t save you from disaster. Everyday we wake up, we are hitting the reset button and have the opportunity to take steps toward where we want to be, or take steps away from it by doing the same things we’ve always done.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Gary John Bishop’s website Wise As Fu*k by Gary John Bishop Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop Stop Doing That Sh*t by Gary John Bishop Do The Work by Gary John Bishop   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover conscious leadership with John Mackey. John is the CEO and cofounder of Whole Foods as well as author of bestselling Conscious Capitalism and Conscious Leadership.   Being an effective leader is not just about leading the people around you, but being conscious of each individual and how you can help them grow around you, so what can you do to become a conscious leader, think about your competition in a positive way, and create an empowering environment at work and home?   What to Listen For What is the difference between leadership and conscious leadership and how do you balance the two? How do you lead with love in the cutthroat world of business? How should you think about competition if you are a business owner so that you think of your competitors in a positive light rather than something that needs to be beaten? Why is it important for conscious leaders to have a strong vision and how can not having one lead to disaster? What 3 tips can you follow to learn from your mistakes if you want to be successful? What signals can you look for in prospective employees for high emotional intelligence? What can you do to create an empowering environment in your workplace? How can you respond to criticism in a healthy positive manner? Why is gratitude so important to being happy and what gratitude practice can you use to lead a happier and more fulfilling life?   Being conscious of the people around you takes effort, even more so when you are also in a leadership position since you are relying on the people around you for your own success and so it can be easy to forget to treat everyone the way each individual wants to be treated. But nothing worthwhile in life is obtained with ease, and the effort you put into being a conscious leader will pay off in the long run when the people around you support you and do everything they can to help you succeed.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Conscious Leadership: Elevating Humanity Through Business by John Mackey Conscious Capitalism: Liberating the Heroic Spirit of Business by John Mackey   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover the innovation stack with Jim McKelvey. Jim is an entrepreneur most known for cofounding Square and the author of The Innovation Stack: Building an Unbeatable Business One Crazy Idea at a Time.   Innovation is not something that happens when you want it to, but when you’re backed into a corner and innovation is the only way out - so what can you do to prepare yourself and your company to make sure you’re in the best place to innovate when the time comes?   What to Listen For What does it mean to get comfortable with discomfort and why is it important if you want to survive in a rapidly changing world? What is the difference between an entrepreneur and a business person? How can you tell if an idea is a billion dollar idea? What does it mean for an idea to be a billion person idea? How does your ability to build relationships influence your ability to build a business? Why is it important to be both audacious and humble as an entrepreneur? What is linguistic gravity and why is it important when trying to convey the significance of an idea you have? What is an innovation stack and why is it integral to your success as an entrepreneur? What is LaunchCode and how is it improving the industry of software development?   Being an entrepreneur requires a certain amount of comfort with the uncomfortable. As an entrepreneur, you are doing something that has never been done before, or you’re doing something that you’ve never done before, which means there won’t be a clear cut solution to every problem you encounter. If you are not comfortable with being uncomfortable, it will be more difficult to solve the hard problems and you will be more likely to walk away after being uncomfortable for too long. The most successful entrepreneurs appreciate the feeling of discomfort because they recognize that is where the real learning and innovation takes place.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/CHARM. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.   Resources from this Episode The Innovation Stack by Jim McKelvey Jim McKelvey’s website LaunchCode - “Land Your Dream Job in Tech”   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover vulnerability and curiosity with Guy Raz. Guy is a host and correspondent who has interviewed more than 6,000 people, is the co-creator of How I Built This and the TED Radio Hour, and is now the author of How I Built This: The Unexpected Paths to Success from the World’s Most Inspiring Entrepreneurs.   Expressing vulnerability and genuine curiosity can lead to fantastic conversations, so what does it mean to be vulnerable in a conversation, how can you inspire others to open up more, and how do you choose to be more curious?   What to Listen For How did Guy Raz get his start as a podcast host? What can you do to inspire people to open up more in conversation? What can you do if you are struggling with depression and you’re not sure where to turn? Why are more and more people contending with depression and anxiety today and what can we do about it? What is the secret to happiness and why is it simpler than many of us think? How can you change the way you view risk so it doesn’t stand in your way to happiness and success? What mindsets allow you to face down adversity when you would normally give up and walk away? How can we help build resilience in children? What tips can you use to build a network that will help you find fulfillment and success? What can you do to recapture the curiosity so many of us let go of as we become adults?   A nurtured sense of curiosity is one of the most important traits you can have when it comes to engaging people in interesting conversations. A  conversation is a two way street - if someone expresses a thought or feeling, curiosity about her, or her thought or feeling, is what allows you to follow up with genuine interest in what she has to say by relating to your own experience and/or asking her follow up questions that let her know what she has to say is important.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Guy Raz’s website How I Built This by Guy Raz How I Built This - a podcast hosted by Guy Raz   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover how to think for yourself with Dr. Vikram Mansharamani. Dr. Vikram is a global trend-watcher who shows people how to anticipate the future, manage risk, and spot opportunities, and is the author of Think For Yourself: Restoring Common Sense in an Age of Experts and Artificial Intelligence. We’re often told to think for ourselves, but how do you separate your thoughts from the bombardment of information we receive from our devices and the people around us and what can we do to think critically about the ideas and opinions we read and hear every day?   What to Listen For What can you do to identify the influences in your life and keep them in check so you’re not constantly pushed in many different directions? How do you determine what decisions in your life are worth worrying about? What can you do to stop wasting so much time on the tougher decisions in your life so you can keep moving forward? What can you do to confuse the algorithms to help give you more unbiased information? What checks can you implement in your life to prevent blind dependence on technology? How do we decide when rules should be followed or broken? What questions can you ask to remove underlying biases for rules, recommendations, or prescriptions? What are the four types of decisions we make and how should we approach each one? What is the Cynefin framework and how can it help you in complex decision making? What is the value in being a generalist vs an expert, and how do we balance the two in our own lives? What can you do to sort through the misinformation to find the truth?   Being able to think for yourself is an increasingly important skill as we continue drowning in ideas and opinions from the people around us and screens in front of us.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Think For Yourself by Vikram Mansharamani Vikram Mansharamani’s website The Cynefin framework Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover getting unstuck from your busy mind with Dr. Jessica Borushok. Jessica is an award winning author and recognized expert in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy who has helped hundreds transform their relationship with their thoughts and optimize their world.   Busy minds keep many of us up late at night needlessly worrying, so what can we do to calm our minds so we can be more present and more productive and what does science say about why our minds race?   What to Listen For What does science say about why our minds race when we’re bored? What are the two ways we use social media and which one is detrimental to your mental and emotional well being? Has technology made our minds busier, and if so, how do we deal with it? Is an affinity for worrying a result of nature or nurture? What question can you ask yourself to figure out if you’re worrying to solve problems or just worrying because you can’t quiet your mind? What can you do to calm your mind when it’s racing? What is the best way to connect with other people? How can you know how to be authentic if you don’t know who your authentic self is? What questions can you ask yourself to decide if your present actions are helping or hurting you?   Our minds are great at manufacturing an endless stream of thoughts, but most of our thoughts are not worth our valuable attention, otherwise we would never get anything done. We also can’t just shut our minds off because it’s the mind’s job to never stop thinking, so what can you do if you feel you are constantly overwhelmed with what is going on between your ears? Most importantly, remember that you are not your thoughts - you are the observer of your thoughts. Your mind is like a roommate you can never kick out, so it’s crucial that you build a healthy relationship with it rather than trying to fight it.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/CHARM. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.   Resources from this Episode The Busy Mind Psychologist - Dr. Jessica’s website Dr. Jessica on Instagram Busy Mind Reboot: 30 Days to Your Best Self   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover imposter syndrome with Dr. Jill Stoddard. Dr. Stoddard is a psychologist, author of Be Mighty, speaker, co-host of the podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, entrepreneur, and women’s advocate.    Imposter syndrome is a fact of life for anyone who is trying to push themselves and it can lead to extreme self-sabotage if left unchecked, so what can you do to overcome it, what does the science say about the topic, and how do you talk to people about it in order to move past it?   What to Listen For What is imposter syndrome and what can you do to overcome it so you don’t sabotage your own success? Where does the research suggest that imposter syndrome comes from? Why do we struggle to internalize success and what can you do to change that so you don’t feel insecure about the work you do? What are the 5 subtypes of imposters and how can knowing yours help eliminate your insecurities? What can you do to overcome the fear or concern around asking for help? What can we do to counteract feelings of imposter syndrome and move forward from them? Why is understanding your values important to overcoming your imposter syndrome and what can you do to figure out what your values are? How do you deal with imposter syndrome if you’re constantly around people who don’t respond positively to you opening up and being vulnerable? Why is it easier to connect with people who are open and honest about their flaws?   Imposter syndrome will always be a part of our lives if we are focused on improving ourselves, so while we cannot eliminate it, we can find ways to reframe it and minimize its impact on our daily lives.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Dr. Jill Stoddard’s website Be Mighty - by Dr. Jill Stoddard Psychologists Off the Clock - co hosted by Dr. Jill Stoddard The 5 Subtypes of Imposters by Dr. Valerie Young What are Your Core Values?   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover how to focus on what matters most with Dr. Steven Hayes. Steven C. Hayes is a professor and author of 44 books and nearly 600 scientific articles, his career has focused on an analysis of the nature of human language and cognition and the application of this to the understanding and alleviation of human suffering.   It’s easy to let your life get derailed when you don’t have a solid understanding of what matters to you, but what can you do to determine your guiding values and how can you differentiate between the important thoughts you have and those that just distract you?   What to Listen For What are the 6 processes can you implement to lead a more intentional life you find fulfilling? Why is the pursuit of good feelings and avoidance of bad feelings detrimental to the human experience? Why is it important to learn how to feel, and how do you learn how to appreciate “bad” feelings? What exercise can you do before seeing someone to put yourself in a great mood? How do you differentiate between thoughts that define you and thoughts that you’re experiencing, so you don’t have to feel like crap just because you’re thinking something negative about yourself? What can you do to define your values so you have a strong guiding compass in life and don’t get bogged down by insignificant details and failures? Should we trust our experience or our minds, and why can one lead to failure and time wasted? What are the 3 C’s that can lead you to a more clearly defined and fulfilling life? How can you deal with the thoughts that lead you to failure and avoidance?   There are an infinite number of things we could think about in a given day, but we only have 24 hours to experience them, so the thoughts we choose to focus on can have a lasting impact on not just our mental well being, but our long term happiness and success. Not having a solid foundation of guiding values can make it all too easy to fall into a trap of focusing on thoughts, feelings, and experiences that hold you back from becoming the person you want to be.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Whether you’re communicating with your team online or working on a project, Grammarly is the digital writing tool you can always rely on to get your message across clearly and effectively, across mobile and desktop platforms. Get 20% off Grammarly Premium when you sign up at grammarly.com/charm.   Resources from this Episode A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters by Dr Steven Hayes Dr. Steven Hayes’s website   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover belief systems with Dr. Stan Beecham. Dr. Beecham is a sport psychologist, the director and founding member of the Leadership Resource Center, and the author of Elite Minds: How Winners Think Differently to Create a Competitive Edge and Maximize Success. Beliefs define how we think about ourselves and the world around us, so what can you do to examine your own beliefs and understand if they are leading you to a better life or a worse one, and how can you change your beliefs if you realize they’re leading you down the wrong path?   What to Listen For What questions can you ask yourself to better understand your beliefs and values and how they influence your behavior? Why is it important to the people around you for you to work on yourself and constantly strive to be better? Why is happiness the wrong goal to aim for if you want a fulfilling life, and what should you aim for instead? Why is it important to examine your values and beliefs? How do your beliefs and values influence your ability to pay attention and how will they prevent you from seeing a reality that will lead you to fail? How do you rewrite the beliefs that are holding you back so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities to be successful and lead a fulfilling life? How should we perceive confidence in a way that allows us to be more confident? What can you do to overcome the urge to compare yourself to others?   What you believe influences how you perceive the world around you and what you get out of life. If you want to live a better life, achieve more success, or become the best version of yourself, it’s critical that you understand what you believe and why you believe what you believe. Going through life without an understanding of your beliefs and values is like wandering through a forest with a compass without understanding what north, south, east, and west are. Sure, you can follow the arrow on the compass because that seems normal, but will that get you to where you want to be? Only by sheer luck.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Elite Minds by Dr. Beecham Dr. Beecham on Twitter   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover the necessity of routines with Charles Duhigg. Charles is a Pulitzer-prize winning American journalist and non-fiction author, was a reporter for The New York Times, and has authored two books on habits and productivity, titled The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business and Smarter Faster Better. Routines are more important than we give them credit for, but why, what happens if we don’t establish routines for ourselves, and how can you build a great routine even when your world has been turned upside down? What to Listen For Why are routines so important for humans? What questions can you ask to spark interesting conversations instead of small talk? How can you consume entertainment in a way that nurtures your creativity and ability to lead interesting conversations? What can you do to find and identify experts you can trust? How do you distinguish between someone who is genuinely seeking advice and someone who is just venting? Why is mindset important when it comes to learning new skills? What exercise can you start doing today if you are struggling with accepting painful events in your life? What can you do to develop empathy and why is empathy so important today? The word “routine” may evoke thoughts of mundaneness, or mindless repetition, but routines are incredibly important to us as humans. Routines allow us to remove the necessity of making difficult decisions by automating them. Going to the gym stops being about dragging yourself out the door and instead becomes the thing you do every morning because it’s your routine. Eating a healthy meal for lunch stops being a choice in suffering and instead becomes the part of your routine that leads to a healthier you and prevents you from giving in to cravings. Routines are important, and positive healthy routines are the key to supporting you on your path to living the life you dream of.  A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode How To! - a podcast hosted by Charles Duhigg Charles Duhig’s website The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg Smarter Faster Better by Charles Duhigg Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we answer your questions and cover the All In Method with Alexandra Jamieson and Bob Gower. Alexandra is the bestselling author of five books, and co-creator / co-star of the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me, and Bob is a New York-based consultant, writer, and speaker. All of us have different values and beliefs guiding us through life, and the differences between two people can lead to damaging friction if they are not dealt with directly, so what can you do to get everyone on the same page and working toward a common goal while respecting each other? What to Listen For What is the All In Method (AIM) and how can you use it to maintain and strengthen your relationships, especially with those you work with? What questions can you ask yourself and others to develop more empathy and strengthen relationships with those you care about or work with? What is the value of boundaries and how do you start a conversation about your boundaries? Why can being rigid with your boundaries lead to worse outcomes than having no boundaries? What are the common pitfalls that teams run into when trying to reach alignment? What can examining our boundaries teach us about ourselves and the relationships we form with others? What can you do as a parent to help your children break out of their shell so their lack of social skills don’t lead to constant failure and disappointment? How do you express curiosity in conversations with people you’re not genuinely interested in getting to know? Should you write down questions before going into an important interview or date or even an appointment? The more time we spend with other people, the more likely it is that differences in personalities, values, and beliefs will lead to conflict. If that friction is not taken care of, it can destroy relationships professionally and personally. It is best to be proactive about potential problems rather than reactive, as being reactive can often mean being too late to solve a problem. And being proactive means being willing to have conversations that aren’t always easy or comfortable. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Radical Alignment by Alexandra Jamieson and Bob Gower Bob Gower’s website Alexandra Jamieson’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover critical feedback and how to ask for it with Steve Herz. Steve is President of The Montag Group, a sports and entertainment talent and marketing consultancy, and a career advisor to CEOs, lawyers, entrepreneurs, and young professionals. Critical feedback is important for our growth, but asking for it and receiving it can be challenging because people who care about us are generally hesitant to tell us anything negative about ourselves, so what can we do to get the feedback we need to improve? What to Listen For Why is critical feedback important to our growth and success, and how can we get better at receiving it? What can you do to get the feedback you need to grow in a culture where people seem to coddle each other out of fear of how you might respond to critical feedback? How do you ask for feedback in such a way that allows people to feel comfortable offering critical feedback rather than just saying something to make you feel good? How much of your success is determined by your proficiency versus your ability to connect with others? What steps can you take today to improve your ability to effectively communicate and connect with others so you don’t get passed up on job opportunities and promotions? What is the 360 review and how can it save you from ending up in terrible situations? Why is warmth important in building relationships and why can your aversion to it lead to failure in life? What can you do to work on your humility? How do energy and warmth work together when you are interacting with others, and what can you do to improve both while staying true to who you are? Critical feedback is important because you only have your perspective on what you are doing. So if you are always doing something incorrect while you believe it to be correct, how are you going to correct what you’re doing wrong if no one tells you. Unfortunately, the people who know us best will likely be hesitant to tell us when we’re doing something wrong out of fear of confrontation, or hurting our feelings, or just wanting to avoid a potentially awkward situation. This means we must make it easy and comfortable for the people who care about us to give us the feedback we need to be our best selves. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Whether you’re communicating with your team online or working on a project, Grammarly is the digital writing tool you can always rely on to get your message across clearly and effectively, across mobile and desktop platforms. Get 20% off Grammarly Premium when you sign up at grammarly.com/charm. Resources from this Episode Don’t Take Yes for an Answer by Steve Herz Steve Herz’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover what it means to achieve mastery of a subject or skill with Dr. Michael Gervais, a high performance psychologist working in the trenches of high-stakes environments with some of the best in the world, training the mindset skills and practices essential to pursuing and revealing one’s potential Mastering anything takes some talent, but it also takes consistent practice and a persistent mindset, so what can you do to cultivate the mindset required for mastery, what do you need to push through the pain along the way, and how can comparing your journey to others stop you from achieving your potential? What to Listen For What does it mean to achieve mastery of a skill or subject, and why can comparing our progress to others hinder our ability to achieve mastery? Why is it important for your mental and physical well being to live in the present moment? What steps can you take today to make sure you are focused on the present so you don’t get depressed about the past or anxious about the future? How important is your mindset if you already have talent and skill? How can you use self-talk to build your confidence so you feel comfortable taking on new challenges? What can you do to eliminate the self doubt that comes from comparing yourself to others? What question can you ask yourself to make sure you’re trying to get better rather than comparing your progress to others? How do you sort through conflicting advice on your way to mastering something? What can we do to let go of who we are now in order to become who we’re meant to be? Everyone is born with varying levels of aptitude in different areas, but just because you don’t have the genetics to be the best in the world at something, it doesn’t mean you can’t strive to master it. Mastery of a skill takes time, and if you didn’t win the genetic lottery, it’s going to take years of hard work. In order to push through the pain and suffering along the way, your mindset is as critical as your purpose, because if you don’t have a purpose guiding your mindset through the pain, the pain will win. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Compete to Create Finding Mastery - a podcast hosted by Dr. Gervais Dr. Gervais on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.