Listen Now

Its christmas and hannah and ben are podcasting....falalalalalalalalalalllllalalalallalalfal

Can Hannah save Christmas. I hope so because its already happened, or did it. I'm not sure....   because I'm Bob The Disgruntled Elf.

A short episode this week as Ben and Hannah find out the recording stopped, just as they were talking about penises, wouldn't you know.    

What you guy's still make this podcast, really? I thought one of you must have died or something, oh well I may as well do one of those downloads, how does this thing work,   do I click here?   What happened? where am I? what is this? I seem to be stuck somewhere dark? Do you see me? can you help? all I can see is my thoughts written out as text... Kevin is such a dick... wait I don't mean that.... everybody can read my thoughts... don't think about that embarrassing time I lost my underpants at a ten tenors concert.     

In this episode: Ben opens up about the ongoing IVF journey that he and his wife are on, the night before their egg retrival. Hannah over uses the word eww. Lindsay guest stars to talk about the IVF process, finding a doctor, going to appointments, getting an utrasound, taking meds and being and all round champion uterous. oh and foreskins. there are some sketches describing the history of IVF. that's pretty much the episode, with everything left in the balance as Ben and Lindsay await the outcome of the next day's procedure.... ooooh drama....  

potato |pəˈtātō| noun (pl. potatoes) verb (pl. potatoed)   1 a starchy plant tuber (not to be confused with ira glass)  one of the most important food pyramid schemes. cooked and eaten as a vegetable : roasted potatoes | the meal comes with rice, potato or feaces | leek and you shall find potato soup. • see sweet potato. not peet Swotato 2 the plant of the nightshade (ahhhhhh it stings)  family that produces the  tuber players  in underground  rum runners.ORIGIN mid 16th cent.: from Spanish patata (as in you say patata and I say pot--what?), variant of Taino batata ‘sweet patata.’ The English word originally denoted the sweet potato and gained its current sense in the late 16th cent. when king John decided to give up his habit of eating green beans with his meal and decided on the patata as meal unto its self. mostly becasue he liek to say the word patata, try it now.... go on... patata... Patata      

carrot       noun 1. a plant, Draucus carota(Dracula is Garotting me), of the parsley family, having pinnately decompound leaves and umbels(this is a good word learn it, say it....) of small white or yellow flowers, in itswild form a widespread, familiar weed, and in cultivation valued for its edible root. 2. the nutritious, orange to yellow(and purple) root of this plant, eaten raw or cooked. Must not be eaten during ovulation or a thunderstorm. Carries a risk of not actually being a carrot. 3. something hoped for or promised as a lure or incentive: To boost productivity, ben hinted at the carrot of carrots. Hannah looked at him quizically, "what is the carrot of carrots." Ben said "have you heard of the king of kings, the leader of leaders, the pinapple of pinapple? well its like that except a carrot." "what makes it so special then"  ben shrugged,"I dunno its a carrot." Compare stick1(def 8). verb (used with object) 4. to treat (furs) with mercuric nitrate preparatory to felting. Which is a very specific thing to use the same word as a food stuff, imagine your there looking for the carrots in a fur factory. Imagine the confusion, imagine the medical bills.   Origin of carrotExpand 1525-35; 

Ben learns that he can't read,  Hannah tells us about the Greek Cat,  The secret society of Australians has a very flaming successful chinwag Hannah explains how to make Ansac biskets Hannah explains about her time looking at penis's on grinder for money and laughter. Ben tries to do his greatest john cleese impression. hannah talks about hijacking a plane. The baladjura Educational Youth Theatre Company has its second last performance Charlse Darwin has a vistor 

Ben Talks about how neither of them really thought they would get past episode 6, ben declairs it a new season and promtly sets his record feed too high and over modulates his voice. Hannah has an idea to bring real art to the show, ben ruins everything, A man sells hannah a barely used bridge. Hannah and ben talk about Hannah's work in the fringe festival and why she's all ways so tired (she's pregnant {no I'm not!})  Ben discovers the way to make bullets points in this description, Ben likes to draw pictures. Lindsay guest stars on the show to talk about what its like to be a Labor and delivery nurse (which is all good info for hannah {Stop that I'm not pregnant ben}) Hannah ruins politics. then she comes up with an way to end the show on a cliff hanger. Hannah then makes a statement about Samual Beckett that is not true, Ben checked his facts and while becket did live in france, he was born in Ireland. the show is over why do the bullet points keep going. ben can't stop.  help me toilet friend!

Hannah reveals all in this interview on her acting career and life. Ben's obsession comes to ahead. The Balladurah Educational Youth Theatre Company has a problem audience member. Special Guest Psembi talks about his name. The increadible dead detective goes to a wedding (its more interesting than it sounds), We discuss Priaprism, the disorder that most men are like, yeah this is awesome, until it doesn't stop... Clive and Billy discuss the latest in grave digging inovation. Ben  rants about something thats annoying him... the show ends. You know after listening to this podcast my father said, "you need to know when to stop" so in honor of him we keep talking on topics like how do you poo in space... nuggets, and weather Hannah will have a baby. With thanks to our Special Guest @Psembi  Writen and Produced by  Ben Pascoe @Thesocietyofben Hannah Pascoe @Poppypascoe   

Christmas Special. Its christmas in 1914 and the war is stopped for a little soiree (yes I did have to look that up... Hannah has no Chrimbo Cheer, but thats no problem becasue Bob the disgruntled elf is here.... Ben talks about the christmas disease (trust me its not christmas unless you have it) Hannah and bob learn that the little match stick girl is kind of a buzz kill... Sumbodie's been murdered and its started the war on christmas, Hannah remembers a time when she pulled a christmas prank, Bob give Hannah the "its a wonderful life" treatment, (as opposed to the Cary Grant Treatment, you don't wnat to  well lets just leave that one alone...) Suprise guests Lindsay Pascoe, Liz and Robin Pascoe...   Christmas FUN!   

Ben rides the subway, The Balajura Educational Youth Theatre company discusses Masterbation,  Hannah employs a private detective, Milky John, radio call-ins, does anyone read this descriptions? Hannah gets a diagnosis of gonorrhea, Ben gets fired, then buys the moustache... Beef Jerky! Climactic scene on a balcony... There was a whispering in his head, the words he didn't wanted to here, whispering in his ear, Psembi...... Hannah manages to get it in just at the end...   

Ben interviews consipiracy theorists in search of the truth about Psembi,  its thanksgiving, Apollo 11 (the prequel to the Apollo 13 that one with tom hanks) Hannah explains about Napoleans Granddaughter and how she had a female anatomy, Ben finds out how congress works, Guest Person Lindsay and Ben talk about their search for a puppy. Ben talks shakespear, hannah talks fried chicken or legings, Then the end credits roll and nothing happens after that, nothing... absolutly nothing......

Ben discovers a new mystery, An Australian in Germany, What to monkey testies and Yeats have in common? Hannah gets angry. Ben meets a cat. Ovums! Sperm! Hannah Plays with trains. Ben does more shakespear...

Hannah and Ben talk about Monkey herpes, Hannah goes to a funeral, tries to find out about her dad, Ben forgets, they talk about chumans, a dark family cabbage is revealed Its podcasting, its sketch comedy.