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The 100 Word Stories Podcast
1 minutes | a day ago
I like fans. Even though the air conditioning is on, I still like the feel of a fan. Some fans are loud. And others catch lint and dust and cat hair in the grating. They’re a pain to clean out. So, I looked at one of those Dyson fans. They’re a bladeless design, and move more air while running much quieter than normal fans. So, I got one. And I compared it to my normal fan. It was quieter. I liked it. Then I turned on my laptop to write a review, and it’s fan was as loud as hell.
1 minutes | 2 days ago
The last minute trade
Sure, they’re a good team, but they can get better. So, at the trade deadline, they shopped their star outfielder for a third baseman. And the rest of their infield for starting pitching. Their starting pitchers were dealt for a new outfield. While the rest of their outfielders were exchanged for some bullpen pitchers, a closer, and a better catcher. Another catcher came in an even deal for their existing catcher. The next day, the locker room had a whole new bunch of guys suiting up. In uniforms that the equipment manager had just barely finished sewing on their names.
1 minutes | 3 days ago
The garage kitten
Someone found a kitten in the parking garage. It was a small black kitten, and hiding under a car. My black cat Myst has a bit of a cold, and I’ve been having to give her pills. She bites and claws and spits them out, so it hasn’t been easy. And last night, she fell asleep in my lap, fell off, and clawed my leg on the way down to the floor. Maybe I should go back for the kitten? I can show it to Myst and tell her that she’s been replaced. Maybe then she’ll take her damn pills.
12 minutes | 4 days ago
Weekly Challenge #782 – Advanced
Richard Lizzie Serendipidy Tom Duane Norval Joe Jared Planet Z RICHARD /r/windup I joined the group for a laugh. It was a dull Sunday afternoon, with nothing on TV, and I was bored; which is how I came to be trawling around communities on Reddit, just for the chance to wind up strangers on the internet. The Advanced Subatomic Particle Physics subreddit caught my attention, and I thought it would be fun to inject a bit of humour into the proceedings. Which is how my facetious comment about the interconnectedness of chocolate chip cookies and black holes, led to the discovery of a brand new subatomic particle. Which, they named after me! LIZZIE A cool course on something maritime, he couldn’t remember what. Something he had seen online, but he hadn’t paid much attention. And now he was in this predicament, surrounded by ice and no one in sight. The tiny boat was destroyed and that thing, whatever it was called, frantically blinking some sort of danger signal, was tossed aside. “And now, Mr. Smart Ass who never reads anything ’til the end? And now? Well, now you’re gone.” People searched for him. They did try… Surprisingly, the advanced “cool course” had twice as many attendees. People like getting in trouble, don’t they? SERENDIPIDY The scientists tell us that The Doomsday Clock is ticking and we’re just one hundred seconds from midnight. One hundred seconds aware from catastrophe, mass extinction and the end of the world. And for me, I couldn’t be happier to see an end to it all. When you’re immortal, time is an inconvenience; a never-ending, constant stream of boredom, irritation and near insanity. Midnight can’t come soon enough for me. So yesterday, I left my engine running, turned the aircon up to full, and spent all day dumping plastic waste into the ocean. And the clock advanced one second closer. TOM True Evil The guard pointed at the sack of salt. The old man pulled it up on to his shoulders. He moved steadily and evenly, which somehow made the guard smile. I watched for about an hour, wondering how long the old man could continue making the trip back and forth along the barber wire fence. Then suddenly he drop face down, there were no demanding action on the part of collection of guards. Just a moment of a hand a group of men materialize out of the shadows. Then he pointed at me and I advanced. Work will set you free I thought. DUANE As spaceflight quickly advances, humans are soon returning to the moon. Mars would be next and I am encouraged that it could happen in my lifetime. A trip to Mars takes about seven months one way. For such a long flight the first crew should be Buddhist monks. Buddhist monks are disciplined. They are accustomed to isolation. They already live a minimalist lifestyle. They could spend their downtime in contemplation of the Universe, while staring out at the Universe. Just think of the possibilities with meditation in zero gravity. Landing on Mars, they would be in the ultimate zen garden. NORVAL JOE Though Mr. Blanketmaker had advanced toward Linoliamanda’s father with his hand extended in a friendly greeting and a smile on his face, Mr. Withybottom turned his back on him, headed toward his house, and shouted over his shoulder, “Come on, Linny. Get in the house.” It didn’t take an advanced degree in psychology for anyone to see that the girl’s father had emotional control issues. Still Billbert wanted everyone to be happy and get along. While Linoliamanda searched for her cat again, Billbert ran across the street. “Mr. Withybottom. What would it take for Linoliamanda and me to remain friends?” JARED And my story for this week on the topic of Advanced is entitled Advancing the Runner €€€€€ In baseball, a batter can get on base in many ways. Let’s ignore the pitching stuff: wild pitches, balks, walks, ‘bean balls’, etc. Just hit the ball in play and beat the throw. That’s a base hit. Unless the defense mishandled the ball. Then it’s an Error. Or if they threw to another base for a force out then threw to First. If you still beat the throw, that’s scored as ‘reached on a Fielder’s Choice’. If the defensive player obstructs your path, ‘Player Interference’. These all count zero on batting average. Like a Walk, but a lot more work. PLANET Z When Arthur asked his oncologist how far the cancer had progressed, he said “I wouldn’t be buying any green bananas.” Which really didn’t make much sense to Arthur, since he didn’t like bananas, so he didn’t buy them. Arthur thanked the doctor, went to the grocery store, and bought some green bananas. “I don’t understand what all the fuss is about,” said Arthur. “They’re green. What’s the harm?” He tossed the bananas aside and went about his day, totally forgetting about them. Until, later, he walked back into the kitchen, stepped on one, and slipped on it, cracking his skull.
2 minutes | 4 days ago
Jared – River Song
My story for last week is entitled Never Cross River Song €€€€€ He stopped running. He was so tired of running. He had lost track of how long he’d been running long ago. But he couldn’t stop now. Running was the only thing keeping him out of the hands of his would-be killer. And she had a personal temporal displacement system. So, he had to run, but also jump – system to system, timestream to timestream. He almost escaped for good. He did a multi-step jump through a planet moments before its destruction. But he triggered a traceable signature on the other side, allowing her to avoid his trap and regain his trail.
2 minutes | 4 days ago
The topic of the next weekly challenge is SAINT
Hi there. This is Laurence Simon of the 100 Word Stories Podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. Every week, I post a topic for the Weekly Challenge, where you come up with the stories and I collect them up and share them. Want to give it a try? The topic of the next 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge is SAINT Write a 100 word story on that topic. Then, send it in an email to isfullofcrap (at) gmail.com with the subject line of WEEKLY CHALLENGE. Include the following: The text of your story. A topic or topics for future Weekly Challenges. A website where people can learn more about you and your writing, include the URL to that website. A recording of your story. Be sure to introduce yourself to the audience. I put the episode together on Sunday morning. But, if you need more time, I can put your story up on the feed in a separate post. Good luck, and as always… keep it brief. https://oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/thenexttopicisSAINT.mp3 JAN 3 Fire JAN 10 Why is mother crying? JAN 17 Get a life! JAN 24 How does that grab you? JAN 31 Prowling, Canon, Everything, To/Too/Two, Risk, Delinquent, Spray Tan FEB 7 Smalltalk FEB 14 Pizza FEB 21 Wine FAN 28 Ruins, Cone, A toast!, Rebel, Dive, Name change, Glow MAR 7 Tilting MAR 14 Behind a bush MAR 21 Unlimited MAR 28 Remember only this…, Scope, Church, Melt, Fade, Bare APR 4 River crossing APR 11 Advanced APR 18 Saint APR 25 Fuming, Bean, When will it stop raining, Vaccine, Quarantine, Helmet, Tin MAY 2 List MAY 9 Stay safe MAY 16 Don’t press the button! MAY 23 Hand MAY 30 Address, Blundering buffoon, Bunny, View, Wizard, What’s that on the horizon?, Bark JUN 6 Trade JUN 13 Riding shotgun JUN 20 Prompt JUN 27 Crystalline, Copper, Outbreak, Demure, Paper thin, Bonus, Bleach JUL 4 So many questions JUL 11 Needle JUL 18 Letter JUL 25 Can you help me?, Enough, Market, Trial, Bundle, The noise is driving me mad!, Inventory AUG 1 Discard AUG 8 Misnomer AUG 15 If I had a nickel for every time AUG 22 Where do I begin? AUG 29 Full, Where did they go?, Barrel, Your call, Universally, Joint, Some might say… SEP 5 Doubtful SEP 12 Over to you… SEP 19 The heat of the moment SEP 26 Craft, Ceremoniously, Empty spaces, Clickbait, Disposal protocol, You saved my life, Level OCT 3 Binge OCT 10 After OCT 17 Disintegration OCT 24 …Since records began OCT 31 Vase, Rub, Top, Spring fresh, Chime, The End, Crop NOV 7 Unsure NOV 14 Arson NOV 21 What’s that on your face? NOV 28 Square, Unexpected message, Formation, The door flew open, Fret, Prediction, Jelly fish DEC 5 Bee DEC 12 Store DEC 19 Left DEC 26 Don’t push me…, Animated, Compassion, Indifferent, Ally, Whale, A fork in the road THE REST OF THE TOPICS Overexposed Even Pick one Fight fire with fire Velcro Typo Warren A thin veneer Age Streak I was very young Brownie mix Cliche Feeble Uncompromising Flowering Are we there yet? Late I’ll be there Hair Slippery slope Too much to bear Weather Varnish Explanation Preventative Maintenance Contact Landing Mice cream Free Mice Chewy Godzilla The sweet smell of success Proposal Sentence Trust Twist Thicket Every good intention Train Spook Thousands of years Virtual reality Prompt Extremely flexible Consensus Major Scoreboard Anywhere Blocker Major Koala Bleak Pool USB socket Gadget Robot Choke Cross country Pop Where’s Ethel? Toothpaste Concertina Pacing Screaming Kids Tie Deal Archimedes Evidence Water Torture Own Cassette tape Remember Remote Everyone Mimes Contact lens Crash Clemency Speediest Thumbs up Remote What happens next? Quit Remastered Heated Record The way we were Millions Arrow January Code Offroad Mouse trap Base Facts Martian Stamp Waterproof The wrong words Bottomless pit Safe A word from an unknown language. Irresistible Anaheim Speed Put that thing down Spycam Pew Evidence March Horror on the subway! Thick Exposed Your honor Diet Point Superhero Host Scroll Style Range Together Block Cracked pavement Shenanegans Blinded As far as the eye can see Intake Forward Satisfied Collection Frozen in time Recovery Moisture Stand Canyon Revewal Old Videos Riot of color Split Potato eyes Photograph It’s a dirty job Fine Overhead Why should I? Mass Mustard yellow Basic Opportunity Afford Blue sky Part Rat stew
1 minutes | 5 days ago
Caress the data
Ted was an honest statistician. He collected data all day and ran it all through models for analysis. But his partner Billy wasn’t honest. Billy liked to massage the data. He went full-on dirty and crude with the models. And only the hottest models. Caressed the data in ways that would make any honest statistician blush. Ted would hear strange sounds coming from Billy’s office. He’d smell musty, strange smells. And Billy would bring in packages wrapped in brown paper, never telling Ted what was in them. Should they split? Ted tossed a coin, and it landed on its edge.
1 minutes | 6 days ago
The network’s survival
Do you remember the show with the flying saucer? They went on for three seasons, and their audience grew with every episode. The merchandising, too. Toy robots. Lunch boxes. Fizzy candy snacks. And, of course, a flying saucer frisbee. Pretty soon, everyone was watching the show. Nobody watched any another shows. Because all they wanted to do is watch that show. So, at the height of popularity, the network cancelled the show. Because they were losing money on every other show. In the end, they made a series of popular movies. And, of course, all other movies suffered for it.
1 minutes | 7 days ago
Albert the Plant
To avoid paying taxes, Albert claimed that he was a houseplant. “Plants don’t pay taxes,” said Albert. He hired a good lawyer, and he fought the government in court. The judge decided in Albert’s favor. “Congratulations,” said Albert’s lawyer. “You’re a plant. So, about my bill…” Albert smiled and walked out of the courtroom. Because plants didn’t have to pay bills. “They also don’t pay rent,” Albert told his landlord. The landlord evicted Albert and tossed his stuff on the street. “Plants don’t own stuff,” said Albert’s neighbors, grabbing what they could. Albert sat down on the curb and wept.
1 minutes | 8 days ago
When David Prowse died, his spirit floated up to Heaven. He waited at the curb until it was safe to cross. “We’re all huge fans of yours,” said Saint Peter. “In fact, we have a screening of the Star Wars movies tonight.” They all watched, and everyone cheered and recited the lines along with the beloved movies. And at the end of the third movie, when Vader’s mask was removed, it was David’s face, not Sebastian Shaw’s. David cried with joy. “This truly is Heaven.” So, what about the prequels? “What prequels?” said Saint Peter. Yes, it truly was Heaven.
1 minutes | 7 months ago
The first bite
There’s something about hot dogs at ballgames. It doesn’t matter if you do mustard or ketchup, relish or chili and cheese. It’s the hot dog. The hot dog is what matters. When it’s just peanuts, popcorn, cracker jack and beer in the stands… I’ve seen it. And I can’t unsee it. The diamond is sacred. The game eternal. That San Francisco crowd wanted kale chips, microbrews, Coke Zero, and sushi. AT&T Park went up like an atom bomb. You could see it from Oakland. Millions died. So, we throw out the first pitch, take that first bite, and play ball.
1 minutes | 7 months ago
Despite his heavy workload in the genetics fabrication lab, Joe followed the headlines as best as he could. And when the Supreme Court rules that same-sex marriage was a civil right, he knew that it was only a matter of time. “What about identical twins?” he asked an attorney friend. “That’s just… wrong,” they said. Joe sighed, hung up the phone, and stared through the glass wall of the fabrication tank. Staring back from the tank, Joe Prime twitched and shuddered from the tiny shocks that the holographic micro-current neuroinducer used to copy Joes memories into his brain. And smiled.
1 minutes | 7 months ago
When it comes to Italian food, some folks swear by Buca di Beppo. I think it means Joe’s Basement. Although buca in Italian is a hole. Which in some cities, it is. The health code violation reports are longer than your arm. Me, I prefer to eat in the attic. It’s quieter up there. Although there’s spiders and dust. Yuck. The garage? The cars take up too much room. The kitchen? Well, you know your food will get to your table quickly, but it sucks you see something great that you didn’t order. At least it’s not fucking Oliver Garden.
1 minutes | 7 months ago
It’s date night. We’re at the pizza parlor, you and me. A table for two. With a candle in a wine bottle. A violin player going from table to table. Napkins and menus, a classy place. You ask me what I want on my pizza. What do I want on my pizza? I want my lips on it. I want my teeth, gums, and lips on it. I want my tongue on it. I want my saliva and gastric juices on it. I want it all. The waiter blinks, says he’ll be back, and puts down a basket of breadsticks.
1 minutes | 7 months ago
Go see a doctor
Are you coughing? Go see a doctor. There are lots of them out there. Some are short. Some are tall. Some are skinny. Some are fat. Some smell really nice. They come in a variety of colors. Some are in hospitals. Others are in malls. And then there’s the ones in back alleys. You don’t want to see them for a cough. Some doctors carry sonic screwdrivers and say “I’m sorry” a lot. You don’t want to see them for a cough, either. So, go see a doctor. There are lot of them out there. And some smell really nice.
1 minutes | 7 months ago
Boris slept like a rock. A bomb could go off, and he wouldn’t wake up. Vanya liked to use her lipstick to draw on Boris while he slept. He wasn’t ticklish, so she had plenty of time to draw on him. She’d draw stick figures and bird, other animals. Or she’d draw mountainscapes and seashore scenes. She put a lot of effort into her work, switching to mascara brushes and eyeliner for fine details. Her favorite was on Friday. She would write FR on Boris’ left thigh and DAY on his right thigh. You know where she drew the I.
15 minutes | 7 months ago
Weekly Challenge #752 – DEPLOY
Lizzie Richard Serendipidy Tom Tura Norval Joe Todd Spargo Rick Thomas Planet Z LIZZIE Deploy your hopes and your dreams. Organize them in squadrons. Make sure they are well armed and motivated. Follow the rules. The rules? The rules to neatly line up your dreams and your hopes, the rules. Dreams and hopes line up neatly? Neatly and obediently. Those are not hopes and dreams. Those are not… Shut up. Deploy your hopes and dreams like an army. Organize them in squadrons of nothingness and the future will be yours. And then there was silence. That stifling silence that hits you when you know, you suddenly know. You close your eyes and you know. RICHARD Operation Deploy I was surprised they chose us for Operation Deploy. The army considered us non-combatants pretty much a waste of space. However, there it was, in black and white – although, somewhat coffee stained, thanks to my clumsiness! Operation Deploy. We’d be dropped deep into enemy territory, where we’d undertake a mission vital to the success of the war. Details would be revealed to us after deployment. For a covert operation, the enemy seemed to know exactly where to find us. On the orders in my pocket, through the coffee stain, now dry, the words ‘Operation Decoy’ could clearly be read. SERENDIPIDY Welcome to the Centre for Internal Medical Research. Thank you for volunteering for this exciting opportunity to become an Internal Research Assistant, which as you are aware, enable us to investigate a living human body from within. You will, of course, have many questions about precisely how we will deploy you into the host body – that process is, I’m afraid, commercially sensitive. You will, however, be injected into a large vein, using a process that does not require you to be miniaturised, despite any science fiction you may have read! Now, if you’ll please step into the blender, we’ll begin. TOM Home From The Hill It was the four shift in the bunker. Junior Grade Smith was monitoring all the usual channel and equipment. The sound came from an ancient rack of prewar systems. A rhythmic clicking repeating again and again. Smith opened a battered three ring binder. He cross refed: Clicking and found the table of Morris Code graphics. Slowly writing down the difference between dot and dashes he had the message: DEPLOY. So he did. 10,000 drones in 10 warehouse took flight. Duty done he popped a burrito in the nano-wave. And took a swig of a Jägermeister. “I am the master hunter” TODD Build 61.0.3163.79 online. The android’s eyes fluttered open registering the little girl standing before him. “Hi mister robot. I’m Scarlett. What’s your name?” asked the little girl cheerfully. “Tactical Observation Droid, Build 61…” “Nooo,” she interrupted, “What’s your REAL name? “ “Tod, I’m Tod” corrected the android, “Pleased to meet you.” Scarlett smiled and thrust her hand within inches of the android’s face. “Want a piece of candy?” she asked. Defense mode suppressed. Affable disposition triggered. “Thanks, Scarlett.” The android smiled, gently took the candy, and popped it in its mouth. Diagnostic complete. Build cleared for human interaction and deployed. NORVAL JOE Before Linoliamanda could reach for the doorknob, the door swung open. Her mother gasped, putting her hand to her mouth. “What be happenin to ye, Linnie?” “Where do I begin?” Linoliamanda said. “Billbert and I be flying to a battle between superheroes and villains, when we be knocked from the air.” Mr. Withybottom appeared behind his wench, rolling his scurvy eyes. “Be the National Guard deployed to control the situation or be Superman called in?” Billbert scowled. “Be ye drunk on bilge water? Can’t ye see yer own daughter be hurt. We be needing to get her to the hospital.” TURA Deploy ——— In George’s student days, he would write his essays by Googling a random string of buzzwords, then mash together everything he found, rewriting it just enough to avoid plagiarism detectors. He completed a Ph.D. in sociology that way, even got an assistant professorship. But he never made tenure, so he left academia and redeployed his skills to writing management books. After churning out a few dozen of those and getting a steady stream of $20,000 speaking engagements, he got bored with nonsense and longed for something real. And that’s why he became a pirate (but not a very good one). RICK Girl Power Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a figure. Young, beautiful, personable, and popular … Lynn had the world at her fingertips. Honor roll student, a nice car, a good after school job … … and minions … boys who followed her, adored her, wanted her, would do anything for a chance to be with her. Paul almost certainly gave this little thought when he confronted her … “Arrogant, self-absorbed, inconsiderate … A germ that infests our student body” he said. She cried. Lynn told her minions, they were not happy. Paul was beaten within an inch of his life. Lynn smiled … Never underestimate the most popular girl. PLANET Z There had been some police brutality incidents, so people rioted and protested, and city councils and mayors threatened to reduce and cut police funding. Cops began to retire or transfer to rural departments in greater numbers than usual. A few national guard units went into the cities, and some federal troops went in to assist. “How dare you!” shouted governors and city councils and mayors. Riots and protests continued, and general crime went on the rise, too. Then, a few city councilors and mayors themselves were mugged and assaulted. They demanded action by the police. “Fuck you,” said the cops.
1 minutes | 7 months ago
The next topic is ANCHOR
Hi there. This is Laurence Simon of the 100 Word Stories Podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. Every week, I post a topic for the Weekly Challenge, where you come up with the stories and I collect them up and share them. Want to give it a try? The topic of the next 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge is ANCHOR Write a 100 word story on that topic. Then, send it in an email to isfullofcrap (at) gmail.com with the subject line of WEEKLY CHALLENGE. Also, suggest a topic or topics for future Weekly Challenges. Do you have a website where people can learn more about you and your writing? Include the URL to that website. Most importantly, include a recording of your story. Be sure to introduce yourself to the audience. I put the episode together on Sunday morning. However, if you need more time, I can put your story up on the feed in a separate post. Good luck, and as always… keep it brief. JAN 5 crunch JAN 12 fake JAN 19 shark JAN 26 PICK TWO: pulled from the water, quirk, pride, ploy, goof, exposed FEB 2 hankering FEB 9 lapse FEB 16 hot potato FEB 23 PICK TWO: contest, hop to it, toys, pain, treading water, protect MAR 1 tinfoil MAR 8 gate MAR 15 gulf MAR 22 device MAR 29 PICK TWO: to hell with the critics, selfie, jute, impossible, do the needful, icon APRIL 5 not APRIL 12 dendrite APRIL 19 sanitize APRIL 26 PICK TWO: ecology, rash, aberration, plinth, mnemonic, wrought MAY 3 chemistry MAY 10 nobody gets out of here alive MAY 17 empowered MAY 24 illuminate MAY 31 PICK TWO: null, smartphone, audio, alternative, hot, seek JUN 7 We apologise for the inconvenience JUN 14 mushroom JUN 21 what’s that on the radar? JUN 28 PICK TWO: mass, trade, headache, pick me, It’s not you it’s me, JUL 5 cleave JUL 12 soar JUL 19 powder JUL 26 PICK TWO: case, chewable, grasshopper, signals from outer space, here be monsters, deadly AUG 2 who’s blood is that? AUG 9 beans AUG 16 traitor AUG 23 pick a card… any card! AUG 30 PICK TWO: a new beginning, library, Ireland, storyteller, friends, home SEP 6 camp SEP 13 deploy SEP 20 anchor SEP 27 PICK TWO: indigo, anchor, shell, squeaky clean, jaw, amphibious OCT 4 money OCT 11 boxer OCT 18 kitten OCT 25 PICK TWO: piano, mongoose, tower, cartoon, evil, serve NOV 1 revolution NOV 8 plump NOV 15 chainsaw NOV 22 cluster NOV 29 PICK TWO: reward, puppet, global, gear, shop, pit stop DEC 6 still DEC 13 pick one DEC 20 fruitcake DEC 27 PICK TWO: the hand that feeds you, scope, dresser, pit stop, quip, knave FUTURE TOPICS Fire Why is mother crying? Get a life! How does that grab you? Prowling Canon Everything To/Too/Two Risk Delinquent Spray Tan Smalltalk Pizza Wine Ruins Cone A toast! Rebel Dive Name change Glow Tilting Behind a bush Unlimited Remember only this… Scope Church Melt Fade Bare River crossing Advanced Saint Fuming Bean When will it stop raining? Vaccine Quarrantine Helmet Tin List Stay safe Don’t press the button! Hand Who took the sunshine? Address Blundering buffoon Bunny View Wizard What’s that on the horizon? Bark Trade Riding shotgun Prompt Crystalline Copper Outbreak Demure Paper thin Bonus Bleach So many questions Needle Letter Can you help me? Enough Market Trial Bundle The noise is driving me mad! Inventory Discard Misnomer If I had a nickle for every time Where do I begin? Full Where did they go? Barrel Your call Universally Joint Some might say… Doubtful Over to you… The heat of the moment Craft Ceremoniously Empty spaces Clickbait Disposal protocol You saved my life Level Binge After Disintegration Vase Rub Top Clear soup Spring fresh Chime The End Crop …Since records began Unsure Arson What’s that on your face? Square Unexpected message Formation The door flew open Fret Prediction Jelly fish … but seriously Store My idiot neighbour Left Don’t push me… Animated Compassionate Indifferent Ally Whale A fork in the road Bee Overexposed Even Pick one Fight fire with fire Velcro Typo Warren A thin veneer Age Streak I was very young Brownie mix Cliche Feeble Uncompromising Flowering Are we there yet? Late I’ll be there Hair Slippery slope Too much to bear Weather Varnish Explanation Preventative Maintenance Contact Landing Mice cream Free Mice Chewy Godzilla The sweet smell of success Proposal Sentence https://oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/thenexttopicisANCHOR.mp3
1 minutes | 7 months ago
George the Barkeep
George wasn’t a pirate. He was a barkeep. He bought this bar and named it George the Pirate. And pirates from all around would come here to drink. Sometimes, they’d pay with a ship’s wheel, or a figurehead, or an anchor. All the junk you see hanging on the walls. They’d tell stories, but it was tradition to tell them as if they were about George. And George would laugh and serve another round. He had no children to leave the bar to, but he lives on through his stories. And we tell them, and raise our tankards to George.
2 minutes | 7 months ago
George the Chili Cookoff
George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate. Still, he did his best to find ways of being useful. Every year, he ran The Great Pirate Chili Cookoff. Pirates from all around the world sailed in to challenge each other’s cooking prowess. Sometimes, all-out wars would break out, especially between factions of pirates who thought that chili should include beans and those who thought beans don’t belong in chili. After the smoke cleared, George and his shipmates would loot the bodies and abandoned ships. “Very clever,” said George’s captain. “Just sleep downwind from everybody else tonight, okay?”
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